It's raceweekend! I've been here in Austria since Wednesday, Fabio since Thursday. We've seen each other in the evening. And during our meeting, although we already watched the races and during checkups and treatments.
He's riding on his limit and it reflects in his muscles. Yeah he became stronger and lost a few extra pounds and stuff but his body is taking quite a toll. He's frustrated about his P5 on the grid, but knows it was the max. He's also frustrated about the sprint race news. About every single reporter asking him about it, but also about the fact that they weren't involved.
I don't know what to think about the sprint races. I think it's a lot, every weekend. I think the riders need to be in a even better condition and need to recover quicker.
But the concept about a half race, where you don't have to worry about tyre management or your own limitations as rider, could be nice and refreshing.
When I review the current MotoGP riders, I think there are a few who could handle weekends like that physically, but not all. And looking at Fabio now, he's in shape to handle it. But with the effort he's giving now, he won't be able to handle that a whole season without risking an injury.
"Thank you, I really needed this", Fabio says, getting up from the treatment table. The past hour I've been working on all his tense muscles. His arms, his legs, his neck and his back. I wouldn't do this for any other rider, but you have to help out your boyfriend if you can, right?
Boyfriend.. I still can't really believe it. I mean I know we've been like this before, but now.. with how good I'm feeling, I feel so happy.
I stretch a little, rubbing my shoulders and fingers. An hour is actually way too long..
"You okay? Or do you need a massage now too?", Fabio asks, grinning a little.
"I'm perfect", I kiss his cheek, smiling. "So what are you up to now?"
"Maybe a few hours of cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend? Or do you still have to work?", He asks hopefully.
I smile, that sounds like just what I need after this horrendous day of meetings and treatments. All of Fabio's friends requested me for their treatments.. Riccardo, Tony, Jake, even Sasaki asked for a checkup.
"I just need to debrief with Dr Zasa and have a quick chat with Matteo. Then I'm all done for today", I smile at him. "I will see you there in 10 minutes tops, okay?"
"I'll wait here. Go do your thing", he kisses me on the cheek, sitting at my desk.
I walk to Dr Zasa and tell him how today went. He had a small talk with all the team bosses about next year and a few of the came to me with questions. I know Lin was a bit upset. He was hoping it would still be exclusive for a few teams, but we can't really do that another year, we work for Dorna, not for a team.
After that I went looking for Matteo, but couldn't find him anywhere. But when I walk back to my room I find him talking to Fabio.
"Oh hey, I was actually just looking for you", I tell Matteo, sitting down on the treatment table.
"Oh? Why?", Matteo looks surprised but I'm sure he knows why.
"I'm not doing that meeting tomorrow", I bluntly tell him. He set me up with a strategy meeting tomorrow during the Moto3 race with Honda.
"Why not? They wanted you"
"Yeah probably because you said it's best. I'm not doing a last minute strategy meeting with a team who may be lucky when both riders score in the points", I try to explain.
"That's exactly why they need a strategy meeting", Matteo is quite stubborn. But I'm sure this is Marc's idea and he won't let him down.
"No. They need a better bike and better riders", I sigh, letting myself fall back on the treatment table, laying down. "I know you probably promised, but he's not here and I'm not doing this. Especially not during the race. I'm just gonna watch it somewhere"
"You would do it for Fabio..", Matteo dares to say. I sit back up, looking a little surprised and even Fabio looks up from his phone at the mentioning of his name.
"Yeah, I would. And I would do it for Pecco. Because they are fighting for the championship. They need a strategy meeting. But still, not during the Moto3 race", I say holding my ground.
I stand and walk towards the door, "you know this is ridiculous. You're only doing this because you promised. I'm going to watch the races tomorrow", I tell him one last time. I nod my head to Fabio and we walk out together.
"Sorry, you shouldn't have heard that", I sigh when we walk to his motorhome.
"It's fine. I'm just wondering why you need to join a strategy meeting? Don't they have experts?", He wonders.
"I think they're just desperate. I don't know what I would contribute. It's not like I know anything about tyre choices or fuel or whatever", we arrive at his motorhome and I see Tom sitting outside. I haven't seen him since that one time on the beach in Nice. Every time I was in Fabio's motorhome these past days, he was out.
"Hey man, where have you been?", Tom asks Fabio. Not really paying attention to me. I walk inside instead, getting a glass of water. It hurts a little that we can't even make small talk anymore. Or a simple hello. But it's my fault, so I can't complain. It only makes this relationship with Fabio harder, unfortunately. I really wish it wouldn't..
I sit at the table with my glass, just checking the messages on my phone, when Fabio walks in.
"Hey, you joining us outside?", he asks getting a glass himself.
"I think it's better if I go back to the clinica mobile motorhome", I tell him. I don't want to make things uncomfortable for any of us.
"I thought we would spend a few hours together?", Fabio looks a bit confused by my sudden change.
"Yeah.. but I didn't know Tom would be here", I say, looking down. "I know it's his motorhome too, but I thought he wouldn't be here, like the other times this week"
Fabio sits down opposite from me, "but you have to see each other eventually. How did you want to watch the races tomorrow then?"
I shrug, "I think I'll be somewhere in the grandstand watching, or alongside the track.."
"So you didn't plan on watching the Moto3 and Moto2 with me? I thought we could watch it all together like Sachsenring", he sounds a little disappointed.
"I um.. I didn't know you wanted that", I look up a little surprised. I thought he wanted to watch with just Tom. "But I don't want to force myself on Tom. I mean I talked to him on the beach and I think I made it pretty clear that it's up to him. Well he clearly doesn't want to talk right now, so I think I need to respect that"
"Maybe.. but you are both important to me. And I want to spend time with both of you. What if I get on the podium tomorrow? You won't come to Parc Fermé because Tom will be there?", He sounds so disappointed, it breaks my heart.
I nod slowly, "I know you'd hate that, but I think that's best. I need to give him some time and space"
I lay my head in my hands, I was pretty happy the last few days. Everything went pretty well. This just causes stress, but mostly for Fabio. And he doesn't deserve to stand in the middle.
"You know.. I want you to take care of yourself and put yourself first. But this is putting Tom first. And I want you to watch the races in the pitbox if you want, or be at Parc Fermé if you want", Fabio sighs.
I nod, "I'll be there..". I want to say more, but the ringing of my phone interrupts me.
"I'll be outside in a bit", I say, before answering.
"Hello?", I answer, while seeing Fabio nodding and walking back outside.
"Julie, it's Dr Zasa. I know we just saw each other.. but I just had a quick talk with Matteo and Alberto Puig"
Shit.. they complained about me..
"Well, I can guess what that was about..", I pull my hand through my hair.
"Yes. Well, you can't really say no. They are kind of desperate and want you to join. They already arranged everything with Matteo, they even signed a contract for this, stating things like payment, confidentiality etcetera", he tries to explain.
"Well it's just, it's a shit time. I'm not even working tomorrow. And what do they need me for, for a strategy meeting? Strategy is about tyres, fuel, positioning. Things I know nothing about.", I'm a little frustrated. If they are desperate, they could consider atleast the time of this shit meeting.
"Well.. they call it a strategy meeting. But it's not involving the riders. It's more about strategy for next year and what rider they need to pick and why. Plus Marc will be joining through facetime too. It's the strategy for how to make Honda competitive again. But please, no one knows this", Dr Zasa explains. Well, I don't know why I would be the one to join in on that. But I guess I really don't have a choice.
"Okay, fine. But.. we both know why we are suddenly important to Honda and that has nothing to do with our good work. And I'm not doing something like this again", I tell him a little angry. Angry with Matteo for putting me in this position.
"What are you saying?", Dr Zasa asks a little confused.
"Well I'm sure Matteo told you about his relationship with Marc. And the only reason I need to be there is because Marc wants it. Because of Matteo. The Honda riders don't even come in to the clinica mobile for normal checkups or treatment. They have their own therapist", I stand and take another glass of water. It's silent on the other side of the phone. Or this is new info or he doesn't know what to say without confirming it.
"Look I'll go, it's fine. Goodnight", I say before ending the call and going outside.
Fabio and Tom are outside talking, but Fabio stops as soon as he sees me. I probably don't look too happy.
"That was a long phone call", Fabio states.
I sigh, sitting down in a chair. Tom is on the couch and Fabio is in another chair. So much for cuddling..
"Yeah, well.. I need to do that meeting tomorrow. So I won't be joining you", I try to make myself comfortable.
"That's shit. Why?", Fabio looks a bit confused.
I shrug, "it's confidential", I really can't get comfortable. That meeting getting on my nerve. I stand again, "I should probably prepare and watch some footage of the riders. So I'll go.."
I hear a sigh of relief coming from the couch.
Fabio stands as well, walking over to me. "Are you sure, you can't do that here and stay the night after?", He asks with a little smile on his lips.
"Tempting.. but no. It's gonna take me a while. I need to watch multiple races of multiple riders. So I'm going to the clinica mobile. It's empty now anyways. I think it's gonna be night work, this time", I give him a small smile and a hug. "Have a good night and a good race tomorrow. I hope you'll win"
"We'll see each other tomorrow right? We can watch the Moto2 together atleast?", Fabio asks softly, holding me a little longer.
"I think it will be a long meeting so I don't know. If I can, I'll come to the pitbox, but I don't think I'll make it. Sorry, I really wanted to watch the races but yeah..", I peck him on the lips before walking off to the clinica mobile again. The place we just left about half an hour ago.