Memories

I was so determined to avoid them after that, that I awoke an hour before daylight to make sure I’d not be in my hut when they came looking. I rushed down to the river and scrubbed my body with rough weeds until my skin was reddened. But no amount of washing had removed the way I’d felt when those three wild males had stimulated me. How they released the nature of the wild little female I contained.

My wolf was everything I was not. She was wild, fearless, bold, and lustful.

I was beginning to fear her.

~Far more than them. ~

I couldn’t hide from them. There was no escaping her. Even now she was stirring, reminding me of what happened. Of every titillating touch, every sleek stroke. She refused to let me forget.

It was as if I was still walking out in a state of semi-arousal.

I hurried to finish bathing, wanting to keep busy so I didn’t have time to think about how difficult she was proving to be.

~Has she always been like this? Warring with my desires?~

~Is everyone’s beast so complex?~

No one else spoke of it. They spoke of external enemies.

~My greatest one has the power to steal my body. ~

And she wanted the males. All three of them.

I imagined the way they’d look washing. Clear water tracing over their toned chests and down rippled abdomens to saturate their pants, molding over what was beneath.

Which made more flash through my mind’s eye. Endlessly tormenting me.

Inciting my curiosity.

~What would they have done if Victor hadn’t stopped them?~

I always washed further down by the bridge where there were more shrubs to hide me from the eyes of the pack.

Because I never knew when someone could be watching. I got out and hastily pulled on my dress and cloak. Though I had abandoned any attempt to hide my shape beneath the dress after the Faber brothers had already discovered what was beneath.

As I situated the cloak around me and tied the rope, I hurried back toward camp.

I followed the path, veering around a huge tree. It was there that I came face to face with Huntley Faber.

“Going home so fast?” he queried.

I shot him a glance but kept walking.

He moved into step with me. “Don’t you want to go hunting?”

“No,” I said, fighting the urge to look at his handsome face, to consider his persuasive words.

“Valerie…” he chided. “Surely, you’re hungry. We haven’t been able to go hunting lately.”

“I’ll be fine,” I told him.

“Are you still upset about the other day?”

“You know the answer to that.”

“We were reckless.” He deflated. “Out of hand.”

“That’s putting it mildly!” I held my breath, surprised by my own words. But Huntley turned from me, almost looking remorseful. I didn’t have time to make sense of it.

~If he’s here, the others won’t be far behind.~

The thought of being alone with all three of them again had my heart doing little hops.

I jerked into movement, set on getting to my hut.

But another man rounded from the back of a tree and stepped into my way.

“Valerie…” Chase grinned.

I veered around him. “I want to get back.”

“No,” another voice said from behind me. “You need to eat. Come on.”

I knew Victor’s commanding voice. Even though I only caught glimpses of him passing through clustered trees toward the path.

“We’ll find you something to put in your belly.”

I shot him a nervous look.

“You eat something, and you can go home.” He joined us on the path, squaring off before me in that way that said he wasn’t really giving me a choice.

They led me deeper into the woods.

Despite my nervousness, I knew that if Victor said no one would be touching me, no one would.

~What he says is their law. ~

I watched as Huntley began inspecting branches and leaves on the ground.

“Nothing looks out of place.” I leaned over trying to see.

“You’re not just looking for things moved around.” He pointed. “You’re looking for broken leaves on the ground. Like here. Or discoloration like over here.”

Huntley directed me to a spot where a section of leaves still on a low bush had been brushed dry, while everything around it was still drenched in dew.

“Something passed through, about this height. And if you sniff, you can smell how close it is.”

I did. My wolf senses awakening at the opportunity to be used.

Huntley explained to me what I should do, and how to find the animal. Soon we were nearly atop a cluster of squirrels surrounding a particular tree.

Victor flattened his hand, directing us all to crouch.

We all picked out our animal, one directly in line with us. When Victor pointed, jerking his finger, we hopped up and charged, each of us leaping.

I felt the animalistic rush of capturing my own food. I sank my teeth and filled my stomach.

“Well done,” Victor remarked, his expression unreadable.

The squirrel was gone nearly as fast as I had caught it. As I set the bones aside, we heard a rustle nearby and spotted a rabbit stepping into the clearing with us.

Huntley spurred into motion. The rabbit emitted a sharp sound that could only be described as a shriek.

A sound so close to the broken cry of my mother as she was being cut down.

My breath stopped.

That sound rang in my ears and something in me fractured.

The smell of wolf blood filled my nose, and time rewound until I was in a dark cottage. Stuck in the dark space, so scared that my mind had shut down. But while I had remained frozen, my wolf had taken action.

Forcing my legs.

Pushing me into motion.

But I was still covered in the evidence of a slaughter. Now I realized there were at least three bodies I had to cross over to reach the door, splayed over the floor and oozing blood.

~At least three. ~

I collapsed backward.

~A whole family? Mine? ~

I should’ve struck the tree behind me, but arms caught me and guided me away from the trunk as I was lowered to the ground.

I looked up to blue eyes peering down at me.

~Chase. ~

“Valerie.” He shook me, his expression frantic.

“What is it?” Victor shouted, his voice brittle.

“Something is wrong.”

Huntley was returning with the rabbit, but seeing I’d collapsed, he hurried to join the others. Their faces were above me just before the pain in my head grew unbearable.

Everything went dark.

***

I came to slowly, waking to a swaying motion as if I were floating on water.

I was in someone’s arms, warm and strong, being carried along the familiar path back to camp. I blinked blearily up at the profile above me.

Flaring green eyes glanced down at me. “What happened back there?”

“I just…I couldn’t…it was…”

“What, Valerie? Where did you go?” His voice was soft.

“What…what happened to me before here,” I murmured.

“What ~did~ happen?”

“My family…” I said incoherently.

***

Victor had set me in my hut, carefully laying me atop my cloak as if worried he might shatter me. Huntley had left the rabbit he’d caught near the door for when I grew hungry.

I knew those things, but I hadn’t really experienced them. My wolf had.

Her and I were engaged in a sort of dance. One where I gripped her by the throat, keeping control of everything she did to the best of my ability. Whereas she tried to free herself, and protect me from the things I couldn’t shield myself from.

I saw her there, deep in the shadows of my mind. Within the blackness, she sat quietly like a pale statue waiting for me to join her.

We walked together. Rewinding my run through the woods, back to the sunlit cottage and the moment she looked back at the scarred male in the doorway of my home.

Someone she now indicated she’d known was a wolf. With him there were others. All smelling of the same pack.

~A pack of wolves killed my family,~ I realized.

But the why wouldn’t come to me.

As we retraced my steps from the cottage, those males moved back from the doorway. Just when I was about to get a real look at what was inside, she stepped into the doorway and my feet froze. Even though I wanted the answers, I couldn’t make my legs move.

~I can’t face what’s in there.~

Raw terror pierced me like a spear to the heart. I bolted upright, panting into the darkness. I cradled my head. Trying to brace it against that dizzying feeling that plagued me every time the memories rose. I assumed it was something to do with the rock I’d hit my head on.

I sighed, forcing myself to rise and go to the door to get the rabbit.

~I need to get something in my stomach to steady myself.~

~Maybe then, I can remember more…~