Chapter 21: chapter 21

Sometimes we feel our decision is good and we are doing it for betterment of our family. But there might be some chances what we feel is good is actually not good for others. I thought kids will forget him and go back to the our usual life but things didn't happen the way I thought. These days it feels their energies were drawn out. All day they looked gloomy and didn't like anything I prepared for them. I bought a bicycle and tried to teach Ayush but he didn't seem excited at all. Anna also didn't like the toy I brought for her.What magic did he spelled on them! Why my kids changed so much because of him! Did presence of a elder male in a house matters a lot! I felt guilty everytime I looked at my kids. Still I couldn't take them to meet him. If they meet again then I don't think they can be separated. I thought they would take some more time to get back to normal self and tried to do things they liked a lot. I also feel Shiv's absence in this house. I still can remember those moments of my nagging to kids and his quite support to them, our rushing school hour and his helping hand, his smily face while seating at the sofa that is in my office... His puppy like innocent eyes and his innocent talks like kids after all that his handsome face is something that can't be forgotten... Everything was peculiar about him.Everything in this house and everyday activities includes his memory, do I also miss him? I should also forget him slowly. *****On that evening after work I came back home and to my surprise I found out house's main door opened. Why it's opened like this! Did anyone break into our house! But it's only evening and no one will dare to do this. I hurriedly went in and went into the kids room. But they were not there in their room. I looked for them in whole house but didn't find them. I looked outside thinking they might be there somewhere but they were not there. I lose my mind and my heart became heavy. Everything looked dark infront of my eyes. I couldn't think of anything and called Radhika. As soon as I called I couldn't even speak and only said "please... Please help me... Kids.... I don't know where they are". I couldn't speak more and started to cry.I promised Kamala that I would take care of them but how did I became so careless! I didn't even know how to ask and whom to ask for help at that time. Radhika was also far away at that time because of her personal reasons. I thought having link with neighbours and surroundings would bring nothing good, because all they do is gossip about others. And they will judge me and ask me many questions about me and my family. That was why I didn't even tried to act good to them. But the truth is I always feared if I will talk to them, then they will know me better, then they might find about my past then they will also despise me. I didn't trust anyone thinking what if one day they will leave me or betray me then I will left with nothing except a heart break. That was the reason why I couldn't call my neighbours for help at that time. But when they saw me wandering around the streets like crazy while crying, my neighbours and colony members came forward and asked me about my problem. When I said my kids are not home and they are missing, they ganged up and searched for them in every direction. One woman calmed me down and gave me water to drink. I was not in my right mind at that time and couldn't think of anything. Meanwhile Radhika came with her husband, as soon as I saw her I hugged her and started to cry like a small kid. Like a friend she comforted me and took care of me at that time. At that time a neighbour came and said our newly appointed night watchman saw two kids, one boy and one girl walking out of the colony by holding hands. When he asked them where they are going and where are their parents! They said they are going to their father. So, he didn't say anything and let them leave.What! Father! Are they gone to find Shiv! As soon as I heard it I called Shiv's NGO. When someone picked up the phone I said "can I talk to Mr Shiv, please! It's urgent".After a minute Shiv answered the phone. "Shiv, it's me Shakti. Shiv.... Shiv.. kids are gone and they said they are going to you, are they with you?" I asked. "No, I didn't see them. They are not here..." he said. "What should I do!" I started to cry while saying this. "Don't worry I'm going to look for them on NGO to house route. You take care of yourself, I will call you if I find them" he said and hung up. From his voice it seemed he must have ran to find kids. I also couldn't wait while seating there. So I also went on that route to search for them with Radhika and her husband.After searching whole street and the way it became night. And at ten o'clock of night I got a call from the hospital. "Is this Mrs Shakti!""Yes, I'm" "We are from the Sunshine hospital, your husband has been admitted here and your kids are also here with him. Please come here as soon as possible".I couldn't think of anything anymore and I didn't even want to guess anything. As soon as I hung up I said Radhika's husband  to rush towards hospital and after arriving there I saw Ayush and Anna sitting outside of the emergency room. Finally I could breath again, I ran to them and hugged them. "How could you guys  do this to me! Do you know how worried I was! I thought I wouldn't able to see you guys and die" I said with tears."Don't say such bad things mom, we are sorry. Because of us Shiv uncle got injured, if you will also get hurt then what will happen to us! My sister and I will became orphan again" Ayush said and both of them also cried a lot.Anna was very small at that time so she didn't remember anything about childcare house but Ayush remembers everything. I thought he would have forget that after these years but if it's a older or younger, old pain is something that can't be forgotten.