"Ma Chérie, wake up", I hear Fabio's voice close to my ear.
I slowly open my eyes, to see him sitting next to me. He's all sweaty and looks a little tired.
"I'm gonna take a shower and start dinner. Martin will be here soon", he says, kissing my cheek. He stands and waits for me to sit up.
I do and immediately feel dizzy. I don't remember having lunch.
"I don't think I ate any lunch", I grab my head, closing my eyes. I stand up but sway a little and Fabio keeps me steady. "Come, I'll take you up", he softly says, before lifting me bridalstyle. I lay my head on his chest, closing my eyes.
He stops and I think we are in the kitchen. "Chérie, take a banana", I open my eyes and see two laying on the counter, taking them both with us.
Fabio takes me upstairs and sets me down on the bed. I silently eat one of the bananas and watch Fabio undress. I can watch that any time. He's standing there completely naked, before giving me a kiss on my head. "You don't wanna join?", his voice barely above a whisper.
"Tempting, but no", I smile before he walks into the shower.
He's quick, coming back out a few minutes later. I was just putting lotion on my body before changing in more suitable clothing.
"Can I help?", Fabio walks back in, in only a clean pair of boxers.
"Yeah, if you want", he nods, taking the bottle. "Would you put something on my back?"
I lay down in the bed, Fabio opens the back of my bikini top and carefully puts my hair to the side. He massages my back and it's the best feeling ever. I've had massages before and we needed to practise them during our education, but I never felt comfortable. It was always tense and awkward.
"You know, if you ever want to switch your career.. choose physical therapy", I sigh content. He can do this every day. It's so relaxing.
"Could you handle it if I did? If I was around half naked woman all day, touching them?", He asks surprised. And it makes me think that he's not saying that out of nowhere.
"Is this talking from own experience?", I slowly sit up, holding my bikini in front of my breasts.
Fabio shrugs, turning around to put on some clothes.
I change in some lingerie and face him again. "Fabio?"
His back is towards me and he doesn't answer me.
"Schatje?", I try in Dutch. He turns around at that.
"What?", He asks confused.
"It's a word like 'sweetheart', 'babe', 'love' in Dutch", I try to explain, blushing a little.
He nods, turning back around.
"But can you please just answer me?", I try again.
"It was just a joke. Forget about it Julie", he is fully clothed now. "I'll start with dinner", he smiles, before walking out. He didn't just say that as a joke. He meant something with it. Doesn't he like my work? Or maybe he simply doesn't want me working in the paddock, with riders. I don't really know, but I know it's something.
I change in some comfy clothes and want to walk downstairs, but get interrupted by the ringing of my phone.
"Hello?", I didn't recognise the number.
"Ciao Julie, it's Matteo. How're you?"
"I'm perfectly fine. How about you? How's Madrid?", I am surprised he's calling me and with another number.
"It's good. I or we were hoping you would come here a few days to work out a plan for Marc", he tells me, straight to the point. "Marc has another checkup in two weeks and if all is well, he can throw away the sling and start physical therapy. He asked me to be his personal physical therapist, but I need some extra eyes and extra knowledge"
His personal physical therapist? Why Matteo? Would he have feelings too?
"Can you talk freely?", I ask curiously.
"Not really, but you're not on speaker either", he says quietly.
"Did you tell him?", I ask softly.
"Yeah. I'm having fun, a real holiday", I can hear him smile. Marc must be close.
"Yeah? Did you kiss? Or shared more kisses?", I grin. I should be so happy if that would work out.
"Yes, a lot of sun here. It really is very good"
"Okay, I won't ask any difficult questions, but I am very happy for you. I will see what the best time is to come there for a few days. I'll let you know", I say, not wanting to make it too difficult for him.
We say our goodbyes and I end the call, I walk downstairs to see Jorge and Yara in the kitchen together and Fabio in the backyard.
"Jorge! Hey!", I say a little surprised. I didn't hear him come inside.
"Julie! Good to see you"
"Fabio is out back, we will let you know when dinner is ready", Yara tells me.
They look really cute together. I walk towards the backyard as well and see Fabio laying down where I was laying earlier, eyes closed.
"Hey", I softly say before sitting down on the ground next to him.
"Hi", Fabio sighs, his eyes still closed.
We stay like this in silence for a while. Fabio's eyes closed, my eyes on my feet.
"You know you can talk to me as well, right?", I say eventually. I don't look up and I don't know if he even really heard me, my voice soft.
"About?"
"Anything", I don't want to push him, but I want to know what's bothering him.
"There's nothing. I'm just tired", he dismisses me. And I keep it at that.
"Oh. I know you vaguely told me your plans for the next few weeks, but are those your plans or do you want me to join you in any of them?", I ask this carefully. I don't know what he wants. He told Tom I'd probably be on the boat, but we didn't talk about it. And maybe it was just so Tom would stop worrying. I don't know if he wants me with him and his family or me crashing his plans with his friends. I don't even know if I want to come with him, he's practically going all over Europe. And I don't know if I can. I eventually have a checkup and I don't even know what happens then.
"I don't know, why?", He asks slowly.
"Well I need to go to Madrid for a few days. That's somewhere in the next two weeks. So I want to know your plans for me"
He opens his eyes for the first time since I'm outside.
"Tom wants you to join us on the boat", he says it like he doesn't want it, only Tom wants it. That feels like a punch in the face, but I try to ignore it.
"Okay..", I nod slowly.
"And after I have the dolce&gabbana thing. Clarisse set it up and that's for me only. So maybe you can go then"
"Okay then I'll arrange a plane ticket for next Friday, if that's okay for you", I tell him. Trying to ignore the Clarisse thing as well. I can't really handle the fact that she's still such a big influence on Fabio's life and also mine indirectly.
He nods.
"I'll call my parents and brother later to ask if they are okay with you joining us. I don't know if Anthony and Marion will be okay with you being around Louane and Luca", Fabio sits up, sighing.
"You don't have to. I can just stay here or go to my own house, if you want that. It's up to you"
Yara then opens the door and tells us dinner's ready. Fabio gets up and walks in, I follow behind without another word.
Dinner is delicious and we have a good time. Jorge and Yara flirt a little, which I think is super sweet. Fabio isn't really talkative, but he's sweet and he's trying. Although I can see something is bothering him.
The evening went by fast, we sat outside for a while and Fabio and I went to bed early. In bed, Fabio pulled me close, kissed the top of my head and fell fast asleep.
I couldn't really sleep and after laying in his arms for a long time, I carefully got out and pulled on a robe, walking downstairs.
I sit outside for a long time, just staring in the dark. I find my cigarettes near the backdoor and smoke one, it relaxes me a bit. And after a while I go back to our bedroom. It's already three in the morning when I step inside. I brush my teeth another time and carefully lay back down. Fabio sleeps through all of this and I turn on my side, facing away from him. I stay awake. Not tired enough to sleep, too much on my mind. Things I need to do, to figure out. I keep thinking about what's bothering Fabio, I can't figure it out. And I'm very nervous about going on a boat trip with Fabio's family. Well if they even want me with them.
Eventually it's morning and Fabio's alarm goes off. He stirs awake and wraps his arms around me groaning.
"Good morning, Ma Chérie", he whispers. He sounds in a better mood than last night.
"Good morning", my voice is hoarse and I feel like I've been hit by a truck. I didn't sleep one second.
I turn around and lay my head on his chest.
"Did you sleep good?", I ask quietly.
"Yeah, slept like a baby. You?", I hear him smile as he kisses my hair.
"Yeah, fine. Do you have anything planned for today?", I ask trying to avoid talking about this night.
"I wanted to do a work out this morning. And other than watching the F1 quali I don't have any plans", he tells me. "You?"
"Nothing special"
I turn and sit up before walking to the bathroom to brush my teeth and pull my hair in a ponytail. Fabio's still in bed when I walk back out.
"You don't want to stay in bed a little longer? It's only seven", Fabio knows I'm not really a morning person.
I shake my head, "No, I wanted to go for a walk. My body is a little sore and I need to get better again", I put on some sports leggings and a large shirt and grab my earphones.
"You want me to join? Or I could give you another massage?", He sits up now as well.
"No, you go do your workout. I'll manage", I smile softly, pulling a hand through his messy hair.
Fabio nods and I walk out.
I stay out for a few hours, walking and occasionally sitting down, looking at the beautiful view or smoking a cigarette.
When I get back in, Fabio worriedly stands by the front door.
"Are you okay? You were gone for so long", he rushes out.
"Yeah I'm fine. Don't worry", I smile, walking past him to the living room, sitting down on the couch.
"You could've texted. It's past ten already", Fabio sits down next to me.
"I just lost track of time. I walked a bit and sat down a few times. It was relaxing", I feel the stress coming back up. Maybe I should've stayed out all day. Away from any stress.
We sit in silence for a few minutes, before Fabio speaks up again.
"Maman and papa want to meet you. And Anthony is fine with you joining us. Only Marion is a little reserved. She's a little protective when it comes to Louane and Luca", he says. It makes me more nervous to hear.
I nod, "what about you?", I ask looking down. He hasn't told me he wants me to join.
"What about me?", He asks confused.
"Do you want me to join?", I look up, into his eyes. My hands fiddle with the hem of my shirt.
"I'm fine with it", he says. Fine doesn't sound like he wants me there. I pretend I didn't hear the little hesitation.
I nod, "I'm gonna change and call my doctor. I want to know if I need to come back there for a checkup"