In His Eyes Chap.10

It's short, i know, but it had to be out before i can write the rest. You guys know the whole shabang, right? Vote and Comment! xD

~Shax <3

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In His Eyes Chapter 10.

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The next two weeks passed uneventfully. I noticed that Micah was acting weirdly, like distant towards me. I didn’t want to read too much into it since I may have been making things seem bigger than they were. But now I was sure something was the matter.

Before, when I would kiss Micah, he would kiss me back almost not letting me go. Now, his kisses seemed almost distant and were always quite short.

“What’s got you spacing out, man?” Chris asked as we sat back with a couple of beers.

Things at the studio had been going alright ever since Charles came into the picture. Nick had been royally pissed and swore that things wouldn’t end like that. I haven’t heard from him or seen him in three days.

“Micah’s acting weird,” I finally said out loud.

“Weird? How?”

I leaned forward, “Alright, get this. A few days ago, Micah and I…” I glanced at Chris and noticed that he was smiling eagerly. “I’m not telling you the details, dude.” I said glaring at him. He looked a bit disappointed.

“Anyway, we were getting dressed and I mentioned that he looked like my little brother more than my boyfriend… from then on, he has been acting sort of distant. It’s like he has his head in the clouds or something.”

Chris rubbed his chin, “Are you s-“

I cut him off, “I’m not telling you anything that happened between us, Chris.” I gulped half of my beer, giving him a glare.

“Fine, dude, calm the fuck down.” He raised his hands in the air and rolled his eyes. “Did you do anything else?”

I looked at him like ‘what the fuck dude’ and he just laughed, “I mean, like did you kiss him or nudged him or something?”

Did I? I was trying to remember when it clicked, “Ah, I pulled his hood over his head and ruffled his hair. What does that have to do with anything?”

Chris looked at me with wide eyes, “why you do that for!” He punched me on the arm and shook his head.

“Am I missing something here?”

“Paul used to do that to him. I guess he still remembers.”

I raised a brow, “Who is Paul?”

Chris face palmed his forehead as he shook his head and mumbled something I couldn’t hear.

“Who’s Paul, Chris?” I repeated slightly dreading what he was going to say.

Chris sighed, “Paul was Micah’s last boyfriend.”

My jaw clenched as I felt jealous course through me, “Why did they break up?”

Chris glanced at me and sighed in defeat, “Micah’s going to kill me for this.” He hesitated, “They broke up around three years ago.”

“Chris, I didn’t ask you when they break up. I asked you why they break up.” I could feel myself growing angry the more Chris hesitated.

“Micah cheated on him.”

My chest ached and something inside of me broke. I stayed quiet for a bit, “How long?”

“What you mean?”

“How long did Micah cheat on Paul?” I was staring ahead.

Chris bit his lip. If it had happened only once, then I was just going to drop it and talk to Micah about all of this. I’m sure he would tell me why he cheated on the guy. Something told me that it was more than once, though.

“Chris…”

He sighed and looked down, “Paul and Micah met at convention. They clicked instantly. Micah seemed happy, but I guess he wasn’t. He confided in me what was going on and I told him he had to stop, but I guess Paul found out right after he talked to me.”

My body was starting to feel numb, “How long did Micah…”

“I’m not sure about how long, but I’m guessing it went on for more than four months. Paul and Micah were together for two years-“

I could feel my eyes widen and then I stormed out of the studio. I could hear Chris yelling after me but I didn’t listen to a word he said. Micah had cheated on his last boyfriend.  He had been blind already, which meant that his disability wasn’t an impediment. I clenched my fist and punched the stone wall I was leaning against. “Fuck!”

I could deal with anything. Jealousy, bad attitude, insecurities, but cheating is one I cannot handle. All my insecurities I had from when I was with Nick came rushing down on me. Before I knew it, I was parking outside the library.

I could see Micah laughing with someone through the window. The guy was a bit older than I was and he seemed to be holding onto Micah’s shoulder. Something inside me told me that Micah wasn’t doing anything, but my brain ignored it and I was storming inside the library before I could think twice about it.

“Micah, we need to talk.” I glanced at the man and glared at him. He seemed uncomfortable and walked away. Micah looked worried but at the same time annoyed.

“What’s the matter, Dimitri?”

“I already told you, I need to talk to you. Come outside,” I walked away without waiting for Micah. Seconds later, Micah was standing outside with me. I was pacing in front of him. From the corner of my eye, I saw the older guy staring out the window with his phone attached to his ear.

“Was this all a joke to you? Huh?” I didn’t stop pacing.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Micah sounded alarmed now.

“Was it not clear to you that I wanted a lifetime by your side?”

Micah reached out but I flinched away, “Dimitri, calm down.”

“Don’t tell me to fucking calm down!”  The older guy walked out of the library and was now standing beside Micah.

“Is there a problem here?” He was resting his hand on Micah’s back and I growled.

“Nothing’s the matter, Josh. Please go back inside.” Micah said smiling a bit at Josh’s direction.

I clenched my jaw as I fought the urge to punch the guy on the jaw.

“Do you even love me? Or were you just playing along with my feelings all this time?”

Micah’s eyes widen and the grip on his cane tightened.

“Dimitri, what in the fuck is you talking about? Of course I love you, why else would I be with you?”

I chuckled humorlessly, “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe for a fuck, but we haven’t fucked have we? Let me guess, that’s what Josh’s for.”

Micah’s jaw clenched, “Fuck you, Dimitri.” The corners of his eyes were filling with unshed tears as I saw his hands tremble a bit.

“Oh, please, Micah. Stop acting like the fucking victim here. When were you going to tell me that you hook up with guys and then cheat on them? Huh? When?!” I yelled the last part, my voice breaking.

Micah gasped and his cane fell out of his hands. He reached forward and once he knew how far I was from him, Micah raised his hand and slapped me as hard as he could. My cheek stung as I tasted the metallic taste of blood in my mouth.

“Apologize to me this instant, Dimitri. I don’t know who the fuck told you that or what the fuck they said, but I will not put up with your bullshit. Leave your fucking insecurities behind and stop being so god damn stubborn. Understand that I’m nothing like Nick, for fuck’s sake.”

I laughed, “Insecure? Please, Micah, I’m not the one who can’t even fucking have his hair ruffled by another person without remembering the ex he cheated on. And you’re right, you are nothing like Nick. You’re worse than him. You let me fall in love with you without telling me that small detail of your life.”

I got close to Micah and said in his ear, “You knew from the get go that cheating is something I do not tolerate. You knew what happened between Nick and me. So don’t come and tell me that you and Nick are nothing alike. Neither of you cared about my feelings while you two went around fucking I don’t know who; once a cheater, always a cheater, right? So, fuck you, Micah.”

Micah pushed me away and I almost lost my balance. He had tears streaming down his eyes and so was I. Before today I would have enveloped Micah in my arms until he stopped crying. But now I felt numb. Micah had cheated on his ex the same as Nick had cheated on me.

“Yeah, I fucked up the last relationship I was in and I truly regret it. IF I could have fixed it, trust me I would have. But that is the past, Dimitri, and this is the present. I’m not the same as I was back then. I hurt someone I loved dearly and I swore I wasn’t going to do it again. When I met you, I knew you were in pain.”

Tears were streaming down his cheeks, “I wanted to help you as a friend but the more we got to know each other, the less I saw you as a friend. I love you, Dimitri. I truly do, I know that my disability makes people want to protect me, but for once I wanted to protect someone else. I wanted to protect you but the closer I got to you, the more you pushed me away.”

I scoffed.

“It’s the truth, Dimitri. Every time I tried to put down the wall around you, the more they went up.”

“It was the same for me,” I said without any emotion.

“Granted, we were both in pain. But now, here we are. I love you, Dimitri, but your insecurity is killing me. I wanted to be the one to tell you what had happened in my last relationship, but I guess someone beat me to it. I’m sorry but I’m even sorrier that I wasted my time with you.”

My eyes widen as I stared back at Micah.

“I’ve tried to understand what it means to love through your eyes, and I was amazed yet terrified. I don’t want to walk around thinking that you’re out with someone having a good time. That’s what you do, or at least what you will be doing if we continue with this relationship. I have tried to show you the world through my eyes, but you seem to not want to. You seem reluctant when I tell you to close your eyes and just listen to the world around you.

Images of Micah telling me to close my eyes and listen to the birds sing or feel my way through my own studio popped into my head. I had thought that it was fascinating but stupid at the same time. He had been a bit sad afterwards but I apologized and tried it. It was weird to me, but now I understood why he had been doing that.

“You’re still hurt about what happened with Nick even though it’s been a while. I love you and I will be here waiting for you until you’re ready to be in a relationship. For now, though, I think its best we moved on with our lives.”

My jaw dropped as I dropped to my knees. I had come here to break up with Micah and in reality he was breaking up with me.  I heard him walk away and I tried to pull myself together. This wasn’t it.

As I listened to Micah, I realized that I had exaggerated with the whole cheating thing. I had said some things that I would have never said if I was in my senses. The more Micah talked, the more I realized that he cheating wasn’t that big of a deal anymore. Like he had said, it was all in the past. I was still hurt about the whole deal with Nick, but comparing Micah to him was the worst thing I could have done. Micah had said he loved me and that he would wait.

I got up to my feet and with one last glance at Micah’s direction, I walked away. I climbed into my car and pulled away from the library. I needed to get my shit straight and begging Micah to take me back right now wasn’t what I needed to do.

Micah and I hadn’t been that long in a relationship, but this break up had hurt me worse than when Nick and I broke up.

“I will get him back,” I whispered to myself as I sped down the freeway away from town.

The question here was how long is Micah willing to wait till I’m the man he deserves?