3 Hangover Remedies

I wake up the next morning with the worst headache of my life. I feel like shit. I may still even be a little drunk.

Instantly, I realize I'm only in my boxers and someone's head is place on my naked chest. Not only that, but their arms are snaked around my waist and their legs are in a tangle with mine. It's oddly comfortable enough for me not to want to look down to see who it is.

The last thing I remember last night is kissing Topher; which I have no idea why I did. I know he initiated it, but I didn't stop it what-so-ever. However, after that, the evening has disappeared.

Lifting my left hand, as to not disturb the person snuggled into my right; I run it through my unruly brown hair and down to my face. As my fingers hit my cheek bone, my hand stops and my eyes widen. Shutting my eyes quickly, I pull my digits away and hold the offending body part at arm's length.

Do it quickly, I tell myself. My eyes shoot open as I look to confirm my suspicions. A ring resides on my left hand on that very significant finger. If I thought I was sick before, my stomach really wanted to purge everything now.

The second 'do it quickly' was finding out who was laying on my chest; although at this point I'm pretty sure I already know. I've already figure out with one look around whose room I'm in - whose bed I'm in. Sure enough, when I look down I see my best friend's blonde hair sticking in all different directions.

Now the questions are: How do I get up without waking him? How did we get back here last night? And who, the fuck, am I married to?

Maybe, I'm not actually married. It was probably just a joke, right?

None of this pondering is actually making a difference.

Taking a deep - but silent - breath, I go for the quick approach again. I try to pull my arm out, but he nuzzles closer into me. It's then that I notice that he is only wearing boxers as well.

I will not mention how I notice this or what is poking me that made me figure it out.

I'm not really sure how to act. I don't know the proper etiquette for waking up in your best mate's bed snuggling close to him.

Sighing, I figure I'm going to have to get out of here somehow. I can't just lay here for the rest of my life. So I do the only thing I can think of; I shake him. I grab him by the shoulders and move his body back and forth until his eyes open.

Once they do, they shoot open like a firecracker. Apparently, he wasn't expecting our embrace either.

He sits up just as fast as his eyes open causing him to almost fall off the bed.

"What happened?" he asks me as he rubs his face.

Sitting up as well, my eyes grow another level of surprise when I see the metal hoop that matches mine on his left-hand ring finger; except, his isn't exactly like mine. Mine is just a gold hoop with 3 little diamonds on the outside, typical of what you would see as a male wedding band. His looks like the counterpart to mine. The band is delicate with 3 diamonds that are mounted instead of laid-in. It's the lady's ring in the set; wedding band included.

In his defense, it's less girly then some of the rings I've seen.

Without saying anything, I point to the small object.

He looks at me like I have two heads. He hasn't noticed yet. He doesn't feel the weight of both of our lives circling his finger.

I hold up my left hand and point to the ring then point back to his hand in a silent gesture.

His eyes grow to the size of saucers as he figures out what I'm trying to say. He tries to tug off the offending piece of jewelry with no prevail, "Please tell me this is a joke. And why am I wearing the girl's ring?"

I rub my hands over my face one last time before looking into his eyes.

"Say something!" he yells at me as he hops out of the bed leaving the ring in place and grabs the first pair of trousers he sees.

I watch him tug them on before saying, "I don't remember anything."

I see him swallow nervously as he scratches the back of his neck, "Nothing?"

"Well," I admit sheepishly as I sit up properly, "I remember sitting on the bar and putting my arm around your neck. But that's it," I lie to him.

"You don't know what happened after that?" he asks a little timidly.

His face is so bashful that I can't help but chuckle. Then I can't hold in the laughter that follows. The next thing I know we are both cracking up lying on the bed trying to catch our breaths.

"You do know," he says it more of a statement than a question.

I nod as I calm the last of my chuckles, "I remember you kissing me."

"Hey now, you were the one that pulled me closer," he accuses humorously.

I sit up again and point at him, "I couldn't have possibly. You were already holding me like I was your bride." And then it dawn on me, "Oh my God. Was I your bride last night?"

"I have no idea," he tells me with an honest look on his face. He then looks down to the ring again, "Do you think these are real?"

"Like real diamonds? I'm sure they are."

"No," he laughs and tries to tug at the jewelry again. "Like are we married? Is that even possible?"

"We need to find out."

"For sure," as he says it, the intercom buzzes in his living room. I follow him out and pull on a pair of jeans on the way. He makes his way to the small white box hanging on the wall and presses a button, "Yea?"

"Sir, a package was just delivered from Connecticut. It says urgent," his doorman says through the speaker. "Would you like me to bring it up?"

He looks over at me with a question in his gaze. I shrug. Turning back to the intercom, he presses the button again, "Yea sure. Thanks, Jim."

"No problem, Mr. Ashton," Jim answers.

"I don't think I've been to Connecticut since two summers ago," Topher shrugs his shoulders as he walks over to the front door. He opens it and leans against the frame to wait for the package. "What do you think it could be?"

Shaking my head, I jut out my lip, "How would I know what kind of post comes to your place?"

After I say it, Jim shows up in the doorway with a long manila envelope in his hand, "Here you go, sir."

"Thanks again," my best friend calls out as he shuts the door behind his retreating doorman. "Should I open it now?"

"Jim said urgent," I point out as I make my way over to his breakfast bar.

He sets the post on the counter before walking to the refrigerator, "You want a Vitamin Water? They're the best for hangovers."

"Yes please," I run another hand through my hair and yawn.

Taking out two bottles, he walks over to where I'm sitting and takes the stool next to me, "I should probably just open it. Not like it's going to kill me."

I nod in agreement as my stomach rumbles, "You want a bacon roll?"

"What's a bacon roll?" he asks me as I stand to walk to his fridge.

"It's a bloody bacon roll. Do you want one or not?" Taking out the bacon and cheese I turn to him and raise an eyebrow.

He looks over at what's on the counter next to me, "It has cheese on it?"

"Yea," I tell him and smile, "and egg if you play your cards right."

"So it's a breakfast sandwich?"

"I just said that."

"No, you said bacon roll."

"You want one or not?"

"Yea, extra cheese on mine."

"Greedy bastard."

I set to work cooking the bacon and hear him tearing the envelope a second later.

"You've got to be shitting me," it comes out as barely a whisper; I can just hear it over the pop of the grease.

Turning around, I see that all color has drained from Topher's face, "What's wrong, Toph?"

He just shakes his head and stares at the paper he's taken out of the envelope.

"You're starting to scare me," I tell him as I'm taking the bacon off the stove. Cracking a few eggs in the already greased pan, I wait until they're cooked to actually get a good look at him.

"Topher," I try to look into his eyes as I hand him his roll. He still doesn't say anything as I set my plate in front of the chair next to him. "Are you going to answer me?" I ask him as I make my way around the counter.

He snaps out of it as I place my hand on his shoulder. Handing me the paper, he stands and starts pacing back and forth in his lounge. I stare after him for a second before looking at the paper in my hand.

My stomach hits the floor right next to my jaw.

It's a marriage license. It has my name on it, right under Topher's.

It's telling me that Topher -Christopher Lee David Ashton- is my -Damian Jacob Moore-Hill- husband. This is real. This is an actual thing. This wasn't just kissing your best friend while you're drunk. We actually got married.

I look up at him to see that he's still pacing. I set the paper down on the counter next to our abandoned food, "Maybe it's some kind of mistake."

"This isn't a mistake, Day. They have our legal names on there," he points to the paper like it's going to physically attack him. "Those aren't just our stage names. And I know for sure, that's my legal signature at the bottom. The one I use for documents not autographs."

I look down at our signature portion and see that he's right. That's my legitimate signature as well. Well, it's a little sloppy and not quite as on the line as it should be, but it's not my autograph.

He's also right about the legal names. On screen and to my fans I go by Damon Jacobs; when in reality my first name is Damian and my middle name is Jacob.

"It says that Riel and Sammi were our witnesses," I point to the black and white paper. "Maybe they remember something."

He lets out a huge sigh as he stops his pacing to rub both hands down his face, "Yea, I guess. You want to eat, and then we can go over to Sam's?"

I nod in agreement, "Yea."

"So I guess this our first meal as a married couple," I see him crack a smile from the corner of my eye. "You still think I can't handle you?"

"Oh bugger off," I tell him with a laugh. "You're already asking for a divorce. I've proven my point without having to do anything."

"Who said anything about a divorce?"

I feel all the color blanch from my face, "You're kidding, right?"

He breaks out laughing as I feel my breath coming back to my body.

"You're such an ass," I tell him as a take a bite of my bacon roll.

"I could still handle you."

I shake my head chuckling as I look up at him, "I can't wait to be your ex-husband."

"Oh my God," he says as he face becomes serious again as he sits down a few minutes later.

I finish my last bite and look at him, "What?"

"You're always going to be my ex-husband. Like for the rest of our lives."

"Would you rather me be your husband?"

"This is so weird," he admits as he lets his head hang into his hands.

I laugh and pat him on the back as I make my way to his room, "You should have never kissed me. I told you, you couldn't handle it."