Margaux arrived that night. She stayed on the couch for the few hours that were left. Wednesday Fabio and Tom went golfing with a few Yamaha crew members. We had the house to ourselves. That night I slept in a bed with Margaux, while Fabio slept in a bed with Tom. I slept terrible. I kept tossing and turning and had trouble falling asleep. But I couldn't let Margaux or Tom sleep on the couch. A good host wouldn't let that happen.
Thursday we all went to Assen. Fabio had some media duties in the city centre and Margaux and I wanted to shop a little. So while Fabio did his stuff, we shopped until we dropped. I was tired after going through one store, let alone going in and out every single store.
But you need to shop when you got your first paycheck. And it was a lot more than I could wish for. So I allowed myself to spend a part on clothes.
You know I couldn't help but look at the men clothes as well. But you can't buy a 30 euro shirt for Fabio when he only wears designer stuff what costs like five times as much or even more.
And the same goes for jewellery, shoes and all other things. I want to give him a small present, a little gift which reminds him of me when I'm not with him. But that's impossible. Jewellery like a necklace, bracelet, a charm, things like that would be perfect. But that would cost more than my house.
I just stop searching. It's stupid anyway. But it keeps nagging in the back of my head. How do I survive holidays, birthdays? I need a second mortgage to give him a decent gift.
Margaux was in an excellent mood. She bought many cute clothes, sexy things and she looked gorgeous in everything.
I just bought a new shirt and some sandals and that's it. Margaux is so gorgeous, she did modelling work before. She has the right figure and she makes every piece of clothing sexy. Next to her I'm the ugly, fat stepsister. And that's how I felt.
When we got back, Fabio just finished talking to the last fan. He has the most crazy fans. A lot of young girls, which is kind of crazy in this world. And grownup men dressing up like the devil.
Fabio grins when he sees me and pulls me in a hug, he pecks my lips softly and it makes my head spin. It's exactly how I would want my boyfriend to greet me.
Some journalists see us and start taking pictures. I ask them in Dutch to stop taking pictures. They look surprised and start asking questions and I answer vaguely. Eventually they ask for an interview with both of us.
I ask Fabio what to do in French, so they wouldn't understand and he asks Maider to handle it.
"They made some really cute pictures of the two of you. They aren't gonna do anything with them though. But they want one short interview with the both of you for the Dutch local news because you live here", she tells us, mostly looking at me. Fabio looks at me as well.
"It's your private life we have to talk about. So it's up to you", he says.
I nod, "why not. The local news here isn't a big deal. Only the few people living here will watch"
"Great, I told them, they could tonight"
Maider is really the best in what she does. I nod and Fabio thanks her, before we walk off.
He takes my hand in his and guides me to the car. Tom, Mathilde and Margaux are already there.
I say Hi to Mathilde, while Fabio hugs her.
The five of us drive to my house together. Tom driving with Fabio next to him and us girls in the back. I'm sitting behind Fabio, leaning against the window. I want some much needed sleep, but I don't think I will get it. It's only an half hour drive and it's already two in the afternoon. And I need to be in the paddock at four thirty, while Fabio's press conference is at four. So he basicly will leave as soon as we get to my house. In the meantime I'm gonna shower and get ready and drive myself.
We arrive at my house and Margaux and Mathilde sit in the living room, while Tom, Fabio and I go upstairs. Tom packs his stuff, he sleeps in the motorhome to make room for Margaux.
I walk in my room, where Fabio is busy packing his stuff too.
"You're not sleeping here?", I don't hide my disappointment. I really wanted him with me this entire weekend.
"I'm sleeping in my motorhome", he continues packing. "You aren't staying here this weekend right?", He asks when I sit down on the bed.
I nod, "I think I will be staying at my home, it's only 20 minutes from the track"
"This may be your house, but your home is my home. Back in Andorra", that stings a little to hear. I get his feelings and I am his girlfriend now. But my home is here and when I'm ready Andorra can be my new home or my second home.
I decide not to go against it.
"I'm sorry, that came out wrong. This is your home. I just hope my home, will be your home too", he sighs, sitting down for a second. "I hoped you'd stay in the motorhome with me"
"I don't think I can. I can't leave Margaux. She needs me. And I really wanted to stay in my own place while I can. Who knows how long I can enjoy it", I thought about moving in with him eventually. I mean that's what would happen. And that's okay. And I also thought about the possibility of not living long. You'd never know.
"Nothing happened at the hospital right? They didn't say anything? Nothing changed?", he asks looking up. I shake my head, "Nothing changed"
I take some cute new clothes from my closet and lay them on the bed.
"I need to get ready. I'll see you before the interview", I softly kiss his cheek before heading into the bathroom.
After the shower, I changed, did my hair and even a little makeup. Something I don't usually do.
I drive myself to the circuit, while Margaux stayed at my house. I gave her a key and told her to fill the closet with her clothes. She will be staying here for a while, so it's her house now too.
I first have my meetings with the different riders and after we have that interview. I'm dreading it a little. What if the news in France pick it up and make big news out of it.
"You look beautiful", Pecco says when I walk into the Ducati hospitality. I smile at his compliment and kiss his cheek. I do the same with Luca and Marco.
"Thank you. I'm having an interview later with Fabio and I'm dreading it", I sigh a little, sitting down.
"Why?", Luca asks.
"They want an interview with Fabio's 'Dutch love interest' ", I quote the journalist. "It's Dutch local news, so no big deal. But what if it goes around on the Internet. What will the fans say. He has mostly young girls as fans. And that's not only because of his good riding"
Luca laughs softly. "Maybe we should introduce you to our girlfriends. Mar had trouble accepting all the extra attention. And not just because of me, but also because of Valentino"
Pecco nods, "Dudi is here this weekend. Mar too right?", He looks at Luca, who nods. "Chiara too?", He looks at Marco.
"No. But Chiara wants to stay out of the spotlight. So she can't help you", Marco says, looking at me. Wait, I didn't even know he has a girlfriend. He was flirting with me in Mugello and Luca said he liked me.
"Why don't you come back here tonight after your interview? Then we'll eat something here"
We discuss their races together. It's nice to see how they want to help each other and learn from each other.
I meet Fabio back in his motorhome. He's playing video games like nothing's going on.
"Hey. When's the interview?"
"In an hour", he is totally calm and relaxed.
"Maybe I should go home and take a taxi back then. I am going to the Ducati hospitality after to have dinner with Luca, Pecco and their girlfriends. Maybe I should sleep here, if you don't mind", I pace back and forth. More talking to myself then to Fabio. I should call Margaux first, to see if she wouldn't mind. And maybe we could get her a paddock pass for the weekend as well. Then she can come here if she wants and isn't so alone.
"Can we do that?", I ask Fabio, standing still.
"Do what?", I probably didn't say everything out loud.
"Can we get Margaux a paddock pass? So she can come here if she doesn't want to be alone?", I don't want her alone and I want to be at home. But I don't want to leave Fabio. I need him to sleep better, to not think so much, to not stress out.
"Yes. Maybe you should call her. If she wants to be here, she can take a taxi and drive back your car", Fabio gets up and stands in front of me, "you just sit down and relax. If she doesn't want to come, someone can drive your car back for you. Or you could leave it here"
"Yeah but if I leave it here, then she doesn't have a car"
"Okay, Julie, look at me", Fabio says serious. "Margaux got here yesterday with her own car. She has her car at your house. So she doesn't need yours"
Shit, did I really forget that? I sigh, leaning my head against his shoulder.
"You need to relax right now, Ma Chérie. You are trying to do way too much", he takes me to the couch and sits me down.
"You need to go slow, your body and mind need to rest. You can't pretend you're fine"
"Please don't tell me what to do. I can work and I can take care of my friend. I'm just worked up about that stupid interview", I put my head in my hands, but careful so I don't mess up my hair or makeup. Fabio shakes his head but stays quiet. We sit like this for a while before we need to go to the interview.
Maider comes and gets us and gives me some pointers about how to answer, what I can't say, how to avoid questions. It only makes me more nervous.
The interview starts and the lady speaks Dutch. She starts with everything she knows about me. About where we lived, the fact that my parents travelled a lot, about college and work in Nice and now working in MotoGP. I nod along, trying to keep smiling.
Then the questions start, how did I get a job in MotoGP, how did Fabio and I meet. I translate a few things so Fabio isn't so left out.
During this entire interview we are standing in front of a high table. I feel myself getting dizzy more and more.
Eventually the questions shift to Fabio, they shift to English. They ask how he's doing, what he likes about the track, how we are doing, how it's like to date a Dutch girl. I think that last question is a strange one, but Fabio says something about how sweet and caring I am. My ears start to ring and I don't really follow it. Fabio probably notices because he squeezes my hand real hard.
"... why were you in the hospital these last few weeks", wait, what?
"I think we are entitled to some privacy and don't have to share those details with you", Fabio answers, he's angry. From the corner of my eyes I see Tom with an angry expression as well.
The journalist looks at me for some explanation.
"No, it's okay", I say to Fabio, like it's a completely normal question. He looks surprised. He knows how bad I want to keep it a secret.
"I'm experiencing some dizziness issues and they are trying to find the cause. It's nothing serious though", I smile like it's nothing. "I have a few more appointments and I want to ask you to give me my privacy. This is all there is to say, right now"
I start to have double vision. Seeing more journalists instead of one and I grip Fabio's hand really tight. I'm glad they can't see it behind the table.
"I'm sorry to cut this short, but I have another interview and I can't be late", Fabio says, smiling his breathtaking smile.
"Thank you for coming and good luck this weekend"
"It was our pleasure", I say to her, before we walk away.
Fabio pulls me against him, as soon as we're out of sight. Tom and Maider walk up to us.
"What's wrong, Ma Chérie?", Fabio whispers in my ear.
"I need to sit"
We are right in front of the Ducati hospitality and Fabio doesn't hesitate. He picks me up bridalstyle and walks in, sitting me down on a chair, while kneeling in front of me.
I hear someone saying something about not being allowed in here. And someone saying it's all good. Pecco? Luca? I can't tell. My eyes are on Fabio in front of me. Well I see three Fabio's, so I don't know if I'm looking at the right one. I feel my heart beating really hard in my chest.
"Fabio, what's going on?", I hear another voice. Also Italian, I think.
"I don't know, Vale. She gets dizzy a lot, but not like this", Vale? I thought he wasn't coming in this weekend.
"Hey Julie, Ma Chérie, open your eyes, look at me"
I'm really tired, I can't keep them open. I feel someone caressing my cheek.
"Tom, call her doctor", I hear Fabio's voice again, but it's much softer. It's full of concern though. Why? I just need some sleep.
"Sleep", I mumble, opening my eyes briefly. Fabio has tears in his eyes.
"Chérie, you can't sleep right now. Please stay with us"
"Julie, keep your eyes on Fabio", I hear a voice. I don't know who is talking to me.
I try to look at Fabio, but my eyes get heavy. He is so beautiful, I don't want to loose him, he's my love.
"I love you", I whisper before everything goes black.