Sitting Next To You

Jana-

Slipping into the kitchen, Jana felt his stomach twist further into knots. He had fought with his new voice for nearly an hour before he'd managed to get himself up from the corner where he slept. He'd done as Domino had asked and ate, but did so rarely. Even in prison, he barely ate, so eating David's large portions normally filled him up for the entire day, and then some.

His stomach growled quietly but no one was around to hear it. When he glanced over at the clock hanging above the refrigerator, Jana knew why the place was deserted. Four A.M. The cook would be up in an hour or two to start prepping, but it was a relief to know that no one should bother him for a bit. He was also glad that Orion and Zachary slept really deeply.

With a slight hop to his step, Jana made his way over to the fridge and opened the door. There wasn't much, but that was no surprise. That giant ape-man eats a ton. He thought as he leaned in and began rummaging around the leftover containers.

"You should eat the chocolate mousse cake just to spite George and Xena."

Jumping abruptly from surprise, Jana smacked his head against the ceiling of the fridge, then staggered back as his hands went to rub at the throbbing spot beneath his hair. Anger boiled up as he tried to fight back tears. He'd never hit his head so hard from just being startled.

Zachary didn't mean to frighten you. Please don't be mad at him!

Blinking back unshed tears, Jana looked up to see Zachary only a foot or so away, his hands held up as if he wanted to comfort him, but was afraid to. He's afraid of me. Jana thought, frustrated with that information for some reason. At the prison, he wanted everyone to fear him. He didn't want to interact with a damn person if he didn't have to. But Zachary...

I still want to be his friend, but how do I even do that? He wondered as he watched the young man, who just stared right back at him with a faint smile on his face.

"Um... I'm really sorry, Jana. I didn't mean to startle you." Zachary finally said.

Jana wasn't sure how he was supposed to respond. Anytime he got hurt in prison, he'd just attack the closest thing, or hurt himself. He had a feeling that grabbing one of the kitchen knives and shredding his arm wouldn't help him get Zachary as a friend, though.

Exactly. We need to be nice and just act normally. The voice added, making him scowl. He didn't want its input.

Zachary took a slow step back as his expression softened further, making Jana realize that the man likely thought that he was scowling at him.

"I'm just mad at my voice." He said hurriedly, stepping forward as he lifted his hands in a wait a moment gesture.

The other man's eyes widened and Jana fidgeted, stepping back and reaching up to rub at the bump on his head with worry. He pressed a little hard, trying to make the pain return and give him some courage.

You don't need the pain, Jana. We can do this!

Growling, Jana swung around to face the sink and shook his head furiously, hands gripping the metal rim tightly. "Stop talking to me! I don't need your damn help!"

His body vibrated with anger, but he tried so hard to fight it. He didn't want to nee help. For one damn minute of his life he wanted to handle things completely alone.

"Hey Jana...?"

Hearing Zachary's cautious whisper caught his attention, but he didn't trust himself to turn and face the man yet. Hell, he didn't trust himself to be in the same room with him anymore. He was just about to dart out of the room, if Zachary wasn't already doing that, when he felt a gentle touch on his right pinky where it gripped the rim of the sink.

The man's light grip immediately stole all of Jana's attention. His eyes zeroed in on Zachary's hand and his heart rate picked up. The muscles in his right arm tensed out of reflex, but he managed to keep his hand securely fastened to the edge of the sink.

"You're upset." Zachary said when Jana didn't respond for a full minute. When he didn't reply to that either, Zachary hesitantly stepped back, almost out of Jana's range of sight.

"I'll just go. I'm sorry I startled you."

Jana slowly turned as Zachary gave him his back, then headed toward the door. Don't go! He shouted in his mind, feeling his heart stumble as he, himself, stumbled forward. Before he could decide what to do about the situation, his body reacted for him, leaving Jana with Zachary in his arms, held tight against his chest.

"Don't go." Jana whispered as he felt Zachary try to shift around in his arms. He didn't want to, but he knew that the man might start to panic if he held him too tightly, so he loosened his hold just a bit.

When Zachary turned to face him, their chests brushing, he looked up. Their eyes met and Jana fidgeted, but refused to release him.

"Jana, why are you afraid?"

Afraid? I'm not afraid of you. He thought as he frowned down at the man. He could feel his new voice trying to nudge at his mind, probably asking permission to add its own input, but Jana didn't want to hear it.

"I'm not afraid of you." He said after a moment, making Zachary's lips actually turn up into a smile.

"I'm glad. But if you aren't afraid of me, why do you look so weary? Like someone might suddenly walk in here and hurt you?"

His muscles tensed again, making Zachary flinch in his arms. He refused to let his smile slip, however, making Jana relax after a moment. Get a hold of yourself. You don't need to hurt him. Just ask him to be your friend, then get the hell away from him before you snap by accident. He thought to himself, trying to get his confidence up so that he could do just that.

"Um... would it be alright." Zachary paused until Jana tilted his head slightly, clearly curious to hear what else he had to say. "Can I give you a hug, Jana?"

Immediately, Jana backed up until his back hit the wall beyond the refrigerator. When he realized that Zachary had followed him, only stopping a foot or so away, his palms began to sweat with nerves. When the other man didn't say anything, Jana realized that he was still waiting for an answer to his question.

Jana, please.

The new voice returning didn't make Jana happy, but since it wasn't trying to physically push him into anything, he just ignored it and slowly slid down the wall until he was sitting on the cold tile floor. When Zachary joined him, squatting down, Jana actually felt a chuckle slip from his lips.

This guy can tell that I'm fucked up. I know it. Yet he's not running or pushing.

"How about we make a deal? I know something that you can't refuse." Zachary said after the silence stretched on to near awkwardness.

Curious, Jana tilted his head, silently asking the man to continue.

"I'll trade you one hug for one of my amazing, no crust, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches."

The laugh that slipped from Jana's lips after Zachary had finished speaking surprised even himself. Of all the things he thought the man would say, it sure as hell hadn't been a sandwich offer. Without really allowing himself to think further into the offer, Jana opened his arms wide and then wrapped then around Zachary when the slightly shorter man wrapped his arms around his neck.

Having the man's arms around his neck made Jana uncomfortable, but the actual feeling of another person touching him, giving a damn about him enough to be close to him. It felt good. He'd only ever felt such a thing from Domino, but the man wasn't there and he wasn't going to be for at least another week.

It's okay. Zachary is just being sweet. His new voice said, making Jana shrug and hug the man tighter as he tucked his neck against Zachary's.

"Hey Jana?"

He didn't want to answer the question, but he realized that if he wanted a friend, he'd have to at least respond.

"Yes?"

Zachary took a deep breath, then blew it out to ruffle Jana's hair before speaking. "Can I be your friend?"

Jana's arms gave Zachary another squeeze before he felt his lips twitch up into a small smile.

"As long as I get my sandwich." He replied, his tone lighthearted for the first time that he could remember.