My Darling Jane: Chapter 31
My Darling Jane (The Darlings)
Here I am, in Janeâs hospital suite, heart racing as I walk the floor.
Babs leans against the wall. âJasper, youâre pacing so much youâre going to wear a hole in the floor.â
Andrew flips through a magazine, seemingly at ease. âDude, you need to chill. Babies come when they come. And screaming moms are totally normal,â he says, not looking up.
I know heâs trying to be helpful, but his words are like gasoline on my already blazing anxiety.
âIâm not screaming,â Jane announces from her bed grumpily. âI want everyone out of here, except Jasper and Emmy.â
The nurse chuckles under her breath as she tells me that it wonât be much longer now and leaves the room.
I return to Janeâs side, taking her hand in mine. Her grip is strong, and I wince.
âHey,â I say, trying to sound more confident than I feel. âYouâre doing amazing, you know that?â
Jane shoots me a look. âI feel like Iâm trying to bench-press a truck.â
I laugh, and she cracks a smile, which is all Iâm aiming for.
âIf anyone can bench-press a truck, itâs you, angel. Youâre strong.â
Babs and Andrew leave, mumbling something about getting coffee. Itâs just me, Jane, and the faint beeping of monitors now. I pull up a chair closer to her bed, not wanting to let go of her hand.
Emmy hovers near the door, her phone in hand, probably texting updates to the family chat. âYou got this, sis,â she says, before stepping out to give us some space.
Janeâs breathing changes, her focus inward, and Iâm in awe. âTalk to me,â she says between breaths. âDistract me.â
âWhat do you want to hear?â I ask, ready to recite the dictionary if itâll help.
âTell me why you love me,â she says.
âWhere do I start?â I squeeze her hand. âI love you because youâre the bravest person I know. You face everything head-on, no matter how tough it is. I love how you make me laugh, how you argue with me. I love your fierce loyalty to those you care about, how youâve welcomed me into your life and made me feel like I belong.â
She listens, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.
âI love how you are with Londyn, how youâre going to be with our baby. Youâre going to be an incredible mom to two or three or four or five, and I canât wait to see it.â
Janeâs grip tightens, another contraction rolling through her. âKeep talking,â she breathes out.
âAnd I love that youâre making me a father,â I continue. âI canât imagine doing this with anyone else. You, me, Londyn, and this little one on the way, weâre a team.â
She relaxes slightly. âThank you,â she says, her eyes meeting mine with a love so deep it nearly knocks me off my feet.
The nurse returns, checking the monitors, then Jane. âItâs almost time,â she says, and everything in me tightens with anticipation.
Janeâs brow furrows as another wave of contractions hits. âJasper, I think . . . I think I want the epidural.â
I chuckle nervously, remembering the pact we made. âUh, babe, remember? You made me swearâon my first batch of lasagnaâthat I wouldnât let you cave for the epidural. You were very specific: âEven if I beg, plead, or threaten to name our child after a football player from a rival team.ââ
She glares at me, her gaze enough to make a lesser man flee. âI was not in labor when I made that promise.â
âBut you said you wanted to go all natural. You compared yourself to a warrior queen.â
Her grip on my hand tightens, her nails digging in just enough to remind me that she means business. âIâd happily trade my warrior-queen crown for a nice, big shot in the back.â
âCome on, now. Youâre doing amazing. Remember the breathing techniques? Hee-hee-hoo, hee-hee-hoo?â
âHee-hee-hoo yourself. If you donât get that anesthesiologist in here right now, Iâm going to start thinking up some very creative names for our son.â
âAll right, all right. Iâll get the nurse.â
It was too late for the epidural, and now heâs here. I stand, holding my son for the first time, the weight of this tiny life in my arms, emotions washing over me. Heâs so small, so fragile.
As I look down at his peaceful face, awe fills me. His fingers, his soft breathsâevery detail about him is a marvel.
Memories of my own mother, the one who brought me into this world, flash through my mind. The abandonment I felt for so long, the questions that clouded my heart, they all seem to converge in this single moment.
As I gaze at my son, I realize something. The pain of my past, the absence of my biological motherâitâs all led me to this. Itâs taught me what it means to truly love, to give unconditionally, to be the parent I never had.
I see a future filled with love, a promise to be there for him in all the ways I missed growing up. I silently vow to give him the security that every child deserves.
He will never question his worth. I will be there for every step, every fall, every triumph.
As I look up to see Jane watching me, gratitude hits. Weâve created a new beginning for us as a family.
The sun slips through the blinds, and I blink. We havenât slept a bit. But Iâm not tired. Because I know this is the start of everything I want.
Most of all, I want her.
Completely. Forever.
With our son sleeping in the hospital bassinet next to the bed, I hold Janeâs face in my hands and kiss her.
Her eyelids flutter as she says sleepily, âI love you.â
And for the first time in my life, Iâm too dumbstruck to think of a single punch line. The only thing I can think of is what Iâm feeling with every cell of my body. âI love you, too, Jane. And Londyn. And Jace Andrew Jannich.â
I stand in our apartment, battling a dirty diaper. At three months, our little guy is all gassy smiles, oblivious to the assault heâs unleashed. Itâs July, over a year since we first got together. Just last month, we were married in a quiet ceremony with our family around us, but now, itâs back to the real world.
âAll right, champ, letâs tackle this,â I say as I open the diaper. The stench slams into me, and I gag. âJane! This is a two-person job!â
Londyn struts in, eyeing the situation with disdain. âMom, Jasperâs being weird again!â
âI donât like the poop,â I whine.
âYouâre such a drama queen,â she says as she rolls her eyes and walks back out.
âThis is biohazard-level stuff,â I argue to no one, fumbling for wipes and a clean diaper, wishing I had paid more attention during those YouTube tutorials.
Jane floats in, ever the calm one. âStruggling?â
I give her my best help-me eyes.
She laughs, taking over with the skill of a seasoned pro. âYouâll get the hang of it. Itâs all in the wrist.â
I watch in awe as she wraps up the job with finesse. Her transition from bookstore manager to matchmaking CEO from our apartment has been seamless, leaving Babs to run the bookstore.
âDiaper crisis averted,â she announces, washing up. âYou owe me.â
I pull her close and kiss her lips. âI owe you everything.â
Just then, Londyn tugs at my sleeve, all business. âPark? You promised to take me on the lake.â
I nod, energized. âPark it is.â
I glance back at Jane, whoâs watching us with an all-encompassing love.
In the chaos of new fatherhood and the family I never knew I needed, I realize that lifeâs surprises arenât just twists in the roadâno, theyâre the stepping stones guiding us to where weâre meant to be. Every unexpected turn has brought me to a destiny I couldnât have dreamed of. My family is my unexpected destiny, with love that binds us all together. And itâs more beautiful than I ever could have hoped.