ii. Mi Amor {11}

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays Loves. This one is a bit chaotic and long, enjoy :)

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Omniscient.

Saturday, May 2015.

2:44 pm.

Laanville, Mississippi. 📍

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Sahari continued to walk down the street until she hit the corner. Then It was like all of the wind was knocked out of her. She held her stomach as she lost her balance and almost fell back, she didn't even know what broke her fall because her eyes were so watery she had to close them.

"Ma'am are you alright?" She heard faintly as she focused on the sound of her rapid heartbeat. Then when she heard "someone call an ambulance" she took off running. She couldn't see where she was going and she felt dizzy, but kept going.

And going and going until her legs felt like they were giving out and she had a Charlie horse in her right calf. She leaned forward, her hands on her knees as her whole body shook. As she was trying to catch her breath, she looked around.

She was a street away from her church. So she slowly walked with a limp to the church. When she made it, she was greeted by one of her favorite ushers. "Miss Sahari what are you doing here so early?" "Is pastor Stuart in?" Sahari asked, avoiding the question.

"Not yet, him and his family should be here soon. You can come ba- "no thank you ma'am. I'll wait" Sahari didn't even care about the guilt she felt from cutting the elder off. "Well okay... choir is practicing, so it's not gonna be too quiet" Sahari nodded and continued walking.

Sahari decided to sit in the back, as she eyed the church and the choir was warming up. It made her start thinking about her grandmother and how she wanted Sahari to join the church choir when she was younger. Unfortunately she couldn't because the parents fussed about it.

It didn't stop her from sneaking in and watching them practice though. A silly memory of her dragging Cateleya to watch came to her mind. "Puedes cantar mejor que estas tontas" Cateleya whispered, slouching and crossing her arms. Sahari couldn't help to feel special from the compliment.

She wished she could be back in that moment. Her grandmother was still alive, Cateleya never left her side, and she didn't know her hero was just correcting his mistakes. Or her mistakes? She didn't know, she was still confused on the gender thing.

A part of her wanted the whole situation to be some kind of sick joke, not only because it was making her incredibly angry, but also because she didn't want to think about all the suffering Juno went through. It was easier getting through the day knowing Yellow only hurt her and her mother. But knowing he hurt Juno, and many others. It hurt. It hurt so bad.

It felt like everything was a lie. Did Juno/John really love her, or did he just solely feel guilt? How did Jayla fit into all of this? Why didn't her mother tell her after months together? Why didn't her grandmother ever? Who else knew? Was she the only one out of the joke?

Her mind raced as she slouched and stared at the transparent ceiling.

She didn't know how much time had passed, but she had a faint smile on her face as she heard the melody of Kirk Franklins Hold Me Now playing. "I'm listening, you have my attention" she whispered. She wrapped her arms around herself and swayed her body, "can you hold me now" she sung "pleasee" she added, her lips trembling.

"You don't laugh at me when I make m-mistakes and c-cry" she wiped her tears then stood up, usually she wouldn't want to bring any attention to herself, but right now she just wanted God to hold her.

'But do sinners deserve to be held' was there in the back of her head but she ignored it.

"I was wonderin, can you hold me now?.... Oh-oh" "to every broken person that might hear this song. To every boy or girl that feels their smile is gone" Sahari heard and felt her knees buckle, while she released a low sob.

"Please hold me even though I might not deserve it or you God. Please, I need you. Please, please, oh please" she prayed, cried, begged.

She laid on the bench, arms still wrapped around herself, repeating the word "please" Sahari didn't even feel herself falling asleep, she just knew believing that God had her, settled her heart.

The next thing she remembered is being shaken awake. She thought it was her favorite usher, but she was surprised when she saw the preachers son. She jumped up, wiped her face, and fixed her posture. He chuckled "my bad, didn't meant to scare you. Do you mind?" He asked, pointing to the space next to Sahari, she shook her head and he sat to the right of her.

"I wasn't expecting to see you, do you usually watch choir practice?" He asked and she again shook her head "ah, yeah I figured. Are you okay? Your eyes are red" He mentioned and she nodded, "allergies" she lied, yes he was the preachers son and they did go to the same school, but they've never held a full conversation. She wasn't about to tell him about her family problems.

"Oh well I'll pray for you, I know that sucks" "thanks" Sahari mumbled, really not in the mood to talk, and embarrassed that she fell asleep in church. "You know it's funny that I seen you here because I was actually about to text you" he made known, smiling. "Really?" She asked, confused "well don't sound so confused, you're a pretty girl Sahari" 'oh. Ohhhh' she thought then gave him a tight lipped smile "thank you" she forced out, hoping he was going to leave it at that.

But the look of curiosity in his eyes and the cocky smile on his face, showed differently.

"Do you think I'm handsome?" He asked and she wanted so badly to shrug, but held back. "Sure" she uninterestedly answered, it wasn't a lie but she hadn't ever really thought about his looks. Coincidentally she had thought about his sister's though, the girl smiled occasionally at her at church. "So what do you say?" He asked, a smirk on his face and even though Sahari had on sweats, she felt his pointer finger lightly circling her knee.

She didn't show on her face that she noticed it, and just smoothly moved her legs. "I'm sorry?" She asked, confused on what he was asking "to going on a date with me?" Sahari couldn't hide her surprise, but she did hide her disgust. "Oh..." she started.

"Um I'm leaving for college soon, I don't know how that'll work" she told him, trying to let him down easily. "Wait you're really going? College won't really matter when you become a house wife you know? It's better to save your money now" he told her, and she immediately felt even more uncomfortable.

"I've talked about going to the Olympics multiple times at bible study" she reminded him. "My father says anyone not performing for God is performing for the devil. God won't be in the bleachers at your track meet" "and the devil will?" She defensively asked, getting a little louder. "Excuse me?" He replied, shocked at her tone. 'Your excused' she thought and mentally rolled her eyes.

"I don't like that you're implying that I'm running for the devil. I have and will always run for God, and Jesus, my lord and sav-" alright my bad baby" he tried to laugh it off and Sahari just hummed then looked around the make sure she didn't drop anything.

She stood up "so I'm going-" she gasped as his hand grabbed her left arm and pulled her back down. "I'm not done talking to you" he leaned forward and spoke into her ear, her eyes flickered in fear and she nodded so fast, it made her head hurt.

"You hurt my feelings" he gripped her thigh and she winced, and began shaking. "I'm sorry" she hoped that would make him back up some, but it seemed like it only made him get closer. "I forgive you. You know you're just so beautiful and you love God. And not to be sinful but your body..." he bit his bottom lip and Sahari froze, and she didn't know if she was hearing his heartbeat or hers.

'Okay. Okay. I have to... I have to- cmon think. Think. Just move away from him' she thought, but for some reason she just couldn't move. When she felt his hand squeeze her again then started slowly moving up, she only used her eyes to look around the church.

There wasn't a person in sight.

'Don't panic. Don't panic. Juno taught you what to do. Pull then push. Pull then push. Push. Him' she thought, and it finally seemed like she could move. "Do you want me to move up?" He lowly asked, and Sahari took a deep breath then yanked herself away then pushed him with everything she had in her. He fell off the bench and she ran. She didn't know if he would follow her, but she didn't turn around and see.

She caught the bus back to Cateleya's house, and knocked, and knocked for at least 4 minutes before realizing no one was home. So she decided to call Cateleya, "c'mon c'mon" she groaned as her calls weren't being answered, and possibly ignored.

After the 4th unanswered call she tried Ace, who answered after a few rings. She immediately took the phone off her ear as the song 'don't tell em' was blasting in her ear. "I GOT A MISS CALL FROM YO BITCH" Ace screamed, completely forgetting she answered her phone. She squinted at her screen before chessing "wassup Lil Flo" "is Lee there?" Sahari asked, having to speak a little louder.

"Um Lee is um- how are you? Isn't the weather so nice?" Ace tried distracting her, she was drunk and high, but she could cover for Cateleya in her sleep. "Ace please, I don't care who she's dancing with. I just need her, okay?" Ace sighed then looked around the party, searching for her best friend who went off to do body shots with a random girl. Ace rubbed the back of her neck then sighed. "We're at the house party on Pops street" "thank you" "mhm, if she asks, I don't know" "ask what?" "Huh? Exactly" Ace hung up and Sahari started walking in the direction of the house party.

The house wasn't hard to miss at all, the music was so loud it could be heard a block away. There were so many teens on the steps and street, dancing, talking, kissing, some were even arguing. Sahari felt a wave of shyness and paused before walking up, she yelped and quickly got on the sidewalk as a car recklessly driving pulled up. When the group got out of the car, smoke came out and Sahari was confused for a second until she remembered that Cateleya told her that meant they were smoking in it.

One of the girls looked so familiar, but another mugged her so she immediately looked away and walked to the house. "5 dollars" a boy told her "5 dollars to get in?" She asked and he nodded "now it's ten because you wanna question me bi- I wouldn't say that if I were you" another boy interrupted, shaking his head. "Nigga why not?" "Bro that's Juno fucking daughter. He beat a nigga just for looking at her too much, you think he won't drop- no kill yo ass for calling her out her name? Don't be a dum ass"

Sahari was too confused on Juno beating a man up for her to notice the look of horror on the boys face. "M-my fault. 5 is fine" he told her and she slowly nodded, and dug in her sweats, thankfully she broke her 20 earlier so she could get on the bus.

When she made it inside, she covered one ear as the loudness made her ear ache. After a minute of searching through the large crowd she saw Ace. She was about to walk up to her when she was pushed then heard lots of screaming, she thought a fight broke out but then everyone screamed. "UHHHHH HOW YOU DO THAT" and while still in a state of confusion, she was grabbed by her waist. "Lemme dance on yo fine ass" she heard and a second later a girl was throwing it back on her.

It wasn't the first time someone had danced on her, Rayven had done it countless times, but it was usually just them. Plus Rayven didn't dance as aggressive and didn't look back, stare Sahari in her eyes and clap her ass. Sahari felt her face heat up and a chill down her back. She did even eventually put her hands on the girls waist, just to make sure the girl wouldn't fall forward. Or at least that's what she told herself.

When the dance was over, the girl stood up and smiled at Sahari "if you see me again, don't be shy" she winked then walked away. Suddenly it was too hot to be wearing a hoodie. She was still putting together everything that just happened when someone put their arm around her, from how skinny their arm was Sahari knew it was Ace.

"Damnnn Lil Flo I didn't know you had it in you" Ace crackled, leaning on Sahari. "She- I-" Sahari couldn't even form a sentence so she said all she could. "I'm hot" and Ace nodded "follow me" they walked to the kitchen that had multiple coolers and after going through to Ace handed her a water bottle. "Here, even though you look like you need a real drank" Ace semi joked and Sahari tensed up.

Ace continued to yap about nothing while Sahari looked back into the crowd, another twerk song came on so it was easier to see. Or at least that's what she thought, but it looked like everyone was crowding around into a circle "oh they fighting?" Ace asked, "c'mon" she told Sahari trying to be nosy. Sahari shook her head, but followed.

Sahari didn't care to see a fight, but she never expected to see what she did.

Cateleya was laying on the floor on her back and a girl was dancing on her. Cateleya had a wide smile on her face and her and the girl was making seductive eye contact, the familiarity of it all made Sahari feel so mediocre. She wasn't anything special to Cateleya and realizing that made her look away.

She tried to walk out of the house, but people were walking in the opposite direction making it harder so she tried to find a corner to just hid in. She walked past the group from earlier and something told her to keep her head down, but she didn't and made eye contact with the girl that still seemed familiar. The girl looked away but Sahari continue to eye her, trying to figure out where she knew her from.

"Whatcu staring at bitch?" She heard and her eyes went to the girl. "My bad I-" Sahari tried to explain, but the girl started taking off her gold hoops and Jayla told Sahari that meant said girl wanted to fight. 'But I didn't do anything?' Sahari thought then saw the girl who mugged her earlier, taking off her stuff too.

"It is your fucking bad, ugly ass dike" the friend started 'ugly?' Sahari questioned, having not heard that in a while. "Again my bad I-" Sahari tried again but the familiar girl started clapping and screaming, calling Sahari all types of out of pocket shit.

By this time Cateleya's dance was over and Ace was telling her that Sahari was watching and in the mist of her heart falling to her ass she heard girl's screaming. "Oh shit they bout to jump her ass" a boy said as he walked past the best friends. Cateleya's mind was only on Sahari at the moment so she didn't care about some girl fight until another boy walked past saying "they really bout to jump Juno's daughter?" Ace and Cateleya immediately made eye contact before pushing through the crowd.

Cateleya knew Juno didn't have another daughter, but she was still shocked when she got through the crowd and saw two girls screaming at Sahari. Sahari face showed no emotion as her hands rested behind her back, but Cateleya knew that meant Sahari was ready to fight. Sahari always took that route to remove her rings.

"Bitch wassup? You can't seem to keep your eyes to her self- Yo chill Ariel. Chill" Cateleya got between them and Ace stood to the right of Cateleya, ready for whatever. "Nah she kept looking at me and shit like she wanna fight. Don't be scary bitch" "I'm not scared of you" Sahari replied, speaking clearly. Now knowing that this was Ariel, the Ariel who bullied her until Sahari had to beat up in 6th grade she wasn't confused anymore.

"Oh now you can speak since you got your body guards. Move Leya" Ariel stomped her foot, and Cateleya shook her head. "I'm not anyone's bodyguard, but I'm not gon let y'all jump her. If you wanna fight, do it one on one" Cateleya made known. She'll be damned if she ever let Sahari get jumped in front of her, honestly let a girl hit Sahari too hard for her liking and she jumping in.

"Okay wassup" Ariel shrugged and Cateleya stepped out of the way, but she still kept her eye on Ariel's friends. "Don't just stand there, hit me bitch. Hit me" Ariel taunted and Sahari was again confused. "Don't you want to fight me? Hit me and I will respond" she replied and Ariel only scoffed. "Hit her Ariel" a dude yelled out and the crowd of drunk and high teens cheered, wanting to see a fight.

Ariel raised her fists and Sahari didn't flinch, so much had happened in the last few hours that she was ready to release her anger. Ariel honestly looked like she wasn't trying to fight but a boy in her group, pushed her and she swung. The punch barely tapped Sahari's nose, but that was all she needed to immediately raise her fists and punch Ariel in the side of her face and it hit her temple.

When Ariel's head flew back Sahari stepped forward and punched her again, this time in the nose making Ariel scream then start wind milling on Sahari. Getting everywhere, but her face and because Sahari was shorter and Ariel had her head down, Sahari had the advantage and uppercut Ariel.

Cateleya was watching it all then in an instant kicked Ariel's female friend that was trying to punch Sahari in the side of her head. "Bitch back up" Cateleya told her and the girl screamed and tried to punch on Cateleya which made Ace run up "I don't fight fair bitch, not bout this one" Ace punched the girl and the girl fell on her butt too drunk to stabilize herself.

Cateleya saw that Sahari and Ariel were now on the floor and she let Sahari get one more punch in before bending down and picking her up. Ariel tried to swing on Sahari so Cateleya kicked her hard as hell to the floor. "You got a whole black eye, don't make me let her down and give you another one" Cateleya warned, shaking her head at the bruise already forming on Ariel's light skinned face.

"Put me down" Sahari groaned, her whole body shaking and her hands throbbing. "Chill Mi Amor" Cateleya told her and waited until they got outside to put Sahari down. When she did, blood spilled from Sahari's mouth "what the fuck she- "no. I bit my tongue" Sahari made known and spit out the blood filling her mouth. Ace came out of the house, jogged to them while laughing "damn Lil Flo you fucked her up" "she beat her up in 6th grade too" Cateleya remembered and Ace laughed even harder "hoes don't learn"

"It's crazy cause I'm usually coo with Ariel and her sea friends, but I don't play bout Lee and Lee don't play bout you so I had to" Ace started punching the air and making sounds with her mouth. "Then Lee out here dragon ball z kickin bitches" Ace started punching and kicking the air and while Cateleya wanted to laugh, she looked at Sahari and she was pissed.

"Ace" Cateleya called, but Ace was having too much fun. "Ace" she repeated and Ace slowly stopped moving "huh?" She asked and Cateleya lightly moved her head towards Sahari's direction "oh my fault, lemme go get my pretty ass girl and go" Ace put her hand out and they did their handshake. "Lemme know when you make it home" "if I remember too" Ace smirked and Cateleya snickered, but she was serious and Ace knew it too.

"See you later Lil Flo, don't go beatin no mo bitches asses tonight. Well maybe punch her a few times" Ace mumbled the last part and it made Sahari nodded. "Night, thank you" "ain't no thang" Ace shrugged then walked off, going back into the house.

The two childhood friends sat in a silence before Cateleya nervously cleared her throat. "You gon tell me how you ended up at this party?" Sahari only scoffed as a response then started walking away, well tried to. Cateleya immediately leaned forward and grabbed Sahari's hips from the back.

"Let me go" Sahari grabbed Cateleya's hands "I'm good, you're warm" Cateleya pressed herself onto Sahari. "Lee let me go" she repeated, not in the mood to be touched anymore tonight. "Hmm I will if you promise not to walk away from me. I'll chase you if I have to, but I rather not" Cateleya replied, truthfully. "Whatever" Sahari lowly agreed, and Cateleya slowly backed away.

"Did you have to hump that girl in front of everyone?" Sahari asked, looking at the bugs on the sidewalk. "Hump?" Cateleya snickered "is this the internalized homophobia talkin or the jealously?" "I'm- I was not jealous" Sahari lied "so jealous? Got it" Cateleya mumbled then sighed. "It was only a dance" she clarified "it didn't look like one, she basically had her- private part in your face" Cateleya laughed.

"Okay it did look crazy, but I don't want that girl" "you did that lip bite thing you do when your- you know" Cateleya gasped and smiled. "Stop playing with me. I was not thinking about sex, I was too gone. Was the eye contact extra? Yes, but sex is the last thing on my mind tonight" "if you say so" Sahari mumbled, shrugging.

Cateleya put a finger under her chin and raised her head "I'm sorry, you shouldn't have had to see that" Sahari sighed and Cateleya cupped the side of her face and Sahari relaxed in her palm. Closing her eyes for a few seconds before raising her head "it's not even about that girl. I found out some horrible stuff today" Sahari replied, and the hairs on Cateleya's neck stood up.

"Um it's kinda actually really cold out here, do you mind if we go back to your house?" Sahari wrapped her arms around herself "yeah, c'mon" Cateleya nodded then they started walking back to her house.

"I still wanna know how you ended up at that party" "I know people" Cateleya snickered and rolled her eyes. "Sure you do"

Between the two blocks and a half blocks they had to walk, there was a liquor store and seeing it reminded Cateleya that she needed backwoods. But she couldn't tell Sahari that so she just said that she needed something to drink. She asked Sahari to get it for her and when her back was turned, Cateleya bought it.

Then she bought their drinks and Sahari 2 box's of lemon heads. Walking out of the store, she put her arm around Sahari's shoulder.

"Lee?" "Hmm?" "Over the years we've both have changed so much. You don't find it scary?" Sahari mumbled, starting to play with Cateleya's fingers. "At first, but as long we ain't fooling ourselves tryin to be our old selves then we're good. Or at least that's what Ace Mami says" Cateleya shrugged. She looked down at Sahari who was focused on her fingers so she interlocked their fingers.

"Why?" She questioned and Sahari only snuggled more into Cateleya's arm. "Mi Amor" "your eyes. A week ago I thought you were just rubbing your eyes, but I can smell it on you. Plus that liquor store was empty and quiet as heck" Sahari answered and Cateleya smiled. "And I saw the lighter in your back pocket when you picked me up" she continued and Cateleya laughed while nodding.

"Are you high right now?" "Just a lil. The fight blew a lot of it" Cateleya snickered then grabbed her phone and looked into her phone camera. Her eyes were still red, low and glossy.

She then pulled out her carmex and put some on because having dry lips is crazy. "Want some?" She asked Sahari who was staring hard at her. Sahari didn't answer so Cateleya shrugged and slid it back into her pocket.

"So what all did you take?" Sahari asked "take? Please I smoked a blunt, okay maybe 2, but specifics don't matter" "it doesn't matter? Lee you do know w- weed is just a gateway. Next thing you'll be- ughhhh this is why I didn't tell you. Everything doesn't have to be about your mother Mi Amor"

"What? I- this is not about her" Sahari believed. "Yeah right, everything always is" "t-that's not true, why would you say that?" Sahari questioned. "Cause it's the truth- no it's not. Stop trying to move the conversation off of you. When did you start smoking?" "You really wanna know or you just wanna fuss at me?" "I want to know" "freshman year, back then it was only here and there, but you know life has a way of changing things"

"Explain" "do I need to?" "Yes, I want to know why you do it more often" "no you don't" "yes I do" "I'm telling you Sahari, you don't" Cateleya groaned, but Sahari knew what she wanted. "Trust me. Whatever you tell me won't be the worst thing I heard today" she told Cateleya. It made Cateleya pause, she was starting to get really curious on what Sahari had been told.

"Remember when I didn't talk to you for some time and came back and told you that I was sick?" Cateleya asked and Sahari slowly nodded "well I lied. I wasn't sick. My m-mom was... She's sick. And not cold or flu sick. She's cancer, long stay in the hospital, stage 3, thousands in hospital bills sick" "c-cancer?" Sahari repeated "breast cancer, it runs in my famila or sum shit" Cateleya voice was really weak.

"I- how- when- I'm so sorry" Sahari hugged her, it was probably one of the most tightes ones she's ever given her. Cateleya relaxed into the hug. "I was jumped into the gang..." Cateleya continued to reveal and she felt Sahari tense up. "It was also why I couldn't meet you. I was too bruised up, I knew you would ask why. I knew you wouldn't approve" Sahari pulled out of the hug "of course not. That gang got your brother killed Lee" "they- "you literally still have nightmares about trying to save him and you join-" Sahari was deeply confused, and disappointed.

"What else am I supposed to do? You think the fucking housekeeping job my ma has is gonna take care of her hospital bills? I still have a little brother who needs stuff, my mom can't work as much anymore. Even though she has citizenship, she barely has health insurance and she has so many-" Cateleya's voice cracked. "Surgeries, so many. I hear her crying all the time. It's bad enough that she lost the child that made her a mother, now she's always in physical pain too. I won't apologize for trying to make sure she and my brother still have a roof over their head and she can get her medicine.

I love you so much Sahari, you know I do but I won't apologize for it. No matter how much you look down on me" "no Lee- I don't look down on you. I'm just concerned, but please don't apologize. I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. I'm so sorry" Sahari repeatedly apologized, wiping Cateleya's tears.

Being vulnerable usually came easy to Cateleya when she was around Sahari after all these years, but there are times Cateleya gets embarrassed about it.

"It's your turn" Cateleya told Sahari when they were about a block away from her house, she was hoping to get the attention off of her. "For?" "I told you my secret, you have to tell me what's got you looking so dead" "stooopp" Sahari mumbled while pushing Cateleya making her smile.

"Juno took me for burgers" "burgers?" Cateleya questioned and Sahari let her think on it "oh shit. He kicked you out?" Cateleya snickered, her eyes widened at the thought. "At this point, I wish" Sahari sighed. "Hmm fill me in" "he told me about my f- Yellow and how he's basically the reason my mom got caught up with Yellow-" Sahari stopped talking and eyed Cateleya, who looked everywhere but Sahari.

"You knew" "I didn't" "you did, you're not at all shocked... Wow" Sahari shook her head, in disbelief. "I just found out a few weeks ago... but I've been hearing crazy shit for years. I never knew what was real or not" Cateleya made known. "And you didn't think to tell me?" "Fools on drugs say wild shit all the time. And also what would that have done? That shit is life changing" "yeah, tell me about it..."

"So what are you going to do?" "I don't know" Sahari's voice got really quiet. "I couldn't even look at him, every time I think about him I get nauseous. I do believe he fought for my mom, but I just can't help but think he didn't do enough. I don't know if I can forgive him" Sahari knew she would have to forgive him eventually, but right now it seemed like the impossible.

"Mi Amor please don't take what I'm about to say to heart, but I think that's really unfair" "what? How?" "All I'm saying is you should try to put yourself into his shoes, and to really think about everything that happened to him"

"Put myself in his shoes then what? Am I supposed to just be okay with him lying since the day he met me?" "No Sahari, I'm just asking you to stop only thinking about yourself. Was he wrong for keeping this from you for so long? Yes, but you really can't eventually forgive him? Juno has done so much for you, accepted so many of your mistakes and outbursts. Your misplaced anger and your grief, why can't you forgive him? See his mistakes and hug him like he does for you? Are you the only one who deserves grace? Patience?"

Sahari feels herself tense up at the questions, then her head drops and she looks at the floor and she wants to walk away, but her feet aren't moving. She could feel Cateleya staring at the side of her face, waiting for an answer to the questions that Sahari knew may never get answered.

'I dint know. I don't know. I don't know. I DON'T KNOW' she thought and it suddenly felt like the cold weather froze. Then in just a few seconds it felt like the weather went up and she couldn't breathe. She felt her chest rising and falling, and she started unconsciously pulling at Cateleya's hoodie that she still had on from this morning. "L-Lee I- can't b-breat-the" she struggled to get out "oh fuck" Cateleya saw the panic in her eyes.

She put her hand on Sahari's back and helped her sit down on the curb. She bent down infront of her and grabbed her hands, "you're okay Mi Amor. Fuck, can you inhale?" Sahari nodded then lightly did it "yeah, like that. Again" they inhaled deeply together then released and Sahari got a little light headed, but she could breathe a little better. They inhaled and exhaled together a few more times until Cateleya visibly seen Sahari able to do it by herself.

"Have you eaten since this morning?" Cateleya asked, Sahari ignored the question and raised her arms so Cateleya could help her get up. Cateleya smacked her lips and pulled Sahari up, as they start walking down Cateleya's block Sahari locks their arms then puts her head on Cateleya's arm.

"I'm making you some food when we get in" "are you trying to kill me?" Sahari jokingly lowly asked, breathless. Cateleya playfully rolled her eyes "whatchu tryin to say?" "You burnt noodles Lee" "I forgot to put agua!" Cateleya's head flew back as she laughed. As Cateleya was laughing Sahari smiled slightly at her and eyed her slowly.

Her smiled slowly drops when her mind starts playing tricks on her. She leaned closer to Cateleya "what's on your neck Cateleya?" "What? Nothing" Cateleya rubbed her neck, looking genuinely confused. And for the first time ever Sahari grabbed Cateleya by her crew neck. "Why do you have a monkey bite on your neck?" Sahari asked, calmly even though she felt her body burning up as if she had a cold.

"I don't, what the-" Cateleya stopped talking when her realization hit. "It's- I- Sahari" "don't Sahari me Cateleya. Was it her?" Sahari asked, not strong enough to even say her name but Cateleya didn't need her to. "Yeah. Wait-" Cateleya grabbed her arms as Wisdom let go of her. "Let me go" "no" "Cat- please, let me explain" "what is there to explain? I told you that you couldn't have s- not with the both of us and you still- you can't even say it Wisdom" "say what?"

"Sex. You can't even say the word sex" "s-so? That doesn't mean you can even cheat- hold on. We're not in a relationship, you made that choice remember, you wanted to wait" "and I'm so happy I did because you couldn't even kept your mouth off other girls" "it's not even like that"

Sahari didn't care to reply and after a little back and forth she successfully pulled away. When she turned around and walked down back where they came from, Cateleya followed closely behind her. "Sahari wait. Mi Amor please. Let me explain" she wasn't expecting Sahari to turn around so when she did, they almost crashed into each other. "Does she know about your mom?" "Mi- does she know about your mom?" Cateleya sighed and her head dropped "yeah" she answered, guilt filling her body.

Sahari thought the romcom movies were just being extra, but she actually did feel her heart break. And her body suddenly felt heavy as her legs felt like jelly, and it took the small of strength she still had to turn around and walk away.

Cateleya hadn't moved as her own eyes got blurry, eventually she sat on the curb and watched Sahari walk away until she couldn't see her anymore. 'Stupido. Stupido..." she repeated as her knees went to her chest and tears dropped onto her light denim jeans.

Sahari found herself wandering, her head wasn't in the right place and neither was her heart. She didn't know where to go. And she kept hearing this ringing noise and it was driving her insane. Until she patted her pocket and realized her phone was ringing. 'Amara?' She questioned eyeing the screen then put her phone to her ear.

She wrapped her arms around herself as she walked into the apartment complex and tried to remember where she was going, after about 10 minutes, she found it. She lightly knocked on the door and after hearing shuffling, the front door opened.

Amara opened the door in baby blue pajamas that covered everything, but her neck and her purple bonnet. She heard the pain in Sahari's voice when she called her 20 minutes ago and didn't even need a second to think about hosting Sahari for the night. "I hope you like halal food" she spoke softly as she opened her arms and Sahari's lip trembled as she walked forward and into Amara's embrace.

💟💟

Hii. Just to clarify, yes this is the "Chiron stay down" scene 😔. I was gonna update this on thanksgiving but I wanted to enjoy it a little more before the negative comments came lmaoo. Okay bye :)

10/25/2024