Chapter Fourteen : Two Steps Back

On Monday I couldn't find Dakota anywhere, not even in the halls. I sat in defeat on the bleachers at lunch. I realize that friends don't always have to talk to each other but it's been that way with Dakota and I since we were kids. High school is big and different, and it makes people drift away no matter how close you were.

Is Dakota afraid to be with me because of our friendship or is he afraid what others will think if the golden boy decides to date his best friend. Stuff like that never mattered to us until recently it seems. He's so afraid of what others think of him, and his perfect family with their perfect life. No one is perfect and everyone has faults. It's a human characteristic.

"God you look miserable." Jane said as she sat beside me.

"It's depressing."

"I'm as happy as can be." I said and shoved a handful of chips in my mouth.

"Seems Dakota is moving on fast." She nodded towards the other side of the field to Dakota and Eva, sucking face once again. And I swear from a far it looked as if he glanced at me, dead in the eye while with Eva.

"Right." I said and threw away the rest of my lunch. I stood up and started walking over to him. I don't know what I was going to say or do for that matter, I just knew we need to talk and I needed to at lest attempt to apologize.

"Can we talk?" I asked Dakota as he continued to devour Eva's face.

"Sure."

"In private?"

Dakota stood up, putting a halt on the romantic make out session he was having and walked a few feet away from his new friends.

"What are you doing?" I asked, referring to him staring at me while making out with his girlfriend.

"I'm eating lunch." He chuckled.

"I just wanted to apologize."

"About?"

"Being a brat." I chuckled.

"It's whatever." He said with a shrug and left it at that, walking back to his new group. I stood there for a moment with my fists clutched together, stunned and unsure.

Was that it? I don't expect us to go back to normal right away but I still felt disappointed. Am I no longer worthy of being his friend after he became friends with Alex and the other seniors.

I scoffed and walked back to Jane. Usually she'd say some witty remark but she remained quiet for the rest of lunch. Maybe she felt sorry for me. I sure did.

Dakota said he didn't want that night to ruin our friendship but it already has. He's changed and not for the better. The drift between us had only gotten worse and although it's normal for friends to drift, it still hurt.

Practice went by slow and it was the usual drills. I didn't talk to Dakota and he didn't talk to me or even acknowledge my existence for that matter. I tried not to let it affect practice.

"Hey." Dakota came up behind me as I was walking home.

"You're actually talking to me?"

"Duh."

"Why do you want to talk? Because it's only the two of us now? You're too good to be my friend in front of those fakes you call friends?" I continued walking.

"It's not like that." Dakota grabbed my forearm and turned me around.

"What is it like? Tell me, because at this point it feels like you're just fucking with me."

"I'm confused okay?"

"I'm tired of chasing you Dakota."

"Just give me some time, while I figure things out."

"No thanks." I jerked away from him. How is he going to go from being a complete twat in front of others, to pretending to be my best friend once we're alone. My head was filled with endless questions of what was going on inside of his.

I decided to use the front door this time, ready for any snide comment my mom had prepared.

"How was school, hun." She looked up at me from her knitting.

"Good."

"Where's Dakota, he hasn't been around much recently."

"He has a girlfriend so he's busy." I said solemnly before shutting my bedroom door.

I didn't bother changing out of my uniform as I laid in bed. Dakota needs time to figure things out. This whole time he could've been figuring things out but he ultimately chose to push it aside and get a girl. It bothered me to think that even after telling each other we had feelings, he chose to ignore it. It made me think what kind of person he really was and if I even knew him like I thought I did.

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