Chapter 19 || Blues Flashing Red

My bad I do realize it's been a long ahh time since my last update but IM BACK MY LOVES!!!

Unedited.

I HOPE EVERYONE IS WELL AND GOOD

sending lots of love xoxoxo

BLUES FLASHING RED

"I would say sorry... if I really was sorry..." I begin, letting my fingers graze my lips. It's as if I can still feel the taste of him against them.

"...but I'm not sorry. I enjoyed it. And, Mr. Williams, I know a part of you did, too."

He inhales, running a hand through his hair, cursing. He turns his back to me and slams his fist onto the teacher's desk so suddenly, I visibly jump.

Clearly, he's too mature and too honest to deny that he does feel attracted to me. However, he can't admit to it. And I know why, obviously.

"I'm not..." He continues muttering unintelligible words to himself, and I watch as he toys with the ring on his finger with a purpose.

His eyebrows are furrowed, and his blue eyes are blank again- I know he has receded back into his thoughts.

Don't, I wish to tell him- to distract him- but I bite my tongue. I already did too much damage. I can't extend my hand for more.

In his eyes, I am a troubled girl.

Perhaps I'm taking advantage of that fact. Perhaps not.

But dear reader, I think we both know the answer to that.

"Leave, Namora." I hear his voice, and I jump in surprise.

"You can't—"

"I said, leave." His voice is calm. Too calm. Like a tempest; a rising storm about to conquer. Conquer me?

"I'm sorry, I didn't—"

"How much more will you do? How many more times will you say sorry before the word is exhausted of its own meaning?"

"I... I don't think before I do what I do and I know, I know I need to think but I can't. You make me feel safe, Mr. Williams, and maybe that's why I'm so bold and daring and careless with my actions and I... I'm sorry," I yammer in frustration, letting my mouth run its course, tears welling up in my eyes again.

"For God's sake, Namora, this is the second time you've kissed me. And it was intentional." He almost yells, his body shaking, his beautiful blues flashing red and making me drown in his oceanic tornado of a wrath.

"I know! I'm sorry. I need... I think it's best if I leave right now, I'm sorry, you helped me, you're still helping me, I don't know, I just... I adore you... I don't know what comes over me sometimes, but you... I can't lose you sir..." I look up at him, lower lip wobbling, and he looks down at me with the most frustrated expression I've ever seen on this man. But God, does it make me want to do things to him. He looks absolutely, positively scrumptious.

"God, Namora, even as an English Literature teacher it's so hard to analyze you. Why are you like this?" He heaves in the most exasperated voice and I blanche— clearly he's not going to let it go so easily. And he's thinking his thoughts out loud, not a good sign. He's always so calm and composed. Maybe I did overstep this time.

But will that stop me?

I think not.

"Sir, I think I need to leave, but you need to realize that I'm deeply sorry for that happening. I know, I know it's hard to believe because it's happened a second time—"

"Namora, I'm married."

"—And I fùcking wish you weren't!"

Dead silence.

We both stop at my outburst, him taken by surprise, seeing as he took a step back away from me as if he's been pushed, and me out of pure terror.

Why on Earth did I let my thoughts get the better of me?

"I... I didn't mean that. It was a mistake."

"Namora, I think you really have to leave." He clenches his teeth, anger evident on his face. But what surprises me is the cloud of thought that looms over his eyes— he doesn't seem offended, not at all.

What does that mean?

Maybe I should give him what he wants. I already stretched my case out too much already, I can't afford more of a stretch lest it destroy our kindling relationship completely.

I am the painter after all.

"You're right, sir." I say tertly, walking towards the door. Right before I leave, I turn around and give him one last look.

"I'm sorry." I whisper brokenly, letting all the despair I feel seep into those very words like the wrath of Hades. And with that, I am out the door and into the hallway, bounding out at a fast pace, wondering what I'm going to do once I get home.

It is hard to pinpoint exactly what I'm feeling, since right now a certain numbness has overcome me and it is stagnant.

I think about my actions and his reactions and realize that the string is thin now, and all it takes is a little tug for things to come falling off at their seams.

That leaves me no more cards to play; but am I really the painter if one more stroke will ruin the painting?

Or am I overthinking it? Maybe I'm being too pessimistic?

But his actions...

I rub my face with my hands in exasperation, and look up in time to see locks of brown hair disappearing around the corner.

I stop dead in my tracks, this time for entirely different reasons.

My blood runs cold, my throat is dry.

I really hope someone didn't see us.

Because if they did?

We'd have to say goodbye for sure.

"Namora? Why are you still here?"

I most positively jump from fear and elicit a gasp from the boy who talked to me.

Turning around, I'm met with Daniel's pleasant face, and I put a hand to my heart to calm my racing heart.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." He gives me a lopsided grin. Cute.

"Y-yeah it's fine... I was still here because I had to collect some homework and stuff..." But why is he here?

"Oh okay, well since you're here do you want to catch a ride with me? I'm on my way out now too, been a busy day."

I nod gloomily and he leads the way to his car. I can't shake the feeling of fear that I've been feeling since earlier, I really don't know what I'll do if someone saw us. If someone heard us. God, please help me.

I don't want to lose him.

I was so deep in my thoughts I don't realize when I accidentally bump into Daniel's back from walking too quickly.

"Ouch!" I yell, clutching my nose which seems to have had the biggest impact against his solid build.

"Careful, why do you seem so stressed?" Daniel quizzes, turning around to narrow his eyes at me. "What happened to you?"

"Oh it's nothing, like you know, tomorrow is a weekend and I have nothing to do, staying home is stressful y'know 'cause like, problems..." I let my mouth run its course and realize Daniel seems to have believed me.

"So you're home during the weekend? Say, why don't we hang around tomorrow?" Daniel offers kindly, showcasing his pearly whites.

My heart melts: if only I was a normal high school girl, I would've fallen head over heels for the guy.

"I think I'll take you up on that offer."

Maybe a weekend of fun won't hurt so bad.

Would it?