Chapter 38

Jay-la POV It had shocked her to hear Lilly call him daddy, her eyes had widened, but it was more shocking to see Nathan nearly cry.

The look on his face said it all, he had actually loved hearing it, she could see the joy on his face at just that one word. She knew right at that moment he would never let a single soul hurt them, he did love them. He loved her children… Their children.

When he had answered Lilly with ‘in his room’ she had frowned. Did he think she was just going roll over for him and do as he wanted, she still had some choices, and when her children had all looked at her when she had told him she had not agreed to them staying in the Alpha suite in the rooms he had prepared for them, it was clear not only were they all expecting it, they all wanted to.

They were going to make her stay in the Alpha suite. She could see it coming, she would be guilted into it by the big green eyes, though she would not be in his bed, she could have a room down by theirs apparently. He had offered them the Luna Suite earlier. Maybe she could stay there. It was just down the hall.

‘Not separating us from pups jay-la’ Kora piped up.

l can’t handle this yet Kora, I know what you want, how do I khow you Won’t just move my sleeping body at will into his bed?

Kora chortled at her ‘I could do that even from the Luna Suite if I wanted to.’

Jay-la sighed it was a losing battle.

‘Yes it is. Give in quickly. I want to be able to talk to my Mate.’

When Nathan told her that they needed to talk, she agreed to it, she needed answers and she wanted to keep Kora placated. Her wolf was obsessed with her being Marked and Mated, mostly because she wanted access to her Mate. Jay-la actively working on their Bond would help keep Kora happy and hopefully not steel her body to take it to her Mate. Which Kora had clearly thought about doing, it was all in her tone.

The day was long and she was very tired. Nathan had found Rae-Rae and left her and the triplets with her. Micheal had walked away from her, though the look he gave her said he felt guilty and he’d asked if he could speak with her at some point alone. Jay-la just shrugged and nodded, she didn’t really have much to say to him right now, had to much going on in her own world.

They were in Rae-Rae’s room on the first floor, just sitting and chatting. Rae-Rae was happy to be here, she’d spent the entire morning with Micheal and they’d held hands all day and she’d been a little embarrassed by other couples who seemed to have no boundaries when it came to displays of affection for each other.

Jay-la was listening to her prattle on about her time here, while the triplets were watching a movie, and then she was being woken up, hadn’t even realised she’d fallen asleep. Her eyes blinked a couple of times and finally, a face came into view.

It was her mother, Vera, all healed now and out of the hospital.

“Mum, what time is it?”

“nearly 7 baby girl, don’t you have dinner plans?”

Jay-la stared at her for a moment confused, then groaned and rolled over and buried herself back into the blanket that was covering her “I’m too tired.”

Her mother laughed “Oh you can’t play that game, Rae-Rae here says you’ve been asleep for hours.

“But I was awake all night, Kora kept me up,” Jay-la grumbled and it was true, she and Havoc running around mating all night.

Her mother poked her in the ribs. Come on get up, I brought you something to wear, and Rae-Rae said she’ll do your makeup.

Jay-la pulled the blanket tighter around her. “I don’t wanna go,” she muttered.

“Yes you do, you can’t ignore the man you’ve been in love with all your life, anymore!”

“WHAT!!” she heard Rae-Rae yell, completely surprised by her mother’s words.

Jay-la pulled the blanket over her head and tried to ignore them. She could feel the blankets being yanked on and pulled at to try and make her get up.” Yes, l can,” she said defiantly.

Her mother burst out laughing and finally pulled the blanket off of her, “get your butt up and into the shower, or you will be late.”

“What can he do if l’m late?” she muttered. Sitting herself up, nothing technically, she was the future Luna and no one could touch her.

She heard Rae-Rae giggle “Micheal always threatens to su*ck me if I’m naughty, you might just get s*cked too. Do you really love him? Nathan?”

Jay-la sighed “it’s complicated Rae-Rae.”

“No, it’s not, you told me once, you believe in love at first sight, he’s the one, isn’t he.”

Jay-la got herself up off the couch “where is the bath room? she mumbled, a shower was better than this conversation.

30 minutes later, she was frowning at herself in the mirror.

The dress her mother had picked out was, although absolutely gorgeous, a lace dress with white underlay and soft pink lace over the top. It was off the shoulder and fitted all the way down her body like a glove to her hips, then flared out slightly to give a full skirt that swished when she walked, falling to mid thigh.

Inappropriate as far as she was concerned. It was way too se*xy a dress to be wearing in front of him, Havoc had already nearly marked her this morning, and his love bite was there for all to see. Even Rae-Rae had commented on it., asked her who had given it to her while she was braiding her hair loosely.

She’d left out a few tendrils on either side of her face.

Vera had been no help. She really liked Rae-Rae. Most people did, she was a happy chatty thing, and had told her Nathan had given it to her that morning. Jay-la had glared at her mother while Rae-Rae had gasped in shock.

“He moves fast,” she’d giggled.

Vera giggled right back, every one here does, kind of our thing she’d explained to her. Rae-Rae had done Jay-la’s make-up. It was light and natural with soft pink l!pstick to match her dress. And she was wearing small white pumps, too short for her liking. She much preferred her stiletto’s, but again probably not suitable for this dinner.

“Mother, you do know this dinner is not a date, right?”

She watched as her and Rae-Rae laughed again “Goddess help me, she’s been sucked in already”

“Go and have dinner. You do remember where the private dining room is?”

“Blah blah blah,” Jay-a muttered as she left them alone.

She knew the triplets were up stairs with Nathan’s parents and that hers would be headed up there momentarily as well. They had all wanted to watch the triplets, so the four of them were going to do it.

In the Alpha suite, that way, if the children crashed out, they could easily be put to bed.

She made her way to the private dining room on the ground floor. It was in the east wing past the alpha’s office and on the way to the ballroom where all important functions would be held. The door was open when she got there. Nathan was already inside, standing with a drink in his hand, he was wearing a pale grey suit and dark grey dress shirt. Not a date, she thought to herself. Supposed to be just sorting things out over dinner.

Yet there he was with hair neatly styled, clean shaven, dressed to the nines and smelling delicious, though she knew it wasn’t cologne, it was his scent, the one that identified him as her Mate. His blue eyes moved to her, slid down over her slowly taking in what she was wearing and a smile spread across his l!ps. As his eyes reached hers she could already see the desire in them. Not a date. She reminded herself.

“You look beautiful.” his voice was soft and husky.

“I didn’t pick it, mother did,” she stated flatly, trying to ignore the way he was looking at her.

“Then I must thank her personally”, he walked over to the table and pulled out a chair for her.

Jay-la sighed “This is not a date, you know that, right,” she stated as she walked over and sat down in the chair he was holding for her.

His chuckle tickled her insides, he leaned down and murmured softly in her ear, his l!ps brushing gently on them “I know Jay-la, but it could be hmm” and then he allowed his hands to run up both her arms from elbow to shoulder, her skin sparked with electricity all the way up her arms at his touched her.

She sucked in a deep breath as she felt his l!ps press against her ear in the lightest k!ss she had ever felt. “I would love it to be a date,” he whispered to her. Then he moved away and sat down across from her.

Her heart rate was beating twice as fast as normal, and she knew she was holding her breath but could help it. Somehow she had forgotten how to exhale, he was smiling right at her, his desire for her was clear to be seen and he wanted her to see it.

That was for certain, for he was not even attempting to hide it from her.

“Breath,” he said a moment later, his voice back to normal.

She expelled the held breath and felt embarrassed that he could have such an effect on her. She’d always loved him but he’d never made her forget how to breathe before. This could be problematic.

“Not a date,” she muttered.

Heard him chuckle again “who are you trying to convince me or yourself?” he asked teasingly.

She shook her head “I need you to stop this, for a moment.”

“she looked directly at him”, l really do need answers from you.”

“I know,” he nodded “I will answer them, but I can’t help how the bond affects either of us Jay-la. It is very strong even for me, stronger than my last one, I can assure you of that.”

“So let’s start there then. What happened between you and your Mate? And when did it happen?”

He waited until the young omega girl who had just walked into the room to serve them their first course to leave and close the door behind her before answering the question.

“She was a terrible Mate, lazy, greedy and unfaithful. It ended after 3 and half years.”

Jay-la stared at him, that was not what she expected him to say, she had not known what he was going to say but unfaithful, who the hell would cheat on him. She shook her head. He was drop dead gorgeous and in bed could make you scream with pleasure all night long.

“Elaborate please,” he stared at her. “Do you really need to know how much it hurt me lay-la?”

“It’s hot about that, I don’t understand is all. Lazy greedy unfaithful? Put a little clarity into that sentence please. I understand you may not want to talk about it but… I would like to know, considering she was the reason I was banished, I think I have a right to know a little bit more than.. three words.”

He stared at her for a long moment, then nodded, “Sophia was very materialistic, refused to learn Luna duties from mother, refused to train to defend herself, refused to produce an heir, was never happy with anything I did for her, bought for her, the only thing we were compatible with was s*x. She rejected me when I cut off her access to the packs funding. I tried to fix it.

She didn’t seem to care and started flirting with any male around, ended up f*cking one only to have Havoc kill him. We were officially over a week later. l accepted her rejection and sent her back to where she came from.”

Jay-la was just staring at him, mouth open now, she had asked for elaboration and she had gotten it.

Still completely shocked by it though. She guessed that answered her question about whether he’d had children with her, no.

“Havoc killed him?” she queried after pulling herself together and when he sighed and looked like he did not want to answer it, continued I’m not worried about Havoc hurting me or the children if that is what your thinking, just curious is all.”

“He was hurting and I was in agony, he took over and when he found them together” he shrugged.

Jay-la decided to let it go. There seemed to be more there but clearly he didn’t want to talk about it.

She really didn’t know what to say at all at that point.

Picked up the glass of wine in front of her and sipped it, while quietly contemplating her next question.

She was watching him, he had not eaten anything, was just holding his fork in his hand above the seared scallops on his plate. “I’m sorry,” she said softly.

“I’m not,” he stated flatly and put his fork down, clearly his appetite was gone.

“How long have you and Timothy been together?” he asked her calmly, but there was a slight edge to his voice.

Two years” she answered simply. Honestly.

“Do you love him?”

“No,” she shook her head, “Do you want to know about him and I?”

He was tapping the middle finger of his right hand on the table next to his dinner plate, staring at the wall across the room. She recalled he only did that when he was thinking over something he didn’t know if he wanted the answer to. She would wait if he didn’t want to know that was fine.

“Is he going to be a problem? Come looking for you?”

“I doubt it, but I don’t really know either.”

“Would you have married him?” She frowned at him. “Why would you even ask that?”

His eyes turned to her “because he asked when you were going to marry him.”

“OH that, he’d been doing that for 6 months or so, it was a funny joke, and no, I had no intention of ever marrying him.”

“Two years Jay-la, I want to know what he was to you,” his tone was a little harsh, for her liking, but she guessed being that he was her mate just talking about it was painful, considering he’d obviously had to see her with him or it was reported to him.

Technically, she was still with him. There had been no breakup between them yet.

“A friend who was good stress relief;” she shrugged.

“That’s it? That is your explanation?”

“Yes, if you want all the details, I will tell you, but I don’t think you need to know them. I do not love him, I never loved him, he was just a way not to feel so lonely and unwanted.

He ran a hand over his face and through his hair, messing it up, stared up at the ceiling for a long minute, then looked right at her, “I’m sorry I made you feel lonely and unwanted Jay-la. I know this is hard for you, considering our history, but l honestly was an idiot and acted irrationally and impulsively that day. I should never have said those words to you.”

She shrugged, he couldn’t take it back, no-one could. It would always be there somewhere inside her and him. It occurred to her a few minutes later that maybe he was expecting her to forgive him, and she hadn’t. She knew at some point se would be able to, but right now she couldn’t. Years of pain and stress don’t just vanish in a matter of minutes.

The next course arrived and she saw him stare at it. He wasn’t going to eat it, it was unlikely either of them would eat at this rate. “Why did you want me to come home?” she asked after way too much silence was happening.

“Havoc demanded it, we saw you on TV and he wouldn’t let up on it. Why wouldn’t you come home or even reply to the letter?”

“Scared… figured you’d finally taken over and you and your Mate were going to punish me for hitting her that one time. I had children to protect.”

“Did you think I was so petty Jay-la, you’d known me for 20 years, went out with me for over a year, was l ever the type to hold a grudge for something like that?”

She shrugged “I had known you for 20 years, we had a fun happy fling and then, in the matter of a day, I was nothing to you, and you did banish me over it. You were a different person, couldn’t even stand to look at me that day, if I recall correctly.”

Again he ran his hand through his hair, so much like his father, but considering he had grown up learning how to be an Alpha from Blaine, it was only natural that he would pick up on some of the former Alpha’s mannerisms.

He sighed. Perhaps he’d not thought this conversation through. “If you don’t want to tallk about this, we don’t have to.”

His eyes were on her now, “We have to do it at some point, I would like to get it out of the way… it’s..

just difficult, for both of us, I see… But you’re right. I was a different person, and to be honest with you, Sophia made me a different person. I have very little patience, I anger easily and sometimes even our pack fears me, or Havoc, or both of us. Havoc can be a bit of a nightmare, though I’ll believe you heard the fight he was having with his own unit to try and get to your place to kill Timothy for touching you.

He’s pretty much been a raging beast ever since his first bond was broken so badly.”

“Oh, is that what that was about…I thought it was because there was another man hanging out with his pups.”

Nathan shook his head, “that wouldn’t set us off. You are our Mate Jay-la and a man going into your apartment with an overnight bag, Havoc did not handle it well.”

“That is completely on you. I did not know you were my mate. On that note, when did you know l was your mate?” she had wanted to know that for hours now. She knew now from all of the comments she recalled from his Alpha Unit that they all knew, that that was why they were in the city always on her.

She just hadn’t known it then.

“The moment you walked into my office” he sighed, and looked right at her, “not a good day for either of us, you were absolutely terrified of me, and Havoc’s utter rage over your injured condition, his mate so badly wounded, I could barely contain him from bursting out of me and going on a killing spree. But l believes… that is not how you took it…your fear was just increasing with every minute you were in the office, in front of us.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Jay-la sighed. She couldn’t understand it. “Did you not want us?” she couldn’t help the bit of pain that was in her words.

“Because you didn’t react to us at all, you had no idea, did you? Could not scent us because there was no Kora. And yes I wanted you, Havoc screaming and clawing in my head, wanting to claim you instantly damn near ripped out of me to mark you on the spot. He’s uncontrollable and unpredictable at times.”

“But with your fear levels, I didn’t let him. I could barely get a word out myself due to having to put so much effort into containing him… l apologise for that. How it went down. And I do understand why you were scared of me, after what you heard me say. I would never actually do that, I was just so pissed off that you kept defying me. Who in their right mind Jay-la. ignores or blatantly refuses their Alpha’s order?”

“I didn’t know why you wanted me to come home? You were the one who ordered me to leave and never come back, when I got your letter to come home…” she shrugged, “your order on me was technically still in effect.”

“I don’t believe that.” he shot right at her, a frown on his face. “The letter quite clearly requested you to come home and had my name on it, that would have overridden the previous order, you just didn’t want to.”

“Okay, you’re right, I didn’t want to, there was no way I was going to come home and present myself with my children in front of you and your Luna, a woman who hated me, a woman who would never stand for some bastard children threatening her children’s right to be Alpha to the pack. That would have put them in direct danger and I will always protect them, even from you.”

“Jay-la. he frowned at her “I would never hurt them.”

“I did not know that at the time… I had been gone 6 years and had no contact with your pack, knew nothing of what was going on.”

“You know it now, right?”

“Yes Nathan, I know you would never hurt them. I saw it for myself today,” she had, it had hurt a little to know that they had never gotten to have that, their whole lives, to only have it now.

They were probably both to blame. She guessed on that. Jay-la drained the last of her wine, and leaned back in her chair to just stare at him for a long minute “I have one more question.”

“Ask”

“Why didn’t you let Jackson or Stephen just tell me that I was your Mate?

“Would you have believed it? Honestly Jay-la.”

She thought about it for a full minute then shook her head.

“No, I would have thought it was a ploy to get me to bring your children to you, because this whole time all I thought was that you wanted them. I knew and Kora knew we were not your Mate, so what other reason would it be?”

She stood up from the table, neither of them had eaten anything, dinner was a bust and information overload. “I’m tired Nathan, my head hurts and I need to take all this in before I can decide on anything.”

He stood and, without warning, stepped over to her and leaned down and k!ssed her. His mouth was on hers, moving on hers hungrily, his hand moved up into her hair and pulled hard on her braid, her head was pulled back by the force and she gasp a little pain and pleasure at the same time.

His tongue was suddenly moving against hers, and his other hand was on her back and bringing her body hard up against his. Every fibre of her being was suddenly screaming at her to get closer, to taste him, she k!ssed him back with just as much need as he was displaying for her. She lost herself instantly, only knowing how right it felt to be in his arms to have his mouth on hers, to be k!ssed by him, her eyes fluttered closed and her hands curled into his shirt, she pressed herself against him, she missed him so much, goddess she wanted him, to be with him, for him to claim her It was all she had ever wanted.

She had no idea how long he stood there, his mouth on hers, tasting every inch of her, stealing her breath away from her, his hands gripped in her hair and grinding his body against hers and she against his in response, only that it was abruptly gone.

He’d stepped back from her and was now staring at her, his eyes so dark and filled with desire they were almost black.

She had no idea why he’d stepped back, why he’d pulled away.

“I want you Jay-la, don’t ever doubt that.. You should go now before I mark and mate you, before you are ready for it. I want you to want it, wholeheartedly want us, so I will wait.. you need to leave this room before I loose all control.”

Jay-la stood staring at him, she heard what he said, Kora was yelling at her to stay put to let him mark and mate her and she wondered if Havoc was arguing with Nathan, in the same way, he could have marked her right here and now, she wouldn’t have stopped him.

“Thank you. For knowing I am not really ready.” she nodded slowly and then turned and walked out of the room in a little bit of a daze.

He appeared to have more self-awareness than she did, way more self-control too. She was pretty certain that he knew he could have taken what he wanted right there on the dining room table, marked and mated her at will. His k!ss had been her undoing, she was never going to reject him, how could she?

He really did want her. She bit her l!p and made her way up to the Alpha Suite. She let herself in to find all four of their parents sitting there. They all turned and looked at her, stared at her to be exact, saw her mother raise an eyebrow at her.

She said nothing, just headed for the hallway where the children were sleeping. Still somewhat out of it, she couldn’t seem to shake it off, and a little confused to be truthful, it had been less than a day and she could feel she felt differently about him already. Their Mate Bond was indeed very strong. In less than a day she knew she would be his, it was just a matter of when, now she guessed.

Jay-la checked on each of the children. They were all settled in their beds and found an empty room at the end to go into. She stepped into the bathroom and glanced at herself in the mirror. It was no wonder they were all staring at her, her hair was a complete mess from where his hand had been in it.

Somewhere along the line he had pulled the entire braid out, and her hair was hanging loosely around her face, more than a little messy, her l!pstick was gone and her l!ps slightly swollen from all the k!ssing and she was very flushed in the face. It was not hard to tell they had gotten hot and heavy during dinner.

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