Chapter 10

The sounds of New York City pulsated into Dusty's eardrums. There was the constant honking of car horns interspersed with the high-pitched squeal of a siren. It was an endless drone of noise, which didn't stop even after she'd closed the door to her one-room apartment.

"Dare I say, I prefer the trailer," Dust commented as he placed a cardboard box full of Dusty's belongings onto the bare wooden floor.

"Dust, be kind," Kayla berated her son. Then she looked around the small space herself and felt her heart drop. He had been right to state that the trailer dwelling back in West was preferable.

Dusty's new apartment was tiny. One square space comprised the foldaway bed, currently hidden in the wall, and a miniature kitchen area, that was basically a camping stove and a sink; there was no fridge. Behind a partition was a toilet and shower. All basic and squashed together as though a whole house had been forced to exist within someone's hallway.

Moving to the grime-covered window, Kayla glanced down at the street below, where they'd previously exited their yellow taxi and walked up three flights of stairs to Dusty's apartment. The building didn't have an elevator.

"It was all I could afford," Dusty explained, not bothered about the cramped living conditions. She'd found somewhere she could live alone, in New York, which she knew was huge. She didn't want to be living with strangers. She'd be talking with Ashley every night anyway, so she wouldn't feel lonely.

"It just needs a good cleaning, that's all." Kayla smiled. "And we're here to help."

"Thanks, Mom." Dusty began unpacking what few belongings she'd brought with her as Kayla commenced cleaning the apartment with the various products she'd bought back in West.

She bleached the toilet and the sink, and vacuumed the wood floors and the pull-down mattress before turning her attention to the window. If her daughter had to live somewhere so small and shabby, at least it would be clean, she told herself as she scrubbed furiously.

Dust helped his sister unpack, lifting heavier items for her like her duffel bag and boxes filled with books. "You've got an iPad," he exclaimed as he delved into one of the boxes, retrieving the electronic device and looking at it admiringly.

"Yeah, Ashley bought it for me so we could talk each night," Dusty explained.

"Must be nice to have rich friends." Dust raised his eyebrows.

"Is it expensive?" Kayla asked, homing in on their conversation.

"No," Dusty answered while at the same time her brother said the opposite.

"Well, which is it?" Kayla demanded.

"They cost a couple hundred bucks," Dust told her.

"Dusty, you can't keep something so expensive here," Kayla said, lowering her voice as if potential thieves were already listening in on them. "It's not safe."

"I'll keep it with me," Dusty explained, having already decided not to leave anything of value in the apartment while she was at work. Her eyes involuntarily glided over to the front door that secured by a deadbolt and a chain.

"We'll fit another dead bolt before we go," Kayla said, her eyes looking in the same direction. "Won't we, Dust?"

"Yeah, sure." Dust shrugged. "While you're at it, why not get yourself a gun?" He made the comment flippantly and then continued unpacking, not noticing how his words made both his mother and sister freeze in terror.

"We don't use guns in this family," Kayla said after a long pause, her voice pinched.

"Jeez, Mom." Dust sighed dramatically, retaining the petulance of his teenage years. "I didn't mean anything by it! I mean, he's been dead ten years. When are you going to let stuff go! If Dusty got a gun, she'd be safer than if she didn't have one," Dust said, his hands bunching in fists by his sides.

Kayla looked at him, her chin quivering. "Dust, why don't you go grab me that new deadbolt?"

Dusty suggested. "I spotted a hardware store just down the block." Dust looked intently at his sister, understanding that she was trying to remove him to alleviate the tension. He resisted for a moment and then sighed, not having the energy to argue with them.

"Okay, I'll be back in ten." He pulled open the apartment door and disappeared down the communal stairwell. Kayla remained troubled, her eyes beginning to water.

"Mom, he doesn't mean anything by it," Dusty told her as she found within her box the framed picture of her father. "He just doesn't remember it all as well as we do," Dusty concluded, placing the photograph by her window, her father's beaming image looking in on her small apartment, watching over her.

"That's just it," Kayla said despondently. "He's starting to forget. And that's the worst part." Dusty didn't like to say it, but she knew that Dust's fading memories weren't the worst part. The worst part was that now both children had left home, leaving Kayla alone with nothing but her own memories of the past to haunt her.

Dust was college bound, and Dusty would now be living in a big city far away. As much as Dusty wanted to stay in West, to be there for her mother, she knew it wouldn't be fair. She wouldn't be honoring her father that way. He'd have wanted her to get out and live her life, explore the world as much as she possibly could.

"You know, you can call me on this," Dusty said, showing her Mom the iPad.

"I wouldn't know how," Kayla said.

"But you could learn. The computers at the library in West are free to use. You could call me for free on them whenever you wanted, and you'd get to see me too."

"Really? All on that?" Kayla looked uncertainly at the small plastic rectangle in Dusty's hand.

"Yeah, it's really simple. I can show you. You could talk to Dust at college through the Internet too."

"Your father would have loved that." Kayla gave a bittersweet smile. "He'd have rushed out and bought us all one."

"Yeah." Dusty placed the iPad inside her now unpacked Chanel bag, determined to keep it with her at all times. It was to be her lifeline to her family and friends. Since returning from Europe, she was already missing Ashley, wishing that they were still living together and sharing their experiences instead having them on different sides of America.

"Has Ashley settled in to her new job?" Kayla asked.

"Yeah, you know Ashley, everyone loves her." Dusty smiled. She envied Ashley's natural confidence; people were always drawn to her. Dusty worried that it wouldn't be so easy for her to make new friends when she started work on Monday. The prospect of starting a new job was becoming increasingly daunting.

"You'll do fine at work," Kayla said, sensing the root of Dusty's unease. "You're a hard worker; that will serve you well."

"Thanks, Mom."

"What about Kyera? Is she still in the hospital?"

"I... I don't know," Dusty admitted. "I tried calling her when I got back, but she hasn't returned my calls, which is to be expected."

"She's got a lot to deal with," Kayla said softly. "I'm sure she'll be in touch when she's feeling better."

"Yeah," Dusty agreed, but she wasn't sure. She knew how stubborn Kyera could be, and she was beginning to fear that she might be so bitter that she would freeze her out for the rest of her life, and that pained her, as she knew she'd miss her.

Being somewhere new, making a new start terrified Dusty to the point where she desperately wanted to cling to remnants of her past, to find comfort in those she already knew. The door to the apartment creaked open, and Dust re-entered brandishing two new deadbolts and a rape alarm, which he tossed across to Dusty.

"Put that on your keys," he ordered her. Dusty looked at it and smiled.

"I will, thanks, Dust."

"And if a guy starts anything, kick him in the nuts and run," Dust told her, his face serious.

"Okay, got it."

"I'm not having no sister of mine attacked," Dust declared before busying himself with attaching the new locks to the door to ensure maximum security.

"You sure you're going to be okay here?" Kayla asked. Dust's mention of attacks was making her even more nervous about the whole situation.

"Mom, I'm going to be fine," Dusty reassured her. She wanted to point out that nowhere was ever really safe. That her father had been gunned down in the small town of West meant nowhere was what it seemed, but she didn't. Kayla was clearly oversensitive about her leaving and reacting badly to any comments that could be associated with Dusty's father.

"I'll learn how to call you on that... thing." Kayla gestured towards where the iPad had been.

"Mom's going online?" Dust laughed as he screwed in the first deadbolt. "No way, that's amazing! Next she'll be online dating." He smirked at Dusty, and she returned his smile.

"Oh no, none of that," Kayla said quickly. She knew that she would never move on, the pain she'd felt when she lost her husband had run too deep to ever heal. Watching her children grow up and flourish would have to provide all the happiness she'd ever need.

A heated debate on the sidewalk below carried up to the apartment through the closed window. A man and a woman were screaming at each other as they walked past. Kayla looked down in disapproval and then glanced pityingly at Dusty. "It's a colorful neighborhood." Dusty shrugged.

"It's dangerous is what it is," Kayla said, her cool demeanor of acceptance cracking. She was terrified at the thought of Dusty living alone in the city; her mind kept conjuring a multitude of horrible things that could happen to her. The thoughts kept her awake at night, refusing to let her rest.

"No more dangerous than a trailer park," Dust quipped as he finished the second deadbolt.

"The park is fine," Kayla said.

"Yeah, if you like living next to drug dealers."

"Dust—" Kayla began, but he cut her off.

"The point I'm making, Mom, is that Dusty will be fine looking out for herself because she's already been doing it for so long. We've had to toughen up a hell of lot growing up, but that will help her now. You really don't have to stress yourself stupid."

Kayla had to admit that if Dusty had gone straight from their luscious suburban home to New York, then she'd have been distraught, but the truth was that life had already been so tough on her daughter that surely there was nothing left that could faze her.

"Well, your door is all done," Dust declared, testing the deadbolts to ensure that they worked.

"Thanks." Dusty smiled at him and then looked sadly at her small apartment. It was such a far cry from the bedroom she'd shared with Ashley back in Princeton. She almost wanted to cry at the distance between them. Her old life at college was starting to feel like a mirage, as though it had belonged to someone else and was merely a dream.

"Let's go out for dinner," Kayla said, watching Dusty's face drop and wanting to cheer her up.

"We've still got a few hours before our train, and I saw a small diner on the corner of the block."

"Okay," Dusty agreed, slinging her Chanel bag over her shoulder, dropping her keys and her alarm inside.

"You're going to do well here, honey, I just know it," Kayla confirmed.

"Yeah, it's like you're starring in your very own show." Dust smiled. "Dusty's sex in the shabby city."

"No sex," Kayla said mockingly. "Now let's go eat, I'm starving."