20 Scars

Carrie

That night, Jason and I lay together, both lost in our own thoughts. It was not awkward, just peaceful. He stroked my back absently, while I tried to organize my plans for the next day in my mind. I was pretty sure I could shave off some expenses if I started digging around, freeing up resources for other needs.

Jason’s voice broke me from my thoughts. “Since I met you, I’ve thought a lot about what I should have said differently in those first moments.”

Was that what he had been thinking about? I had lost my anger about that around the moment he had marked me and proved how serious he was. I was curious, though. “And what have you come up with?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?” That was anticlimactic.

“I would have said nothing. Instead I should have picked you up and carried you to my bed. It would have saved a lot of time. We could have talked about everything afterwards.”

I poked him, and scowled jokingly. “That probably would not have gone as well as you’re imagining it would have.”

“No? I could probably make you do anything I wanted, babe.” Darn that cocky handsome face, he probably could. But there was no reason I had to admit that.

“I think you might be mixed up. It’s I who could make you do anything I wanted.”

“Well, that’s true, too.”

I smirked. “It is.”

“Yes. But my shock made you feel unwanted, and that wasn’t what I meant. I should have carried you off like a caveman.”

“I think you’re underestimating how irritated I would be if you did that.” But he was right. His original obvious reluctance had reopened my barely healed wounds. It had been so easy to believe I was undesirable and that he didn’t want me.

It was a lot harder to believe he might not want me now that I was in his bed with his mark on my neck and a pleasant ache between my thighs.

“I bet you would like that. I should try it.”

“It’s different now.”

“I don’t hear you saying no, Carrie.”

I should have denied it, but I didn’t want him to think he shouldn’t push his luck and see how far it would get him. I could already picture him grabbing me and carrying me off to somewhere private. It didn’t seem like a bad thing.

The steadiness of our passion was something I had not experienced before. He was always one touch away from wanting to rip my clothing off, and I liked that. It wasn’t so orderly and planned like with that mistake I had made.

Maybe, just maybe, I could see why Asshole Dane had been unwilling to give up on Heidi to keep his promises to me. What would I have done if I had been the one to find Jason first? How could I have let him go? Even if I had, I would certainly have pined for him for the rest of my life.

Still, I was angry about everything else. He had been an insensitive asshole, and there had been no need for that.

“What’s bothering you, babe?” he asked.

I could have groaned. “Just stuff from the past.” I still was afraid to tell him about everything.

“I wish you would tell me, Carrie. Would having it out there really make it worse?”

“Maybe.” I didn’t want to see his disappointment so I didn’t look at him. “I don’t really know much about your past, either,” I pointed out, hoping to sidetrack him.

“That’s true. It’s just hard to talk about. Lots of bad memories.”

I snuggled closer to him. I could understand that feeling. I kissed his lips softly and ran my hands over his skin. I had noticed, but not really thought about, a couple of spots that were uneven on his back. Were these scars related to whatever was in his past? It had to have been bad if it had scarred him.

I wanted to know, but I wouldn’t push him, because I did not want to be pushed myself. Instead, I ran my hand down his abdomen, and searched and found his excitement. He groaned, and I distracted us both from the past in the best way possible.

“You’re wearing that?” Jason asked as I came out of the spare room I’d turned into my closet.

I glanced down at myself. My black skirt was short, but not unreasonably so, and my shirt was red, which looked good with my dark curly hair.

“Yes. Do you like it?” I asked.

“I do. Don’t wear it.”

I laughed. “I think I look good. I’m not changing.”

“That’s okay. I’m feeling very bloodthirsty tonight anyway.”

“You better not drink any blood or I’ll start wondering if I’m mated to a vampire.”

“None of them better touch you, or I might start acting like one.”

“Ooh, scary. I guess I could go for some vamp action.”

“Don’t even joke about that.”

“You know I was kidding, and that I meant you, Count Jason.”

“Count Jason?”

“Count Jasonula. Ooh. Scary.”

He cocked an eyebrow. “Well, I do want to suck on your—”

I play smacked him to shut him up as Max and Porter came around the corner. It was his turn to laugh at me.

“Your hotheaded stubbornness turns me on. It makes me want to see how far I can push you.”

“That’s what you like about me?”

“Among other things.” He raked his eyes up and down my form. “You better stubbornly scowl at every male who looks at you tonight or I might get agitated.”

“But what if they like my stubbornness?”

“Good point. Can you do frosty disdain?”

“That might work...unless they’re masochists who want to be derided.”

“This is hard. Poor me, my mate is too enticing for my comfort.” He put his arm around me.

“I have the same problem.”

“Ever feel like you’re just an object in the room when you’re near star-struck mates, Max?” Porter asked loudly in a clear attempt to annoy Jason.

“It’s hard not to confuse you with objects since you look like a tool,” Jason said.

Max laughed and even Porter joined in.

“You all had better be on your best behavior tonight. Don’t make the humans suspicious.”

Porter crossed his heart dramatically. He was the most unserious beta I had ever met. I kind of liked it, though. It probably helped to have a sense of humor in a new pack. “Obviously not. We don’t need to give the hunters excuses to start sniffing around.”

Everybody nodded wholeheartedly at that.

We headed out to the SUV we were going to use that night, and Kain was leaning against it, looking sulky.

“Drinking ages are stupid,” he muttered. “I’m a werewolf. Mundane alcohol wouldn’t affect me.”

“Myth. It does if you drink faster than your liver can process. And we’ll take you out when you hit the right age, kid,” Porter said.

Kain pushed off the vehicle. “Fine. You better.”

“I’d never forget a promise to you, Kain. We’re in this together, right?”

“Yeah yeah. Have a good night, I guess.” He wandered off towards the trailer he shared with the beta and Max.