14 Mutual Feelings

“So the cat’s out of the bag,” Topher states as we watch ourselves on Brikk’s show later that night from my bed. He leans closer to me to steal some Lo Mein from my carton with his chop sticks.

“What’s wrong with the rice you have?” I point to the container in his hand with my own Chinese utensils.

He shakes his head as he sticks the noodles in his mouth, “Nothing, your Lo Mein smelled awesome.”

Rolling my eyes, I steal a piece of his Orange Chicken. Although, I don’t think it’s really stealing because when he sees me moving toward it, he angles the plastic container so it’s easier for me to grab.

“What do you think I should say when they ask at my interview in the morning?” he asks a few minutes later as the commercials come on.

I shrug as I set my food down on the table next to my bed then lean back against my headboard, “Suppose it doesn’t matter. The whole world either knows at this point or will very soon.”

“We’re really doing this?” he puts his dinner on the table near his side of the bed and lies down on his side to face me.

I chuckle, looking down at him, “You think it’s too late to say ‘just kidding’?”

“Yep,” he turns to his back to look at the television. He points up, “Especially after that.”

I look up to see our first dance. Oddly, I don’t look like me. Mainly because I don’t think I’ve ever seen myself that happy or sincere.

It’s a little mesmerizing. Looking at it from a spectator’s point of view, I can see why everyone has mistaken us for being in love. The two people on the screen staring at each other, exchanging kisses and whispering conversations, look to be the picture of love as Hollywood sells it.

“Do you believe in love yet?” my husband asks from beside me. I look over to see him sitting up and leaning on his arm toward me. He gestures the hand that he’s not leaning on toward the screen, “It’s written all over us. I know you’re thinking that’s what media wants us to think, but you were there. You were the one I was holding onto. You weren’t acting and neither was I. You can’t fake that.”

“I don’t know what to think,” I tell him honestly as I cast my eyes down to my comforter. “It’s not easy for me to just accept.”

“Why not?” he sounds agitated. He sits up pointing to the screen, “You were there. That’s you. That’s not something that a publicist set up. You felt that.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I tell him as I stand to collect the uneaten portions of our meal.

He watches me grab my food and walk to his side of the bed, “I’m not letting you run away from this forever.”

“I’m not running away,” I confirm as I walk out of the room toward the kitchen.

“You’re kidding, right?” he laughs without humor. “You are literally running away - the very definition.”

I didn’t answer him as I put the leftovers in my refrigerator, “Are you staying the night?”

“You’re really going to avoid the subject?”

“I don’t know where your interview is in the morning, but I’m closer to the city. I figured it’s probably easier to leave from here,” I enter my room again and lay down next to him. “You can use my car.”

He shakes his head, “Yea, I’m staying here. We should probably live together at this point anyway. You want to live in my apartment or yours?”

“Move in together?” I ask a little perplexed. “Don’t you think that’s moving a little fast?”

He looks at me like I just suggested we move to the moon, “We’re married, Day. I don’t think there are any other steps before moving in together. Won’t it look a little odd to everyone else if we live separately after just announcing out marriage?”

“I mean, shouldn’t we wait a bit longer?” raising my eyebrows, I silently beg him with my eyes.

He shakes his head and moves to stand up.

“Where are you going?” I ask as I realize he’s putting his phone and keys back in his pockets.

He shakes his head again, anger etched into every pore.

I wait a second, but after no response and him sitting on the bed to put on his shoes, I continue, “Why are you leaving?”

My husband still doesn’t answer as he stands and walks out of the bedroom.

Scrambling to get up, I almost trip as I make it over his side of the bed and into the lounge, “Don’t leave.”

“I’m not staying here,” he tells me as he grabs his jumper off the back of the sofa.

Running to the door, I press my back against it and cross my arms over my chest to block his exit, “Tell me why you’re leaving.”

“You don’t want to be a part of this relationship. I get it,” he tells me forcefully. “We’ll get the annulment when you get back from England. Get out of my way so I can go home. ”

His statement drives something sharp through my heart. I have to look down to make sure it wasn’t tangible, “What?”

“Call me when you get back from your family’s house, we’ll go the next day to get the annulment. I’ll make sure Linda doesn’t schedule anything,” he folds his arms like mine. “Now move, I’m going home.”

What’s he saying? It takes me a second to process everything. He’s not coming with me to England. He’s scheduling our annulment. He’s leaving. He promised he wouldn’t leave and now he’s going.

“You’re leaving,” my breathing sounds like a laugh, but I don’t think that’s possible because everything hurts. My eyes burn hot, my arms drop to my sides, and I feel like everything I just ate is about to come back up. Looking up at him, I make myself move away from the entrance, “That was fast.”

“What do you mean? You’re the one that doesn’t want to be a part of this,” I feel his eyes on me as I walk into the lounge and sit down on the loveseat.

Shaking my head, I wave him off, “Just go. You don’t want to be here, I’m not going to make you stay.”

His laugh is humorless, “You honestly think that?”

I look up to see him looking down at me from across the room, “You wouldn’t leave if you didn’t want to.”

“I want to be with you,” he moves into the room to stop in front of me. “I want you to live with me and fall in love with me. I want everything about you.”

“Then why would you leave me?” I look straight into his eyes.

He crouches down in front of me and puts his hands on either of my knees, “I can’t read your mind. You need to tell me how you feel.”

“I don’t know how,” I admit staring into his eyes.

Sighing, he stands back up and walks toward the door rubbing his forehead, “Will you do me a favor?”

“Anything.”

He kicks off his runners and sheds his jumper, “Come back to the bedroom.”

I hear my phone ring as I enter the room. Crawling over to my side of the bed, I take the small device off my nightstand, “It’s Riel. Do you mind?”

He shakes his head as he takes off his t-shirt and walks to my closet.

“Hello?” I answer as I watch my husband grab two pairs of pajama bottoms.

Her voice comes over the phone loud and high-pitched, “OH MY GOD I JUST SAW YOUR INTERVIEW!”

I chuckle not letting my gaze waver. Getting more comfortable, I lean my back against my headboard and cross my legs at my ankles, “I should have figured.”

“You guys were amazing. I can’t believe you’re staying together. I’m so happy that you’re happy,” she gushes.

Topher catches me looking as he walks out of my closet. I swallow loudly, but try to concentrate of the conversation I’m having, “How do you know we’re staying married?”

“I could read it on your faces,” she tells me as if it obvious. “You’ll realize you love him soon.”

“Mm,” I make a noise of agreement as I watch my best friend walk to my side of the bed, “I don’t believe in love.” My lips become dry as he stops right next to me. Licking them wet again, I look into his eyes, “Riel says she saw our interview.”

I vaguely hear her shout, “He’s there?”

“Did she see us dance?” he asks me plain-faced when he drops the two pairs of bottoms on my lap.

“Yea,” I answer him without even asking her. My eyes rake down his body slowly, stopping at his waistband, before making the same path up.

“Is he staying at your place?” Riel’s voice breaks me out of my trance.

Clearing my throat, I nod even though she can’t see me, “Yea,” I make sure to capture his gaze. “We’re moving in together.”

A smile finally hits his lips he reaches for the button on his jeans. Taking a step back, my best friend pushes off his trousers leaving him in only his boxers. My eyes won’t look away no matter how many times I tell them that it isn’t polite to stare.

“You are?!” our dark-skinned friend questions loudly.

Handing him a pair of the pajamas from my lap, I chuckle, “Yea. I think we’ll stay at his, though.”

He pulls up the pajamas and climbs onto the bed. Toph sits cross-legged next to my knees and holds a hand out to me. When I take it, he pulls my body forward and at grabs the hem of my shirt, pulling up.

“So you really have thought about it? Did he admit to anything yet?” my female friend continues our conversation without the knowledge of what’s going on at our end.

I chuckle as he starts to strip off my shirt, “He actually did.”

“I knew it,” she confirms and I can almost see her smug smile. “Were you mad?”

I take the phone away from my face for a second so he can take my shirt all the way off. Putting my cell back, I answer looking into Toph’s blue eyes, “No, it’s not a big deal.”

“What was that noise? What are you doing?” she interrogates me through our wireless phones.

I have to bite my lip when my best friend reaches for the button on my trousers, “Nothing. We’re just getting ready for bed.”

Removing the pajamas from my lap, he starts to shimmy my jeans down. I lift my hips to help him a bit and sit back again when he gets them over my bum. Once he gets them to my knees, he moves agonizingly slow, removing them one leg at a time.

“Why is he so quiet, Day?” she sounds accusing. “You guys aren’t getting frisky with me on the phone, are you?”

I can’t help the laugh that escapes my lips, “No, I told you we’re putting on our night clothes.”

“I’ve never hear Topher that quiet for so long,” I know she’s right, but I refuse to give in.

“Christopher,” I smile at him, “will you tell Riel that all we are doing is getting dressed for bed?”

He chuckles as he leaves me in just boxers. Moving so he’s on his hands and knees over my body, he brings his face close to the phone, “I would say more getting undressed for bed. But Day’s right, we aren’t doing anything other than that.” As he finishes the sentence, he places his lips on my neck.

My eyes roll in back of my head and I have to struggle to keep in a moan as I fall back against the headboard again. Exposing the skin on my neck as much as possible, I try to regulate my breathing while my husband tortures me sweetly.

“I knew it, you little perverts,” our female friend shouts.

I feel Toph’s lips form a smile as he continues placing small pecks all over my collar-line. He doesn’t bite or linger; just small loving caresses.

“Mm,” I agree. “I should probably get off the phone then.”

“You’re sick,” she genuinely laughs not at all really disturbed. “Call me tomorrow so that I can talk to you without your husband’s lips all over you.”

Toph breaks away for a second earning himself a scowl. He apparently finds that funny, “I wasn’t all over, Riel; just here and there.”

“Am I on speaker phone?” she asks a bit confused.

“No,” he explains to her while he holds the same position he was in. The phone still to my ear and in my hand as he says, “my lips were just on his-”

“Okay,” she interrupts with a chuckle. “That’s something I don’t need to know.”

“Neck,” I finish his sentence as I bring my head back up. “He was going to say neck. Who’s the pervert now?”

Moving to sit back on the bed, Toph picks up the pajama bottoms and hands them to me, “I’ll help you undress anytime, but I refuse to put clothes on you.”

“I’m getting off the phone,” Riel calls out. “Call me tomorrow, Kloveyoubye.” She doesn’t wait for me to reply before she hangs up.

Scrunching my brows together, I sit the phone on my side table and look up at my best friend, “You really won’t help me dress?”

“You really want my help?” his famous lopsided grin etches his face.

Shaking my head, I mock anger, “You started something. You finish it.”

“I like the sounds of that,” he starts to crawl toward my face again before I realize what I said.

Gasping, I put a hand to his shoulder, “Not what I meant.”

We both smile as he continues to advance slowly, “That’s how I’m taking it.”

“You really are a pervert.”

“Only for you.”

“I’m sure.”

Once his mouth gets close to my neck, he whispers, “There’s something about you that drives me crazy.”

His voice vibrates against my skin making me swallow nervously, “Yea?”

“I have to hold myself back from ravishing you all the time,” he admits as he moves his lips so they only lightly brush my jaw.

It’s enough for me to feel the warm tingle of the energy coming from him, but not actually pressing against me.

“What if I’m not ready for that?” I ask him genuinely concerned.

I’ve never been with a guy before kissing Toph. I’m not even sure I like that sort of thing. As the hours pass with him, I’ve thought about it more than a few times, but it’s still terrifying. This is something completely new to me.

Skimming over my collarbone in the same fashion, he assures me, “We won’t do anything until you’re ready.” Putting a hand on the small of my back, my husband moves away so he can guide me to lay under him on the bed, “But I do hope you’re ready soon.”

“Me too,” I look into his eyes to show him how serious I am.

He leans down to peck me on the lips, but then backs away so that he’s not hovering over me anymore. Standing, he takes the pajamas from next to me and lifts my legs pulling them up all the way. “For the record,” he looks at me sincerely, “I like undressing you better. But you should also know,” he climbs back over me to his side, but snuggles up close and looks up at me, “I would do anything for you.”

Wrapping an arm around him, I lean forward a bit to place my lips on his, “The feelings mutual.”

“Good,” he rests his head on my chest. “Then you won’t mind getting up and turning off the lights.”

Shaking my head, I let go of him to switch off the lights. Once I make my way back to bed, we cuddle up again and I kiss him goodnight.