Chapter 30

Sienna had spent the last three days in silence with Riley, her mind swirling with questions about what had happened in Riley's past. She longed to understand, but Riley remained tight-lipped, and Sienna knew she couldn't push her. Today, however, she couldn't even see Riley since she didn't have any classes.

With a sigh, Sienna walked toward the parking lot, preparing to call a cab. Just as she was about to dial, she spotted Riley standing near the smoking area. Startled, Sienna hurried over to her. Riley was dressed casually in a baseball cap, a black mask, a hoodie, and denim shorts, her feet adorned with Manolo sandals.

"Riley?" Sienna's gaze dropped to Riley's hand, where a lit cigarette smoldered. Frowning, she took it from her and snuffed it out in the nearby ashtray before tossing it into the trash.

"Riley, if you don't want to talk, that's fine. But you don't have to do this to yourself," Sienna said, rubbing her temples in frustration.

"I'm sorry, love," Riley replied, reaching for Sienna's hand. Sienna noticed how cold Riley's fingers felt against her skin. "I miss you. I'm really sorry," Riley said, her voice laced with regret.

Sienna glanced around, feeling the weight of the moment. "Did you bring your car?" she asked, wanting to redirect the conversation.

Riley nodded slowly, her expression unreadable.

"Give me your car keys; I'll drive us home," Sienna suggested, extending her palm toward Riley. Despite the three days of silence, Riley had always tried to fetch her, even on days when Riley didn't have classes.

Riley sat in silence, leaning her head against the window while fidgeting with her fingers. She let out a deep sigh and rubbed her temple, glancing back at Sienna. Guilt washed over her for not opening up sooner about her past. It wasn't that she didn't want to; she just needed to gather the strength to discuss it.

"Are you mad?" she asked, turning her gaze toward Sienna.

Sienna shot her a quick look before refocusing on the road. "Is there any reason for me to be mad? If anything, I'm worried about you," she replied, her voice tinged with concern.

Riley sighed again, feeling the weight of the moment. "Can we grab something to eat?" she suggested, hoping to change the subject.

"I can cook if you want," Sienna offered, glancing briefly at Riley.

Riley nodded, grateful for the distraction, but the silence between them felt heavy.

They arrived at Riley's unit, and Sienna excused herself to change clothes. Riley sank into her beanbag, clasping her hands together and resting them on her forehead as if in prayer.

After a while, she heard the door chime but remained in her position. Sienna walked in and cupped Riley's face, noticing the dark circles under her eyes. It was clear that Riley hadn't been sleeping well.

"What do you want to eat? I'll cook for you," Sienna said, gently caressing Riley's cheeks.

"Anything will do," Riley replied, shutting her eyes and letting out a soft sigh as she held Sienna's hand against her face. Sienna leaned in and kissed Riley's forehead.

"Wait for me; I'll whip us up something nice," Sienna said as she stood up. She made her way to Riley's fridge and noticed that the stock hadn't decreased much since her last visit.

With a silent sigh, she pulled out a beef tenderloin and sliced it thinly to prepare beef stroganoff. After checking the pantry for canned mushrooms, she began cooking. Just then, she felt a hug from behind.

Riley buried her head on Sienna's shoulder, pulling her closer. Sienna rested her hand on Riley's, which was wrapped around her waist, while the other stirred the meat. Before long, the food was ready.

Riley set the plates as Sienna plated the freshly cooked beef stroganoff. Sienna glanced at Riley and smiled. They sat side by side to eat. Sienna, as was her habit, rested both of her legs on Riley's thighs, feeling comfortable being herself with no judgment.

Leaning in to check on Riley, Sienna asked, "How's it? Good?"

Riley looked up at her and smiled faintly. "It's great," she said, her expression softening.

Riley was washing the dishes while Sienna quietly checked her out from the sofa. Although Riley still lacked her usual energy, Sienna could see some improvements. As she waited for Riley to finish, Sienna decided to check her phone.

Suddenly, she jolted when something cold touched her. She glanced over to see Riley holding two wrapped ice cream sandwiches. Sitting beside Sienna, Riley opened the first one and handed it to her.

"Thanks," Sienna said, looking at Riley. Riley wrapped her arms around Sienna's shoulders, and Sienna leaned her head against Riley's. She felt a soft kiss on her head from Riley.

"Do you want to hear a fucked-up story?" Riley chuckled, taking a bite of her ice cream before continuing.

"Whenever you're ready to share," Sienna replied, sensing the weight in Riley's voice. She heard Riley take a deep sigh.

Riley rested the hand holding her ice cream on her lap, rubbing Sienna's shoulder blade gently. "I never had any romantic relationship with Izzy, or Isabella Ross, or whatever you want to call her," she began, pausing to rest her hands on Sienna's waist and pull her closer.

Sienna stayed silent, bracing herself. "It was... the worst. It started when I was fifteen, and she was twenty-two." Sienna stiffened at the revelation. Riley was a minor, and Izzy was already an adult? She gulped, anticipating more.

Riley took another bite of her ice cream sandwich. "I was so confused about myself back then. I tried to explore, to understand who I was—I tried everything I could, aside from drugs, of course." She laughed lightly.

"I was just fucking around when I met Izzy. She was the previous vocalist of our band after your sister's gone. We met, we hooked up, but what's worse is..." Riley paused, heaving a deep sigh. Sienna reached for Riley's hands resting in her lap and held them.

"You can stop if you're feeling uncomfortable," Sienna said gently, applying light pressure to Riley's hand.

"No, no, you need to hear this." Riley pressed Sienna's hand in return. "I want to be open with you—no secrets at all."

Riley cleared her throat and took another bite of her ice cream. "What's worse is that I became some kind of useful fuck buddy for her. Her kinks? Do you know the term BDSM? At first, I thought it was normal. It is normal. But as time went on, it started to feel weird. Instead of feeling aroused and loved, I felt abused." She let out a bitter laugh at her past decisions.

"It lasted about a year until Nyx and Harriet noticed something was off with me. That's when they found out," Riley chuckled again. "I thought I was fine, that it wouldn't affect me. But those deeds had been recorded." Riley caught a breath.

Sienna gulped, trying to calm Riley by squeezing her hand. She could feel Riley starting to tremble again.

"I was blackmailed, Sien. I was toyed with, and used. That's when I realized she had taken advantage of me. She asked for money in return. I left the band, traumatized. I went through therapy for another year and developed anxiety disorder because of that experience." Riley sighed and leaned her head against Sienna's.

"I'm fine now, but when I saw her at the photoshoot, it felt like a big joke," Riley admitted, lifting her head to meet Sienna's gaze.

"I felt like garbage in that moment," Riley added. Sienna cupped Riley's cheeks, her heart aching for her.

"That's the dirtiest secret I have," Riley said, her voice barely a whisper as she reached for Sienna's hand on her cheek. "I never opened up about it to anyone else, aside from my family."

Sienna's heart ached hearing those words, but she felt honored that Riley trusted her enough to share this dark part of her past. "Thank you for opening up, even if it's hard and traumatizing for you," Sienna whispered, leaning forward to place a gentle kiss on Riley's forehead, hoping to offer some comfort through her presence.

Riley closed her eyes and let out a deep breath, holding Sienna's hand tightly, as if drawing strength from her. The silence between them felt different now—no longer heavy with secrets but filled with a sense of understanding and trust.