Chapter 45: Chapter 45

Sanoske wraps me up in his Perfect jacket, holding me close. I’m sitting on his lap, leaning into his chest, and watching the ocean. The sunrise paints the water with hues of pink, purple, and gold.

The salty sea spray kisses my face and a gentle breeze teases my hair. The only sound is the rhythmic lullaby of the waves.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Sanoske’s arms are wrapped around me, his chest rising and falling in sync with mine. I tilt my head back slightly, feeling his lips press a soft kiss to my temple. I can’t help but smile, turning my attention back to the waves.

“I never knew. It never felt like that before,” I confess.

Sanoske chuckles low in his throat. “I hope that’s a good thing,” he whispers, his hot breath sending shivers down my spine.

“It is,” I assure him.

He nuzzles my throat, peppering kisses on my salty skin. I close my eyes, letting my head fall back to give him better access.

His hands roam my body, one caressing my breast while the other ventures between my thighs. My body responds instantly, a familiar heat spreading through me.

“Alex,” he growls in my ear, his teeth tugging at my earlobe.

I gasp and giggle. He pulls me closer, resting his head on my shoulder, his gaze fixed on the ocean.

“Do you think there's somewhere we can be like this every morning?” I ask softly.

Sanoske takes a moment before answering. “I truly hope so,” he says.

“I think there must be,” I say. “The world is so much bigger than I thought. There must be someplace where we can be together. Safe.”

Sanoske doesn’t respond, instead burying his face in my neck. I feel his hot breath against my skin. I stare at the ocean, closing my eyes and letting the sound of the waves fill my mind.

I let everything go for a moment, forgetting Resistance, forgetting the establishment, the nursery where Beth bled to death, the Master house where I was forced to lie with a man who frightened me.

For a moment, all I hear are waves and all I feel is Sanoske’s warmth around me. I feel like I can finally relax.

Then I hear his sharp intake of breath, and my eyes snap open.

“What is it?” I ask.

“Can you see that? On the horizon.” He points toward the sun. I squint. Just faintly, I see something shimmering on the water. It disappears after a second.

“What was that?” I ask.

Sanoske is already peeling himself off me, grabbing his clothes. I watch him pulling his pants on, swinging his jacket over his bare chest, shoving his feet into his boots, his sword already in hand.

“Sanoske?” I push, standing and staring at him.

He stops, gazing at me. His eyes are wide.

“You’re so beautiful,” he says, stepping toward me and gathering me in his arms, running his hands over my naked skin.

I let him kiss me, softly at first, then with more urgency. His fingers dig into my hips, pulling me against him as his lips move against mine.

I feel bruised and wanting when he pulls away, my heart racing.

“Get dressed, beautiful,” he says, handing me my clothes.

“What is that, Sanoske?” I ask him as I dress.

He watches the horizon, casting glances upward at the white cliff.

“A ship,” he answers as I tie the knot of my shirt at my waist and pull my jacket on. He turns to me and smiles. “I liked it better when you didn’t have any clothes on.”

He winks. I can’t help the heat in my cheeks.

“If you like, I can just walk around naked all day. But I might get cold,” I offered, grinning.

Sanoske barks out a laugh and shakes his head.

“You’d better not. My men would have no idea what to do with themselves. I would lose all control over them. And you’d be too cold.”

He snickers. I bite down on my lip to keep from smiling too much.

Sanoske leads me back up the trail, up the white cliffs. Climbing up is a lot harder than coming down, but Sanoske holds my hand and guides me up the ruined stairs, casting his gaze every so often at the sea.

As we climb, I see the ship more clearly getting closer. The soft rays of sunlight glint off its metal frame. Sanoske wants to move faster, I can tell, but he steadies himself and holds me tightly.

When we reach the top, the ship is easily visible and seems to be slowing down. Sanoske squeezes my hand and pulls me to the door and the long staircase. We race down into the darkness.

When we get to the door at the bottom, Sanoske hesitates. I feel his hand in the darkness squeezing mine.

“Alex.”

His voice is against my ear. His arms wrap around my body and hold me tightly to his chest. Then his hands are cupping my face, and his lips crash down onto mine, hot, consuming, and urgent.

His whole body plasters itself to mine, pushing me against the side of the wall. His lips trail scorching kisses down my throat. I can barely hold on.

When he pulls back, I can feel his chest heaving.

“They can’t know about us, Alex.”

“Who?”

“The people on the ship. They can’t know. For both our safety.”

“Who are they, Sanoske?”

“Hopefully,” he says, kissing my forehead, “hopefully they’re the same people I spoke to a year ago. Can you keep it a secret, Alex?”

“Yes, I can keep it a secret.”

“Good. Let’s go in now.”

“But who are they?”

He runs his fingers through his hair and scowls. “They’re the Chinese. We made contact with them when we first landed on Albion. A lot has changed since then. We cannot be sure if we’re still allies.”

I blink at him. “So they could potentially be coming here to kill us all?”

“Possibly. Doubtfully. I’m more afraid we’ll be pressed into their forces. They’re here for the Master.”

I’m stunned.

The moment we step back into the tunnels, Sanoske is already barking out orders and sprinting ahead to rally his men. They spring into action, strapping on their weapons, lacing up their boots, and taking their defensive positions.

“Stay here for now,” Sanoske instructs me.

I can only nod and watch as he rushes back out of the room. I hurry to the bay windows. The ship has stopped, and a smaller boat is being rowed to shore. I can’t make out the people on board, but I count five.

***

Shouting echoes through the halls. There’s the scuffling of feet, weapons clashing to the ground, then the distinct sounds of men talking.

I wait in the large room until the door is pushed open and Sanoske and Kazuya appear, leading a group of four men.

They’re not like any soldiers I’ve ever seen. They wear dark-green tailored suits with bright red and gold lapels and buttons.

Their long raven-black hair is tied back at the nape of their necks, and they have slightly darker skin than the Kagegun men, as well as heavily hooded eyes.

The Kagegun men all bow as they enter. Haruhiko grabs the back of my head and pulls me into a bow as well, though the Chinese soldiers barely seem to notice.

They seem much more interested in the food that Saito begins to prepare. As Saito warms the food, we all sit and listen to Sanoske and the men.

They talk in a language I don’t know, but it seems that both Kazuya and Sanoske can speak it fluently.

There’s something magical about the new Foreigners. They are clean, they sit up straight and proudly, they speak quickly and loudly. They also eat quickly, downing the soup, rice, and oatmeal prepared for them.

For a moment, one meets my eye. He’s an older man with a pockmarked complexion. He immediately turns back to his conversation with Sanoske. Sanoske’s gaze lingers on me a second longer.

They speak and eat for another hour at least while the rest of us sit in the back of the room watching them.

Sanoske and Kazuya are very still and stoic the entire time. Their expressions show no emotions, and their tones are calm. Very rarely do they crack a smile when the Chinese soldiers roar with laughter.

Finally, the discussion seems to be over, and the six of them stand up and bow from the waist politely. Sanoske and Kazuya guide them back down the tunnel they came from while we stand up and stretch our aching joints.

I help the soldiers clean up the empty plates and the space until Sanoske and Kazuya finally return, hours later.

Sanoske barks orders to his men in Japanese, and they quickly snap to action, packing their bags immediately. Haruhiko bounces next to me.

“We have exchanged the Master for safe passage through Europe,” he exclaims. “We are finally going home!”

While I can feel him pulsating with excitement at the idea of going home, I cannot help the dread that fills me little by little. I cannot go with them. I cannot cross into Europe. I must save Beth first.

Sanoske marches through the room. When his gaze finds mine, he strides purposely to me and grabs my wrist as he passes by.

“Come,” he says, pulling me quickly down the tunnel to the armory. He shuts the door behind us.

Then he turns to me, slides his arms around my waist, and pulls me into his arms, burying his face into the crook of my neck. I feel his warm body against mine, calming my spiraling anxiety. I let myself melt into him as well.

“Alex,” I hear him whisper, his lips pressing against my skin.

He lifts his head back up, brushing his lips up my throat until he finds my lips. He pulls me deeper into a kiss, pawing at my hips as he presses me against his body.

When we finally break apart, I’m breathless and flushed. He strokes my pink cheeks lightly, his gaze snapping over my face.

“Haruhiko told me you negotiated with them. You exchanged the Master for passage through Europe,” I murmur.

Sanoske still holds me tightly, moving his fingers up my neck and slipping them into my hair.

“A year ago, when I was last in contact with them, we were still planning the attack on the Master house where you lived.” He speaks quietly, never loosening his grip on me.

“We had agreed to join our armies, to play out another attack on the Master’s headquarters in the north.

“However, after our initial attack, contact with them was impossible. They no longer answered my communications. So I brought my men to Resistance, a place I knew we could be safe while we waited.

“We had planned to meet here on this date, though I didn’t know if they would come. It was my only option after we left Resistance.”

His fingers slip from my hair, and he cups my face.

“I could not wait in Resistance any longer. I needed to get you out. Now my men are tired. My generals called us home months ago. They deserve to go home to their families.

“So I changed the terms of our agreement. The Masters have important men in worker camps. I knew a Master would be a good bargaining chip.”

“Sanoske,” I say, wrapping my arms around his neck, “you know I cannot go with you through Europe.”

I feel him stiffen, and his grasp around my waist tightens.

“I know that’s how you’re thinking, Alex. But my men and I can take you away to safety. I can take you to my home. There, we can buy a home. We can come back for Beth.”

I shake my head. “No, I need Beth now, Sanoske. I have been away from her too long. She is my baby.”

“She is safe where she is, Alex. She’s a Perfect girl, the most prized possession of Albion. No harm will come to her.”

“She might be safe, but she won’t be exempt from harm. Do you think I had a peaceful, happy childhood, Sanoske? I was building bombs, putting together rifles, and swearing my womb to Albion before I turned three years old.

“I do not want Beth to be raised by others, Sanoske. You don’t understand, I need to be with her. I need to shelter her from harm. I need to teach her to think and dream and push her boundaries.

“I will not let the mental games the Masters play defeat her thinking. I have waited long enough to hold her in my arms again.”

Sanoske rakes his fingers through his dark hair, his eyes locked on mine, lips pursed. I meet his gaze, unflinching.

“Me and a few handpicked men will accompany the Chinese north with the Master. We’ll make sure the exchange goes smoothly and our end of the deal is upheld. The rest will stay on their ship until we return.

“I figure it’ll be a good three months. I want you on that ship, Alex. It’s safer there. You don’t need to be wandering up north in this godforsaken country.”

His voice deepens, his gaze drilling into mine.

“I love you, Alex. The thought of taking you north with us goes against everything in me. I can’t risk losing you, Alex. I told you I couldn’t make any promises, and I can’t.

“But I can get you safely through Europe. That much I can do for you, Alex.”

“Sanoske, safety doesn’t mean anything if I don’t have my daughter,” I whisper back.

“I know.” He manages a small smile. “That’s why I’m hating this right now.”

“You’ll take me north?” My voice catches in my throat. Sanoske purses his lips and lets out a heavy sigh.

“I will, Alex, but on one condition,” he replies. He cradles my face, his large hands cupping my cheeks.

“Promise me you’ll listen to me, Alex. When I say run, you run. When I say hide, you hide. When I tell you not to fight, to survive, you survive.”

His voice is thick with emotion, his gaze darting across my face urgently. “Promise me, Alex,” he insists.

“I promise,” I whisper without a second thought.

His lips find mine, pulling me into another passionate kiss. His hands roam my body slowly, as if he’s savoring every second of holding me close.

When I slide my hands up his firm chest and clutch his shoulders for support, he pulls back just enough to rest his forehead against mine.

“They can’t know about us, Alex,” he murmurs. “I don’t trust them, and I don’t know what they might do to you. We’ll tell them you’re a Resistance soldier. They won’t know that they don’t train women.”

“Okay,” I agree. He brushes his lips against mine briefly.

“We leave tomorrow night,” he says. “Once we’re north, we’ll be no more than a two-day walk from the school you attended. I won’t be able to go with you, but I’ll send Kazuya.

“You have to leave and come back without anyone noticing. Can you keep Beth quiet?”

“I can,” I assure him.

He kisses my forehead gently. “I need to talk with Kazuya and pick my men. Get some rest, Alex. You’re going to need it.”

***

Despite my best efforts, sleep doesn’t come easily. The men pack quickly and sleep in shifts.

Sanoske quickly assembles his team to accompany the Chinese north: Saito, Kazuya, Haruhiko, and Takeshi. The Resistance soldiers also all choose to come.

They all pack light, sharpening their weapons, sorting their bullets, and polishing their boots.

Sanoske joins me by my cot a couple of hours before dusk. The sunlight filters in through the windows, casting an orange glow as he sinks down beside me.

He’s silent as he wraps his body around mine, holding me close. I feel his lips peppering light kisses down the back of my neck, sending a flush of warmth through my body.

He lets out a soft groan as his fingers dig into my hips, pulling me flush against him.

“I wish we could run away from all this,” he murmurs. “I wish I could take you away from all of this.”

I slowly turn in his arms to find his dark eyes glistening with unshed tears. I press my lips to his, and he responds with a breathtaking kiss. His hands roam my body, slipping under my shirt.

I gasp at the sensation of his skin against mine. He lets out another small groan and buries his face in my chest, kissing and nibbling at my skin.

I squirm with pleasure, closing my eyes and focusing on his soft touch, his lips against my skin. His small noises of satisfaction, his groans of frustration. The way his fingers grip me like he never wants to let me go.

No Perfect has ever touched me like this. The connections I had with the soldiers, though emotionally deep through shared understanding, were never physically pleasurable for me.

With Eric, it was even further from this reality. I would close my eyes and pretend to be back at school, still innocent, waiting for him to finish as quickly as possible.

Sanoske stirs up new emotions, new desires, and new dreams, and I’m struggling to keep up.