ii. Mi Amor {5}

Stream MEGAN!! Enjoy!

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Omniscient.

Saturday, February 2015.

Training, 6:40 am.

Soulswin, Laanville 📍

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"When I asked to Train with youse I had no idea what I was getting myself into to" Amara said breathless, hunched over with her hands on her knees. Sahari didn't reply, she was standing straight up, not at all tired with a small closed smile on her face. "And den youse not even talkin so youse silently killing me" Amara continued, fake confused look on her face.

Sahari tried to hide her teeth showing smile, and looked away. "Nope, saw it" Amara made known, also smiling as she stood back up. "You're tired because you're running like I'm your competition, not your helper. You're not going to win a medal when this is over" Sahari lowly explained to her. Amara again paused, not expecting Sahari to respond. She quickly shook it off and started running again.

"I'm just trying to keep up with youse" "don't" "are youse saying I can't?" Sahari took a deep breath, and stopped running. "Can we just stop talking and run? You're making yourself even more tired" Sahari tried to hold back her irritation. "Fine" Amara rolled her eyes, slightly pouted, then followed behind Sahari. They ran in silence which felt amazing to Sahari, but was torturing Amara.

"I just wanna say youse seemed so much more chill when I watched your interviews. The videos they sent me of you-" Amara almost dropped to the floor when she ran into Sahari's toned back. Sahari quickly turned around and caught her then stared at her, curiously eyeing her. "What?" Amara mumbled, nervously fixing her stance.

"Who sent you videos of me?" Sahari asked, "uh the track coach? The principal? The dean. The assistant coach. Um even my own friends" Amara slowly answered, trying to remember everyone. "Why?" Sahari asked, very confused. "Cause they had to convince me to come?"

"Wait they asked you to come?" "Mhm they showed up to my door in Philly, looking like men in black" Amara giggled to herself. "How else do youse think I got a scholarship so late in the year? I was also told youse knew I was coming" Amara replied, confused on why Sahari looked confused.

"I don't know anything about this" Sahari made known, wondering if she should be flattered or creeped out. "Oh well yeah you're like the main reason I chose this school" Amara expressed, feeling a little foolish because Sahari didn't pay her any mind. "So I can help you?" "That and again you seemed so chill. Plus the other school wanted me to take off my hijab when I ran and I'll stop running before I ever do that" Amara answered.

"You would?" "Wouldn't you stop running if you had to choose between that and... going to church? Or just praying in general. It was an easy choice. Allah comes before running, Allah comes before anyone" Amara responded. Sahari chewed on her bottom lip as she shyly nodded. "Point made" "I have to rep my religion, even in a school that has crosses everywhere. That's important to me" "I get it" "do you though?" Amara playfully asked and Sahari shyly smiled and looked around the neighborhood they stopped in.

"I was kidding, just to be clear" Amara cleared up and Sahari playfully rolled her eyes. "I know what jokes are" she made known. "I couldn't tell" Amara mumbled and Sahari nodded. "Fair observation..." She let Amara see her smile this time.

Amara stared at her then looked away and bit the inside of her cheek. "First one to make it to the park has to eat a jelly filled doughnut" Sahari announced and took off. "Fucking cheater" Amara groaned, quickly following behind.

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4:16 pm. Sahari's bedroom 📍

"I have to meet her" Rayven announced, barely looking up as she painted her toes, light pink of course. "No you don't" Sahari shook her head as her fingers traced the new navy blue Nike pros that were sitting on her bed when she woke up from her nap, 30 minutes ago.

Waking up from a FaceTime from Rayven was her favorite pass time since Rayven went to college last fall. She missed her best friend.

"Why not? She seems fun" "she just talks and talks" "yeah, but so does Lee and you don't seem to mind that just fine" "yeah because it's Lee. It's different" Sahari lowly spoke, her heart aching thinking of Cateleya. Who she hadn't seen or spoke to in a whole 2 weeks, the longest they've gone without speaking.

"Speaking of Lee..." "nope. She still wants nothing to do with me" Sahari mumbled. "Don't say it like that" "how else am I supposed to say it?" "Hmm maybe not like you're the victim" "I don't- do I really sound like that?" "A little. You went from sadness to anger and now you're all why me?" Rayven explained, no judgment in her tone.

"All 4 stages of grief" Sahari pouted and Rayven laughed. "Girl bye, so dramatic" "am not. It feels like I lost her, I'm sure she's forgotten all about me by now" "she has not. That girl loves you and you know she does. Stop acting silly" "then why won't she talk to me?" Sahari whined, grabbing one of her bears.

"Because you hurt her Sahari. Simple as that and you can't force her to forgive you when you want her to. It's not fair" "I know. It just sucks. We all sin, I don't know why that one sin bothers me so much" Sahari sighed.

"Well let's not lie. We both know why" Rayven said lowly and they sit in silence for about a minute before she heard Sahari sniffling. "I don't understand why this is so hard, I've been doing so good. Praying about it. Ignoring the urges, I haven't acted on any and yet... I don't know what to do anymore" Sahari cried

Sahari couldn't explain the way she felt about her sexuality. If she's not praying against it then she's ignoring it. If she's doing neither then she's thinking way too hard about it and she starts to think or say horrible things to or about Cateleya or just about homosexual people in general.

It been like that for years, but for the last few months it's been getting worse. She's been loosing her temper easily, she's been losing too much weight than gaining too much. She has constant headaches and stomachache's.

She prays and prays. She cries and pleads for help, for mercy, for a sign. Something to show her that she's on the right path.

Something to show her that she has the strength to overcome her impure thoughts, but she's hasn't seen anything.

She wonders if she's praying right so she watches people at church or tries to ease drop, but still nothing. She wants to ask her pastor, but he'll want to know why she thinks she's not praying right, and she can't tell him. She knows how he feels about "the gays" and she's heard the rumors. Nothing good will come of it, nothing that isn't painful that is.

"You should tell her how you feel Hari" Rayven looked up to smile, her pink braces coming into view. "I don't even know how I feel, how am I going to tell her?" "The same way you did to me nights ago" Rayven told her. Sahari sighed "I want to forget all that. I was just clouded by desperation and sadness. God would never approve of the things I said or felt. Plus Lee- she has her own stuff going on" Sahari was now fidgeting with the pros.

"She wouldn't if you just told her how you felt" Rayven replied "and then what? We could never..." Sahari stopped talking, but the words 'be together' came to both of their minds. "So then what are you gonna do?" Rayven asked, looking at her best friend with pity. "I-" Sahari hesitated "I'm going to forget everything I said, felt and thought. I'm going to pray and just focus on track. I don't have to act on it" Sahari continued with a tiny shakiness in her voice.

"Best friend y-" "please just let it go. Forget about it, forget everything I said. No one could ever hear those things. Please. Promise me?" Sahari begged, interrupting Rayven. "I promise. I hold your secrets close to my heart like you do mine" Rayven replied, no matter how she felt, she would never out her childhood friend.

"But I also want you to-" Rayven stopped talking when they heard Sahari's phone start to ring. "Omg wait wait. She's calling me" Sahari said as loud as she could "what right now?" Rayven asked "right now" Sahari replied and immediately started panicking. "What I do?" "Answer duh" "right" Sahari slowly nodded then answered, putting the phone on speaker so Rayven could also listen.

"Hey Mi Amor" Cateleya spoke clearly into the mic and Sahari's hands immediately started shaking. But something in her heart settled, taking away the fear that she would never hear Cateleya's voice again. "Hi Lee" Sahari replied, in her same low tone and even though she tried to hide it, you could hear the excitement loud and clear in her voice.

"You have no idea how much I've missed your voice" Cateleya made known and Sahari's eyes went big, and she felt her body heating up. "I'm so happy you said that because I feel the same, I thought you forgot all about me" she replied and she heard Cateleya laugh, making her lighly bite her bottom lip.

"Never that. I just needed time, you do understand that?" "I do" "good then I was wondering... well actually I'll be at Hunter's Diner in about a hour, I wouldn't mind if you popped up and coincidentally chose to sit across from me" Cateleya told Sahari and she wanted to cry.

Cateleya hadn't forgotten all about her and wanted to meet up.

"I wouldn't dream of anything more. I'll see you in a hour" "bet. Bye Mi Amor" "bye Lee" Sahari let her hang up then she jumped from the scream Rayven let out. "Sorry, but oh my goodness, you should see your face right now. Dammit I should recorded" Rayven pouted and Sahari rolled her eyes, but couldn't stop smiling.

"Go pick something out, I gotta make sure you look good. Show her what she's been missing" "Vennnyyy" "sorry, that was the last one, I swear" Rayven giggled. Sahari shook her head, but still got up to go find something cute. For herself of course, no one else...

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Sahari walked away from her car and put her hands in the pockets of her puffer to hide the shaking. She looked both ways then crossed the street, she saw Cateleya through the window when she walked onto the curb. She got a weird feeling in her stomach, and took a deep breath as she walked in behind a family.

Cateleya was texting on her phone when she first walked in so she didn't look up until she heard footsteps and smelled Sahari's familiar perfume. She stood up and slipped her phone in her pocket. "Wassup Mi Amor" she smiled widely and Sahari immediately smiled back. She missed Cateleya's smile so much.

Cateleya wasted no time sliding her arms into Sahari's puffer, and wrapping her arms tightly around Sahari's waist. They both squeezed each other this time.

"Reunited and it feels so good. Reunited cause we understood" Cateleya sang and started to rock them side to side. Sahari laughed and pulled away, but Cateleya pulled her back. "Just a few more seconds" she whispered into Sahari's ear and Sahari got a chill down her back and lightly nodded.

Cateleya kissed her cheek then pulled apart then eyed her face. "I missed you" she told Sahari, and Sahari looked around before saying it back lowly. They sat down and their legs were tangled together, but that was the usual for them so they didn't notice.

"So what you been to?" Cateleya asked and Sahari shrugged. "Nothing really. School, track, church. The usual" Sahari replied and Cateleya nodded. "Oh I also made a new friend, well associate" Sahari revealed and Cateleya's right brow raised. "Who?" She asked "Amara, the girl I told you about some time ago" Sahari answered and Cateleya thought for a few seconds. "The Muslim chick?" Cateleya questioned and Sahari nodded.

"Mhm. We've been training together" Sahari said, and Cateleya did a small clap. "Look at you being friendly, all nice and shit" "shh. You know I wanna mentor young girls later in life, this is just practice" "that's dope" Cateleya nodded.

"Speaking of practice, I heard you showed up to mine" Cateleya mentioned and Sahari put her head down, embarrassed. "Aye no need to be embarrassed" Cateleya reached over the table and used her finger to raise Sahari's head. "It's cute. I just wish I was there to deny you entry myself" "you weren't there?" Sahari asked, confused. Track to Sahari was Flag football to Cateleya.

"Nah. I had the flu" Cateleya explained "the flu? How you get that?" Sahari asked, completely forgetting it was flu season. Sahari watched as Cateleya looked to be reminiscing then shook her head and smiled. "Doing shit I had no business doing... but don't worry I had nurse Ma and nurse Mila to nurse me back" Cateleya answered. Cateleya then chuckled like the word "nurse" was some type of inside joke.

Sahari's bottom lip slightly pocked out, as she continued to eye Cateleya. "Mila? That seems serious" Sahari questioned, trying to ignore the feeling she got in her stomach. She wanted to know what made Jamila so special... Cateleya has had many flings over the years, but they never went past sex, well from Sahari knew.

"Why? Jealous?" Cateleya replied, licking her lips to hide the smile that wanted to be shown. When Sahari hesitated and started stuttering Cateleya bust out laughing, Sahari realized she was joking and released a breath, after feeling nervous for some reason.

"I'm just fucking wit you, but you do realize Mila and I have been friends for years right?" Cateleya asked and Sahari shook her head. She let out a low "I didn't" and felt the urge to sigh, but held it in. "Why have I never heard you mention her?" She asked a little louder "you have, many times. You just have a habit of tuning out whenever I bring up a girl that's not you, Rayven, or a relativa" Cateleya explained.

Sahari didn't know how to respond to that, or even how to explain that. She didn't realize she did that.

"But I'm used to it. You know when a person has two different friend groups you start to realize what you can or can't talk about with each. That's just how we are" Cateleya shrugged. "And that's okay with you?" Sahari asked "well yeah... I mean we've been friends for a long ass time. I know how you are. I just don't wanna use that as an excuse for something's anymore" Cateleya replied, hoping Sahari wasn't taking it the wrong way.

"Understood. I really am sorry Lee. I shouldn't have said what I said. There's so excuse for it. I get so mean some times and it's unfair how I treat you, I'm sorry" Sahari lowly apologized, fidgeting with the napkins on the table. "I just wanna know why? I mean does it really disgust you that much?" Cateleya asked, and Sahari glanced around "i- it's just complicated. I can't explain it, I just see you with someone and I just start feeling shitty or like... "Jelous?" Cateleya asked and Sahari barely nodded.

"Jealous or like envious. I don't even know of what. I just know I don't like it" "you don't like homosexuality or seeing me with girls?" Cateleya questioned "I don't know. Maybe both?" Sahari mumbled and Cateleya stared at her. "You like me Sahari?" Cateleya asked, using the government to show her she was serious.

Sahari immediately tensed up at the question and sat on her hands. She looked around the diner, and surprisingly hated how Cateleya was staring hard at her. She didn't want to say the wrong thing and push her into another's girl's arm, but she's never consciously liked anyone, she's never even entertained the idea even though her peers were. She just never thought about that stuff.

What did it even mean to like someone?

"I don't know. Sorry if that's the wrong answer" Sahari mumbled as she looked back to Cateleya, but avoided her eyes. "I don't know is better than a no to me" Cateleya replied, softly smiling, her stomach felt full and they hadn't even ate yet. "I'm sorry I-" "shush" Cateleya put her hands on the table and waited for Sahari to set her hands into them. Sahari glanced around before slowly doing it.

Cateleya kissed her knuckles then interlocked their hands.

"Do you love me as your friend?" "Yes" "do you like as a friend?" "Yes, always" "you do know our friendship is a life and death situation?" Sahari giggled at the question then quickly nodded. "Yes" "do you plan to give me the pickles off your burger?" "heck no" Sahari giggled again and was about to pull away, but Cateleya tightened her grip. "Okay let me stop playing" Cateleya straightened up and stopped smiling.

"You know the things that matter the most. You always want to be friends with me and I always want to be friends with you. I know your heart so you're forgiven and thank you for respecting that I need space well kinda" they both laughed. "Sorry" Sahari mumbled "actually I'm not" she took it back and Cateleya shook her head, while smiling.

"I missed you so much Mi Amor. I love you" Cateleya made known, even though it hurt that she couldn't explain how much, or her reasons why. She hoped her face didn't show the sadness she felt about Sahari not knowing how she felt about her. She meant everything she said about what mattered, but it still hurt because she knew it meant that she has to move on romantically.

It had been years and the only things Sahari still had on her mind was God and track and Cateleya couldn't compete with that.

"I love you too" Sahari replied, feeling what she didn't know was butterflies in her stomach. "But not enough to give me your pickles?" Cateleya playfully rolled her eyes "girl" Sahari straight faced her and Cateleya winked at her. "Fine" Sahari fake sighed "girl nothing, you about to get free food, cheer up nigga" Cateleya joked as they stood up.

"See now I'm about to be the saddest person ever. Keep playing" Sahari joked and started to fake pout making Cateleya laugh.

After they finished their food they decided to go back to Sahari's house because Juno called and said he wanted to talk to them which meant friendship lecture. They were going to make an excuse, but Jayla said she wanted to see Cateleya and Cateleya would never say no to Jayla. So now they were walking back to the car.

"My whole body was sore, even my eyes. I think I died and came back to life" Cateleya joked and Sahari snickered. "Did you see God?" "Bro it was just my mami with her flashlight in my eye. Talking about sum she accidentally unplugged the light" Cateleya replied and Sahari slightly fell back into Cateleya as she laughed hard.

"Then she trips over my shoes and the flashlight flys into my stomach hard as hell. I threw up a little in my mouth" Cateleya continued and Sahari looked disgusted, but couldn't stop laughing. She started to lose her balance even more and Cateleya held onto her tightly, lightly laughing herself, but mostly just watching Sahari.

"Y'all are so cute. So young and in love" They heard and Sahari swallowed her laugh and stood straight. "Oh and you dropped this" the woman handed her a charm that fell from her pandora bracelet. "Than-" Sahari turned around and immediately stopped talking. "You're welcome. Have a nice night" the woman walked past them.

Cateleya was deeply confused by the stuck look on Sahari's face then her knees bucked and Sahari started falling backwards, but Cateleya immediately grabbed and held onto her. "What wrong? Who was that? Why does she look like-" Cateleya immediately stopped talking when she caught on. Sahari stared at the back of the woman wearing a bun, paintsuit, and a briefcase.

"She- that... I- I think that was my mom"

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Hii. I don't leave y'all on cliff hangers often, but this was a must. Also to all my moonlight fans the beach scene is next ifyyk 😏 my goal was to update again before the month was over so 👏🏾 Byee ❣️

06/28/2024