thirty
White ceilings, why does every room have white ceilings? My old bedroom, the first room I woke up in at Theo's pack, the room Dexter took me to and of course, this room, in Xavier's house. Goddam white ceilings.
I roll over in bed, only to come face to face with a white wall. "Why must everything be white?!" I mutter, swinging my legs over the side of the bed wrapping the duvet around me.
Moving into the middle of the room I plonk onto the ground surrounded by a fluffy white duvet. I've never been a good sleeper and recently I've found myself sitting on the floor more and more often. I'm not really sure why I'm so drawn to the hard surface, something about it is oddly comforting.
I shut my eyes, there's still so much I don't know. But, there isn't much else I'm going to learn. No one is willing to tell me the whole story, they'll hint at things and make off-handed comments but it's not enough. It's never going to be enough, not while my own memories are off limits.
My entire life up until this point has been controlled by other people. Every corner I've turned has revealed another character who knows more than me, like everyone's read the book and I've only seen the title.
Okay; I have no wolf conscious but I managed to shift anyway, I have no memories from before I was ten-years-old, I can't access my memories otherwise I'll die, my life is tied to some witch who lives in Europe, I have two mates, there are two very scary powerful Alpha's looking for me and apparently I can't leave America.
What am I meant to do go back to Theo? I'm sure he'd take me back. Although, someone wanted us to be mates so badly they brought in a witch to ensure it. There was the incident where he cheated on me and left me with a complete stranger. I'm not going back there.
I could always return to my old pack. I'm sure they'd all be so excited for me to return and be Luna. It would stop this man hunt for me and maybe as Luna I can do good, maybe my werewolf will finally come out. Then again, even if I could do all of that, there's no way Alpha Michael would ever let me learn. Learn about werewolves, the supernatural order, the Weresile, my past. After everything it took for me to leave, I can't go back.
That leaves Xavier. I could stay in hiding with him, put Xavier and everyone else in danger with my presence, force him to take sides when it's his job to put the supernatural order above all else and then what? I just hide here forever here half in the dark about my own past all the while burdening Xavier as a weak Luna? Absolutely not. I can't. I won't do this to Xavier.
I need answers, I need to be free. That's why I ran the first time, that's why I'm still running. Hopefully this time I'll run right into what I'm looking for. If I am as gifted and powerful as everyone believes then I should be okay on my own.
How hard can surviving alone be anyway?
I stand up, pacing back and fourth. How am I going to get out of here? I'm weak, I have no control over when I shift and even if I do manage that, Xavier is the head of the Weresile, I doubt he's easy to outrun.
I need another way. A way to sneak out. "UGH!" I cry out slumping onto the bed, staring at the blank walls around me. Wait, the painting, the secret tunnels, I can use them. I'm sure they're easy to follow.
I shut my eyes, am I really doing this? I'm really just going to leave Xavier and everyone else? My heart breaks at the thought, being around Xavier makes me feel safe and loved and enough. It's all I ever wanted when I was trapped in my old pack and yet, somehow it's not enough anymore.
Now I know I need more than the answers Xavier can give me. As long as I stay here I'll remain trapped within the limitations of my memories. After sixteen years of being caged and kept in the dark I'm not doing it for my whole life.
I am Isabelle. I am a true Luna. I am a werewolf. I am powerful. I am strong. I can do this. I've survived this long without a wolf, I can keep going.
This is it, one final time. I have to go, I have to runaway.
My eyes fly open as the realisation hits me. A throwaway idea, a brief thought, a reoccurring notion, this is how it was always meant to be.
It's my story, not Michael's, not Theo's, not Xavier's, it's mine and I'm doing it my way.
With that I stand, swinging open the door only to enter and entirely white hallway. Seriously why is everything white around here?
"Isabelle?" I spin around, Xavier stands before me a towel rapped around his waist, water dripping from his hair. My heart stops, it should be a crime to look this good in a towel. "I didn't expect you to be up so early."
I blink, Xavier lives here? I know he stayed here in the beginning when I was a flight risk but I stopped seeing him so I just assumed he went back to his house. But I guess I've just never been up early enough to see him.
"Isabelle?" Xavier repeats uncertainty laces his tone.
His words bring me back to earth, "what time is it?" I ask casually doing my best to ignore Xavier's half naked body in front of me.
"It's 6 A.M." Xavier replies taking a small step towards me. Just the small movement has my heart beat doubling in speed, damn this mate bond.
"You get up at 6 A.M every morning?" I ask attempting to keep the conversation innocuous.
"I get up at 5 to workout and shift before work." Xavier says with a smile, I stare at him completely dumbfounded. This whole time, I never even bothered to ask about Xavier's daily life.
"Ohh," is all I can mange as Xavier closes the distance between us a frown forming on his face.
"Why are you up so early Belle, is something wrong?" His voice is soft, like he's talking to a wounded animal and that look in his eyes, so worried, so sad. I know Xavier cares about me but I'm sick of people looking at me like I'm a helpless child or a pawn in a chess game.
"Nothings wrong, I just woke up early I guess," I say in a tone five decibels higher than my normal voice.
Xavier shakes his head, clearly unconvinced. "Let me get dressed and then I can make us breakfast, meet me in the kitchen in 10 minutes." With that Xavier turns away and the spell is broken. My heart returning to it's natural rhythm, I move back into my own bedroom pulling out clothes to get dressed.
By the time I arrive in the kitchen Xavier is already cooking. Now fully dressed, I study him from the doorway. He looks much more alive than he did that day I first woke up, his green eyes sparkling as he turns to me, "what do you want for breakfast?"
I open my mouth to reply but no words form, I've never been asked what I want for breakfast before. I've only ever eaten whatever was left over, "just toast is fine." I mumble sitting down, my eyes following Xavier's every move. He seems different to before, more relaxed, almost carefree.
"Any requests for what you want on the toast?" Xavier turns to me a smile on his face.
"Umm," is all I can manage, I've never been given options before.
"It's okay, I can't imagine you had a lot of choice in your previous living conditions. I recommend avocado and smoked salmon, it's an incredible combination."
"Are you sure? Isn't that expensive?"
Xavier cocks his head slightly at my words, "Belle you shouldn't be worrying about the price of the food, only what foods you want to try."
"Okay, I mean if it's not trouble. I can do it myself, I d-."
"I'm standing here cooking eggs for myself, it's absolutely no trouble." I watch Xavier pull the bread from the toaster, cutting open the avocado and spreading it onto the bread. For a minute I can see it, the life I would have here with him. It would be filled with love, beautiful food and I would be safe. If this was two months ago I would've stayed, remained in the arms of a man who I know will always protect me. But now it's different, I'm different.
Once upon a time all I wanted was to escape, to be free and to be loved by my mate. Then I learnt about witches, vampires, spells, bloodlines and I've barely scratched the surface. I can tell you the history of the human world, the origins of war, what each political party stands for, but I barely know a thing about the supernatural one.
I know Xavier will tell me everything he can and maybe one day I'll persuade him to help me delve into my past and venture to Europe with me; one day.
I need to know, I need to leave before I get too comfortable in this life, this beautiful life. I've read countless novels and watched a crazy amount of movies, enough to know that there are different types of heroines. There are those who leap head first into danger irregardless of how it will hurt the people around them, those who only want to protect the people they love and have somehow found themselves in the midst of mayhem, those who reject their own power and attempt to flee. But no matter what kind of heroine each character is, they all have one thing in common; they care. Even if they try to hide it or run from it, they care about the world, they care about those around them and they want the best.
I'm being hunted and to ensure the safety of Xavier and all those I come into contact with, it's time for me to move on and find the answers I so desperately crave.
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Wowee it's been a while!
I'm finally  back with chapter thirty and as I'm sure you can tell this story is coming to an end. However, it is only the beginning of Isabelle's journey, I do plan on writing a sequel to this book once this is finished so get excited, there are many more adventures left for Isabelle.
Thank you all for your continued support and for reading my book even with sporadic updates. I am grateful for each and every one of you.
xoxo
p.s sorry for any grammatical errors, feel free to correct them!