12 Fight

Carrie

Hours later, I still couldn’t believe that I had issued a challenge against the luna.

“What am I going to do?” I moaned as I sat on Anna’s couch with another bottle of wine.

“Well, you issued a challenge, so I guess you’re going to fight,” my ever logical Samantha said.

Anna gave her a bit of a warning expression, like she was concerned I’d get upset.

I groaned. “No, Anna. She’s right. I lost my temper and now I just have to deal with it.”

Samantha frowned. “Still, it’s understandable. I can’t believe he said that in front of you. I mean, you’re still a part of his pack, even if he’s transformed into an absolute insensitive piece of shit. It’s his responsibility to take care of his members, just as it’s our duty to respect him. I still can’t believe he was making you teach her. Of course the situation would blow up in his idiotic face. The male’s clearly thinking with his wolf, or maybe another part of his anatomy, but definitely not his brain—if he even has one, which I’m beginning to question.”

Even Anna didn’t flinch at the disrespect this time. Samantha’s rant made me feel a bit better.

I took a swig of wine. “It would have been better if she was even cut out to be luna. She’s just so... I can’t even hate her. She’s sickeningly nice, like an open book. Fighting her is going to be like kicking a pup. And the worst part is that I don’t even want the position anymore, I don’t want to be his acting luna after all the shit he said. I should have challenged the jerk alpha instead.” They didn’t bother to respond, we all knew I didn’t have the physical strength to take out an alpha.

Anna shrugged. “You could throw the fight.”

I sighed. “I’ll probably end up banished if I lose.” The alpha did not have to do so, but it almost always happened to the losers of such fights to prevent future contention.

I clung to my bottle as if it held the answer to all my problems.

“Maybe it’s for the best,” Samantha mused. “I can see what you mean about her not being luna material. Maybe there was a mistake this time.”

I scoffed.

“You were a great acting luna, Carrie. Already we’re starting to run down on a few supplies at the school. Which we can deal with, but what about if it comes to the pack clinic? We could be in real trouble some day.”

I sighed. “I told Heidi to do that.”

“My point, exactly. She might grow into the position in time, but you’re here now. Maybe you’re meant to fight this challenge and win.”

“Maybe,” I said mournfully. The prize of having to deal with Dane for the rest of my life seemed like a nightmare now. He wasn’t going to be more reasonable once I stole his mate’s position. And I wasn’t stupid enough to believe that he would suddenly want me back just because she wasn’t luna anymore. I’d be luna in name only, and I’d have the constant drama of the alpha’s mate to deal with. Why had I said something so stupid?

I leaned my face down in my hands and groaned.

“You’ve been a good luna these last few years,” Samantha said.

“Acting luna,” I corrected.

“You were a luna in every way but the mate bond, Carrie. The pack needs you. Forget about the jerk alpha, just think about the pack.”

“Fine,” I agreed and returned to the bottle.

“Good,” Samantha said, and Anna nodded her agreement. Then my best friend plucked the bottle from my hand.

“Hey!” I tried to grab it back, but she was too coordinated.

“Now, you’ve got to get training.”

“No, I don’t. Give me that back, Sam.”

She gave me a stern look. “The alpha’s already got his mate training, and you’re out of shape since you spend so much of your time in an office lately. Let’s go.”

I glared at Samantha.

“We just don’t want to lose you,” Anna added.

How could I argue with that? I gave up my attempt to reclaim my bottle and pushed off her couch. “Okay. I’ll train.”

—————

It was a shame that Samantha already loved her work in the clinic, because she would have made a fantastic drill sergeant. My ill-conceived challenge against the luna was set for the day of the full moon, the traditional time of challenges when our wolves were at their strongest. That gave Heidi and I both two weeks to prepare.

I was glad I did what Samantha had ordered, because by the time I dragged myself back to Madeline’s home every night, I was exhausted, and every morning I woke with a whole new compilation of aches and pains.

The woman who I had once merely dismissed as an eccentric pack member turned out to be a pillar of support. Besides giving me a place to stay away from the furious alpha and way to avoid the pack house, she fed me and listened while I talked to her as if we were old friends. I supposed we had a bond deeper than others in the pack, since we were both the lonesome extras in the world of mates.

“You don’t have to worry so much,” she assured me as I ate my breakfast the day of the full moon. “Most people in the pack are sympathetic to you, even if they don’t want you to beat the alpha’s mate. You did a wonderful job as acting luna, I don’t think the pack was ever so organized before you took over. Already they’re feeling the pain with the gamma trying to take care of everything you used to do until the challenge is over. I don’t think anyonen will be happy if he banishes you, if you somehow happen to lose. I’m sure you’ll win, though.”

I nodded. I had heard through the grapevine that Heidi’s fight training was going only marginally better than her luna training had gone. I was even more glad I had listened to Samantha. Now that I was in better shape, it should be easier to take her down without hurting her too much.

“I wonder, if I win, if I could just pass the title back to her,” I mused. I wanted to stay in the pack, but every time I caught a glimpse of Dane my feelings for him died a bit more. My wolf was still angry and was more agitated than ever with the full moon upon us, but overall I was feeling more and more resigned. I just wanted to be able to keep distance between me and him.

“Hmmm... I’m not sure that anyone has ever tried that,” Madeline said.

“I let my wolf get away from me.”

“It happens to the best of us.”

“Not usually with such disastrous consequences.”

She laughed. “Oh, sometimes. And things might just work out yet, Carrie.”

I smiled. There was something about her and the peace she had with her lot in life that made me believe it might be possible for me, too. With little likelihood of finding my mate, if he was even alive, and my feelings for Dane failing, it seemed her future might be the best I could hope for. At least it wasn’t as depressing as I had once imagined it might be. Madeline had a career, friends both in and out of the pack, and was content with her life.

I finished my meal and pushed back from the table, rinsing my dishes in the sink. “Well, I had better go and get ready.”

“Me too. I intend to be in the front row.”

—————

I made my way to the training grounds where the challenge was going to be held. My wolf was fighting to get out, and I supposed it was lucky for her that Heidi had chosen to fight me in her wolf form, because she would have her opportunity.

It wasn’t that lucky for Heidi, though, because I would have difficulty holding my wolf back considering my wolf viewed her as a territory intruder. The full moon was not making it better, either.

I got there before Dane and Heidi, so I looked at the crowd while I waited and tried to push back my swirling feelings of shame at having been so foolish as to issue a challenge in the heat of anger.

I was actually a bit surprised at the lack of obvious anger directed at me. People weren’t happy, but I sensed at least some of them understood, at least a bit, like Madeline had said.

Before too long, I noticed my friends wind in, along with my parents. They all seemed quite worried, and I tried not to let their feelings affect me. I didn’t need the nervousness of my loved ones, I didn’t need the rage of my wolf. I forced myself to breathe deeply, in and out, until I felt a bit more calm.

That feeling was interrupted by the arrival of Dane and Heidi. He looked stony in his anger, and she looked like a startled deer. My guilt resurged at the sight of her slight trembling, like I was the worst bully.

Hopefully her training went better than I heard it had so that she at least stood a fighting chance against me. I doubted the understanding the pack seemed to have for me would extend to me slaughtering a helpless young woman.

Figuratively. I was not going for the kill, even if I could get away with it.

Dane walked to the center of the training yard and both Heidi and I followed him, taking our places at opposite sides.

He spoke calmly and confidently, but there was an undercurrent of anger in his voice. “As you’re all aware, today you’re here to witness the challenge for the title of Luna of the Greenwoods Pack. The fight continues until either party gives up, is forced to submission, or dies. Do you understand?”

“I do, Alpha,” we both responded almost in chorus.

“Then, good luck.”

I knew his last words were not directed at me. He walked from the field.

The fight had begun, but neither of us moved for a long moment. I simply stared at her, and then I deliberately began removing my clothing and changed into my brown furred wolf form. She did the same, and I heard Dane growl from where he had gone to observe the fight. Of course he wouldn’t want anyone to see his mate unclothed. He had been a bit jealous when it came to me, but never to that level of possessiveness.

Even though I cared less about him each day, it still stung. I really had loved him and now the memory of that dedication made me feel like a fool.

My wolf pushed away my sentimentality. She wanted blood, and I would allow it, but only a bit. I wasn’t going to give up because there was no future in that for me, so my only option was to force her into submission.

It wasn’t going to be easy.

I stalked forward, daring her to make the first move. She was a pretty wolf, very light grey fur that was almost white. She was a bit smaller than me, but I couldn’t let myself get too overconfident. Even small wolves could be scrappy fighters if pushed, and I was sure Dane had tried to teach her every trick that he could think of.

I inched closer, paw after paw, keeping my eyes trained on hers until finally, she lunged.