Chapter Thirty Five.

“Are you going to tell your mom?”

Morgan’s words haunt me still, echoing in my mind from last night. It’s back to routine at the pack house today, but the weight of that question lingers.

I found out last night that Callum’s job is tied to his horticulture course at university—the same university where Morgan is studying to become a bioengineer. Following that train of thought only deepens my anxiety. What would my mother think of my life choices? As I reflect on my own path, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m not doing enough. Why can’t I just be happy?

Sigh.

Elias and Theo are busy handling things at the club. As far as I know, Elias has his accounting degree and manages all the finances, while Theo oversees the entire operation—everything from orders to licenses to staff. And then there’s Micah, who’s been given a two-week contract with a video game company, leaving him holed up in his room, working tirelessly.

That just leaves me alone with my thoughts, my phone in hand, feeling like I’m in limbo. I know that if I tell my mother about the pack, she’ll want to meet them. She’d likely plan a whole dinner, wanting to know everything about this new chapter in my life. And while I appreciate her enthusiasm, the thought of it sends my heart racing.

But the truth is, I want to bare all their marks. I want to embrace our bond fully, and I’d love to not delay my anxious, possessive Alpha a moment longer. The idea of waiting makes my stomach twist, the desire to solidify our connection overwhelming.

I take a deep breath, trying to calm the whirlwind of emotions inside me. It’s not just about my mother; it’s about me, about what I want and need. I want to be part of this pack completely, to feel secure in my place among them.

With a newfound resolve, I type out a message to my mother, letting her know I miss her too, and I'll see her soon.  I can’t let doubt creep in; I need to focus on what truly matters—my bond with Elias, Theo, Micah, and Callum.

Setting my phone down, I decide to take a walk outside, letting the fresh air clear my mind. I need to center myself.

~~~~

I head out for a walk (and then a bus) back to my apartment with Morgan, the familiar streets bringing a sense of nostalgia. But as I step inside, that feeling shifts. What was once my sanctuary now feels like a reminder of my past. The pack house is my home now, filled with warmth and belonging, while this apartment feels cold and distant.

I move through the familiar space, my heart heavy as memories wash over me—late-night study sessions, laughter with friends, quiet moments of solitude. It all feels like a lifetime ago. I head into my room, searching for my laptop, hoping it will help me find a direction.

When I finally locate it, a wave of frustration washes over me as I see the screen is black. Ugh, it’s dead. I sit on my bed with a sigh, plugging it in and waiting for it to power back up.

Once it boots up, I fire up the university's website, my fingers trembling slightly as I navigate to the course listings. I’m eager to find something I’m passionate about, something that will reignite my sense of purpose. But as I scroll through the options, disappointment sets in. Nothing speaks to me.

And then, as I reach the bottom of each course description, my heart sinks further. The fine print reads: All Omegas wishing to apply must have completed their Omega Academy training.

“Fuck,” I mutter under my breath, frustration boiling over. The realization hits me like a punch to the gut. I’ve been so focused on my bond with the pack that I didn’t consider the implications of my Omega status. I’m still bound by the limitations of my training, and now it feels like a barrier that’s holding me back from the life I want.

Sinking back against the bed, I let out a shaky breath, my mind racing. I want to contribute to the pack, to find my place, but this obstacle feels insurmountable. I thought I could forge my own path, but now it seems like the walls are closing in on me.

~~~~

I curl up in a ball, the crushing weight of depression hazing over me like a dense fog. My limitations are glaringly obvious now, and I feel a wave of self-reproach wash over me. How could I have been so foolish to think I could escape that part of my life? I should have known better than to believe I could move on without confronting my past.

“Ivy?” Morgan’s voice breaks through my haze as she enters the room. I can sense her concern, and I know she’s on the phone—probably with my mother. It makes sense. Mother was right; I should have gone back to the academy. I am just a lowly Omega after all.

Time feels distorted, stretching into what feels like hours, the weight on my chest unmoving. The fog behind my eyes blares, twisting my thoughts into a jumbled mess. Disassociation becomes my only friend, a way to escape the reality pressing down on me.

Suddenly, I’m hit by the familiar scent of whiskey and cedar, mixed with a hint of salted caramel. I blink, pulling myself from the depths of my thoughts, and look up to see Elias standing there. He looks haggard, a shadow of sadness etched across his features.

“Elias…” I whisper, reaching out instinctively to touch his face, wanting to understand what happened. What’s wrong, baby? I wonder to myself, but my mouth feels glued shut, unable to form the words.

He steps closer, his expression a mix of concern and longing. “I felt you,” he murmurs, his voice low and filled with emotion. “What’s going on? You’re in pain.”

The sight of him is both comforting and painful, a reminder of the bond we share, and I can feel tears prick at the corners of my eyes. “I… I just feel stuck,” I manage to say, my voice trembling. “I thought I could move on, but…”

He kneels beside me, his warm hands cradling my face as he searches my eyes. “You don’t have to go through this alone, Ivy,” he says softly, his thumb brushing away a tear that escapes down my cheek.

The sincerity in his voice breaks through the fog, and I take a shuddering breath, the weight of my emotions crashing down around me. “I’m scared,” I admit, the words spilling out before I can stop them. “Scared that I won’t be enough, that I’ll always be held back by my past.”

Elias’s gaze softens, and he pulls me into his arms, holding me tightly against him.

"You are more than enough, Ivy. You’re strong, and you’re L---so cared for. We’ll figure this out together. I promise.”

As I lean into him, the warmth of his embrace begins to melt away the heaviness in my chest. I close my eyes, allowing myself to feel safe in his arms, and for the first time in a while, I believe that maybe—I can find my way forward.

“Thank you,” I whisper, feeling a flicker of hope ignite within me. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Hmmm, I don’t know what I’d do without you, baby girl,” Elias murmurs, picking me up effortlessly and holding me against him. The warmth of his body is comforting, and I can feel the tension from earlier start to melt away.

As we leave the apartment, I catch a glimpse of Theo in the lounge room, engaged in conversation with Morgan. The sight of them brings a mix of emotions. There’s a sense of familiarity and safety in the pack, but I also feel a flicker of nerves.

As we pass by, I notice Theo’s gaze shift toward us, and he follows closely behind. Morgan catches my eye and mouths, “I love you.” I respond instinctively, blowing her an absentminded kiss, feeling a warmth spread through my chest.

Elias carries me with ease, and I can’t help but smile at the comfort of being in his arms.

“Back home,” he says, his voice low and soothing, as we step into the pack house.

Once inside, the familiar scents and sounds wrap around me, making me feel grounded. I glance around, taking in the lively atmosphere. The pack is busy preparing for dinner, laughter and chatter creating a sense of belonging that fills my heart.

Elias sets me down gently, and I find myself standing beside him, feeling a renewed sense of purpose. The earlier weight of uncertainty has lifted, replaced by the warmth of the connection I share with them.

“Are you feeling better?” Elias asks, his eyes searching mine, concern still evident in his expression.

I nod, a genuine smile breaking through. “Much better. Thank you for being here.”

He leans closer, pressing a soft kiss to my forehead. “Always, Ivy. We’re in this together.”

“Let’s make tonight special,” I say, glancing at Elias with determination. “I want to celebrate us.”

Elias grins, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “Now that’s the spirit. Let’s show them how it’s done.”

I smile.

The feeling of concern and embarrassment creep up in the back of mind as I watch him walk further into the house.

One day.

One.

With out them and I fall apart.

Ugh so embarrassing.