My Darling Jane: Chapter 20

After a long day at the bookstore, I’m excited and nervous for the evening ahead. Babs, ever the lifesaver, agrees to pick up Londyn and take her for a sleepover. “Make sure she eats something green, and not just a Skittle,” I remind her as I leave.

I arrive at Jasper’s apartment, my heart skipping a beat as I knock on the door. He answers, and I’m momentarily lost for words. He stands there, all casual yet undeniably sexy in dark jeans and a fitted shirt that accentuates his broad shoulders. The faint scent of his cologne hits me.

“You look amazing,” he says, his eyes appreciating my silk-blouse-and-dressy-shorts ensemble.

I find myself blushing and have to tear my gaze off him.

“Come on in. I’ve been working my ass off cooking for you. Welcome to our first official date night.”

I arch a brow. “Did you really cook?”

“No. Sorry. I ordered in from a steak house. Are you disappointed?”

“Not at all. I’m hungry.”

He takes my hand. “I did set up a table on the balcony, though. Herman, the doorman, helped me out.”

Jasper leads me through his apartment to the balcony, where a table set for two awaits.

“Wow, Jasper, this is . . .” I trail off, words failing me as I take in the view, the soft glow of candlelight. It’s romantic, and it’s been so long since anyone has made such an effort for me.

He pulls out a chair for me, a gentlemanly gesture that makes me smile. “I’ll bring the food out from the kitchen,” he says softly as he takes in my awe.

He brings the plates, fillets with creamed spinach and salad. As we eat, with the city sprawling beneath us, fear wants to trickle in. That it’s too much too soon, or that it won’t last, or that this is all just a dream.

“Cheers,” he says, raising his glass of red wine.

I clink my glass against his, shoving down my reservations as I allow myself to lean into the possibility of us. I allow myself to dream of what could be.

“You know,” I say, slicing a piece of my steak, “I made a match that went super good, and it’s funny because the computer didn’t give them a good chance, but something about them made me want to see them together.”

“What happened?”

“Well, she’s an introvert, an astronomer who spends a lot of time studying. She’s really passionate about stars and the universe, and well, he’s a professional bowler, a former fraternity guy who’s super outgoing.”

He laughs. “Yeah, those don’t seem to go together.”

“Right, but he’s also a big bird-watcher.”

“I didn’t see that coming. So, she likes birds too?”

I shake my head, musing as I smile. “No, that’s the crazy bit. She just loves being outside and looking at the sky. So, on a hunch, I suggested they give it a shot, and they called me today, gushing about their date at the planetarium. They’re going to the zoo on their next one.”

He watches me, his gaze lingering. “They made your day?”

I blush. “It’s nice when things work out.”

He nods. “It was a surprise. A good thing. A little bit of magic.”

“Yes!” I say, thrilled that he gets it. “It makes all the failed attempts worth it.” I take a sip of wine. “Tell me about your day.”

I relax into the evening as he talks. Our conversation flows naturally, and with each word, each laugh, I feel the tug toward him, toward falling in love.

After we’ve eaten, he pours me a glass of wine and gives me a long look. “Are you enjoying yourself, being alone with me?”

“Eh.”

His face falls. “‘Eh’?”

“Well, I’m a little disappointed. I was told by your nieces that you love to sing Disney tunes. And I have yet to hear a single one.”

“Ah.” He pushes away from the table, then stands and makes a big show of cracking his knuckles. “You want to hear some singing?”

I nod. “And dancing. Don’t forget the dancing.”

He holds up a finger. “One moment.”

He disappears into his apartment. A moment later, when he returns, music swells from somewhere inside. I expected “Can You Feel the Love Tonight,” but it’s “Open Arms” by Journey.

He extends a hand to me.

I blink. “What?”

“You think I can dance alone?”

He finds a spot, turns to me, and holds out his arms, leaving a space for me. This is where I’m supposed to slip between them, and we glide away, as if on air.

I hesitate.

He wiggles his fingers, like, Get over here, woman.

I go to him.

“You’re doing pretty well,” he says smoothly, sweeping me around the balcony and into the living room. His steps are sure and gentle, leading us into a slow sway that feels like we’re the only two people in the world.

I laugh. “I’m waiting for the singing.”

“Getting there. Didn’t want to overwhelm you with my magnificence all at once.”

I roll my eyes as if he’s annoying me. But it’s the opposite. With his arms around me, I feel safe, and yet I’m on a roller-coaster ride, waiting for the loop.

His hand climbs up my back, grazing over my skin with whisper-soft touches. It’s all I can do not to shiver uncontrollably. He leans in and starts to sing under his breath.

I giggle at one point, and he huffs. “You aren’t impressed?”

“You’re full of surprises,” I say, my head resting against his shoulder as we move.

The lyrics of “Open Arms” take on a new meaning as they’re woven with the warmth of his voice.

As the song comes to an end, we linger in the embrace, neither of us eager to break the spell.

“I think this qualifies as a real date now,” I say softly.

His eyes meet mine. “Best date ever,” he says, pulling me closer.

We stand there, inches from each other, something needy pulsing between us. Then his hands reach out to scoop me toward him, and he presses his lips against mine.

I surrender, my knees going weak as I sway against him, but he holds me firm.

It’s too much, and not enough. My mind spins and my body tingles with a drunken giddiness as his hands encircle my waist.

He tears his lips from my mouth with a ragged breath, pressing his lips down my throat. I cling to him, desperate, twining my fingers through his hair as his mouth continues descending my neck, dragging his hot tongue over my skin. I arch up against him, offering more of myself to him.

“Jasper,” I say, my voice weak as I reach for his T-shirt, grabbing fistfuls of material.

He grabs both my wrists with a sudden fierceness and stares into my eyes. We gaze at each other, trading breaths, until he opens his mouth, and I’m sure he’ll say something hot in reply.

“But I haven’t finished singing to you,” he says instead.

I giggle.

But then he says, “Screw it, I want you more,” and covers my mouth with his lips.

He leads me into his bedroom and pushes me against the door.

As he works his way down my body, I whimper softly. His touch is electrifying, sending shivers of anticipation through me. I’m vibrating with need. I lean against the door, helpless in his grasp, as he pulls me closer, nuzzling into my neck.

“You’re mine now,” he growls, his voice rough. He slowly traces the curve of my hip, his touch sending shivers down my spine.

His lips find mine again, his tongue demanding entry. My arms wrap around his neck, pulling him closer to me. His hand slides into my shorts as his fingers trace the line of my panties, sending a jolt straight to my core.

Jasper’s hands slide lower, his fingers brushing against my clit. I gasp, the sensation sending a firestorm of pleasure.

“Please, let’s get on the bed,” I say, my voice shaking with desperation.

He smirks against my lips, his hands still teasing me. “I’m not done with you yet.”

His tongue explores my mouth as his hand moves to cup my breast through my shirt. I moan into his mouth, my body arching toward him. I want him to touch me everywhere, to make me feel this way all over. He undoes my shorts and pushes them to my feet. Slowly, he takes off my heels.

I’m standing there in a silk shirt and my undies.

“Just wait and see,” he says as his hands trace my legs, sending shivers down my spine, his fingers grazing the sensitive skin on the inside of my thighs. I can hardly stand, wanting him to touch me everywhere all at once.

“I want to show you how good it can be, even when I go slow,” he says, his voice low. With that, he slowly pulls my panties down, revealing everything to him. I can’t breathe, my heart pounding in my chest as he looks at me, desire burning in his eyes. He unbuttons my blouse and eases it off slowly. He unclasps my bra, lets it dangle for a moment, then drops it. His hands touch me gently as he reveals my skin, as if he’s unwrapping a precious gift. I feel exposed, but also vulnerable in a way that I’ve never felt before. This man is making me feel more alive than I ever thought possible.

“You blow me away,” he murmurs, his fingers tracing the line of my hips, his thumbs brushing over my skin.

“I’m naked. Why aren’t you?”

He smiles and lifts me up. He carries me to his bed, my legs wrapping around his waist as he lowers me onto the mattress.

“It’s the anticipation that’s the best. Especially for you. You’ve been on a sex vacation, so you need to take it slow.”

I laugh. “You’re teasing me.”

He presses his forehead to mine. “Want to know a secret?”

My heart skips a beat. Do I? I’m not sure. What if his secrets draw us closer? At all costs, I must protect my heart.

“Sure,” I say as I kiss his lips lightly.

“I was a virgin until I was twenty-one. She was my college girlfriend.”

I am surprised. “Oh. Did she break your heart?”

He cocks his head thoughtfully. “It was a hard time for me. I was about to be drafted, and we drifted apart . . .” He frowns, and I wonder if there’s more to this story.

“So she’s your first love?”

He cups my face. “I don’t know why I thought of that, and I didn’t mean to ruin the mood, but I wanted you to know that I’m not really a sex fiend. I need connection too.”

A long breath comes from his chest as he gazes down at me on the bed. His hand gently traces my spine, sending waves of pleasure coursing through me. “I kept pushing her away, little by little, until one day she dumped me for someone else.”

“Why did you do that?”

“Fear. The future was uncertain. I was leaving for New York, and she still had another year of college. It felt right to let her break up with me.” He lies down on the pillow next to me and turns to face me. Our gazes hold. “Then she got married a few years later, and I got over her.”

“Do you regret it?”

He threads my hair through his fingers. “We never would have made long distance work, not with me being so busy in the NFL. My whole life changed when I moved to New York.”

“We all have a first love. We all get broken hearts.”

“I don’t want to break your heart.”

His words make my breath catch in my throat. A resolute feeling grows inside me. I won’t let him. I can’t.

“This is just sex, Jasper. Something I’ve been missing for way too long. If it wasn’t you, I might find someone else.” It’s not true but . . .

His jaw flexes, and he presses a hard kiss on my lips. “Don’t say that.”

He whips off his shirt and tosses it at the foot of the bed. His jeans are next. Naked, he gets up to light some of the candles in the room, the light flickering against the dark walls. It feels like we’re separate from the world in here, just me and him.

He hops back on the bed, making me laugh. He gives me a wink before trailing kisses down my neck and collarbone toward my breasts. His tongue swirls around one nipple while his hand massages the other.

“Angel,” he says as he places me on top of him so I’m straddling him while he sits with his back against the headboard.

We stare at each other. Feeling shy at the intensity of his gaze, I trace patterns on his chest.

“Look at me.”

I lift my gaze, and he cups my cheek. My breath quickens as the moment stretches between us, full of emotion.

His breathing, slow and even, chases away the doubts that itch to get inside my head. That I’m treading on thin ice with my heart in his hands. This moment is all that matters.

I rest my head on his shoulder.

His hand cards through my hair. “Kiss me, angel,” he whispers as his fingers find mine, entwining them.

I do, reaching up to brush my mouth against his sweetly.

He kisses down my neck, his lips leaving a trail of fire on my skin. His fingers then slip inside me, and I gasp, my breath caught in my throat as he begins to explore. He moves slowly, savoring me.

I reach over and grab the condom sitting on the nightstand.

His deep voice vibrates against my neck as he murmurs his approval. I roll the condom down his thick length, my fingers tracing every ridge and vein as if they’re sacred. The head of his cock brushes against my entrance. He groans, and with one long stroke, he penetrates me fully, stretching me out so exquisitely.

His eyes lock with mine, filled with something I can’t define. His hands roam across my back, tracing every dip and curve as he guides us both into a rhythm that feels intimate.

I lean down to capture his bottom lip between my teeth, tugging gently as I grind against him. The friction makes us whimper, our breaths becoming ragged as our pace picks up.

The sheets beneath us rustle softly. Our skin slapping against skin creates an erotic sound against the silence of our room. He cups my ass cheek in his hand, pulling me closer still while driving deeper inside me. Every thrust causes a spiral of need inside me.

My muscles tense up and release with each of his thrusts, making my toes curl. His muscular chest flexes beneath my hands as I rest them on his shoulders for support, feeling the play of muscles beneath his skin. The headboard thuds against the wall in time with us, ratcheting up the intensity.

His lips find my jawline, and he nips softly as he groans into my skin. “Fuck, you feel so good,” he says hoarsely against my ear. I gasp as his scruff tickles my skin as he nibbles at it hungrily while thrusting, claiming me completely.

I grab on to his thick biceps for leverage, digging my nails into his skin slightly as I’m lost in the feeling of him.

My inner walls grip him tightly, clenching around his cock in an effort to draw out every last drop of pleasure. His teeth graze my collarbone, leaving goose bumps in their wake. His fingers dig into my hips.

My nipples brush against his chest with every move, sending electric shock waves through both of us.

Pleasure builds in my spine as he rubs my nub.

I arch my back, meeting him stroke for stroke while he continues to circle my clit.

My climax builds, a tidal wave of desire, until I’m at the edge of madness.

The edge of the cliff waits, and I tumble over as I orgasm, my muscles fluttering around his cock. He watches me, soaking in every expression I make. I watch as his lashes flutter and he goes over with me. He presses his forehead against mine, panting heavily as he holds on to me tightly.

My breath catches in my throat at the tenderness in his eyes. He kisses me softly on the lips, then wraps his strong arms around me protectively.

“You can stay, right?” he murmurs.

I nod. Babs is taking Londyn to preschool in the morning.

Pure boyish glee lights his face as he pulls back the covers and helps me get under them. After getting rid of the condom, which I checked to make sure was still on, he jumps back in bed and snuggles in behind me. He pulls me against him and throws an arm around me, then yawns.

“You’re going to sleep? It’s not even ten o’clock.”

“Hmm. I feel good. You feel good. We sleep.”

I’m ready for more, for a night without worrying about Londyn in the next room. Yet he wants to sleep. It’s cute.

I snuggle closer to his warm body, feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest against my back. Comfort floods over me, and I bask in it.

I’ve been so lonely, and this feels so right.

As we lie there in the quiet, a thought tugs at the edges of my mind. It feels like I’ve known him for a lifetime. There’s something about the way he holds me, the way he looks at me, that tells me this could be more, but . . .

“How is it that you make me feel so safe?”

He shifts slightly behind me, his arm tightening around my waist. “It’s because you are safe with me,” he replies gently. “I will protect you. From Tomas. From whatever you need.”

But he’d protect anyone.

A surge of emotion wells up in my chest, and I turn in his embrace, facing him as I search his eyes for the truth. “But why? Why me? What is it about me that makes you want to keep me safe?”

“When people are meant to know each other, they just do. That’s it, plain and simple. Me and Tuck were always meant to be friends. Graham too. Now you.”

He brushes his thumb across my lips, silencing my doubts with a gentle touch. “Why all the questions?”

“Sex makes me energized, I think,” I finally say.

“Hmm, I like holding you. If I snore, just elbow me, yeah? Can you wait for round two until the morning?”

I take a deep breath, allowing his words to sink in. He wants to hold me? How could I have missed that Jasper truly isn’t the macho jerk I thought early on when we first met?

Leaning in, I capture his lips with mine, conveying the depth of my feelings through the simple act. As our mouths move together in sync, it’s as if everything else fades away.

Minutes or hours could pass as we remain lost in our own little universe. Eventually, our lips part, but the feelings I have for him remain unbroken.

“Angel,” he murmurs sleepily, “thank you.”