Hello everyone,
Quick warning, in the end is some sexual content. The rest is just heartbreaking. I've really cried my eyes out, while writing this.
Enjoy, xx
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Julie's POV
I wake up early the next morning. I can't remember going to bed to be honest. I remember cuddling with Fabio on the couch and that's it.
Fabio is still fast asleep, his head on my shoulder, his arm across my belly and his leg across mine.
I search for my phone on the nightstand and see it's only five in the morning. I unlock my phone and see notifications everywhere. I start with my WhatsApp and see a lot of texts.
*Julie, I hope you're doing okay, you scared us. Please let me know how you're doing. Pecco*
*Fabio told me you had surgery, I hope you wake up soon. We are thinking of you. Pecco*
*I don't know if you have your phone or not. I just want to let you know, I'm thinking of you. Fabio is keeping me updated. But if you can, please send me a message. Pecco*
*Ciao Julie, I don't know if you remember, but Pecco, Vale and I were there when you went to the hospital. We know what's going on and Fabio has giving us updates. We hope you are okay and getting better soon. Vale sends you his best. Let us know if we can do anything. You are part of our family. xx Luca*
*hey beauty, I heard you're back out of the hospital. Hope you are okay. If you need to talk, Sarah and I are here for you. And let Fabio call me. I know how he's feeling, he needs to talk as well. If he's not calling, I'm coming there. Hugs, Jake*
*honey! You could've told me, you were sick. We tell each other everything. I hope to see you soon, I'm looking after your home. Call me so we can talk. xM*
*hey, Michele says you're sick. What's going on? Matteo*
*I'm in Madrid. Really need to talk to you. Call me. Matteo*
*Juul, I know you won't read this right now. They just picked you up with the ambulance. Fabio went with you. I'm really scared. I'm taking the car and coming to the hospital too. Please hold on. Don't leave us*
*it's Friday now. I'm driving Fabio back to the circuit. He wouldn't leave the hospital. You've been in surgery and they say everything went well. You are not waking up, but they say you will today. Fabio hasn't slept and is going to call your parents. I wanted to call them, I atleast know them a little, but he doesn't let me. He's feeling very responsible. Did you know the cancer was this bad? Did you know about the tumor in your brain? I hope you didn't. I trust that you would've told us. See you tonight!*
*Fabio is doing okay. It was raining very hard this morning and he got 17th in FP1. He was careful. He called your dad afterwards and told him. I've never seen him like this. He's protective and careful. But he's scared. He's crying when I'm not with him. And trying to hide it. It's almost time for FP2*
*it was a dry session. Fabio got in 3rd. He's not there. In his mind he's with you. And that scares me. I've called the hospital and Yara, your nurse told me you had slipped in a coma. I didn't tell Fabio yet. But he knows there's something. He can see it. I miss you. Please wake up, little sis*
*it's Friday evening and Fabio and I just played a game of foot volley. We came by earlier this afternoon. We talked to you, we hope you heard us. I took Fabio back to the circuit so he can get a night rest. I hope he will sleep tonight. Your parents came and are staying with you now. He wanted to go to your house, sleep in your bed. But I think it's best if he stays here. At Yamaha they know you are in the hospital. Maider knows why. But they are not easy on Fabio for leaving so much. His dad is coming here tomorrow. I hope you will wake up soon. Math says Hi. I can't handle losing you*
*it's the middle of the night and I'm sending you a message. Again. They are saying you are in the hospital because of a pregnancy and possible miscarriage. It makes me so angry. They don't know how sick you are, what heavy surgery you just had. Fabio is fast asleep. He doesn't know yet. The interview is going viral as well. And the part you say about why you were in the hospital. But also a lot of videos been shared around with Fabio telling the interviewer, how sweet and caring you are, how you push him to do better and how you always tell him how proud you are of him. It's so cute. I hope you get to see those*
I close my WhatsApp and open Instagram. I go to one of the fan accounts and see a lot of things. Things I don't want to see, pictures of me. But I keep searching for that video. And I find it.
"Fabio how is it to date a Dutch girl?"
"Well I don't know if Julie is a typical Dutch girl, she lived in France for quite some time as you know. But she is very sweet and caring and I'm really glad to have her. She's one of my coaches too and she pushes me to be better every time. At the same time she's very proud of me and keeps telling me that over and over. I couldn't wish for a better girlfriend"
The caption beneath it says, 'imagine him talking like that about you'. I already had tears falling down, but they keep coming now.
I can't remember him saying this. I want to have this video.
I open WhatsApp again and keep reading.
*FP3 was good. Fabio got 2nd. But maybe you know this. We told you in the hospital. We just came back. They say you are stable and you can wake up any time now. I just hope you do. Fabio thinks you are waking up soon. He felt you squeeze his hand. Yara told me that could just as good be a reflex, but I didn't tell him. It gave him hope and he needs it. He's going in FP4 and Q2 soon. He's just resting a bit. I hope he doesn't read everything they are saying about you*
*Fabio topped FP4 and got 2nd in Q2. He's happy. Atleast he's acting happy. Jake got pole in Moto2 and they are in a press conference together now. Jake is keeping an eye on him. I just need a few minutes of rest. I know I haven't really talked about myself in all these messages. But I feel like I'm walking on eggshells, like if something else happens I break. But haven't shown that to Fabio. He doesn't need to worry about his friend too. You are my sister and you need to come back*
*we slept in the hospital last night. It's race day and your dad is driving us to the track. Fabio isn't in the best headspace. He's less alert. I think your dad and him had a talk. When I woke up, they both were gone and came back in together. I hope he will be okay when the race starts. I hope you wake up soon*
*Fabio was 2nd in WUP. And just after your dad told us you are awake. I'm so happy. You don't know how much this means to me, to us. Fabio is crying and I am too. We hope you will be okay soon*
*Fabio just told me you called him. That's amazing. Such a great news. I think he needed that for the race. He seems much calmer now. We send Jake and Sarah to you, so you'd have some company. Plus maybe it helps to talk about things with Sarah. And if you read this, please send a message back*
*Fabio crashed.. he crashed twice and I don't know how to feel about this. He isn't hurt, luckily. But he never crashes. Maybe it's all too much for him. I'm sure it's all too much for him, but I don't know how to fix that*
*he got a penalty. How could they do this? It's so not fair. Like he hasn't had enough on his plate. We are coming to the hospital later. When we are both a little calmed down*
*lil sis! I'm glad you are getting better. For someone who just had brain surgery, you look good. Please go easy on Fabio. He really had it rough*
*this is the last message for now. I hope you read these. Or maybe it's better if you don't. I can't decide yet. I'm going to Nice with Math. I hope you'll be okay and go to Andorra soon. You two deserve a few days (or weeks) without anything crazy to enjoy and get better. I ask Fabio for updates. But if you read this, call or text me. Love you*
*okay, that wasn't the last message. It's Monday now. Monday night and I know you are alone in the hospital. Well your parents must be there, I hope. I hope you are okay. See you soon*
*Fabio keeps forgetting to update me and I want to know that you're okay. I can't sleep well. Mathilde and I got in a fight yesterday. I know it's my fault, but I just feel empty and scared and she doesn't understand*
The last message was from this night. Tears keep streaming down.
I also see messages from Fabio.
*Ma Chérie.. please wake up. I need you*
*the surgery went okay, but why aren't you waking up? Please don't give up*
*you said, you love me. If you love me, please don't leave me*
*I told your parents about us. Your dad isn't happy. He doesn't want us together. Maybe he's right*
*my dad is here. He knows about you. He wishes you well. He says he can see it's true love. He hopes he can meet you*
*I wanted to win this race for you. But I'm not good enough. I'm sorry for letting you down*
These messages are the worst. I don't know if I wanted to read them. He went through hell and back, these last few days.
"Hey, what's wrong?", I hear Fabio's morning voice. "What're you reading?"
"Hey! You slept well?", He sits up a little, nodding. "I did. But why are you crying? What are you reading?"
"Just my WhatsApp messages. You could've told me how bad it was", I whisper.
"I told you, you shouldn't be reading everything. They didn't find your phone number did they?", He asks concerned. I shake my head.
"No, I mean how bad the last week was for you", I put my head on his chest this time, curling up against him. "I've read my WhatsApp messages. And they are really sweet, but yours and Tom are full of concern, sadness, fear"
"You've read my messages? I hoped you wouldn't read those", he says softly. "Tom send you messages too?"
"Yeah, a lot of messages. I really need to call him today. He's worried sick. And got in a fight with Mathilde", I say, handing him my phone.
He's quiet for a while, while I relax a bit on his bare chest. I trace with my finger over his tattoos on his arm.
"He didn't share this with me. I can't believe he couldn't talk to me about his feelings. He didn't think I could handle it", his voice is strained.
"I may be like a sister to him, but you are much more important to him than that. He was really afraid you couldn't concentrate on the bike. And that would mean suicide"
"That's not true. He's very protective over you. He even told me I need to take care of you and he would hurt me if anything happens between us"
"Maybe. But just read those messages. It's all about trying to take care of you. About how you are doing, feeling. I'm just saying you really have the best friend. He would walk through fire for you. It's really great to see that kind of bond between you. He may not say it, but you are very important to him"
Fabio's quiet, he knows I'm right.
"Just remind me to call him. And Matteo and Pecco and my parents and maybe Luca and Margaux. Oh and you need to call Jake, or he will come here", I sum up.
Fabio laughs his beautiful laugh, "you should make a list"
He puts my phone down, "did you see anything else?", He asks slowly, carefully.
"I went to Insta to watch a small video of our interview. I tried to ignore everything else, but I saw I'm pretty popular on fan accounts about you. And I saw lots of notifications. But I didn't click on anything. Not yet", I close my eyes, getting tired again.
"Why did you search for the interview?", He kisses my head and pulls me closer, on top of him.
"In one of his messages Tom mentions a video with a part of the interview where you talk about me. It's cute and I wanted to see"
"You don't remember the interview?", Fabio asks a little surprised.
"I remember the beginning. After a short while I got very dizzy and had a ringing in my ear and couldn't focus. So I never really heard you say those things"
"What do you remember about after the interview?", Fabio's voice has a certain concern in it.
I shrug a little, "I don't know much. I heard voices, but only saw you. Well three of you. But I think Pecco was there, Luca and Valentino? And Tom and Maider I assume"
"Yeah. I've never been that scared in my life. Your eyes kept rolling inside your head and I told Tom to call your doctor but he didn't answer, so we called 112. And you mumbled something about sleep and told me you loved me before you fainted in my arms. I put you on the ground and Pecco was beside you in seconds, afraid of a seizure, so he kept blowing and shaking you. He really helped. There I blurted out you had cancer. I know I shouldn't have done that"
"You did everything right. I'm kind of glad a few people know. Now it's not all on your shoulders", I wipe away a few tears on Fabio's face and push my lips on his. It's a messy kiss, but full of passion.
I turn and pull him on top of me. Fabio breaks the kiss suddenly, "Chérie.. I don't wa-"
"I don't care, I want this", I pull his mouth back down to me. The kissing is heated and our hands feel up and down each others body. Fabio's hand rubs over my panties in all the right places. I don't stop him. I only open my legs wider, to give him more access. I'm still wearing his shirt, but it's shoved up to my chin, leaving my breasts and belly bare.
All Fabio does feels so amazing. I stop his hand after a while and he looks up a little surprised. I've been a moaning mess and he doesn't understand.
"Fabio.. take it off", I whisper softly. Almost inaudible, but he hears me. He looks in my eyes a little longer, before pulling off my panties and tossing it away.
His hands goes up my inner tight slowly and it's almost too slow. I want him back there. His hand finds the right spot and I close my eyes, moaning in pleasure.
"Chérie, keep your eyes on me", he says softly before continuing the rubbing with his fingers. We look in each others eyes, without looking away. It's making it much more intimate and special.
His hand goes further between my folds and he suddenly puts one finger inside. I gasp at the sudden move, it takes a few pumps before it feels good, real good. His thumb rubs my clit and his finger moves in and out, before he uses two fingers. I need to adjust a little before it feels really good. My legs start to shake and I don't know what to do. I feel like I should do something. I pull a hand through his hair and pull him down to kiss me. "Let go, Chérie. Just let go", he whispers against my lips after the kiss and it sends me over the edge. My legs shake uncontrollable and I close my eyes, moaning his name softly.
He slowly stops his movements and pecks my lips.
My legs stop shaking and I slowly open my eyes. "That was..", I can't even finish my sentence.
"Good?", Fabio asks. He seems a little uncertain.
"Better than good. Amazing", he grins at my words.
"You are so beautiful"