Six

For me, running is therapeutic. Now, don't get me wrong. It hurts like a bitch in the beginning, but if you can manage to get past the pain, everything after feels like autopilot. It's soothing, and my mind is free of any thought or worry in the world, even if it is only for a small amount of time.

"So..." Gwen pants. "Have you gotten any ideas?"

We're in sync, left and right steps together as we make our way around the track. Conditioning for soccer doesn't start until late October, but for Gwen this is prime time because of football season, and she hates running alone.

"Not one," I confess. "I'm overthinking it."

In exactly two weeks since accepting the challenge of the mural, I haven't produced a single idea that's inspired me. Hell, the only thing I can seem to think about is homecoming, and the dance, and the pep rally tomorrow that I had to paint posters for...

"Well, what's something you wanna say?" Gwen interrupts.

I shake my head and try to focus on my breathing. What the hell do I want to say?

"I don't know..." I wipe my forehead. "Something like... be true to who you are..."

We finally reach the end of the mile and stop to catch our breath. I place my hands on my head and inhale. The Georgia heat strangles my exhausted lungs.

"Okay..." Gwen doesn't sound impressed. "Those are just words... but you have to show it. You know?"

"Yeah."

We begin walking back to the locker room, but not before a figure in the stadium catches my eye. It's Jamie, in short running shorts and a muscle shirt jogging up and down the stadium. The muscles in her legs protrude with each step and her biceps glisten...

"Is that Jamie?" Gwen asks, pulling me out of my trance.

"Looks like it."

"You missed lunch today," she starts. "But Gibbs and Darian invited her to ride with us to homecoming."

My heart threatens to burst from my chest. Why would Darian and Gibbs do that? We always went as a foursome, including whoever we decided to bring as dates! But now they had invited Jamie and thrown off the balance, and I wasn't sure how to feel about it.

"Great," I say. "That's great."

"Darian asked me to be his date."

I almost don't catch Gwen's comment because I'm stealing last minute glances at Jamie and wondering what I'm going to do about the dance this Saturday. It takes a minute for her comment to really register.

I look at her. "Wait, as in like a date date?"

She just nods, as if she's nervous for my reaction.

"It's about time he's made a move," is all I say.

"What?" Gwen laughs in confusion. "About time?"

"Darian has liked you for a while now," I confess. "Everyone knows it. He's just finally getting over his pride and doing something about it."

"But he made it seem like it wasn't a big deal..."

"Well, he's lying." I give her a smile. "He's definitely freaking out inside."

Gwen just blushes as we make it to the locker room.

As we change, I wonder if Jamie has been asked to the dance by anyone, and, if so, by whom? I want to be excited she was coming with us, but all I can think about is the underlying negative tension. All because yours truly had royally screwed up and hasn't found the courage to apologize.

But Jamie actively avoiding me didn't make it any easier.

We change in no time and begin making our way to the parking lot to leave. My mind is racing with thoughts about all I have to get done in the next few days. Then I realize I've forgotten my water bottle at the stadium.

"Crap," I express. "I forgot my water bottle."

"Okay." Gwen throws her bag into the backseat of her car. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, see you tomorrow."

Then I jog back to the track.

It remains on the track where we had started running, and I sigh in relief as I pick it up and take a sip.

"GSU?" I hear behind me.

I turn to see Jamie also drinking from her own bottle as loose strands of dark hair cling to her neck and face.

"Georgia State," I reply. "Over in Atlanna. My older sister goes there."

Jamie seems intrigued by the mentioning of my older sibling. She wipes her forehead with the back of her arm and moves under the shade of a nearby tree. Her hazel eyes glow when she no longer has to squint from the sun's glare.

"Did Gwen force you to run with her or do you enjoy self-torture?"

I can't help but release a small smile at her playfulness because it's something I miss. We haven't talked like this in weeks.

"I'm actually the motivator," I confess. "She hates running."

"You run track, or...?"

"Soccer." I watch her slim eyebrow raise. "I'm just getting a jump on conditioning season."

She smirks. "Always the overachiever."

There's a lull in the conversation. I want to say so many things to her but I'm not sure where exactly to start. I could apologize, or I could ask her if she had a date to homecoming yet. But that seems inappropriate considering past events...

"So, Gwen told me you're joining us before the dance Saturday."

She looks up from the ground. "Yeah. Darian and Gibbs kinda put me on the spot...." She pauses. "Is that okay or...?"

Cautious. She's still cautious and it's killing me inside. Why had I let her believe her presence made me uncomfortable, rather than the truth?

"It's fine," I reassure her. "The more the merrier."

"Yeah well, I'll probably be the only one without a date, so..."

Jamie doesn't have a date. I don't have a date. I'm not sure why my heartbeat speeds up at the information, because I know I won't make a move. I know we won't go together. But if Jamie doesn't have a date, then I won't go out of my way to find one either.

"Dates kinda hold you back," I lie, as if I hadn't been planning to find one before this conversation. "It's more fun with friends."

She smiles but doesn't say anything. Suddenly, I feel the need to apologize for what I had said to her the morning after the party.

"So..."

Then her phone rings in her hand and cuts me off. She glances down and types a quick response.

"And my ride's here," she says. "What were you gonna say?"

I shake my head as the apology falls from the tip of my tongue. "Nothing. I'll see you tomorrow."

She gives me a look of uncertainty but refuses to press me before walking away. I watch her disappear from the stadium as I try and deal with my rollercoaster of emotions.

We seem to be on decent terms again, and both of us are currently without dates for the dance. It has the potential to be a fun night together, and maybe I can finally apologize for assuming she would tell the entire school we had slept together at Gibbs' party.

After weeks of being uncertain if Jamie and I would ever be okay, things were starting to look up, and maybe, I could get things right on the second try.

• • •

Friday approaches quickly and I find running on three hours of sleep easier said than done. As senior class president, it's my responsibility to make sure all events run smoothly, from setting up for the homecoming dance down to making sure the pep rally was a hit. Which it was, of course, thanks to yours truly. I have no time to even think about sleep until after the football game tonight, which is a huge deal considering it's against our rivals.

"Are you on your way?" Gwen asks.

"Yes, I'm pulling up now," I answer while pressing my phone to my ear with my shoulder.

"Are your parents coming?"

"Yes." I close my car door. "They're just waiting on Alyssa. As usual."

"Ugh. I love when your sister is in town."

"Of course, you do."

Gwen and I continue the exchange for a little while longer before I hang up and hurry to the field. People are flowing in and the atmosphere feels electric. Everyone is excited with hype for the game, but all I find myself doing is searching for Jamie in the crowd.

I occupy myself with helping the concession stand and then meet with some of the yearbook crew before the game starts. It isn't until I'm making my way to the student section that I run into Jamie.

"Peyton, hey," she greets.

"Hey." My heart flutters. "I didn't know you'd be here."

She looks over her shoulder. "Yeah, I didn't think I would be either but... here I am."

I smile. "Not a football fan?"

She just shrugs.

Even though we're speaking again, I still sense underlying tension. As if she doesn't want to give me the wrong impression. I find it annoying.

"Peyton!" I hear behind me. I immediately recognize the voice but refuse to turn around. "Peyton!"

I continue to ignore the voice and hope she'll just find me later when I'm not talking to Jamie.

"PEYTOR TOT!"

I cringe at the nickname. The look on Jamie's face makes me blush. Why would she say that aloud here? Of all places?!

Jamie looks past me. "Is that...?"

"Peyt, what the hell?" Alyssa asks behind me. "Are you really ignoring me?"

I turn around. "Alyssa, why on earth would I do that?"

"Because that's what you do."

I roll my eyes at my older sister before I pull her in for a hug. I hadn't seen her in a few weeks since she had moved back to Atlanta for college and I had missed her.

"So, you do miss me!" Alyssa exclaims.

"Of course I do, you loser." The hug ends. "Where's mom and dad?"

"Talking with Gwen's parents." Alyssa silently glares behind me and at Jamie.

"Hi...?" Jamie says nervously.

"This is Jamie," I introduce. "Jamie, this is my older sister, Alyssa."

They exchange quiet "hellos" as I stand and watch from the outside. My sister studies Jamie in a way that makes me feel embarrassed.

"Chicago, huh?" Alyssa says as she points to the flag on Jamie's beanie.

"Yeah," Jamie brags. "I grew up there."

After that, Alyssa has this look of approval stamped on her face, as if Jamie not being from Branton, Georgia was a trait worth having. I swear, my sister was so weird sometimes.

"So, I'm hanging with you guys tonight," Alyssa informs. "Are we goin' to the student section or what?"

And with that, she brushes past us and heads up to the stadium. Jamie looks at me with a humorous expression.

"Peytor tot, huh?" she teases.

"Don't," I warn as my face heats up. "Only she is allowed to call me that."

Jamie smirks. "Yes ma'am."

Even though my three best friends can't join me in the stands on homecoming night, I find joy in my newfound company. Without Jamie and Alyssa, I would feel alone, despite knowing every single senior in my class. I guess there's a difference between being popular and being genuinely liked.

After a minute of getting comfortable in the stands, we have kickoff. The game is on. I watch as Darian throws pass after pass and Gibbs blocks and pummels through the opposing team. Gwen instructs her girls throughout the entirety of it, cheering on the boys and hyping up the crowd in the process. The score stays neck and neck most of the game, and after half-time, things get even more intense.

One of our receivers runs the ball in for a touchdown and the crowd cheers.

"Yes!" I shout while clapping in excitement.

"You're really into this game," Jamie says.

I look at her. "Of course I am."

"She has to be," Alyssa teases. "It's her job."

"I like football, Alyssa."

"Meh," my sister replies.

I roll my eyes. "Why'd you come to the game if you don't like football?"

Alyssa wiggles her eyebrows. "Because hot boys in tight pants, duh?"

I don't react, but apparently Jamie finds the need to make a sound of disapproval. This catches my sister's attention. I hold my breath with anticipation.

"What, you don't like that?" Alyssa asks Jamie.

"I prefer watching the cheerleaders," Jamie responds. "If you know what I mean?"

"Oh." My sister smiles. "So, you're gay."

My heart clenches in my chest at her brash comment. I cringe internally and hope she hasn't offended Jamie.

"Peyton, you've never had a gay friend before!"

"Alyssa, be quiet."

And just when I didn't think she could get any worse...

"What's it like?" My sister locks eyes with Jamie and ignores me all together. "You know, sleeping with girls? I mean, I've made out with my friends 'cause you know, alcohol, but..."

I can't help but look at Jamie. I'm too appalled to tell my sister to shut the hell up, but too intrigued not to listen to Jamie's answer. God, why is this happening?

"Uh, well I've only slept with one girl..."

My heart sighs in relief, either from Jamie's confession or the fact that she hadn't told my sister to fuck off.

"Well?" my sister presses.

"Alyssa..." I warn.

"She was older than me, and more experienced so..." Jamie pauses. "It was actually pretty great."

Pretty great? Jamie's been with someone experienced that had exceeded her expectations. The information makes my body grow hot with envy. I'm convinced it's noticeable. Jamie is out and she's happy. She's comfortable with herself.

And then there's me. A hopeful but spineless girl who's nowhere near the caliber of Jamie Kendall.

The cheering of the crowd pulls me out of my trance, but my mind is no longer at the game. There are only a few minutes left, but it feels like it'll last an eternity. Then, as if things couldn't get worse, Jacki and her squad move to the bleachers right in front of us. I roll my eyes in annoyance.

I'm torn. I should just let go of the idea that Jamie and I have a chance, because I'm not out. Jamie wouldn't be willing to sacrifice her freedom to hide again! It's selfish of me to even consider asking that of her...

"Jamie!"

I snap out of it to see Jacki and Jamie exchange smiles, which makes everything I'm feeling right now even worse. I just swallow my pain.

"Are you okay?" my sister asks. "You got really quiet."

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lie. "Just into the game."

There isn't a lot of time left on the clock and we are losing. Thankfully, we have the ball, and we just need a touchdown on this final drive. Everything is on the line. That's right. Focus, Peyton. This is what you're here to do. Enjoy the game. Not worry about Jacki, or Jamie, or your sister bringing up Jamie's sex life...

The ball is snapped. Darian steps back and looks around for a target. My heart pounds. The crowd goes silent. Even Jamie tenses up next to me.

Then the ball is in the air. I hold my breath.

It spirals over the players and far down the field. I feel my hand gripping something soft and realize it's Jamie's hand. She doesn't react, which encourages me to stay in that position.

The ball lands in the hands of one of our own and the crowd goes nuts. He dodges and jumps around opposing colors. My heart is in my throat. Then, he dives, and we score.

We had won!

Everyone goes insane. The screams coming from the bleachers are deafening. Yet, all I can think about is the way my hand seems to fit into Jamie's. It's soft, and it feels... right. Like they're matching puzzle pieces.

Her hazel eyes find mine in the moment of chaos, but she doesn't say anything. I don't either, mostly because I'm too afraid to ruin it.

"Woah," Alyssa says.

I release Jamie's hand instantly.

I turn to see what she's talking about, but notice Jacki standing right in front of us, looking at Jamie with huge and hopeful eyes. Then I read the sign her friend is holding next to her.

It reads: "Jamie, I know it's not a Cubs game, but will you go to hoco with me?"

I can't stand to watch the rest, so I leave Jamie's side and head to the exit with Alyssa.