37 Relieve

Jason

It was great seeing my former pack mate and meeting her mate, but Andrea’s near constant stream of words did start to get a bit tiring at a certain point. How she managed to talk without breathing was a mystery to me. I let it wash over me, while occasionally nodding, when distress leaked through my bond with my mate. Although I didn’t like her experiencing negative emotions, I also didn’t think too much of it at first since she was frequently furious with Bluegorge or the Alpha Assembly.

But the feeling only increased, and if it was just her temper, she would have calmed down. “Carrie? What’s wrong?”

“Jason?” she almost sounded surprised to hear my voice.

“Yeah. You feel upset.”

“Sorry about that,” she said, and she shut her feelings away from me totally. It was frustrating when she did that, and it reminded me of how she had acted when she wouldn’t tell me about her past.

“What is it?” I asked again, since she hadn’t actually answered.

“Nothing. I’ll tell you later.”

I stood up from where we were. “Sorry, Andrea, Trevor, but I’ve got to check on my mate. Something’s up. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Of course not. We know what it was like to be newly mated,” Andrea said with another knowing smile.

It was probably not what she was thinking, but I didn’t argue.

I hurried to the office, and Carrie smelled even more enticing than usual. Pushing open the door, I found my mate sitting in my chair behind the desk.

Sitting, and wiping away tears. Her eyes widened when she saw me, as if she hadn’t expected me to come to her after her shitty response to my questions.

“What is it, babe?”

She opened her mouth and then groaned. She leaned her face in her hands on the desk. “I’m so stupid.”

“About what?” I asked, not letting her get out of answering so easily.

“About...ugh, I felt pain, and then I just...it’s my heat.”

I was confused. “It’s not your heat?”

“It is,” she said.

“Then what?” I was confused about what was upsetting her. Heat was, from what I had heard, only really excruciating if the wolf’s mate wasn’t around to help deal with it—a situation that rarely happened since it was the mate who triggered it by marking. I walked around the desk. She whimpered, and I put my hand on her bare arm and slid it up to rub her shoulders. “Does that help?”

She nodded.

“Then, what did you assume, if not your heat?”

She moaned. “I started imagining something ridiculous.”

“The wrong thing?” Suddenly it made sense. “You thought I might cheat on you?”

“Not really, not when I think about it, but I was jealous of how happy you were to see Andrea, and I’ve been feeling off all day. Don’t be angry, Jason. I know I was being irrational. Please. I think the heat’s messing with my emotions.”

I wasn’t angry, but a bit of a sick feeling that infidelity would even cross her mind formed in my gut. I knew we hadn’t been together that long, and our first meeting hadn’t gone that smoothly, but things had been so good since, surely she knew well enough by now how much I already adored her.

“I just, I don’t know, still feel undesirable after everything that happened at Greenwoods, like why would you want me? I mean, I understand the bond...”

The answer was simple. It was because she was my beautiful feisty mate, but that apparently was not enough to reassure her when she was overthinking everything. I wanted to smash in that asshole alpha’s face for making her ever feel like she wasn’t enough, but that was a treat I would dream of getting later. For now, I needed time with just her.

“Porter?”

“Yeah. What is it?”

“Carrie’s heat has come, so I’m going to need you to cover for me with our guests. Give Andrea my apologies that we’ll have to take a rain check on supper, and tell them they’re welcome to come back.”

“Will do. Good luck. I’ve heard good and bad things about heat. Having an insatiable mate seems great and all, until you break your—”

“Yeah, thanks man.” Porter sounded a bit more like his old pre-mate troubles self for a minute there. With a human mate, heats were at least one thing Porter would never have to worry about heat, but I doubted that thought would comfort him since Amanda refused to even have contact with him.

I turned my attention back to Carrie. She looked devastated, probably with herself. I picked her up, and she didn’t fight me as I carried her to our home. I avoided contact with everyone, especially other males. None of them would do anything to her or against me, but I didn’t even want them breathing the same air during this moment. I slammed the door behind me, and took her to our bed and lay her down carefully in the center.

“Carrie, I don’t know what to say to make you feel more secure with me. I think I’ve been pretty open about how happy I am to have you,” I said, and I pulled off her shoes and tossed them out into the hall over my shoulder. She wouldn’t be needing those any time soon.

“It’s nothing you’ve done,” she told me, and then groaned again. It seemed the heat was getting rapidly worse, and I would have to do something about it, but I needed her to understand me first. My wolf needed her trust. I needed it.

“I’ve already said it, but what I said that first time we met was stupid. Stupid and wrong, because obviously I need you. I wanted you even then, from the moment your scent hit my nose. All I saw was a beautiful curvy woman, smooth skin, curly black hair, a female that I wanted but didn’t have the ability to properly protect. Then you were going to leave because of my idiot reaction, and my wolf demanded that I stop you by whatever means necessary. So I confined you and tried to figure out a way to win you over.”

She smiled a bit, so I decided my words were working so I continued. “And you know that didn’t go so well. You wouldn’t talk to me properly and just got more angry and stubborn, so I let you walk away. My wolf spent the entire time we were apart miserable about you and furious with me. He blamed me for losing you.” I pulled off her shirt, exposing her smooth stomach to my eyes. I splayed my hands on her abdomen, hoping that it would keep the pain at bay.

Her soft brown eyes were watching me curiously, even while another pain took her. “And then Max found your location, and I went to your home—like a stalker—to try to win you back, because I didn’t want to live without you. And then you let me in, and let me mark you. Can you imagine how happy my wolf was when you sank your teeth into my flesh in return?”

Tears welled in the corners of her eyes.

“Babe, I’m not trying to make you cry.”

“Can’t help it. I’m a mess.” She wiped her eyes. “It’s not my fault.”

“I know it’s not your fault.” I stripped off my own shirt and pants, and pulled off her skirt as well. Lying beside her on the bed in our underwear, I looked into her eyes. “Never. And I need you to understand that I’m never going to leave you or toss you away. You know you’re my other half. My wolf could never care for someone like he cares for you. I couldn’t care for anyone like I care for you. I don’t know how to make you believe that, though.”

She looked into my eyes. “I believe you.”

“Do you?”

“Yes. I just wasn’t thinking.”

“Or you were overthinking?”

“Maybe.” She moaned again. “You know, this heat thing is miserable, Jason.”

“Well, I should be able to help with that.” I waggled my eyebrows in an attempt to lighten the mood.

She smiled a bit, then it faded. “I’m sorry for doubting you.”

“I forgive you. And, you don’t need to worry. You met Andrea, she’s sweet but exhausting. I don’t know how Trevor does it, but I am impressed with his fortitude.”

Carrie was thoughtful, like she was really taking in my words. I in turn took in the fact that thoughtful-looking Carrie was really hot, just like all her other moods.

Another thought managed to push itself past my increasing enthusiasm to get this started. She smelled like a dream, better than anything I could have imagined, and it was messing with my mind more than normal. “Before I see if I can take away your pain, should we use protection?” My wolf and I loved the idea of her swollen with my offspring, and if we didn’t use condoms, the odds of pregnancy were through the roof.

She narrowed her eyes at me. “I thought we talked about this already.”

“I just want to be sure that now is the time. Things probably won’t be easy going forward, even after Bluegorge is put in place.”

“There’s never going to be a good time. Do you want a baby now?” she asked, all the softness from her voice gone in her seriousness. It was exactly the tone she used when she expected compliance as a luna.

“Carrie—”

“Yes or no? I need to know what you actually want and not what you’re worried I’ll want.”

I sighed and admitted, “I still do want children with you.”

She relaxed. Maybe I’d been worried about pressuring her for nothing. “Me too. And we’re not getting any younger...”

I wanted to ask if she was sure again, because this moment would change our lives, but she gave me a stern look that effectively sealed my mouth shut. Then she whimpered, nature’s sadistic way of forcing us towards reproduction, and there was only one thing I could do to really relieve her suffering. “Then I guess the only option I have left to relieve your pain is to have sex with you. Oh no, whatever will I do?”

She smiled at my joking.

A nobler person might regret the situation, but I only wanted my mate again. She smelled better than ever, and that was saying something, since she always smelled delicious. Bringing my mouth to hers, I kissed her hard, and she returned it with full enthusiasm.