Chapter 16 || Dying, Dreaming, Screaming

Unedited. /// You guys mighttttt love this chapter, you're welcome!

Sorry for the long wait, I know I can be a bit much at times but bear with me😭

As for MTAMM lovers, I'm a bit hesitant for the moment. As most of you know, I don't plan my books before writing them, so now I'm not too sure how to proceed. I'll have to find the time to write it because I haven't touched the next chapter yet. Sorry about that😿

DYING, DREAMING, SCREAMING

"Namora!"

"I'm just playing with you, I'm sorry," I say, zipping my jacket back up quickly.

He suppresses what he wants to say, clenching his jaws. He's averted his face, looking the other way.

I slip the sweater over me.

"I intended for you to wear it over your wet clothes. Not for you to undress in front of me," he continues.

He's deadly calm. Too deadly calm.

I expected him to scream at me. But he's not doing that.

...so what calamity is awaiting me?

"-And do you think this is the time to play with me?" He says, tone accusing.

I open my mouth, but he beats me to it.

"Who on earth can raise such an ill-mannered girl?"

That shuts me up, and I sink back in my seat, wanting the ground to swallow me whole. I only unzipped my clothes halfway, I don't understand why he's being so over dramatic.

Granted, it took him by surprise, but still. He's too uptight for his own good.

But after a few seconds, the guilt comes to chip away at me when I begin to weigh it out. It is inappropriate. I did cross the line.

What on earth possessed me? I was taking this 'surprise him' challenge way too far.

"There's so many things I would like to say right now," he utters through clenched teeth, as if echoing my thoughts, "but it will have to wait till next time. I need to get you home first, the weather outside is-"

"Mr. Williams," I squeak out.

"If you say one more word, Namora," he mutters darkly.

That shuts me up.

"Jesus, you can't just do that in front of me," he repeats, shaking his head, almost as if he's talking to himself. His free hand goes up to palm his chin, deep in thoughts. It's as if I'm not right there next to him; he's already lost in his own world.

Shít, what the hell did I do?

I got too carried away. I knew I wouldn't be able to control myself at one point and fúck things up. I guess I didn't expect it to be so soon.

I don't know what I'm doing until I see Mr. Williams sighing, giving me a face full of concern.

And then I realize that little droplets are leaking out of my eyes, and I resign myself to a full, silent bawl. Curling myself into a ball.

Why am I victimizing myself?

"Are we- are we almost home?" I find myself daring to ask, my voice cracking with an overflow of emotions.

"Yes. Please don't cry, Namora," he says gently.

My skin tingles when he places a hand on my arm, rubbing comfortingly.

I gulp, staring down at the wedding band on his finger, the way it glimmers and seems to mock at me. Scorch me with tendrils of despair because what I yearn for, I cannot seem to have.

"But you're right, I'm such a sick person," I say, full of self-inflicted pain, letting my pitiful state come out into the open.

I'm at my most vulnerable right now, and he can break me as he pleases. I just opened my heart to him for that. So that I can wallow in self-pity later.

I squeeze my eyes shut.

I really am a sick person.

I hear movement on my right, and when I peel my eyes open, I realize that we've already arrived at my house.

Shakily, I move to open the door, but his hand stops me.

Again, the tingles course through me, and I feel as if I'm on cloud nine even amidst my horrible state. I guess that's what an infatuation can do to you. Make you feel good even at your worst. And that's pure torture.

I shoot him a questioning look, and he just stares down at my beat-up self, deep in thought.

"Namora," he begins uncertainly, "I'm sorry."

I stare at him for a few moments, unable to see where he's heading with this.

"I'm sorry... for what you're going through. And I'm sorry for not being able to help in a proper way, I'm only your teacher after all. Regardless, just know that I'm here for you, and that I understand your problems might be clouding your judgement."

I keep staring at him, my heart hammering away in my chest, to the point where I know I'm visibly shaking.

He furrows his brows, "Namora?"

I don't give him time.

I lean over the gear stick, my skinny limbs moving to fist his hair.

God knows how long I've been dying, dreaming, screaming to do this.

"Namora, what are you-"

His feeble attempts to push me away disappears as soon as I place a small, feathery kiss over his rosy lips.

I bite them teasingly, my fangs sinking into his softness while he remains unresponsive, unmoving.

The dopamine clouding my head excuses the anxiety bubbling in my stomach as I cup his face and nip at his lips eagerly, savouring the softness.

I pull away not soon after, immediately missing his exquisite lips.

And I sit there for a millisecond, relishing in his surprised state.

The way his blue eyes are wide, coming alive with shock, the rosy hue painting his cheek, his now half opened mouth.

As if he could not believe this just happened.

Heck, I could not believe this just happened.

But before he has a chance to scold me, scream at me, or do whatever, I quickly open the door and jump out. Running away from him, up towards the porch of my house- my hellish safety haven.

I turn to see the door I left open being closed, after which he seems to drive away without missing a beat.

With a faint smile, I lift my hand up to touch my tingling lips, greedily swiping over them with my tongue, savouring the remnants of his sweet, sweet taste.

I just gave him my first kiss.

And God, if I say I loved it.