Chapter 32 - Missing You

Xiao Ruan opened a flower shop in Z City. Shen Shuyun, who was pregnant and finding it hard to find work, decided to help out at Xiao Ruan's flower shop. He wasn't expecting to earn much from the job; he had worked for ten years before and had some savings that were enough for him to have the baby without doing anything else. Actually, helping at the flower shop was just a way for him to keep busy and avoid thinking too much about the past.

Now at the flower shop, every day was spent wrapping flowers, watering them, and occasionally chatting with customers. These days were much easier than when he used to teach, and he slowly felt less troubled.

Xiao Ruan gathered the jasmine flowers that had just been delivered this morning, arranged them in a vase, and placed them on the counter. The jasmine buds, small and white, were hidden among the lush green leaves, giving a clumsy but cute appearance. Xiao Ruan looked at Shen Shuyun, who was wearing only a loose white shirt in the December weather of Z City, with his five-month belly hanging in front of him—his slender figure made the protruding abdomen very noticeable, especially when he sat, like carrying half a watermelon.

At this time, the shop was not very busy. Shen Shuyun sat by the window, casually tending to a bunch of champagne-colored daisies. Xiao Ruan walked over with a small plate of cookies and, after a moment of thought, decided to say something he had been holding back for days: "Shuyun, have you ever thought about... going back to find your alpha?"

Shen Shuyun's hand paused in mid-air, then he looked down and smiled: "Why bring this up suddenly?"

"Because I've been pregnant too! I know that an omega who is pregnant without the comfort of an alpha's pheromones has a very hard time during pregnancy! Haven't you felt any physical changes these days?"

Shen Shuyun chuckled with some helplessness and looked up at Xiao Ruan: "I know, I've read the omega pregnancy manual."

Pregnant omegas endure both mental and physical stress. Omegas need the calming influence of alpha pheromones to help regulate the increase in pheromones due to pregnancy, and the development of the fetus also requires the alpha parent's pheromones. Otherwise, the child will rely too much on and absorb the omega's pheromones, which is very taxing on the omega's body. The omega might face premature birth or postpartum depression.

For this reason, the country has laws stipulating that during an omega's pregnancy, the alpha cannot request a divorce and must stay with the omega until childbirth. Not only does the omega get maternity leave, but the alpha is also entitled to paternity leave— meaning the alpha can take time off during the last month of the omega's pregnancy and stay with them until one month after childbirth.

Xiao Ruan genuinely did not understand what had happened between Shen Shuyun and Ning Wan. He looked at Shen Shuyun with confusion, carefully choosing his words: "Then since you're pregnant... how did you end up divorced? There are legal regulations..."

Shen Shuyun interrupted him, with a hint of comfort: "When we divorced, we didn't know about this child, so it's not as bad as you think. We sort of... parted ways harmoniously."

"But you're pregnant now!" Xiao Ruan couldn't help raising his voice, "Your complexion has been so pale, it must be because of the lack of alpha pheromones. You can't keep pushing yourself like this! Are you going to endure it until you give birth?"

"I've been to the hospital for alpha pheromone soothing agents, I'm not just hanging on."

"But you know! Those soothing agents are still not fully developed and cannot completely replace real alpha pheromones! Moreover, the child needs the father's pheromones, not synthetic ones from the hospital. Using these soothing agents is just self-deception!"

"Enough!" Shen Shuyun got angry for the first time, frowning with rage, his lips trembling, "This is my own business, no need for you to worry."

Xiao Ruan's words seemed to strip away the last layer of Shen Shuyun's protective shield, forcing him to face the old wounds that had never healed, to see the festering, infected places, unable to do anything about them.

Go back to find Ning Wan? How should he find him? In what capacity?

As the ex-husband, or as the child's father, suddenly intruding into Ning Wan's life?

He had been trying to avoid thinking about Ning Wan, but whenever he thought about being just Ning Wan's mistake, or that Ning Wan might have already found the right answer and was holding the real jasmine, it made his head throb with pain.

Forget it, don't use this child to force Ning Wan—otherwise, it would be too humiliating. Begging persistently was something Shen Shuyun could not do, and it was better to leave Ning Wan with a good final impression.

Shen Shuyun took a sip of water to calm down, then apologized to Xiao Ruan: "Sorry, I spoke too harshly just now."

Xiao Ruan stood up, hurriedly waving his hand, with a full apology: "I'm the one who should apologize. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have meddled in your personal affairs."

Shen Shuyun had been Xiao Ruan's roommate for four years and knew that Xiao Ruan was a straightforward, somewhat clueless person who spoke without thinking but never meant harm. He smiled and put on his usual calm, gentle facade, saying softly: "Let's forget about this. Let's talk about something happy."

Xiao Ruan's eyes lit up, and he quickly walked over to help Shen Shuyun with the daisies, saying, "At the end of this month, my brother Xiao Mo will be coming back from Singapore. He's taking a vacation and will be home for Christmas, so we can all get together. He's sure to bring a lot of gifts. You should come to our house for hot pot!"

"Sure," Shen Shuyun replied, gripping the flower stem with one hand while discreetly rubbing his side where the baby had just kicked, causing him some pain. "But having hot pot for Christmas at your house is quite an varied mix."

He was trying to recall the name Xiao Mo, vaguely remembering having met him during university, but that was many years ago, and now his recollection was quite fuzzy, even to the point of not remembering what he looked like.

"Haha, what's wrong with that? We call it a mix of East and West! By the way, are there any ingredients you need to avoid?"

Shen Shuyun shook his head. "No need to make special arrangements for me. Just buy what you want, and I'll pick what I feel like eating."

"Great, it's settled then. Make sure to come!"

"Definitely."

— — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Ning Wan's company had been in a lawsuit with the steel company from September to December, and it finally reached a conclusion—a good one: they won the case. After more than ten days of high-pressure preparation, it was finally over today. Tang Yichuan's face finally showed some smile as he put on a long down jacket, rubbing his hands together, and white mist-like breath escaped his lips before he spoke: "Great, it's finally over. Ning Wan, how about going for a drink to celebrate?"

"Why do you always think about drinking? Don't you know that drinking harms your health?"

"Hey, how dare you accuse me!" Tang Yichuan sneered, "Aren't you the one who was reeking of alcohol recently? ... Besides, if drinking can ease the pain, it's not so bad to disregard the health risks."

Ning Wan still shook his head, feeling the warmth on his forehead and cheeks returning: "No thanks, I'm going home today. We can celebrate another time."

He called a driver to take him back to his empty home, took out the medicine cabinet, found a box of fever-reducing and anti-inflammatory pills, and took a few pills haphazardly with water. Then he dragged his heavy steps to the bedroom, collapsing onto the large bed and closing his eyes to smell the faint sweet pheromones remaining on the pillow.

The air Ning Wan inhaled was cool, but it felt extremely hot as it circulated through his feverish body and was exhaled. He knew he was running a fever again. He had visited his mother's grave two days ago, sitting in front of the tomb and talking a lot to his mother. He might have caught a cold from the wind, and then he started sneezing and developed a fever the next day.

Even with a fever, Ning Wan couldn't take sick leave. He had to take some medicine and continue handling matters at the company, including the next day's lawsuit. He couldn't skip it. He went to the hospital for an IV drip in the early morning, finished it by 7 AM, tidied himself up, and went to the court with Tang Yichuan.

He was physically and mentally exhausted these days, but he couldn't show this fatigue in front of anyone—he was the company's boss and cornerstone, and if he faltered now, it would significantly impact morale. Even if Ning Wan was tired, he had to put on a bright face. Only at home could he fully relax.

This illness was severe; even after the IV drip, the fever returned. Ning Wan felt like his lungs were two worn-out bellows, wheezing as they expelled hot, damp air.

His memory was a bit disordered, flashing between his childhood when he had a fever at night and his mother holding him and cooling his face with her cool hands, and scenes of Shen Shuyun lying beside him, changing the ice towel on his forehead... He would push Shen Shuyun away, but Shen Shuyun would stubbornly lie next to him, saying he had strong resistance and telling Ning Wan to worry less. Eventually, both of them ended up in the hospital, getting injections together.

Shen Shuyun, afraid yet still trying to joke, would say, "See, isn't this also quite good? Today, I can legitimately take sick leave, and there's someone to accompany you for the injection."

Later, Ning Wan learned that Shen Shuyun wasn't afraid of the injection itself, but of the pain, which was why he was so reluctant about it.

Ning Wan instinctively wanted to call Shen Shuyun. He didn't really want to do anything; he just wanted to hear Shen Shuyun's cool and soothing voice. But when he pressed the dial button and saw "Brother Yun" on the screen, the familiar cold mechanical female voice came through the receiver: "Hello, the number you dialed is out of service. Please try again later..."

Ning Wan dejectedly put down the phone, staring blankly at the dark screen. This was not the first time he had called Shen Shuyun... but the result was always the same: no answer.