In His Eyes Chap.12

Heeey, i know it has been a while since this was updated. Sorry for the delay! I hope this chapter is to your liking, though. It is written in Micah's point of view. Vote and comment, my darling!

~Shax <3

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In His Eyes Chapter Twelve

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It’s been a month since Dimitri and I broke things off. At first I thought that it would last a day or two or ever weeks, but a month later I realized that it was really over. Chris scolded me about the break up and I just listened. I didn’t understand why everyone was looking at me like I was the bad guy. I admit that it hurt me deeply to hurt Dimitri like that, but I wasn’t going to be part of his pity party anymore.

Dimitri didn’t need someone to hold his hand and walk him through the bad times. He needed someone that would be willing to speak up and put him in his place from time to time. But of course no one understood that and now I was the bad guy in all of this.

Including Dimitri’s brother in law thought I was the worst at first. He had come to my house the day after the fight I had with Dimitri. I didn’t know who he was until he told me himself. I guess I had never actually asked Dimitri to introduce me to his loved ones.

I felt like an ass for that.

Drake had come to my house to talk to me, but I could sense that he wanted to yell at me more than actual conversation.

“I know why you’re here, so let me cut to the chase. Dimitri needed someone to tell him off.”

I could feel his disagreement from across the room. Being blind gave me the advantage of feeling the aura around someone. I could tell when someone was mad, sad, or even remotely turned on. That day at the library, Dimitri had been a mixture of emotions but one I could pin point rapidly was the sadness he felt. It crushed my heart but I had to do what I had to do.

“Dimitri needs someone to love him and be there for him. If that person’s not you then-“

I cut him off, “I love Dimitri. I really do love him; it was like love at first sight, or in my case at first encounter.” I chuckled to myself as I remembered how we met and his first reaction to me being blind.

I heard rustle of clothing and I assumed Drake was taking off his jacket. He was making himself more comfortable, which meant this talk was going to be a long one.

“If you love him, then why did you break things off with him?” His tone was challenging but it didn’t scare me.

I sat back on the couch and sighed, “Dimitri was hurt because of what happened with Nick. I know it happened a while ago, but you better than anyone must know that your brother-in-law can hold grudges better than anyone.”

“That’s true, but still… you should have fought for him.”

“I didn’t know there was a competition to win him over.”

We were quiet and I could tell that he was trying to think of what to say next. Drake seemed like a nice guy, he cared about his family or else he wouldn’t be here practically telling me off. I smiled and leaned forward, placing my cane on the floor next to me.

“Drake, I know Dimitri and trust me that he needed some time alone. His wounds hadn’t healed yet and although I wanted to be the one to heal them, I wasn’t going to put myself in the line of fire. He’s got issues and so do I, so this time apart might help us understand what it is we both want.”

Drake sighed, “He’s the same as his brother. Micah… do you really love him?”

My heart fluttered in my chest at Drake’s question. Did I really love Dimitri? If I didn’t then I wouldn’t be so heart broken at the moment.

I wanted to cry and scream that I loved him with all my heart that I wanted him back, that my heart was breaking as the minutes passed and Dimitri wasn’t by my side.  I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded.

“I do love him.”

Drake sighed again but this time is a content sigh. He believed me and I was thankful for that.

“So what are you going to do to get him back?”

I bit my lip as I stared ahead. Even though I couldn’t see, I could picture what was in front of me. I knew there was a large window in front of me because I could feel the warmth of the sun. I pictured the front yard beyond the window and the sound of the cars driving by further beyond.

“If Dimitri comes back to me, I will be the happiest man alive. If he decides that being apart of the best thing for both of us, then I wish him happiness.” My voice broke at the last word.

Could I really let him go like that? The thought made my heart ache. I took a deep breath and swallowed the tears that threatened to spill.

Drake came over to chat a few times a week. He brought his kids over sometimes too and they seemed to like me. I wish I could see them. See their smiling little faces and be able to play with them rather than just sit there and laugh. Their laughter made my heartache lessen but it never disappeared.

Damien came once or twice but I could tell that he held me responsible for his brother’s disappearance. I didn’t blame him, though, because I felt at fault for that.

“I can’t believe he left just like that,” I heard Damien whisper to Drake. I had excused myself to go get something to drink and when I came back I heard them whispering and didn’t want to interrupt.

“Calm down, Damien. Maybe it was for the best.” Drake whispered back.

Damien scoffed, “Dimitri loves that man, Drake, and he… he broke my brother’s heart without a thought. Do you really think Dimitri would have left just like that? Micah must have told him something that made him not want to be here anymore. I just wish he would fucking call us.”

I leaned against the wall, covering my mouth so they wouldn’t hear me sob. Had my words really chased him off like that? I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I walked back to the kitchen and slid down the wall, sobbing quietly.

I stopped calling Drake and he stopped coming over. He wanted to know what was going on, but all I said was that I was going to be busy for some time. I hoped he would believe me even if my voice cracked as I said ‘goodbye’ to him. I had been happy to share time with Dimitri’s loved ones. It made me feel closer to him somehow, but it had all been an illusion.

A week went by and I stopped going to the library altogether. Josh had come over a couple of times to check on me but my gloomy mood scared him off. I stopped caring about meals, showers, and doctor’s visits. Chris had threatened to kick my front door down but I ignored him. It had been a month since Dimitri walked out of my life.

Correction, it had been a month and a half since I kicked him out of my life. Chris could blow up the house for all I cared.

“Micah, are you there?! Open the door, Micah! I know you’re there, so open the god damned door!” I heard someone screaming from the gate.

I was taking a nap in the living room. The sun was shinning through the window, making my skin feel warm. I chuckled a bit realizing that the ray of sunshine was the only thing keeping me warm in this house. Every room, corner, and space in this house felt cold… abandoned.

“Micah, don’t make me jump the fucking gate!” There goes that screaming again.

I groaned as I struggled to get up from the floor. I must have rolled off the couch in my sleep. Nightmares made it impossible for me to sleep in my room so I was now sleeping in the living room; somehow, knowing that the window was the only thing separating me from the outside world made me feel safer somehow.

I stumbled as I walked towards the door, hitting some of the furniture on my way. Someone was banging on the gate like a mad man. Chris would just call me and cuss me out. He wouldn’t come and make a fool of himself; unless it wasn’t Chris the one banging on my door…

My breath caught in my throat as I pushed myself off of the wall and practically ran out of the house and to the gate. I tripped once or twice but I didn’t stop.

Please, God, if you can hear me… let it be him.

I felt around the door, trying to find the damn lock and chuckled nervously when I found it and opened the door. As soon as the door was opened, someone pushed their way in and enveloped me in their arms. Strong arms wrapped themselves around me, tightening and pulling me closer to whoever it was. Tears dwelled in the corner of my eyes as I wrapped my arms around the man hugging me. My heart was beating faster than ever as I tried to pull him closer to me.

“Micah, I thought something had happened to you. I was so worried.”

My heart stopped and I dropped my arms to my side. It wasn’t him. These arms didn’t belong to him. Tears ran down my cheeks as I tried to pull away.

“Are you ok? I was so worried when Chris told me you hadn’t answered his calls. I tried calling but you wouldn’t answer. I was so close to calling the police, thinking that something had happened to you.” The man caressed my face and I closed my eyes.

“I’m alright, Xavier.” Tears still ran down my cheeks.

Xavier wiped my tears away and I could feel concern emanating from him.

“Are you sure?”

I nodded and pulled away, wrapping my arms around myself. I tried to keep the warmth I had felt when the thought that Dimitri had come back rushed through me, but now it was gone and with it my hopes.

“Come on; let’s get you cleaned up and out of here.” He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me inside the house. My mind was a cluster of emotions that I didn’t realize that he was now pulling my sweater off of me.

“What… what are you doing?” I tried to push him away but he just yanked the sweater off.

“Micah, you’re a mess. I’m going to help you bathe and then we’re going to my house. I’m not leaving you alone in this house.” His voice was firm and I didn’t argue. What was the point? It wasn’t like Dimitri would be coming back any time soon. The mention of his name brought tears to my eyes again.

Xavier helped me out of my clothes and carried me to the bathroom. He placed me on the toilet seat as he prepared the bath. I felt the warm steam surround me as the water warmed up. Xavier picked me up and placed me in the warm water. I relaxed instantly into the water, letting it warm my corpse-like body. Xavier washed my hair as I sat in the bath tub. My mind was elsewhere that I didn’t notice he was talking to me.

“Huh?”

“I was saying that I can’t believe he left you here just like that.” He was washing my back now.

My tummy did a painful summersault at Xavier’s words. I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. I needed to hold myself together or else I felt that I would shatter very soon.

“It wasn’t his fault.”

Xavier scoffed as he massaged my shoulders, “Micah, stop defending him. He knew that leaving you alone would crush you. He walked out of your life without looking back. You opened yourself to him and he betrayed you. I bet you that he’s not even thinking about you. Maybe he’s happy with someone else already and here you are destroying yourself.”

Xavier’s words were like daggers, stabbing my heart multiple times. I sobbed as he continued talking, my body shaking with every heart breaking sob that escaped me.

Were Xavier’s words true? Had Dimitri moved on?

My mind was telling me that it was possible that Dimitri had forgotten about me already. The fact that I’m blind must have been an issue for him since the beginning and now that he found himself free of me… I didn’t want to think anymore.

My heart said one thing while my mind said another and all I could do was tighten my arms around my knees to keep from shattering into a million pieces.

I felt Xavier wrap his arms around me and hold me as I cried. He held me until the water turned cold and I needed to get out. The feeling of the fuzzy bath towel was of some comfort as I was enveloped in it. Xavier carried me back to my room and placed me on the bed. The way he seemed to care had me smiling a bit. He was being gentle when he had bathed me and now as he helped me get dressed. Once I was dressed, I sat on the bed. Xavier was standing somewhere near me, putting my clothes away I guess. He sat next to me and sighed, pulling me close to him. He was warm and I leaned against him.

“Thank you, Xavier. You’re such a good friend.”

I felt him stiffen but he was back to normal before I could say anything.

“Come on, let’s get you packed.”

I shook my head, “It’s not necessary, I can-“

“Nonsense, you’re going to come and stay with me for a while until you’re back on your feet. Leaving you alone would be the biggest mistake I can ever make.” He opened a door, my closet I guess, and dumped something heavy on the bed. I reached out to touch it, my luggage. I stayed quiet as he packed my clothes into the bag. Once he was done, Xavier put on my shoes and grabbed my hand.

“Let’s go.” He pulled me off the bed and dragged me out of the house. I was waiting by the car as he locked the house. Xavier came over and opened the passenger door and helped me climb in. He patted me on the shoulder as he closed the passenger door and a few minutes later I felt as he turned on the car and drove off. I had never been to Xavier’s house but I trusted him.

Living with Xavier was something that had never crossed my mind. I knew that he had feelings for me and no matter how much I told him that I couldn’t respond to his feelings, Xavier never gave up. Now that I was in his house, his feelings were becoming a bit suffocating. I understood that he wanted me to be happy and I thanked him when he helped me a week ago, but now it was different. The first two days that I was here, things were relaxed and he gave me my space.

After the fourth day, I could feel something in him change. Xavier liked spending time with me and looking at me, but sometimes I could feel him staring at me even when I was in the guest room and the door was supposed to be closed. I had talked to Chris about it and he had told me I was overreacting. He had told me that I should be thankful that Xavier had saved me from myself. I knew that he was right, I was thankful, but something made me feel uneasy. I tried to ignore it and continue with how things were, but it was becoming harder to have alone time in his house.

A week later I started to realize that something was off. I could feel someone staring at me when I was in the shower or when I was in the guest room. Xavier was having mood swings more frequently and I felt scared. His house was still unknown to me so I relied a lot on him and it seemed to please him. Whenever I wanted to do something alone, Xavier would get mad and I felt threatened.

Even with Xavier making me feel uneasy, I owed him for saving me from myself so I couldn’t leave him. I had tried to leave once and my friends called me ‘ungrateful’ which made me feel worse than how I already felt. Xavier was a hero in their eyes. He had saved the heart broken blind guy from hurting himself and now everyone pretty much worshipped him. I was starting to think that Xavier was fooling us all, but then again I was known for being a bit paranoid.

Even with everything that was going on I couldn’t forget Dimitri. Two months and a week have passed since that day at the library. I keep replaying that day over and over, trying to see if I could have phrased my words differently. I had tried not to hurt him, but I had done the opposite. Dimitri was gone and no one knew where he was. The thought that he was happy with someone else pained me more than I had thought possible. Thinking about Dimitri laughing with another guy made the green eyed monster in me furious. I wanted him all to myself.

He was mine and no one was going to take him away.

A minute later I scoffed as silent tears ran down my cheeks, “No one took him away… I chased him away myself.” It seemed this was going to be another sleepless night among many.

When I woke up, something felt out of place. I couldn’t tell what it was but something in my gut told me to be careful. The blindness had given me the chance to make my sixth sense more accurate. I depended on it for many things and today it seemed to be on red alert.

It was Tuesday, which meant that Xavier would be home all day. He worked as manager in a factory and today was his day off. I had tried to call Chris and ask him if I could come over but he was busy with a meeting. Dimitri had left the studio for him to handle, so that was taking all of Chris’ free time. I tried calling some of my other friends but no one picked up the phone. Had I become a nuisance to them?

“Micah, are you awake?” I heard Xavier knock on the door and I gasped.

“Y-yeah… I’ll be down in a minute.” I pulled a shirt over my head and reached down to grab my cane. I was sort of used to walking around Xavier’s house by now but having my cane in hand made me feel safe.

I opened the door and walked down the hallway and slowly I climbed down the stairs. I hated stairs because I was already accident prone and having to walk down stairs just increased my chances of falling. I hated my luck, though. Xavier’s house had two stairwells. When you opened the front door, you had to climb stairs to get to the main house, and then to go to the bedrooms you had to climb another stairwell. Had me coming here been the best choice? It was too late to think about it.

As if on cue, my foot got stuck on the carpet and I gasped as I felt myself fall forward. With an ‘oomph’, Xavier caught me and I was face to face with his strong naked chest. A small blush covered my cheeks as I pulled away from him, but he didn’t let go. His hands held me by the waist as I tried to push him away.

“Be careful, love.” The word of endearment made my skin crawl and I sat down on the stairs.

“Where you standing there just waiting for me to fall?” I was slightly pissed that he had been there the whole time and hadn’t told me that the carpet wasn’t completely rolled.

Xavier chuckled, “Sorry I came out of the kitchen when you were about to fall. Admit it, Micah I’m your knight in shining armor.” H caressed my cheek and I pulled away from him.

He growled, “Why must you make this so complicated?” Xavier whispered and I heard him walk away. I stood up and walked down the remainder of the stairs slowly and made my way to the kitchen.

The smell of fresh orange juice and blueberry muffins made my tummy growl. I sat on one of the stools and felt my way around the table, to see where things were. I grabbed the glass that was to my right and brought it up to my nose, orange juice. I took a gulp and smiled. Next I grabbed a blueberry muffin and took a bite.

“This is delicious, Xavier.” I smiled as I finished the muffin.

“I’m glad you liked it,” he said as he caressed my cheek again. I subtly pulled away and reached for another plate and grabbed the piece of breath and bit into it.

I heard Xavier sigh and place a pan on the stove rather loudly. I jumped a bit in my seat, wishing that I could run out of the kitchen and not walk into the wall like I knew I would.

“Micah, you know about my feelings and that I would do anything for you. I could make you happy and forget about your pain.”

I placed the toast down and faced forward, “I’m sorry Xavier. We already talked about this a long time ago. I only see you as a friend.”

There was a loud crash and I gasped.

“Things can be done the easy way and everyone is happy, or we can do them the hard way. You choose, Micah. Dimitri has forgotten about you, why can’t you accept that? Huh?! He must be happy with another guy and laughing at the blind guy he left back home. Don’t you see? I’m your best choice, Micah!”

I jumped down of the stool and walked over to the dining table. I took my orange juice with me and sat down, trying to put some space between Xavier and me.

“I don’t care that he has forgotten about me, Xavier, I cannot respond to your feelings because I don’t feel any romantic feelings for you.” I gulped the orange juice and placed the empty glass on the table.

Xavier mumbled something I couldn’t hear and I didn’t press him to tell me what he had said. I could feel the anger coming off of him. All of the sudden I felt as if someone was pressing my head between their hands and squeezing. My mind felt foggy.

“What…. What’s going on?” I asked as I tried to focus. My senses felt disoriented, as if something was intercepting what my brain was telling my body to do. I felt a sudden chill run through me and I tried to get up from the chair. My cane fell to the side and I tried to reach down for it but came up empty handed.

“Looking for this?” His voice was filled with mischief. I could picture him holding my cane but I refused to reach for it. My sixth sense, although slightly foggy, told me to stay put.

I gulped and turned away from him. For the first time in my life I was glad I couldn’t see. Something told me that the sight of the man in front of me would have me in tears out of pure fear.

“I told you that things could be done the easy way or the hard way,” the chuckle after what he said had my lower lip quivering. What was going on?

“Please… I don’t feel good.” I said above a whisper as my breathing became heavy.

All of the sudden I felt extremely hot. My body felt as if it was on fire and my mouth went dry. I could feel my palms start to sweat and my breathing came out in pants.

“What…” I didn’t have the chance to finish because he picked me up by the arm; tightly gripping my upper arm and pulling me against his body.

“You didn’t want to cooperate, Micah,” he whispered by my ear as his tongue licked and nibbled on my ear.

I felt the urge to vomit as he touched me, but at the same time my body relaxed against him. When he slammed me against the wall, the low amount of air I had in my lungs came out in a rush; making me cough loudly. He ignored my almost choking and pushed himself against my defenseless body. I tried to fight him off but my body wasn’t listening to me.

That’s when it clicked. The foggy mind feeling I felt after I drank the juice, my body feeling feverish, my breath coming out in pants, the need to feel another body against mine… I had been drugged.

“What… what are you going to do?” My voice shook as I whispered. He was close enough to hear me, but I dreaded his answer.

I felt him smirk against my neck and I unwillingly moaned when I felt his teeth graze my feverish flesh.

Xavier pushed me against the wall. His hands roamed my body, caressing my flat tummy and playing with the hem of my sweats. My legs felt wobbly as I tried to push him away. He wouldn’t budge no matter how much I pushed him away. He placed his leg between mine and pressed his knee against my crotch. My body was responding to his touch even though I felt repulsed by it.

“Please… let me go.” I breathed out, pleading.

I fought him but he was too strong for me. My arms and palms pushed at his chest, trying to put some space between us. I heard a ripping sound as he pulled on my shirt and I gasped. Fear crept into the pit of my stomach and tears streamed down my cheeks. I tried to gather some strength and brought my knee up and kneed him in the crotch. His scream filled my ears and he fell to his knees and I whimpered, feeling my way around the kitchen and out the door.

I was climbing the stairs when I felt someone grab me by the legs and pull me down.

“Ah!” My hands broke my fall and I felt as my right hand broke in the process. I screamed and kicked as he pulled me down by the legs, my head hitting the last step. The drug was still running in my veins but the adrenaline of saving my life was overpowering it.

Xavier muttered something as he pulled me up and smacked me into the wall. I kicked and slapped him as he brought his hand around my throat and squeezed. I gasped for air, my feet close to a foot in the air. His other hand pulled my sweats down. I kept slapping him but he didn’t seem to be bothered by it. Xavier’s hand squeezed my throat tighter and I cried out with the little air I had and scratched him from the forehead to his jaw.

“Fuck!” He let go of me and I fell to the ground, coughing and gasping for air. I tried to get up but not being able to see and the drug still in my system made it difficult. My senses were still foggy that I didn’t feel him move until his fist connected with my jaw and I tasted blood in my mouth.

“I’m going to show you how to treat the man who saved you, you ungrateful bastard.” His punched me again, but this time I heard the crack sound as my nose broke and blood rushed out. I covered my nose and crawled away from him but he grabbed my hair and pulled me back. I cried out.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Xavier kicked me on my side and I crumbled to the floor, holding my sides. He laughed as he looked down at me. Tears and blood covered my face as I tried to move out of his way.

“Please…. Xavier… Please…” I pleaded but it fell into deaf ears as he kicked me on my side again.

“You really think he loved you?” Kick to my side.

“Did you let him fuck you?” Kick to my head.

“Answer me!” Kick to my head, again.

Xavier pulled me up from the floor and I sagged against him. I could hear my heart beat slower every time and it was hard to breath. My body felt numb as he wrapped his hand around my throat and held me against the wall.

“He never loved you. That’s why he left you. Who would love a blind guy? The only thing he felt for you was pity.” He whispered into my ear as he threw me against a door.

I felt as the door opened and there was a gasp. I didn’t know if it was me or Xavier the one who gasped. All I knew was that I was rolling down the stairs. I stopped against something with a ‘thud’ and I took a last breath before blackness enveloped me.

I was having one of the best dreams of my lifetime.

Dimitri and I were walking down a path and the smell of flowers surrounded us. The happy chirping of the birds and the sound of running water near by made me smile. I stopped on my tracks and turned to look at Dimitri. He was beautiful. His long eyelashes, his straight nose, the high cheek bones, those luscious kissable lips, and his long curly hair made my heart flutter. His hazel eyes stared into my deep blue ones.

‘I love you, Micah.’

I smiled, ‘I love you too, Dimitri.’

Dimitri leaned forward, cradling my face in his hands. He closed the gap between us and kissed me gently. I smiled against his lips and was about to say something when I heard a beeping sound. I turned around, looking for the source of the beeping. I turned to look back at Dimitri but he was gone. I looked around, feeling as panic came over me.

‘Dimitri…. where are you… please don’t leave me…’ I fell to my knees and cried. The beeping sound went off again and this time I followed it.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

It was a steady sound and then various other noises could be heard. As I became more aware of my surroundings I opened my eyes, something bright was blinding me. I had no recollection of where I was or why I was here and the feeling of panic took over me as I felt my throat close up, not letting air go into my lungs. There was something in my throat and my first impulse was to fight it.  Someone, please help me…

“Someone call the doctor! Micah… Micah, baby, calm down. Where in the fuck is the doctor?!”

“Move, sir, we need to take the tube out.” There was a lot of movement around me.

Someone took out whatever was in my throat and air rushed into my lungs. I gasped and coughed, trying to calm my heart. The beeping sound continued and I tried to match my breathing to the sound and closed my eyes. Soon I was breathing normally and I didn’t feel panicky anymore.

“Micah… Micah, please wake up, baby.”

That voice… can it be? I was quiet for a few minutes and didn’t hear his voice again. Had I imagined it?

“Micah, forgive me.” There it was!

My heart started to beat faster as I opened my eyes and tried to tell where the voice was coming from. The beeping sound was too fast like it was panicking. I tried to reach out but my right hand made me cringe in pain.

“Micah, calm down, please. I’m right here,” he said as he grabbed my left hand in his and gave it a squeeze. My body relaxed instantly and the beeping sound went back to normal.

“Dimitri,” I whispered in a raspy voice. Tears streamed down my face as I brought his hand up to my cheek.

The warmth of his hand against my cheek made me fell warm all over. He was here and I was finally safe.