Your Local Psychopath

Chapter 19

Sam

Today is a lazy day. Rain is pouring outside the open window. It brings freshness and it falls in gentle waves. I lean against the couch and flip through channels on the big television. A soft knock pulls me from my haze. I head toward the door with a smile but it is quickly replaced once I see nana standing there with a long bright blue rain jacket on her body.

"Can we talk?" She speaks slowly and curt. It is not a question but a polite request. I sigh and open the door wider. I had the condo to myself. Miranda and Nathalie left earlier to finalize things with the wedding. We head into the living room and I take a seat in my original spot and turn off the television.

"I may have overstepped the other night." Nana starts. "I do not wish to dictate your life. I'm not here to judge your sexuality. Times is different." I open my mouth to respond but she cuts me off. I frown. "However." She holds for a second as if she is trying to find the right words. "I do not understand why you are risking your family over someone like Miranda Grayson. She doesn't deserve your kindness or love, Sam."

I clench my jaw. "You don't even know her nana. What happened at mom house during Christmas was a shit show but we worked through it. We went to counseling. I just don't understand why you can't be happy for me."

At this moment my eyes are burning with tears. I didn't see my nana much because of where she chose to live but she was there for me and my mom when my dad decided to check out. She was my other parent.

"Mom is okay with it." I push further. "Uncle Matt too. I don't care about the others but I want your blessing too."

"Your mother is naive and Uncle Matt is an idiot." Nana replies while sitting elegantly on the couch. I roll my eyes. "You're a beautiful woman, Sam. Intelligent and driven. You are everything I wanted my daughter to be. Miranda Grayson will destroy you."

I narrow my eyes. She did not have the right to say that. She continues, "Your mother will rather see you sink and be happy than face reality. Life is too short, Sam. You have your whole life ahead of you. Now you're a step-mother of two. I see how attached you are to Piper. What will you do when Miranda decides to leave once again? Taking Piper along with her."

My heart clenched at the thought. I open my mouth to say 'Miranda wouldn't ever do that to me' but I stop myself. Nana stares at me as if she can read my mind. I look away annoyed and suddenly angry.

She didn't have the right to come here and say these things.

Nana approaches me and gives my shoulder a light squeeze. I look at her once again and a few tears fall down my cheek. She wipes them away and pulls me into a hug. "I love you so much." She tells me. "I just want the best for you."

I choose not to say anything more. Doubt is clouding my mind. Nana and I decided to catch a movie and get lunch. It's still a rainy day but it fits my mood perfectly. I pretend that I'm not bothered in the slightest but I am sad.

Angry.

I bid my grandma a farewell and she kisses my forehead and tells me she loves me again. I walk into the condo and power up the game. I turn the volume all the way up and get lost in shooting the enemies away. I don't even hear Miranda until she is stepping in front of the television with her arms crossed.

"Damn Miranda." I hiss. "I'm eliminated now."

Miranda turns slightly and glances at the screen with her eyebrow arched in confusion. She steps away and comment, "I will never understand this barbaric game. You're wasting your potential."

"So it seems." I mutter under my breath. I choose to turn the game off and put it on Chopped Miranda favorite show so she would leave me alone. I stand and mutter again, "I'm going to shower."

I stand under the scalding water for some time before I choose to wash up and step out. I hurry and pull a pair of sweats and shirt on. When I come out the bathroom I smell something delicious.

Miranda is standing in the kitchen in her normal attire and an apron around her waist. She turns around and glances at me for a second before focusing on her task. "Finally." She says. "I thought you were going to melt."

I smile at that and watch her maneuver around the kitchen. Once she is done she place a beautiful dish of red snapper fish with vegetables and potatoes in front of me. My mouth water at the sight. I dig in avoiding eye contact.

Its silent for a half an hour and she clicks away on her laptop while I eat.

After dinner, we settle for bed and before she can question my mood I'm kissing her passionately. She doesn't stop me and within a few short minutes, she is naked, withering under my touch, calling my name.

She pulls onto my hair and I bite down on her shoulder aggressively and her thighs tighten around me. I move deeper inside her and she throws her head back while slamming her free hand into the head post. "Fuck." She hisses before biting down on her lip to keep quiet. I do not stop my movements. My mind begins to swirl with fear and doubt. I bend down and run my tongue around her nipple before biting.

She screams in pleasure.

I pull away and her eyes are glazed she is breathing heavily. I kiss her once more and then move around her and fall onto the bed mentally exhausted. Miranda inhales deeply once more and her hand runs up my thighs in a teasing manner. I grab her hand and kiss her knuckles instead.

She cocks her head to the side curiously and then ask, "Are you upset with me?"

I blink away my thoughts. "No babe," I reply instantly. I force a smile and lean over to kiss her.

She narrows her eyes. She could see right through me. "You've been quiet all evening and you were very aggressive with me just now." Miranda shifts and pulls the sheets up which hides the bites on her shoulder and upper chest. I suddenly feel horrible.

"Miranda, babe. I'm sorry." I apologize instantly and ask with concern. "Did I hurt you?"

Miranda run her fingers through her hair. "No. I don't mind the roughness sometimes." She smirks devilishly. I blush, picturing the few times we have been rough with each other. "I'm just curious to know if I did something wrong?" She asks.

I shake my head. "No. It's not you." I huff and throw my head back into the plush pillows. "Nana came and saw me earlier today."

"I'm guessing it did not go well." She concludes with a scowl on her beautiful face. "I can speak with her if you wish."

My eyes widen. "No." I run my hand over my face. "It will only make it worse."

"Okay." Miranda replies. She then says. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I chew on my bottom lip. Miranda and I have been doing great lately and at this point, I was just ready to move on from negativity and drama. But, I couldn't get Nana words out my head.

I should be honest.

I tell her everything my Nana said and once I'm done I take a deep breath. Miranda is silent and after a beat of silence, she speaks.

"You're still mad about me leaving. That's understandable, Sam. Your Nana has a point but I don't think she should dictate our relationship and try to take you away from me." She seethes. I could see the fire in her eyes and the old Miranda resurfacing. "I take full responsibility for my mistakes but she does not understand us. She doesn't know what we both have risked being with each other. However, if you're angry I get it love and maybe we should visit Dr....

I shake my head immediately. "No, No." I run my fingers through my hair. "I don't want to go back to therapy."

"It could help. I can see you're still upset..."

"I'm not upset Miranda." I cut her off. "I'm scared."

Miranda pause and look away.

"I love you." I tell her. "I've forgiven you but Nana really got in my head. Plus, now there's Piper."

Miranda clenches her jaw. "I would never take Piper away from you, Sam."

I sigh. "You don't know that, Miranda."

Miranda eyes downcast again. "I'm good at making promises I can't keep huh."

I lean forward and kiss her. "I asked my Nana to name me a relationship that is perfect. She couldn't answer. I love you and I don't know what the future hold for us. But, I wanna let go of the past." I kiss her again. "So. I think it's time for me to visit Paul."

Miranda looks at me in shock.

***

The drive is long and I can tell Miranda is nervous. However, I'm feeling okay. It as if I'm about to lift a weight off my shoulder. We arrive at a beautiful house in the middle of nowhere surrounded by nature.

We step out the car and Miranda walk upon the home as if she has done it a thousand times. I stay behind her and choose to follow. Miranda knocks on the door and it doesn't take long until Paul mom is opening it.

"Miranda." She hisses. "You're back once again." She narrows her eyes and looks at me. "And you. Are you here to blame Paul for all your personal issues?"

I clench my jaw.

"Mom." My eyes widen as I hear that voice getting closer. Paul steps into the doorway and he looks good. He has a genuine smile on his face but his eyes seem cautious. "I can take it from here. The roast needs your attention anyway."

Paul mother eyes widen and she hurries back into the home. Paul steps out and shut the door behind him. "Follow me." He say. "My mother is nosy by nature." We round the huge home and I'm at awe at all the trees and animals around. There are a few dogs running about with free will and also horses.

Again I take notice of how Miranda is walking as if she knows this place well. We arrive at a few tables and there are novels and art materials everywhere. Paul blushes, "Sorry. I need to tidy up. Please. Take a seat."

We seat around the table and all three of us is silent for a couple of minutes. All you can hear is the light breeze and birds flying above our head.

Paul finally speaks, "Are you here to tell me you hate me too?" He jokes.

Miranda rolls her eyes, "Your jokes haven't gotten better."

"Too soon?" He chuckles.

I also take notice of how relaxed Miranda and Paul seem to be around each other. Any other person would miss it but it is right there clear as day. Paul eyes sparkle as Miranda acknowledge him and if you look close enough you can see the small twitch in Miranda's lips from being amused.

"People around here think I'm a pretty funny guy." Paul smiles. "Even the grouchy old man from the bookstore."

"I will never come to understand how that bookstore hasn't been shut down yet." Miranda comments and she is not looking directly at Paul but out towards the barn house and trees. It's like she is desperately taking in the sun and nature. I chew on my bottom lip. I was confused.

"There is nothing wrong with having pets around." Paul replies. He naturally grabs his sketchbook and leans back before starting his work.

"Imagine walking into Barnes and Noble and twenty kittens charging at you." Miranda's nose twitches in disgust.

Paul chuckles but his eyes are still on his sketch pad as Miranda complains about the service and smell of old men and books. Paul continues to laugh.

I chew on my bottom lip and finally after some time the conversation around me become serious. "So, ugh. Why are you guys here?" Paul ask. Now he doesn't look like himself. But, a nervous and scared boy. "This is not about me popping up right? I figured Miranda explained to you that I didn't know. I was set up."

"I'm not here to sue you or anything." I frown. I'm not sure where the sudden anger is coming from but I immediately feel horrible when Paul look away in guilt.

Miranda chooses to speak. "Sam and I just wanted to talk."

Paul continues to sketch. "About what?"

Miranda looks to me to speak.

I huff. "I thought this would be easy. I was naive to think that seeing you would make all my problems go away."

Paul rolls his eyes, "You're here to blame me for your personal problems. I will only take responsibility for my actions." He looks to Miranda. "Not for something she chose to do." Paul then grabs his things and stand. "I won't be bullied in my own home."

"Wait." I stop him. "I'm sorry."

Paul takes a seat. "We don't have to talk. We can just sit here." Paul begins to draw and Miranda grabs a pad off the table and begin to sketch models also. I chew on my bottom lip and watch the two of them. It was odd how close they were but also so far apart.

After some time I finally speak again, "I'm sorry about what Tessa did to you. I can't imagine how you felt after being rejected like that."

"I guess in a way I kind of deserved it." Paul replies. "I was really excited to see you guys again. Mom told me it was a bad idea but I didn't listen to her. I should have." Paul chuckles. "I'm not the same guy I use to be. Luckily, Miranda was there to help me. She explained everything to me about Tessa. I guess you guys can't stay away from psychos huh." He jokes. I don't laugh and Miranda only roll her eyes but there it is again. That small twitch in her lips. "Hopefully, in time we could be friends again?" Paul cocks his head to the side.

"I don't know." I reply. "I can't speak for the others. You really scared us"

"I understand." Paul say. "I'm thankful that you took out the time to come out here. Even if it was for yourself."

I nod my head and then ask, "Do you have any questions for me."

"No, not really." Paul replies. "But, could you do something for me. Please."

"Sure." I say. Paul moves things around on the table and finally, he smiles we he finds a red bounded sketchbook. He hands it to me. "Could you show this to the others. I don't think I'll be lucky enough to explain myself and apologize to Rose, Nathalie, and Austin but maybe this could speak for me."

I flip the book over and open the first page. It's a sketch of all of us and damn Paul was still talented. My arms are wrapped around Nathalie's neck, Austin is looking in the mirror while playing with his hair and Paul is standing looking straight ahead.

I flip the page and its a picture of Rose by herself. The next is Miranda and me on the couch. I blush. The two of us is only sitting next to each other holding hands but with Paul dark humor I could only imagine the inside joke. That is the couch Nathalie got rid of. As I continue to flip through the pad there are more drawings of all of us. Including Viviana.

The last page is of everyone minus Paul. At the bottom is small writing.

I cannot change the past but hopefully one day you guys can see how much you changed my life. I love you all.

-Paul.

I look up and Paul is back to drawing. Drawing seems to be his coping mechanism. I take a minute to think about how when he was obsessing over Rose he wasn't drawing anymore. I kind of feel guilty. We were all so wrapped up in our own problems that we didn't take the time to notices the changes in Paul attitude. The jealousy, the anger, the sadness.

"It's not your fault." Paul grabs my attention. "I stop taking my medication before Rose came around. I was in a good place when I met you and Austin. No one knew about me there. You guys didn't have a clue. It was too late when I notice the changes in my mood. By then I had already flushed all my medication down the toilet."

I give him a sad smile. We should have been there for him. The way he was there for me when Miranda left. "I'm so sorry Paul." I pull him in a hug. "I'll make sure they see this."

Paul smiles brightly. We all begin to head back to the house and his mother invites us in for the roast. She wouldn't let us refuse. We sit in the kitchen and Miranda comments on her decor. Paul mother smiles excited. She says she took Miranda advice on adding more color. Preferably red tones.

I feel left out. Everything seems so normal with the three. Miranda doesn't speak much but she didn't have too because Paul and his mother took over the conversation. However, there is always that small twitch in her lip. As we leave to walk out the door Paul stands there and Miranda opens her mouth to speak.

Paul waves his hand and chuckle, "I know. You hate me."

Miranda shake her head. "Not anymore. I do hate your jokes."

Paul cock her head to the side, "Do you still wish you killed me?"

My eyes widen. I wanted to walk away from this conversation I did not understand. Miranda tap her chin as she thinks. "I'm not sure yet."

Paul nods his head. "I'm happy you didn't. I think my mom would rather have a living psychopath than a dead one."

Miranda's lip twitches again. "Goodbye, Paul."

We walk to the car and it is a long ride but I feel so much better. There is no more tension and I glance down at the cover of the red sketchbook Paul gave to me. I begin to flip through it again. I actually laugh at the all the dark jokes that are hidden around a shoulder or a leg. We arrive at the condo and everyone is present. The house is full of life but I am sad because I can feel that we are missing one person.

Rose walks into the living and flips over the red sketchbook I left on the table. She furrowed her eyebrows. She reads the title out loud. "How you changed the life of your local psychopath." I snort and Miranda's lip twitches before she is rolling her eyes.

"Who the hell is your local psychopath?" Rose ask. She then flips the first page. "Oh God. Why are there detail drawings of me and Nathalie." Rose squint her eyes reading closely, "The one I couldn't catch. Literally." It takes her a moment before she is dropping the pad like it is acid. "Why the fuck do you have one of Paul sketchbooks?"

I look around the room as all eyes are on me and Miranda. I take a deep breath and explain how my day went with the local psychopath.