Chapter 40

“All right everyone, we know the plan. Rest up tonight, and tomorrow morning we leave,” Jori said. He stood up and waited for everyone to start leaving.

I got up, deciding I should rest while I could, but before I made it out the door, Jori called my name. I turned to look at him, and I saw Rie watching me with careful eyes. I nodded to her to let her know it was okay, and after a moment of hesitation, Rie left Jori and me alone.

“Hey,” I said quietly, still standing by the door.

“Can you shut the door?” Jori asked. He moved around the table so he was closer to me.

I shut the door, feeling a little nervous. I had no idea what Jori wanted to talk to me about, but I knew he wasn’t happy with my decisions. I feel Jori’s arms wrap around my waist while I’m still facing the door. He buries his face in my face, sending shivers down my spine.

“I’m so glad you made it back here,” Jori muttered into my neck. He kept a firm grip around my waist.

I let him hold me like that for a moment, partly because I knew how stressed he had been, but also because his touch was still comforting to me. “Me too.” This was the calmest I had felt in a while, and I knew it was selfish of me to stay there like that, but I wasn’t ready to separate yet.

Finally, I turned around to face Jori. He kept his arms around me, keeping me close to his body. He studied my face carefully.

“You’re going to choose Mark, aren’t you?” His face told me that he already knew the answer to the question.

I couldn’t bring myself to tell him the truth. It was even harder in his arms like this. I could feel the bond pulling me to Jori. I could even see a future with him, a happy one at that, but I knew I wouldn’t be true to my heart picking him. I didn’t want to hurt him, but I knew there was no way out of that.

Jori’s face fell. It was weird seeing him without his cocky demeanor. He was almost like a new person, which almost made this more difficult. “Actually, don’t answer that. I don’t know if I could go through with tomorrow after hearing it from your mouth. I don’t want it to be official yet.”

“Jori…” My heart ached looking at the fear in his eyes, knowing his pain was my fault.

He let out a sigh. “I’m not going to give up on you yet. I can’t. I love you, Adira. I know I haven’t known you long, but I have never felt this way with anyone else. I can’t stand the thought of losing you, especially not to him.”

I didn’t know what to say. I felt connected to Jori, but I couldn’t say I loved him. “I don’t want to lead you on.” I knew I should just tell Jori now that I wanted to be with Mark, but I couldn’t.

Jori shook his head. “You’re not. I know the truth, but things can change. Until you and Mark mark each other, this fight is not over for me.”

I pushed Jori’s arms, wanting distance between him. This was becoming too much. This guilt was starting to eat at me. I wanted to tell Jori what he wanted to hear just to see him smile, but that wouldn’t be fair to each of us.

Jori dropped his hands, letting me step away. “I don’t want you to pick him. I don’t want you to put yourself in danger tomorrow for him. I just want to take you to my room and never let you go. Please don’t go tomorrow. If things go wrong and that psycho gets a hold of you, I don’t know what I would do. I can’t go through that again.”

I stood firmly, my look unwavering. “I’m going tomorrow.” This was not up for discussion. Not again. Everything was already planned, and I was prepared for the worst-case scenario. Mark would walk out safe, even if I was not.

Jori stepped forward and touched my face. He didn’t say anything and just stared into my eyes. My heart raced from his touch, which said more than any words could. He rubbed his thumb over my cheek.

“Please don’t,” Jori whispered. He leaned in and pressed his lips against mine. For a moment, I let it happen, and fire started spreading through my body. I almost felt more powerful from the contact, and part of me wanted more. Something told me that if I chose Jori, I would have all of the power I could. Being with him and nurturing our connection would nurture my powers.

I pulled away from Jori, moving as far away from him as I could. I didn’t care about having power. I cared more about having a real connection with someone. “I’m sorry.”

I opened the door and ran out, heading to my room. I didn’t want to see Jori’s face. I made it to my room and sat on my bed. I let my head fall into my hands. When I decided I wanted Mark, I didn’t think it would be this difficult to tell Jori I didn’t want to be with him. Maybe it would have been easier to tell Jori the truth if Mark had been there, but I wasn’t confident about that. I just knew it would mean I wouldn’t be worrying about Mark.

A knock on my door pulled me from my thoughts. My door was still open, and I saw Daniel standing in it.

“Can I come in?”

“Sure,” I said. I sat up straight and watched as he approached.

Daniel looked around the room for a place to sit. When he didn’t see anything but the bed, he stayed standing. “How are you handling everything?”

I looked down at my hands. “I don’t know. Okay, I guess.”

“You know, what happened to that lady wasn’t your fault.”

I kept looking at my hands. I knew Daniel was trying to help, but it still felt like my fault. “What’s so special about me? For the past five years, it felt like everyone was rejecting me and running away. I was the unwanted wolf. I don’t understand what all of you see in me.”

Daniel knelt down to the ground and grabbed my hands. He looked up into my eyes. “You’re different, Adira. The moment I met you, I could tell something about you was unique.”

“It’s because I’m not a pureblooded werewolf.” I looked at Daniel’s eyes. They were soft and kind.

Daniel squeezed my hands. “Sure, that’s part of it. But it’s not the only thing.”

“What do you mean?”

Daniel hummed for a moment, thinking. “You’re very kind. You care about people, even when you haven’t known them for very long. You’re brave too.”

“I don’t feel brave. I was scared when Theron had me captive. I’m scared of picking a mate. I’m scared of learning more about my true identity.”

“It’s okay to be scared. Being brave is not the absence of fear. Being brave is standing up for yourself and others, despite the fear. When Theron had you at the party and threatened everyone there, you agreed to go with him to save everyone. You could have given up when you were captive in that cell, but instead you chose to fight. You fought to come back here, which is pretty incredible to me. I don’t know if I would’ve kept fighting through everything you did. You are incredible, Adira.”

A smile creeps onto my face. “Thanks Daniel. This hasn’t been easy, and I would be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about giving up, but I can’t do that. I haven’t been happy in such a long time, but because of all of you, I got a taste of what happiness can feel like. I’m not ready to give up on that yet.”

Daniel stood up, but he didn’t let go of my hands. “Don’t give up on being happy. Never give up on that.”

I stood up and wrapped my arms around Daniel. “Thank you for being such a good friend.”

Daniel hugged me back, and this time he didn’t feel nearly as awkward as he did the first time. “Anytime, Adira. You know, Mark and Jori weren’t the only ones worried about you when you went missing.” Daniel pulled back from the hug, but he still kept me at arms length. “Scythe was a mess. Rie tried to hold it together to make sure proper efforts were being made to get you back, but I know her. She wasn’t okay. I think Percy was even worried.”

I made a face at that. “I didn’t think he liked me very much. We haven’t even really spoken.”

“He’s not so bad when you get to know him. It takes a little while though.”

I thought about this for a moment. “I didn’t realize everyone cared so much.”

Daniel smiled. “Like I said, you have an effect on us. Do us all a favor tomorrow. Make sure you get Mark back, but don’t let yourself get taken either. I’m not sure we could handle you going missing again, especially so soon.”

I smiled, but I still felt a little torn. I wanted to do whatever I could to bring Mark home, but Daniel had a point. There were people here who still cared about me, and if Theron took me again, what would stop Mark from just following after me? I decided in that moment that Theron wasn’t going to win. He wasn’t going to take me back and get his way. I was going to show him he made a mistake going after me.