How Am I Suppose To Handle You Being So Far Away?

Chapter 1

Sam

I fiddle with my fingers and shift several times. Nathalie glances at me and squeeze my hand for support. "I don't think I can do this." I stand. Everyone at the table look at me curiously and people around the restaurant look at me oddly. Nathalie hand is still connected to mine. She gradually stands with me ignoring the prying eyes.

"Hey." She whispers. "It's going to be fine. This is the easy part..." She mutters. She gives me the best encouraging smile and I know deep down she's breaking inside also. I knew Nathalie like Nicolaus Copernicus knew the stars that would navigate him back home.

Nathalie loved unconditionally and the way her lip twitched in the corner and how she would twist her ring on her finger every now and then meant she was nervous. I knew this the same way her eyes would sparkle when she saw something beautiful, how she would twirl her hair when she was embarrassed, and how she would chew her lip when she had something important to say.

I knew she was making the biggest sacrifice of her life. She's always sacrificing for me. No matter what. "I love you." I tell her. She gives me a smile and I continue to rant. "I do." I push. "I really do."

"They are perfect." The lady at the table smile. She is speaking to her husband. I swallow and slowly take a seat.

"Sorry." I mutter. "Nerves."

Nathalie gives me one more encouraging squeeze and the woman sitting across from me say, "Alright. Now. Tell me why we should give you the job." I smile and begin to speak about my passion towards architecture and how I would be a promising member to the team. I use Nathalie compassion to win them over but speak with confidence like Miranda.

Confidence would ooze out her like a Queen. The way she would hold your gaze and keep your attention as she earn your respect. She always would give me a lesson or two in the bedroom while we're laying around being lazy. She's either typing away on her computer or reading a novel. I'm usually designing on my laptop or watching the top shows. "Jeez can someone take the throne already." She would mutter and I would huff in aggravation at how it's not that easy. Then, she would take off her glasses and ponder on the thought while staring at the television before saying, "I would have taken the throne by now. Change the hideous thing, nonetheless it will all be mine." I would groan and she would lift up and kiss me sweetly. "Just as you are." She would whisper against my lips. "Mine."

Miranda. I think.

"Sorry." I clear my throat snapping out of my memory. I begin to move and I grab my laptop before putting it on the table. I slide it around and show my personal portfolio of my designs and projects. The both of them nod impress. I smile and after dessert the wife says, "I think you're the perfect person for the job."

Nathalie pulls me into a hug excited and I hug her back. The wife claps in happiness, "Just too cute. Ah. Young love." She bends over and kisses her husband on the lips softly. I finally open my eyes and as I look behind Nathalie shoulder I could see the Queen herself. I say her name without hearing myself. But, Nathalie pulls back in concern and look at me.

Walking upon the table is Miranda Grayson herself. She is wearing a red graceful dress that stuck to her skin like glue. Her hair was in deep curls that stopped at her shoulders. It was longer now. She had a expensive diamond bracelet on her wrist and a simple diamond necklace around her neck. She approaches the table and my heart beats against my chest.

She has everyone else attention in the restaurant and I'm almost upset at their lingering stare but this was Miranda Grayson, the woman who steals the eyes of everyone in the room.

The woman speaks. "Miranda Grayson. What a lovely surprise. What business do you have out here in Las Vegas?"

"I'm in town. Work. You understand." Miranda speaks with elegance and power. "Nathalie notified me that she would be having dinner with you. It would have been rude to not come and speak."

That was a lie.

The lady laughs and invite Miranda to sit. I try to avoid eye contact with her because I knew under all that professional demeanor she is raging in anger inside. When the check come I am finally able to breathe again. I thank the older lady and the husband and they soon depart leaving the three of us.

I grab the champagne off the table and gulp it.

"Mother." Nathalie speaks first.

"Don't." Miranda hisses. "This is between Sam and I."

Nathalie look at me like she wants to protect me but I had to do this alone.

"Let's go talk." I say.

Miranda stands and damn she looked beautiful. Of course she had to be dramatic and dress up for he surprising pop up. We walk up towards the balcony and take a seat on the couch. We were alone up here and I'm disappointed that no one was around. I couldn't face her.

"Look at me." She whispers.

I do as she say and look at her. Her eyes is blazing in anger but when she speak I knew she was breaking inside.

"Why couldn't you tell me?" She ask her eyes flickering towards mine likes she hoping to find some type of answer there. "You're moving away..."

"I'm sorry." I say.

"Sorry is not going to cut it." Miranda explains. "How am I supposed to handle you being so far away? I need you here, Sam. I can give you any job you want but not across the world..." She then stand and pace. "No, no. That's selfish of me." She run her fingers through her hair. "I can move with you. I can make trips back and forth until you decide to come back and if you choose to stay then we'll stay. I'll just open a third international location there. We need to expand anyway..." She looks down at me and take a seat.

"Why aren't you saying anything?" She ask. "I forgive you for lying. I'm not mad. I just wish you could have come to me...

"I don't want you to come." I whisper.

"What?" Miranda ask.

"I was afraid to tell you because I'm scared of what comes next.."

Miranda covers her mouth and her eyes instantly waters at the realization of what I was saying.

"I thought we were fine." Miranda say. Tears is falling from her eyes and she's still beautiful. "I thought we were better."

"I thought so too." I whisper.

The both of us sit there in silence for a couple minutes and I move to squeeze Miranda hand but it's like something in her snaps. She stands abruptly and begins to scream, "Did she put you up to this? That's why you're breaking up with me?"

"I..."

"I'm not stupid Sam." Miranda growls. "I know a breakup when I hear it. Respect me enough to say it."

"She's has nothing to do with this." I frown shaking my head in confusion but Miranda isn't hearing it. She's furious and hurt and she needs someone to blame. "Tessa is not to blame, Miranda."

Miranda chuckles humorless and I frown even further, "Who do you think told me? She hates the fact that she lost and that conniving bitch wants this, Sam."

"This isn't about you or her." I scream in anger. "This is about what I want! Be happy for me like a normal person would."

"Normal?" Miranda repeats with a snarl.

I shake my head. "I didn't mean like that. I'm sorry...

"Normal?" She chuckles humorless. "If you wanted normal you wouldn't have chose me." She sneers. I take a step back in reflex. "You would have married Nathalie if you wanted normal, you would have never kissed me, fucked me, loved me, if you wanted normal, Sam." Miranda clenches her jaw and tears fall from her face. "But, you kept coming back every time. No matter how hard I tried to push you away. You always came back to me."

"I know." I whisper. "It's just I don't know what I want anymore. It's like I don't feel the same way." I run my hand over my face in frustration because the words are becoming jumbled. "I'm scared." I admit. "To make the wrong decision and regret it in the end."

"You're scared because I left you...

"No." I shake my head. "I forgave you...I do. I get it, now but...

"You don't love me anymore?" Miranda ask.

"I'll always love you Miranda."

Miranda pause and there is this glint in her eyes like a light bulb just went off. "It's not the same." She say to herself in shock after a few moments.

"What?" I ask in confusion.

Miranda run her fingers through her hair before grabbing the nearby napkin and wiping her ruined mascara underneath her eyes. She stand with elegance and fix her dress before grabbing her purse. "How long do I have?" She ask.

"What?" I repeat. I was lost at the change of events.

"How long do I have to make you fall in love with me again?" She ask her coffee brown eyes holding determination. I don't answer because I'm flabbergasted at her question.

She turns when she notice the state I'm in and head for the door. "Don't freak out, Miranda." She whispers out loud to herself. "I'll win her back."