chapter 3 - realisation

Just as quickly as Amy's lips brushed Zahn's cheek, she jerked back, slapping a hand over her mouth.

What the hell did I just do?!

Her heart pounded so hard she could hear it. She had just kissed him. Okay, maybe not a real kiss just a peck. But still. She kissed Zahn.

Why?

Why did she even do that?!

This wasn't real dating. Zahn never even agreed to it happily. She was just playing around, messing with him, pushing his buttons. They were supposed to be friends. (Maybe.) They weren't even a real couple!

No, no, no... No way.

Her breath caught in her throat as a terrifying realization struck her.

Do I... like him?

A chill ran down her spine.

No... Nope! That's impossible!

But the more she denied it, the more her mind spiraled.

What if.....what if I actually fell for him while I was messing around?!

Amy sank to the floor, her legs giving out beneath her. She stared at Zahn's sleeping face, her stomach twisting into a thousand knots.

This was bad, really really bad...

With trembling hands, she reached forward, gently adjusting his position, placing a pillow under his head. Her fingers lingered for a second before she shot back like she touched fire.

She needed to think.

Pacing across the room, she ran her fingers through her hair. Five minutes. Ten minutes. Fifteen. Her thoughts refused to settle.

What am I supposed to do now?!

Zahn could never find out. He'd never shown interest in anyone before. What if he's asexual? She frowned. That would explain a lot. He always looked exasperated or fed up with her antics, never flustered, Never interested.

Okay, so I have no chance with him. Zero chances..

Her stomach churned. This whole situation was messed up. She was messed up.

Amy exhaled sharply. Should I just break up with him? End this weird, complicated mess? Disappear before it gets even worse?

Her thoughts were spinning so fast that she barely noticed the faint rustling behind her.

A soft groan, A shuffle of movement.

Amy whipped around.

Zahn was waking up. His brows furrowed slightly as he sat up, groggy, rubbing his face. His half-lidded eyes blinked at her. "Mm... what?"

Amy froze. Her mind blanked.

Panic surged through her..

Before she could stop herself, she blurted out, "Zahn, I think we should break up! I'm really, really sorry for everything!"

For a second, he just sat there, still groggy, still processing.

Then his eyes snapped wide open. "Huh-what???"

But Amy didn't wait for a response.

She grabbed her phone, spun on her heel, and bolted out of the house like her life depended on it.

"Amy?!"

His startled voice rang behind her, but she didn't dare stop.

Zahn had just woken up.

And Amy had just broken up with him.

What the hell even happened?!

That was pure chaos...

_______________

Next Day

Amy sat in class, biting her nails, staring blankly at the desk like her soul had been sucked out of her body.

One moment, she had been celebrating Zahn's birthday.

The next, she was breaking up with him.

What the hell happened?!

She still hadn't messaged him. He hadn't messaged her either.

It was driving her insane.

Had she done the right thing? Or had she just completely ruined everything?

Her head spun, but before she could spiral any further, a smack landed on her head.

"Yo, what are you sitting around for?" Ruby appeared beside her, slinging her bag over her shoulder. "We have to move to the next class."

Amy groaned, rubbing the sore spot.

"What's with that face?" Ruby narrowed her eyes. "Didn't you say you had something important to do yesterday?"

Amy kept quiet.

Because yeah, she had something important to do. She had broken up with her fake-but-maybe-not-so-fake boyfriend and now couldn't function as a normal human being.

She hadn't even slept last night. Not even a second.

Her brain had been running in circles, tormenting her with thoughts of Zahn. And to make it worse, her delusional mind kept picturing weirdly romantic scenarios with him.

She shuddered just at the thought of those..

"Amy?" Ruby waved a hand in front of her face. "Are you even listening to me?"

Amy barely heard her.

Because at that exact moment, her eyes caught a familiar figure.

He was in the corridor, moving down the stairs with his bag slung over his shoulder, looking completely pissed.

Like, more pissed than usual.

Amy's stomach dropped.

God, wrong timing

Ruby stepped onto the stairs.

Amy followed, but very reluctantly. The last thing she wanted was to bump into Zahn. She couldn't dare to face him after last night.

Please, don't let me run into him-

And then, because the universe clearly hated her, her foot twisted.

And the world tilted.

And before she could even process what was happening-

She fell.

"OH MY GOD, AMY!!" Ruby shrieked.

Amy gasped, her arms flailing, heart lurching-

Gravity yanked her down.

And then.....

Crash.

Not onto the hard floor but Onto someone.

Strong arms caught her mid-fall, holding her tight. Warmth enveloped her, steady and solid. Her head landed against a firm chest, she could literally hear his heartbeat...

For a split second, it was just silence everywhere.

The noise of the corridor faded. Everything narrowed down to the heat of his body, his arms holding her so protectively....

Then, just as suddenly, he pushed her away.

Amy stumbled back, catching herself just in time. She barely had a second to breathe before she looked up and froze instantly.

Zahn's expression...he clearly wasn't happy to see her..

He wasn't just annoyed. He was furious.

"Zahn..." she murmured, still catching her breath.

He turned his back before she could finish.

And without a single word, he walked away.

Amy stood there, stunned, watching him disappear down the hallway.

What the hell was that?!

Ruby moved closer, crossing her arms. "Okay. I'm suspicious now. What the hell is going on?"

Amy snapped out of it. "N-nothing!" she blurted, brushing past Ruby way too fast. "Let's just get to class!"

_____________

Amy had no escape actually.

She sat stiffly at the cafeteria table, trapped between Ruby, Mia, and Noah.

And they were all staring at her.

Waiting for her to say anything.

Amy swallowed. "...What?"

Ruby leaned in, whispering, "I'm telling you, something's going on with her and Zahn."

Amy scowled. "Tsk-lower your voice!"

Mia, ever the peacemaker, gently touched Amy's arm. "Amy, what happened? Just tell us."

Amy let out a long sigh, contemplating her entire life's decisions. She was already in deep trouble, what was there to hide anymore?

"I... I've been dating Zahn."

Everything fell silent, their faces remaining unchanged for a moment before they all suddenly widened in shock.

"YOU WHAT?!"

"Shhh! Lower your voices, damn it!" Amy hissed, glancing around frantically.

Noah blinked. "Gosh, and you never told us?"

"All this time you were dating Zahn?!" Ruby gawked. "Amy, so many popular guys confessed to you, and you chose him? That emotionless guy?"

Amy twitched. "Shut up, he is NOT emotionless!"

Ruby raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

Mia, the only one acting like a sane human, sighed. "Okay, then tell us, why do you look so stressed?"

Amy hesitated, gripping the hem of her dress. "Because... I forced Zahn to date me in our last year of high school. I wanted revenge on him."

Her friends' jaws dropped, all of them thought the same thing. She is crazy

"We've been together since then, in this... weird, complicated relationship. We were kind of friends, but not really. And then yesterday I broke up with him-"

Noah squinted. "Wait. Hold on. How did you even get Zahn to date you?"

Ruby nodded. "I know, right? Zahn, the human icicle? You're actually insane."

Amy clenched her fists. She was this close to throwing her lunch at them.

Mia, ever patient, asked, "Why did you break up with him?"

Amy swallowed. "Because... I think I like him."

They fell into another silence..

Her friends exchanged skeptical looks.

Then out of nowhere Ruby smacked Amy's shoulder. "Are you crazy? You're misunderstanding. You've been messing around too long, and now you're confusing it with real feelings. Don't be stupid."

Noah nodded. "Yeah, don't turn this into some fake love story."

Mia, however, leaned forward. "Don't listen to them, Amy. You did Zahn dirty. If you're sure you like him, you need to tell him properly."

Amy hesitated. "Mia..."

Before she could think too much, Ruby grabbed Amy's wrist. "Nope, no way. We're going to Elliot's party tonight. That's final. You need a distraction."

Amy groaned. Is she serious?!

________________

Amy wasn't completely against coming to the party. A part of her wanted the distraction, wanted to escape the mess in her head. But Ruby? Ruby was determined to convince her that Zahn didn't like her.

"There's no way, Amy!" Ruby had said for the hundredth time. "Zahn doesn't like you. If anything, he probably hates you now!"

Amy didn't respond.

Because deep down, she was terrified Ruby was right.

The club was buzzing with energy flashing lights, thumping music, laughter echoing across the crowded space. Normally, Amy would be the first to jump into the chaos. But tonight?

She sat stiffly in her seat, barely listening as her friends laughed and danced around her. Her mind kept replaying one moment.

Zahn's expression when he walked away.

He looked so cold, so distant..

"Amy! Look, Elliot is coming this way!" Ruby's excited voice jolted her back to reality.

"What?" Amy blinked, confused.

A tall figure approached, his presence effortlessly commanding attention. Elliot-the campus heartthrob.

"Hey, Amy." He flashed his signature, confident smile. "Glad you made it."

Amy looked up at him, unimpressed. "Oh... hey."

Elliot was popular, handsome, and loved being the center of attention. But Amy had never liked him. He was too much of a show-off.

Servers passed by, offering trays of champagne. The night carried on-people laughing, dancing, drinking.

Amy sat in the corner, mindlessly picking at her food and downing drink after drink.

Her thoughts refused to let her go.

How am I supposed to face Zahn again?

The thought gnawed at her, making the alcohol burn a little sharper as it slid down her throat.

"Whoa there, Amy." Elliot's voice cut through the noise. "You're drinking a lot."

Amy barely spared him a glance. "So?" she muttered, the alcohol loosening her tongue.

Elliot chuckled, leaning in slightly. "Haha, your expressions are too cute."

Amy ignored him, taking another sip.

Suddenly, Elliot's voice boomed over the music. "Alright, everyone, listen up!"

The crowd hushed, eyes turning toward him in anticipation.

Amy blinked, still dizzy from drinking. "Huh?"

Elliot flashed his perfect smile. "Amy, you've always been the most beautiful girl in this college. I've waited long enough-" He pulled out a red rose. "So, will you go out with me?"

Gasps. Cheers. Chants of "Say yes!" filled the air.

Amy stared at him, then at the rose. The lights felt too bright, the music too loud. Her stomach churned, not from excitement, but from discomfort.

All she could think about was Zahn.

Elliot was charming, rich, adored by everyone but she didn't care.

"Do you know what I love the most?" she blurted, voice slightly slurred.

Elliot smirked. "I know a beauty like you must love makeup and dresses--"

"Wrong!" Amy cut him off. "I love snacks and binge-watching series the most!"

A stunned silence fell over the crowd.

And only Zahn knows that. She thought.

Amy dropped the rose on the table and walked away without another word.

The crowd gasped.

Elliot looked completely thrown off.

"Did she... just reject him?" someone whispered.

Ruby gaped. "Amy, what the hell?!"

Amy again sat in the corner, staring at her empty glass.

The club buzzed with laughter, music, and flashing lights, but she heard nothing. Her heart pounded in her ears.

What have I done?

She turned to look at Elliot, still surrounded by friends, shrugging off the rejection like it was nothing.

I rejected the most perfect guy on campus... for what? For Zahn?

"Ugh..." She stumbled to her feet, heading to the bathroom.

Inside, she gripped the sink, her reflection a mess of flushed cheeks and messy hair.

"Zahn, Zahn, Zahn... why are you always in my head?"

Her hands clenched the sink. "I only ever wanted to mess with him. Not... this."

Her vision blurred. "Damn it. Maybe... I really do like him."

She exhaled sharply, then shook her head. "No, no, no this is ridiculous! He'll never accept me!"

She exhaled sharply, staring at her reflection again. "But do I really like him that much?" Her voice was barely above a whisper.

Then, she pushed herself off the sink, her resolve hardening.

"I can't suffer anymore, I'm not gonna find peace unless I tell him!" She pointed dramatically at her reflection. "I'm gonna do it!"

Without another second of hesitation, she stormed out of the bathroom, nearly tripping over her own feet.

She needed to find Zahn right now.

Before she knew it, her legs carried her straight to Zahn's apartment

Amy stumbled up the stairs, completely ignoring the elevator. The alcohol made her bold, reckless.

She reached Zahn's door and blinked at the keypad.

"...Uh. 1... 8... 9... 7?"

She couldn't recall it at all..

Amy groaned. "Damn it..."

With no other option, she banged on the door.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Seconds later, it swung open.

Zahn stood there, unamused. Amy has ruined his sleep again at late night.

His gaze swept over her, flushed cheeks, wobbly stance, the faint scent of alcohol on her breath. His frown deepened.

"Amy? What are you even doing here?"

How dare she show up after tossing him away the day earlier ?

Before he could react, Amy stumbled forward, wrapping her arms around him.

"Wha-"

THUD!

They crashed to the floor, Zahn landing on his back, Amy sprawled on top of him.

Pain shot through his spine. "What the hell-"

Before he could finish, Amy cupped his face.

And then-

She kissed him.

"......"

Zahn was completely frozen.

His brain shut down.