Chapter 34 - New Year

Xiao Mo actually didn't stay in the country for long; he settled in Singapore and didn't have a house in Z City. Although Xiao Ruan is Xiao Mo's younger brother, Xiao Ruan is already married, so it's not appropriate for him to live at Xiao Ruan's house all the time, and he has been staying at a hotel instead.

Recently, Shen Shuyun and Xiao Mo had some interactions, and he also heard a lot about Xiao Mo from Xiao Ruan's big mouth. For instance, Xiao Mo is actually his half-brother, and when their mother divorced, Xiao Mo was given to their mother. The reason they have the same surname is because although their fathers are different, both fathers happened to have the surname Xiao. Also, Xiao Mo just divorced early last year; his former spouse was a female omega and a strong career woman. When they got married, people said they were a golden couple, a match made in heaven, but unexpectedly, they broke up in less than seven years. Fortunately, they didn't have any children. Xiao Ruan didn't know the exact reasons for the divorce.

Shen Shuyun listened with indifference. In fact, he wasn't that interested in Xiao Mo, or rather, right now, no matter who was around him, it didn't stir any emotions. He was always lazy, like a cat in spring, perpetually half-asleep with drooping eyes. He trimmed the white carnations in his hands and casually asked, "Your brother is an alpha, right? What does his pheromone smell like?"

Sometimes the world itself is very unfair. Some people are destined to have no power to resist—once an omega is permanently marked by an alpha, they completely belong to this alpha. Not only will their pheromones be "hidden," meaning neither alpha nor omega can smell their pheromones or be affected by them, but they also cannot smell other alpha's pheromones, making it impossible to distinguish between alpha and beta.

"Yeah, he's an alpha." Xiao Ruan squinted and thought for a moment, "My brother isn't a pure-blood alpha, and his pheromone can't be clearly described... Well, if I had to describe it, it's a bit like coffee, with a hint of bitter aroma."

Shen Shuyun nodded, looked down at the white carnations, and suddenly remembered that when he married Ning Wan, Ning Wan had a blooming white carnation pinned to his chest. He had asked why not red roses, and Ning Wan smiled with his eyes crescent-shaped, with starlight falling into those moon-shaped eyes. He said it was because the flower language of white carnations is eternal love.

His heart felt like it was pricked by a long, thin needle. Shen Shuyun blinked, pushed those memories back into the wooden box in the corner, and casually handed the white carnations to Xiao Ruan, softly saying something Xiao Ruan couldn't understand: "It's not a bad thing if the pheromone is ordinary."

January 8th was the day Xiao Mo returned to Singapore. Xiao Ruan took Shen Shuyun to the airport to see Xiao Mo off.

Xiao Mo was wearing a black turtleneck sweater. The sunlight coming in made his shadow stretch long. Shen Shuyun stared at his shadow, somehow seeing a sense of loneliness. Xiao Mo went to print his ticket and check in his luggage, while Xiao Ruan chatted endlessly with Shen Shuyun. Shen Shuyun felt a bit tired standing there, but he didn't say anything and just quietly listened to Xiao Ruan's words, being a qualified listener.

When Xiao Mo had finished all these tasks and it was almost boarding time, he walked over, gave Xiao Ruan a strong hug, patted his back, just like every time they parted in childhood, and instructed, "Take care of yourself."

Then, he walked in front of Shen Shuyun, smiled with clear eyes, and naturally patted Shen Shuyun's shoulder: "Xiao Yun, you too, take care of yourself. Xiao Ruan is childish; even though he's over thirty, he still acts like a kid. Don't always give in to him; your own comfort is the most important, understand?"

Shen Shuyun felt a bit embarrassed. He had always been in the role of the older one, whether in school or at home, and rarely did anyone speak to him in this tone. He softly said, "Thank you, Brother Xiao."

Xiao Mo smiled a couple of times, rolled up his sleeves, and Shen Shuyun gradually relaxed under his calm gaze. "When is the baby's due date?"

"This March."

"Good, then I'll send some gifts for the baby when the time comes."

Shen Shuyun was about to say there was no need to spend money on gifts, but seeing Xiao Mo's eyes, he knew he couldn't refuse and just nodded: "Then thank you in advance for the baby."

Xiao Mo's smile deepened, and he waved goodbye to the two people in front of him: "That's it for now, see you next year."

After saying that, he turned and left gracefully, without a hint of hesitation.

In mid-January, Shen Shuyun and Xiao Ruan agreed that he would no longer help at the flower shop. At this time, he was already seven months pregnant, feeling heavy and not wanting to go out much. He spent all day at home reading books and sleeping, and he had lost interest in cooking. His daily life might seem boring to others.

But what really tortured Shen Shuyun wasn't this mundane life, but the extreme lack of alpha pheromones.

The synthetic pheromones provided by the hospital were no match for real alpha pheromones. The longer he was pregnant, the harder it became for Shen Shuyun. The baby's movements were very intense, causing Shen Shuyun to often be unable to sleep through the night. His mental state deteriorated under this continuous pain. His whole body was craving the scent of juniper berries. Even though he wanted to forget Ning Wan, his physiological reactions told him every second: you can't.

Shen Shuyun was severely emaciated, with his entire body seeming to have only a bulge in front, and his cheeks and limbs showing prominent bones. His long, slender hands had only a thin layer of skin covering the bones, making his knuckles clearly visible. The light blue veins on his hands stood out, and the blood flowing through them was extremely thin.

He stood up from the sofa, unsteadily walked to the kitchen, took out a bottle of whiskey, opened the lid, and placed it under his nose, almost greedily smelling the aroma of the liquor. The long-forgotten scent of alcohol lingered around his nose. Although it was not alpha pheromone, Shen Shuyun still clung to the cold bottle's mouth and took a deep breath.

The taste of juniper berries fermented into alcohol made Shen Shuyun's head numb. He recalled that this scent once protected him in a heavy rain and had also given him a long, lingering kiss by the beach and under the coconut trees.

Longing was like a thorny vine, tightly wrapping around Shen Shuyun's throat, making his throat bleed, but he couldn't even let out a single cry of pain.

After a long time, Shen Shuyun, feeling dizzy, managed to put the cap back on the bottle. Before he could put the bottle back into the cupboard, the phone rang. He looked at it; it was a WeChat call from his father.

After answering, a familiar and gentle voice came from the other end: "Xiao Yun, how have you been lately?"

The concern in the voice shattered Shen Shuyun's pretense of calm. He lowered his head somewhat weakly, the bones of his neck propping up his pale skin, making him look like a desperate swan: "... I'm fine, don't worry about me."

He didn't want his parents to worry about his romantic life at their age, so he didn't tell them about the divorce. At this moment, he even told a harmless little lie: he was fine.

"That's good." The voice on the other end carried a smile, "The New Year is early this year. January 28th is New Year's Eve. When do you and Xiao Wan plan to come back? Your father and I will make preparations."

Shen Shuyun's fingers tightened, and after a long while, he answered: "Dad, I... I and Ning Wan won't be coming back for the New Year this year. We... we are going on vacation abroad and plan to celebrate the New Year there."

He also wanted to go home, but going back alone with this child would only add to the gloominess of the New Year. Why bother making festive days gloomy?

He could only go back after the baby was born.

"Vacation abroad?"

"Yeah, we left when school was on winter break. We can't come back now." Shen Shuyun swallowed the bitter lump in his throat, trying to keep his voice calm, "Let's wait until March. I'll come back to see you then."

"Okay..." Shen Shuyun's father paused and then said, "When you come back in March, I'll make you some good food."

Shen Shuyun's tongue tasted bitter. He thought that in the future, there would be no "you both," and when he went back, it would only be him alone.

"Okay." Shen Shuyun looked at the lights and starry sky outside, softly said, "Dad, Happy New Year."

"You too, Happy New Year!"