Chapter 16

Continuing to walk towards work, Dusty tried to distract her mind from Valentine. She often tortured herself imagining what she was doing, or who she was seeing. Despite what her letter said, she imagined Valentine had a girlfriend now, maybe something even more serious. It had been years since they'd last seen one another.

As romantic a notion it was to believe that a flame still existed between them, the harsh reality was that if they met in person, the small flicker would instantly be quashed. It was the myth which held Dusty to her, she consoled herself, the myth of what could have been, of the one that got away. Maybe if she actually saw her, she could finally break that spell and move on with her life.

She was planning to spend Christmas in West with her mom and Dust. She was determined to seek Valentine out during that time. She needed the closure. "Penny for your thoughts," Jeff said as Dusty dreamily entered the elevator, not even noticing that her boss was standing right beside her.

"They're worth much more than that." Dusty smiled, taking a sip of her latte.

"You're going to need that coffee." Jeff glanced at the cup she was holding. "It's going to be a long day, I'm afraid." Jeff hadn't been exaggerating. It was close to eight in the evening when Dusty finally completed her final assignment of the day. Again, it was the end-of-month surge and twice the workload of normal.

But since her mugging, Dusty wasn't expected to use the subway when she worked late. Instead, the company reimbursed her cab fare home. Small gestures like that made her feel appreciated by Goldstone. They didn't take her for granted and went to great lengths to express that.

"It's a good company to work for," Dusty told her mother. "There's even talk of maybe getting a raise." There had been talks for weeks of Dusty getting a raise, and soon her probationary period would be up, and negotiations over her salary would be entered into, but she didn't want to get her hopes up. If she could afford to live in a nicer part of the city, then she'd be happy enough.

"I'm glad they're looking after you," Kayla said, but Dusty couldn't see her. Her mother couldn't get her head around Skype despite both of her children giving her a tutorial, so instead she called the old-fashioned way.

"And are you okay, Mom?" Dusty asked, concerned. She didn't like to picture her mother alone in her trailer. It was such a sad scene to imagine.

"I'm fine, sweetheart. What matters to me is that you're okay."

"I'm fine, Mom," Dusty said.

Her mother, now alone back in West, had worked so hard to ensure a decent future for her children, and she'd had to give up so much in the process. The beautiful family home they'd once lived in felt like a distant memory from another lifetime, as if it had been in a dream once, a dream that lingered long past the point of waking up.

"I'm very proud of you, Dusty-Rose. Don't forget that," Kayla said softly into the phone. And she was. As she sat in her small trailer, talking to her daughter in New York City, Kayla Black felt happy and at peace. For her, it had all been worth it. Working two jobs to make ends meet, never being home, being forced to live in a trailer and give up all her worldly goods, all that had come good because her children were doing well, and that was all that she cared about.

****

Dusty signed off another call to her mother with a heavy heart. With the call concluded, she stood in the window of her apartment, looking at the street beyond. When she was at college, she didn't really get homesick. Having Ashley there with her kind of felt like being with family, so Dusty never felt alone or lonely. But in the city, it was different. Dusty spent so much of her time working that she didn't really get the opportunity to make friends, and most of her colleagues were older than her anyway, so they didn't have much in common.

Dusty missed being surrounded by familiar faces. She was even beginning to miss West, the small hometown she'd been so eager to leave. Everything seemed so simple back there. The pace of life was slower; there were fields and wide-open roads. In New York, space was at a premium, and everything felt crammed together.

At first Dusty didn't mind, but now as she walked through the city, she'd look up and feel claustrophobic when she saw the steel giants of skyscrapers bearing down on her. The air always smelt of car exhausts and fried food. Dusty longed to inhale fresh, clean air. When she caught sight of her reflection, she noticed how pale and withdrawn she looked, a product of existing mainly indoors.

Even commuting to work, she was mostly indoors, doing the majority of her travelling beneath the city on the subway. Absence seemed to have truly made her heart grow fonder as she thought about parts of West that she missed, even the loathed trailer park was now not without its charms. It was at least open and full of clean air.

Groaning, Dusty moved and lay down on her bed, reaching for her iPad. She needed to take her mind off thoughts of home. She considered watching a film or television show, but it was never the same without someone to share it with. Living alone was taking its toll on Dusty. She even started going to the office seven days a week just to avoid being alone for prolonged periods. But Jeff had noticed and called her into his office.

"You've been putting in a lot of hours lately," he noted, nodding to himself.

"I'm just eager to get the work done." Dusty smiled across from him in the black leather chair she was sitting on.

"And that's great. I appreciate all the extra effort." Jeff smiled back, but then the smile fell away slightly. "It's just that here at Goldstone, we believe in a work life balance, and we try and uphold that as best we can. Since you've been working so much, you've earned yourself a week off."

"But I don't want a week off," Dusty protested, her eyes widening with fear.

"Look, I know the city can be a scary place when you're alone," Jeff said knowingly, his tone soft and kind. "But maybe use the time to make some new friends, go out to places and meet new people."

Dusty knew that Jeff was just looking out for her, but she didn't have the heart to tell him that the thought of going anywhere alone, like the cinema or a club, was utterly terrifying. She missed the constant support of having Ashley around. Or even Kyera or Valentine. Despite living amongst millions of people, Dusty had yet to meet anyone she felt that she really connected with.

"I'll try to meet some new people," Dusty lied.

"Good." Jeff smiled warmly at her. Dusty didn't tell her mother that she had a week off work. She knew there would be an expectation for her to return to West, and she couldn't afford it as she already had to save for the train fare to go back over Christmas, which was ridiculously expensive. It seemed that people got fleeced when they all inevitably wanted to return home for the holidays. So with a week alone in the tiny apartment looming before her, Dusty felt despondent.

She considered calling Ashley and begging her to come stay with her, but she knew that wasn't fair. Ashley had her own career to deal with and was working hard to establish herself within the difficult arena that is politics. With her eyes trained to the ceiling, Dusty began to trace a crack that extended from one corner to the center of the room. She wondered what had caused it and who had been in the room when it happened.

When she thought about who else might have slept in her bed, it usually freaked her out. She tried to console herself with thoughts that the previous occupant was someone just like her, starting out in the city and trying to make their way. Dusty was lost in thought when her phone started to ring, making her jump. She fumbled for it, still lying on her back, and glanced briefly at the name flashing on the screen.

When she registered it, she quickly sat bolt upright, not quite believing her eyes. The incoming call was from Kyera. Dusty pressed the accept button and put the device to her ear. "Hello?" she said uneasily, her voice sheepish.

"Dusty, hey." Kyera's familiar voice came flooding through the speaker, though she sounded equally nervous.

"Kyera. How are you? I've texted you a few times but hadn't heard anything back. I was worried about you," Dusty admitted, her initial nerves relenting a little.

"I'm sorry. I should have gotten back to you," Kyera said, her voice regretful.

"Are you okay now? Are you well?"

"Well, I'm out of the hospital." Kyera's tone lightened, and she could imagine her smiling into her phone as she spoke. She missed her smile. Just one look from Kyera used to have the power to make her weak at the knees.

"That's good," Dusty declared with a bit too much enthusiasm.

"So yeah, I guess I'm better," she added.

"I'm really pleased for you, Kyera." And she was, she'd spent so many hours worrying about her, wishing she could recover.

"How about you? Did you have a nice summer?"

"Yeah," Dusty answered, not comfortable with discussing the trip she'd taken at the expense of leaving Kyera alone in the hospital to deal with his demons.

"Did you and Ashley enjoy Europe?" If Kyera was at all resentful about her trip, she didn't sound it. She could make out only genuine interest in her voice.

"Yeah." She gave the same stock answer, unsure how to respond.

"You're crazy talkative," Kyera joked.

"Sorry, I'm just exhausted. I've been working a lot." As if on cue, Dusty then let out a long, drawn-out yawn.

"At your fancy city job?"

"It's not as fancy as you'd think."

"I bet it is." There was a pause in the conversation, and the sound of a screeching siren outside bled into the silence between them.

"So what are you doing now?" Dusty asked brightly, trying to move the conversation forward.

"I'm back with my folks," Kyera admitted. "Back in Boston."

"I bet they're glad to have you home for a bit."

"Yeah." It was Kyera's turn to sound vague.

"I miss home sometimes," Dusty admitted.

"Have you seen all the sights in New York? Did you check out the Natural History Museum yet? Or Coney Island?" Kyera asked, sounding excited.

"Actually, no, I haven't had a chance yet," Dusty answered, feeling lame for not having taken in the sights of the famous city she was currently living in. "I mean, I want to see all those things. I just don't have anyone to see them with," Dusty continued, feeling compelled to explain herself.

"Well, maybe I could help with that."

"Oh?" Dusty asked, bemused.

"Well, basically I called because, I know it's been a while..." Kyera was rambling slightly, which Dusty knew meant she was nervous. "But I was wondering if I could come and stay with you for a bit? Catch up on things, maybe check out the city. Just as friends, of course," she hurriedly added the last part.

Dusty thought of the week ahead where she had numerous days just to spend alone in her tiny apartment. It had been so long since she'd seen Kyera, and they'd hardly parted on good terms. But she did miss her. She missed her sense of humor and her fervent opinions on anything and everything. The time apart had made her realize that as much as she loved her, as passionate as their relationship had been, there was an underlying friendship there which was why everything had progressed as quickly as it did, and why they had become so utterly lost in one another for a time.

"I know I probably shouldn't have asked," Kyera said, taking her delayed response for a negative answer. "I just miss you. Not us, you. I miss just hanging out and having fun together. And I'm home now with nothing but time, supposedly still recovering from everything. But Boston is literally like an hour away by train, but if you'd rather I didn't come, if you think it would be too awkward—"

"Actually, I'm off work next week," Dusty interrupted her, having made up her mind while she was rambling again.

"You are?" Kyera sounded surprised.

"Yeah, I am," Dusty clarified. "And actually, it would be really nice to see you and spend some time together. It's been far too long." Now Kyera was quiet as she took her answer in.

"You really don't mind me coming?" she asked after a few moments, her voice small with disbelief.

"Of course not. I mean, we're friends, aren't we?"

"Of course."

"Then I'd love to have you come and stay with me. With you in tow perhaps I'll finally go see the museum and Coney Island."

"Maybe catch a show on Broadway?" Kyera added hopefully.

"I didn't have you down for a fan of musicals," Dusty said, her tone deadpan.

"Not everything on Broadway is a musical!" Kyera scoffed. "I'm talking about real, legitimate theater, where you find Hollywood actors treading the boards and returning to the roots of their craft," she continued, sounding more like her old self.

"It all sounds great." Dusty smiled.

"Okay then, Black Dusty-Rose, I shall see you Monday," Kyera said.

"Sounds good, Kyera Aroura, I shall see you then." Dusty hung up the phone, smiling. She felt a stirring sense of excitement within her stomach at the prospect of being able to explore the city with a friend. She felt happy and hopeful. She was no longer alone and couldn't wait to see her old flame, Kyera.

Dusty spent the next few hours planning what she and Kyera could do the following week. It made her realize just how much of the city she'd yet to explore. She wanted to show her that her choice to live and work there had been a good one. She also knew how much she'd enjoy taking in some of the more cultural elements. It felt good to be having  a visitor, even though she wasn't sure where Kyera would sleep since she only had one bed.