Fabio POV
Pecco won the race. He was so strong, I couldn't overtake. I'm a little disappointed, I got so close. But at the same time I'm really happy. Both of us were a lot stronger than all the others.
And I can't wait to go back to the motorhome and celebrate with Julie.
I can't get her out of my head. When I'm not riding or in a session, I'm thinking about her. I've never had that before.
It's scary, but exciting at the same time.
The kiss before the race said it all for me. It made my heart pound and made me feel alive. I told her before, it felt like riding a bike, but this felt even better.
After the podium ceremony, the interviews and the press conference, Tom and I walk back to the motorhome. I'm curious about her thoughts on the race, on my riding. I hope she's proud.
We walk inside and it's quiet. The TV is off and there's no sign of Julie.
Tom walks to his bedroom and comes back with a piece of paper in hand.
"Where's Julie?", I ask him confused. She wanted to watch here, she told me.
"I found this", Tom holds the piece of paper,
"Hey Tom, when you read this I've already left. I hope Fabio's race went well.
I'm on my way to my parents in Belgium, where I'm going to stay for a while. I'm not running, I just need some time. Don't worry about me, we'll talk soon. Love you, Julie", he reads out loud. She left? To Belgium? Shit..
Tom looks a little confused at the letter in his hands. I feel confused. I thought we were finally figuring things out. But I was wrong. She just left. Tom takes his phone and presses it against his ear. No doubt, calling Julie. But after a while he puts it back down. She's not answering. Maybe she's on a plane or something.
I walk to my room, I take of the leathers when I find a letter myself.
Dear Fabio,
I hope you had a good race. I'm on my way to my parents in Belgium right now. I wanted to give you some time to think and I need some time myself. I know you're probably not liking the fact that I just left. But I didn't want to tell you this, just before your important race.
I'm very thankful and grateful for everything you did for me. You let me in to your home and that's the nicest thing anyone ever did.
Maybe we will see each other in Le Mans. Dr Zasa offered me a job at the clinica mobile and maybe I'll take it.
Know that I don't expect anything from you. If you want to reach out in any moment you can. But you don't have to. Know it's also up to you. I'm not going to reach out. I want to, but I won't.
I respect and understand your choice. But I think a relationship with the right girl will work out. For you and the lucky girl. Someone told me, you're riding will only improve and you'd want to make her proud. I believe that's true and I hope you find her.
I'm thankful for everything that happened between us and I will never forget it. If we don't stay in touch; good luck on your next championship, you'll always have my support
Love, Julie
P.s. that kiss.. It means everything to me. I want you to know I will always remember that moment, I felt the most happy I ever felt. Thank you.
I read and reread the letter a few times, before folding it and putting it on my nightstand.
Tom stands in the doorway, "you okay?"
I nod, "yeah, I'm gonna shower. Dinner afterwards?"
"Chicken nuggets?", Tom knows what I want. I nod and he walks back out. I get my phone and look at the text messages. My phone is blowing up, but nothing from Julie. Just like she said in the letter.
After my shower we had dinner together. We played some videogames and went to bed early. Tomorrow we have a test before heading back.
In bed I can't stop thinking about the last days, about Julie. I want to text her, but I don't know what I should text.
Maybe I should take a few days. But I just want to know how she's doing, where she is, if she saw the race, what she's thinking.
'Hey, I've read your letter', I type the message and delete it. 'I hope you're okay', I try again, but delete it.
Everything seems wrong. Maybe she doesn't even want to talk to me.
I take the letter from my nightstand and read it again.
She talks about time. She needs some time. If she does, I can't text her right now.
I put the letter and my phone down.
In the next few days I keep myself busy. When I'm not, I'm thinking about Julie.
But I'm also thinking about what she wrote. She wrote something about relationships. Maybe she's right. After the race I wanted to know if she would be proud. I wanted to make her proud. But at the same time I'm afraid I can't be committed in a relationship. I'm way to busy with the races and training and stuff. I can't give a girl what she wants and needs.
It's Thursday and Tom and I are on our way to Rocco's ranch. Riccardo will be there and it'll be fun.
"Have you talked to Juul?", Tom asks me in the car.
"No, you?"
He shakes his head a little disappointed, "she won't return my calls"
"I'm sure she's fine"
"She posted a story last night. Did you see?", It's my turn to shake my head. I didn't even know she has Instagram.
"It's a photo of half her face with the words 'va bene non stare bene' ".
"It's okay not to be okay?", I translate.
Why those words? "So you're worried?", I ask him.
"Yeah. Why would she do something like that? And why isn't she answering? She keeps running away. I don't get it"
"Maybe we will never get it? I mean we don't know what she's been through and we never will. We don't feel intimidated by other men like she probably does", I've been thinking about this a lot. "Plus if she needs you, she'll reach out"
I haven't seen Tom like this a lot. He's frustrated and sad. But maybe she just needs some time. It's only been a few days. A few long days, but still.
"Why haven't you two talked?", He asks.
"I didn't reach out yet", I simply answer. "I want to reach out, but I want to give her time, like she asked. So I haven't yet"
Tom nods but doesn't answer.
The rest of the week and start of next week is the same. Tom's in Nice and I'm back home in Andorra. Tom hasn't had contact with Julie and is frustrated. I haven't tried. I've looked at her Instagram every day. It's public so I didn't follow her yet. She follows me though. But doesn't like or comment. She didn't post anymore things since that photo. She looked cute but sad in it.
Now we are in Paris for the media stuff ahead of the French GP. My home race. I feel confident in my bike, my team and my riding. I'm excited to see all the fans. But I hope I see one other person there. And that makes me even more excited.
I have a checkup on Thursday, which is in two days and I hope she'll be there. I want to see her, talk to her, kiss her. That one kiss haunts me in my dreams. I've never kissed anyone like that.
I have had my fair share of kisses and girls spending the night. And that was hot and steamy, but this was different. This was not lust. This was much better.
I hope to kiss her like that again..