chapter 6

Just day before yesterday I was considering myself as the luckiest girl of this world.Now, I am the unfortunate girl of this world. I have no where to go, I have no friends or family, I don't have a roof on my head, I have no money and also nothing to eat. I didn't discharge myself from the hospital because what if they ask for money! So, I just sneaked away from there. After that I wonder around the city and I faced many criticism. Some hooligans were also after me. Like that I went into a temple to keep myself safe and slept there between beggars.This is  the only place where I thought I could stay for now. I didn't had any energy to complain God asking why he did that to me. I ate the food they gave me as prasad and I felt I have nothing left to worry about except food. It's not like anyone cares about me, it won't hurt anyone to see me like this. It's not like my family will feel sorry because I left, I left home to fulfill there wish after all. I left home for three days but no one searched for me. So, it's obvious if I got away from them they will live happily after somedays. About Omm, how is he? Is he alright? After all it's true I hurt him, he already cried a lot on that day, Is he still crying for me? What am I thinking! I'm not in a position to worry about others.What should I do now? Do I have to prove my innocence or do I live like this? What is my purpose to live this life? If so then for whom should I proof myself? I think from the beginning there was no place for me in this society. So should I go away? If I were to be gone, no one will ever search for me.My mind was full of thoughts and those thoughts were concluding one thing and that was I should vanish from this world.When I was awake from my thoughts I was already near the river beside the temple. I just have to jump from here then every pain will go away. My foot didn't stop me and I threw myself in to the river.When I was drowning my whole life flashed in front of me. I asked to God "What did I do so wrong? Why me? If you didn't wish a good life for me then you should have let me grew up in the streets, why you gave me well conditions then suddenly abandoned me? If this is your wish then taking my life is my wish". I slowly lost my consciousness inside the water but my eyes opened again and I found I was not dead. It was obvious that people there would not let me die. I took a deep breath and thought I should have gone to a vacated place. I woke up and found myself in a luxurious ward of a private hospital. What the hell am I doing here and how did I end up here! I can't even buy food for myself then how would I pay  bill here!I was wondering what happened to me then a familiar voice said "do you think you can die so easily?"It's definitely him, my heart started to hurt again after hearing this voice. I thought my heart stopped feeling anything for anyone but why his voice made me realise my emotions were not over yet?"Omm, why are you here?" I asked him with surprise. "Obviously I will be here after all I saved you from that river and let you live for two days in this luxurious ward" he said in a sarcastic tone. "You saved me! But why?" I was surprised and a glance of hope develped in my heart, I thought he might be only angry with me and if I say him the truth he can help me. But I was totally wrong."You are asking me why! Do you think I will let you die easily! You have to pay for everything you did to me" he said. Suddenly other familiar faces entered into my room and they were my so called family. They started to show their crocodile tears. If it was me from the before I would have thought they do actually care for me. But not anymore, I felt nothing at that time except feeling annoyed."Where did you go? Why did you ran away from the home? We were worried for you and searched for you everywhere" my mother said."How could you leave home like that! You shameless thing, we know you are not a good daughter but atleast you should have stayed in to repent your sins" my father said."Sister how could you try to commit suicide after doing all that?" Ambika said. After seeing their fake concern I couldn't control myself and end up laughing. "They were worried about you and is this how you repay their love and care?" Omm said. "You guys must have felt disappointed that I didn't die" I said sarcastically.Omm who was standing beside me slapped me on my face. Still I couldn't stopped laughing and even laughed more than before."Really! now you are acting crazy?" Omm said."Nope, I'm not crazy. I just didn't realise how fake you people are.Did you people were really worried for me? I never able to realise that". I said sarcastically.They all couldn't accept this behaviour of mine and they were totally shocked. I have never talked in high pitch before but when I suddenly start to disobey them they might have felt bad.I thought I should stop here after all they gave me food and  shelter for twenty five years. It might be for their selfish purpose but they did gave me a home. "You have really gone crazy after drowning in water" Omm said. I didn't reply and wanted to go away from there. But they didn't even let me go and started their victim act. My whole family and Omm degraded me while saying how bad I have done to them. It was exhausting to listen their blame and it was hard to tolerate when they act as victim, When I was the one bearer of all losses.I just wanted to go away from all those chaos but they didn't even let me die .  I lowered my head and said with a polite voice "I'm really sorry for everything. I won't interfere in your lives,so please let me leave on my own".  I said all these things and left from that room. I was not gone far and just walking along the varanda of the hospital suddenly Omm came and grabbed my wrist. "What the hell are you doing?" I asked."It also hurt me to touch your dirty body but I won't allow you to go away peacefully. You haven't paid me yet for your sins" Omm said."What do you want from me? I said sorry, I bowed to you, what the hell did you need more from me?" I asked. "You think breaking my heart, hurting my feelings will be gone just after hearing your one sorry! Who do you think you are?" Omm said."Then what do you expect from me? Omm we were in love but why don't you trust me?" I asked in anger. "So you want me to close my eyes and ears and trust you?" He said with a painful voice, I thought he can really trust me. "Omm please... Please trust me ...." I begged him.He wiped his eyes with two hands and thought for a second then said "okay, I will trust you".I was pleased and excitedly asked "really! You will trust me?" "But there is one condition" he said. "What is the condition tell me, I will do everything to gain your trust" I said. "Let's go the doctor and check you are virgin or not" he said. When I heard this from his mouth my remaining went away. So, he want to trust me by checking my character? Is this how a love should be? Every love and respect I had for him was all gone."Why are you silent? You don't dare to do this? If you will do this your character will be exposed" He said."You are right I don't want to prove my character, because I don't want to be exposed" I said with teary eyes."If you can't guarantee about yourself then how can I give guarantee for you? You are truly a slut. This prove everything was true" he said.I was walking away because I had no patience to stand there and hear his rubbish. "Where are you going?" He again grabbed my hand and didn't let me go."I'm a slut, so you should stay away from me otherwise your reputation will be affected sir" I said with tears. Is this how people truly love?