Sophomore year of college / Age 19...
Hayden is hopelessly staring out of the window as the sounds of rotating laundry barrels taint his ears. This may be the first time he has successfully done laundry without setting the dryer on fire or turning all his clothes pinkânot that Hayden's complainingâbut something else is on his mind that clouds his excitement.
He sighs and rests his head on his palm, watching a sweet couple outside swing their conjoined hands happily as gleeful smiles stretch across their faces. Hayden huffs in annoyance before looking elsewhere but only ends up disappointed when he sees a loving couple share a sickeningly sweet kiss before embracing.
Over the past few weeks, Hayden has felt himself becoming increasingly insecure in his relationship, and he hates that he feels this way too. Hayden knows that Vincent cares for him, but Hayden lights up at hearing his voice, at sleeping next to him each night, and even feels special when Vincent looks at him a certain way. However, Vincent just looks indifferent to all of Hayden's actions by this point and Hayden wants the assurance of knowing that Vincent likes him with the same amount of passion and intensity...but Vincent never talks about his feelings.
It certainly doesn't help that it is almost four in the afternoon and Vincent has shown no signs of remembering their one-year anniversary.
Hayden knows that he is only digging himself a deeper grave the more that he thinks about it and the more that he researches what other relationships are like, but he just can't help himself.
After twelve months, not a single 'I love you' has been muttered. After 365 days, Vincent still hardly ever touches him. After 525600 minutes, Vincent has yet to compliment him or tell him how important he is or make even a simple fucking romantic gestureâthe list of Vincent's shortcomings goes on and on.
Yes, the couple has had sex, but in a way, that makes Hayden feel even worse. And it's Hayden of all people. Nobody loves the horizontal hula more than the free-spirited Hayden Williams, but somehow his own boyfriend is making him feel neglected.
Hayden is also experiencing a lot of firsts with Vincent. Hell, this is the first time the boy has been in a stable relationship. It's also the first time he has kept his lips off-limits to the public, so he is feeling pretty proud of himselfâif only Vincent could see that.
Hayden is pulled from his thoughts when someone bumps his hip. He swiftly moves out of the way only to find Vincent opening the door to his dryer with a smirk.
"My instincts told me that you forgot dryer sheets," Vincent says softly.
"Dammit," Hayden groans. "I was doing so good. Look, the laundry room is still intact!"
Vincent playfully looks around to humor his boyfriend before dryly saying, "I see that."
Hayden crosses his arms and leans back against the row of machines before saying, "How did you even find me?"
"Well," Vincent begins. "If you weren't doing stupid shit on the roof and you weren't in the cafeteria taking advantage of the unlimited cake buffet, I figured that you were surprisingly doing something productive for once in your life."
Hayden huffs before defiantly looking out of the window at the comment.
Vincent hops onto the folding counter before gently asking, "Hey, is something wrong? You've been kind of off all day."
"Vinny, I don't know if this is all some sick joke or something, but it isn't fruity, fun, or fresh."
"What?" Vincent says, stifling a laugh.
"Vincent, do you really not know?" Hayden then says smally, hugging his arms tightly around himself.
"Know what?" Vincent responds in the same, delicate tone of voice he always uses to address his boyfriend.
"It's been a year..." Hayden says solemnly. "If I'm remembering the anniversary of our relationship then something is clearly wrong. I'm supposed to be the irresponsible one." He sighs, "I can't be pretty and carry the relationship on my own."
Fuck, Vincent thinks.
As smart as he is, somewhere in his mind, he thought Hayden would be okay with skipping past important milestones. Even though Hayden still has some humor in him, Vincent can tell that he is genuinely hurt. Vincent just didn't think that Hayden, someone who hardly ever takes anything seriously, would be upset at not being sentimental. Vincent is also trying to not do everything he did with Sabrina for the fear of fucking up his relationship with Hayden because he can't lose him. Vincent has lost his own house and half of his family, so he can't lose one of the people who unknowingly keeps him together.
"Shit, I'm sorry Hayden," Vincent says sincerely, jumping off the counter and reaching out to place a comforting hand on his boyfriend.
Hayden moves away, fairly upset but trying not to show it.
"Can I just ask you one thing?" Hayden whispers. Vincent looks at him patiently. "Have you been humoring me this whole time?"
"What?" Vincent says, his chest tightening at the implications of the question.
"Do you even really like me?" Hayden says, looking at the ground when he can't maintain eye contact because those swirls of chocolate are his favorite comfort, but he won't be able to handle it if they stomp his heart into the ground. "You never make any excuses to touch me. You never call me handsome or anything like that. You don't even kiss me half of the time. I just...don't know what else to think."
Vincent strolls across the laundry room to the door. But before Hayden can get any wrong ideas, Vincent kicks the door shut and locks it. He then easily flicks the light off.
"You forgot the blinds," Hayden mutters halfheartedly.
Vincent aggressively shuts the blind so that no light enters the room. Hayden shifts with unease in the darkness and almost jumps when Vincent touches his side.
"What are youâ"
"Shut your mouth," Vincent commands before pressing his lips firmly against Hayden's.
And just like that, Hayden melts at the mercy of Vincent Russell. With one simple touch of his lips, he's so completely smitten and sold that he couldn't walk away from Vincent, even if he was asked to.
Vincent pulls Hayden closer, pushing his hands into his lower back so that he can feel all of Hayden. Vincent cards his hand through Hayden's soft brown hair, clenching the strands so carefully between his fingers as he tries to show how much this boy means to him without words. Hayden is so, so weak to his familiar touch that he's like pliable clay anytime Vincent lays his hands on him.
"Vinny," Hayden breathes into their kiss.
"Hold on, I'm not done with you yet," Vincent cheekily says.
Hayden smiles as their lips masterfully connect in the darkness of their surroundings. After all, no light is needed for their chests to spark with adoration.
Vincent, despite not knowing where they are in the room, pushes Hayden back until his boyfriend meets one of the surfaces of the washing machines. Vincent cages Hayden's slightly shorter form with his body, his hands planting themselves on the metal behind Hayden. Hayden has to breathlessly lean back as Vincent lightly but passionately keeps their lips connected.
Suddenly, Hayden's thoughts of dread all come rushing back. Vincent still hasn't actually said anything regarding Hayden's genuine questions. Hayden clenches his eyes shut at the thought of Vincent only liking him physically and not as a person. Before Hayden can overthink any longer, Vincent's voice slices through the wistful moment.
"I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry for making you feel like you are worth anything less than you are," Vincent whispers, giving Hayden a little kiss in between each word.
Hayden shyly smiles at the loving actions, placing his hands on Vincent's shoulders.
"You may be crazy, but wow, you are fucking beautiful too," Vincent continues, placing wet kisses up Hayden's cheek to hopefully pull a laugh out of his boyfriend, and his plan expertly works. "I'm sorry that I haven't been the man that you want me to beâthat you need me to be, but I swear that I will do anything to make it up to you."
Hayden is unable to stop himself from saying what's on his mind with the consolation of Vincent.
"I love you, Vinny," he breathes, a drunken smile falling off his lips.
Vincent sighs deeply and says, "You're killing me, Hayden," before resting his forehead against his boyfriend's cheek in the darkness.
Hayden waits and waits and waits for Vincent to say it back...but he never does. The pair soaks up the awkward silence, Vincent soothing his hands up Hayden's body when his tongue is tied.
Hayden then brokenly whispers, "Are you...going to say it back?"
"I can't lie to you," Vincent replies, treading as gently as possible while his hand softly presses Hayden's hair against his neck. "I don't want to say it if I don't mean it."
"W-What?"
"Fuck, that came out wrong," Vincent sighs, kissing his neck sweetly. "I just mean that I'm not there yet, and that's not your fault."
Hayden, not feeling comforted by Vincent's clarification, begins to pull away, but his boyfriend isn't having it.
"No, no, no, come here," Vincent soothes, tugging his boyfriend tighter to him. As much as Hayden doesn't want to, he sighs contently into the embrace because he hardly ever experiences this soft side of Vincent. "I don't think I meant it when I said it to Sabrina," Vincent admits. "It's a hard thing for me. I've never loved anyone before. Hell, I don't even think I've said those words to my parents. But I can assure you that I'm getting there, Hayden. Just...please be patient with me."
Hayden sighs but rests his chin on Vincent's shoulder, slipping his hands underneath his shirt.
"Okay," he whispers. "I won't lie, though. It does hurt a little, but I can't change it. After all, I don't plan on going anywhere. Vinny, you just confuse the hell out of me sometimes."
"I know. I'm sorry," Vincent breathes, letting his hand wander down to Hayden's where he starts playing with his fingers. "I've never cared for someone this much so I don't know how to express that to you."
Hayden can't help but let a delicate grin paint his face as he plants a long kiss just off to the side of Vincent's mouth.
"...Can we talk about it?" Hayden whispers.
"Of course. You can talk to me about anything."
"I know vulnerability is hard for you," Hayden begins.
If they weren't in the dark, Hayden knows his boyfriend well enough to know that he would turn his face away at the forbidden v-word. Hayden places a hand on his cheek to bring his attention toward him, despite the lack of light.
"I know that sometimes you think it's better to keep all of your feelings inside than confide in me. I also know that maybe because I'm so unserious sometimes, you think you can't come to me for anything. Vinny, I'm your boyfriend first above all else because I love you so much that sometimes I don't know what to do with myself," Hayden confesses with a little laugh. "And because I feel so strongly for you, it hurts that I can't tell if you feel the same. You've never told me how you feel about me besides the first time we kissed. Can you at least try to be more open with me? I just need some...what's the word? Ah! Reassurmance."
Vincent snorts before correcting him. "Reassurance, you mean?"
"Close enough," Hayden shrugs.
"Not really," Vincent smiles before placing his hands on Hayden's hips to soothe circles into his skin. He then sighs. "I promise that I will try...for you."
"Tell me something I don't know," Hayden smiles, starting small with his boyfriend.
"Um, okay," Vincent mutters awkwardly, not used to being put on the spot.
"It doesn't have to be something big either," Hayden elaborates. "Just tell me something that you've never told anyone else before. It doesn't even have to relate to us or our feelings. I'll start... I think we should use ropes in the bedroom."
"What for?" Vincent says ignorantly.
"You know, you could tie me up, toss me around, draw me like one of your French girls, Jack."
Vincent nearly chokes but Hayden continues.
"Ooooh, handcuffs sound fun too. Oh, and we could even use a blindfold!"
"Jesus fucking Christ," Vincent laughs, his head falling to Hayden's shoulder. "You are one kinky motherfucker."
"I like to use the word seasoned, but to each their own, I guess," Hayden shrugs.
"Anyways," Vincent chuckles. "We are going to save that conversation for later."
Hayden laughs, wrapping his arms around Vincent's neck lovingly. He noses his cheek fondly before saying, "Now what about you?"
"Did I ever tell you why me and Sabrina broke up?"
"Vinnyyyy," Hayden whines. "I don't want to talk about your gorgeous ex. You are already failing."
"No, listen," Vincent grins, moving the hair out of Hayden's face. "Sabrina broke up with me because she said I didn't love her."
"Oh, this is news," Hayden smirks.
"Just shut up and listen."
"Shut up and dance with me~" Hayden sings.
"Hayden, focus," Vincent laughs.
"Right, sorry."
"As I was saying, I didn't know then what I know now," Vincent explains. "Sabrina kept saying shit like my heart was reserved for someone else and that I need to open my eyes. She knew well before I did that I liked you."
Hayden can't keep the giddy smile off his face.
"And I do...really like you, Stupid," Vincent admits softly.
"Geez, I hope you don't plan on teaching a romance class in the future."
"Shut the hell up," Vincent counters.
Vincent takes the opportunity to kiss him again. It's soft and sweetâthe total opposite of Vincent, but he'll do it for Hayden.
"Wow, do I love that my super hot boyfriend is a good kisser," Hayden mutters, causing Vincent to laugh.
"Your super hot boyfriend? Really?" Vincent says, unamused.
"You should have known the title was coming."
"Yeah, yeah," Vincent muses.
He begins to pull away from Hayden, but Hayden is soaking up the time that his boyfriend actually wants to touch him. He hugs him tightly, and Vincent complies by letting his arms limply hang at his side.
"Do you want to know my biggest fear?" Vincent whispers.
"Unbuttered toast? Flying squirrels? Wait, no. I've got it. When your favorite character in a book dies?"
"Yes but no," Vincent beams. "My biggest fear has always been losing you. I didn't know that we'd ever get to the point of dating, but I never wanted to stray far from you."
"Tell me more," Hayden smiles.
"Nope, sorry," Vincent claims. "I've reached my saying-sappy-shit limit."
"Okay, we will work on it," Hayden laughs. "I'm proud of you."
"Yeah, whatever," Vincent says, clicking his tongue.
Hayden rolls his eyes but knows that his boyfriend has a long way to go. They can work through it in the upcoming years of their lives, but there is still one thing on Hayden's mind.
"Vinny, you have touched me more in this moment than you have the entire past year," Hayden announces.
"Yeah, I know," Vincent mumbles, almost guiltily. "I know touch may be your love language, Hayden, but it isn't mine."
That sentence slightly dampens Hayden's mood. He pulls away from Vincent when he realizes that maybe his boyfriend doesn't want to be this close.
"But just because we have different ways of showing our care, that doesn't mean it should drive a wedge in our relationship. We just both have to make an effort to compromise, okay?" Vincent asks.
"What does that mean?" Hayden replies, fiddling with the end of his shirt.
"It means that I will try to be better. I'll try to hold your hand more, to kiss you more, to open up to the idea of cuddling, but I can't promise that it'll always be at the forefront of my mind. But if you see me start to get distant, there's nothing wrong with telling me what you want me to do for you. What I need from you, however, is to recognize that all the things I do for you are my way of expressing affection. I always cook your favorite things whenever you ask. I always remind you of the little things you forget. I always take on all the chores you hate. I always bring you warm towels for after you get out of the shower. I do whatever you ask me to, even if I've had a shitty day and just want to relax. Hell, I even let you drag me to whatever events you want to attend, not because I actually want to be there, but because you want me to be there. Do you see all of that?"
Hayden feels a little silly now. He really has the best boyfriend in the world but was so obsessed with his own needs that he didn't notice how much Vincent has done for him.
"Can I hug you?" Hayden asks softly.
"Sure."
Hayden steps into Vincent's waiting arms. Vincent nicely rubs his back as Hayden buries his face in his boyfriend's neck.
"I'm sorry for not seeing it earlier," Hayden murmurs into Vincent's skin, leaving a small kiss over his throat.
"That's okay," Vincent smiles, resting his chin on the top of Hayden's head. "I know that you only see things in black or white most of the time."
"Is that supposed to be an insult...or did you just compare me to Michael Jackson?"
"Iâ"
"Because I think I have some moves comparable to Michael Jackson," Hayden further explains.
"Don't ever lie to me like that again," Vincent retorts ruthlessly.
Hayden gasps, "Rude!"
"But I didn't mean the black or white thing as an insult, Hayden," Vincent says seriously. "That's just the way you think, and it's something I've truly...grown to like about you."
"Two sappy sentences from the grouch in one day," Hayden chirps. "I'm starting to think I won the lottery."
"Be quiet," Vincent murmurs jokingly. "But is there anything else you want to clear up while we are here?"
"Um..." Hayden begins shyly.
Vincent instantly notices his bashfulness and can't help but raise an eyebrow. Maybe he is using his brain this time instead of blurting out random shit.
"What is it?" Vincent urges, kissing his cheek.
Hayden smiles at the unusual affection before quietly saying, "Can you call me baby?"
Vincent pulls away from Hayden with revulsion.
"Oh, fuck no," Vincent spits. "That makes me want to gag." Vincent physically shakes away the idea. "Ew, that's disgusting."
"Vinny!" Hayden stomps his foot. "Why not?!"
"I think I'd rather die."
"B-But Leo calls Asher baby all the time!"
"Do I look like Leo to you?" Vincent retorts.
"Fine," Hayden huffs, crossing his arms. "How about honey?"
"What? You want me to buzz like a fucking bee now?"
"Darling?"
"I'm not the prince of England," Vincent claims, rolling his eyes.
"Pookie?"
"I'm walking away," Vincent says, before striding across the room in the darkness.
"No, wait!" Hayden laughs, clinging to Vincent's back.
Once Hayden catches his boyfriend, he places his hands on his hips and starts to sway, despite the dark and lack of music.
"What are you doing?" Vincent sighs.
"Come on, Vinny," Hayden grins. "Dance with me."
Vincent rolls his eyes for the fiftieth time that day, but turns around, placing one hand on Hayden's hip while the other clasps his fingers. The two waltz around the laundry room since they've never gotten the chance at a school dance before.
"Want me to sing?" Hayden offers.
"God, no."
The melodious laughs that pour from the two accompany their swift movements. Vincent twirls Hayden around, causing the latter to laugh as he loses himself in the soft moment. And when Vincent dips his boyfriend down, Hayden takes him by surprise by sweetly kissing his lips.
"Sorry," Hayden mutters, knowing that he has been very touchy for pledging Vincent patience.
"Don't be," Vincent says softly, pulling him back up into his arms.
Hayden circles his arms around Vincent as they now settle into a slow dance tempo. Their bodies and faces are close as they can feel the presence of one another as opposed to needing to see each other for the moment to feel magical. Hayden rests his head on Vinny's shoulder, and Vincent rests his head against Hayden's. They sway and tango and shuffle and dance, completely letting time slip through their fingers.
"I love you," Hayden says again without the fear of what his boyfriend will say.
"And I'm getting there," Vincent smiles, holding him close.
Nobody knows how long they are painted in black with the scent of laundry detergent to guide them, but neither one plans to let go anytime soon. Hell, this may be the first time in a long time that Vincent has felt this close to anyone. They whisper sweet nothings in the other's ear as if it doesn't conflict with their personalities in every way. When you feel so deeply for someone, maybe it's normal to lose yourself a little bit so your other half can complete a new side of you.
"Vinny?" Hayden questions after a long moment of comfortable silence.
"Hm?"
"Why are my socks wet?"
Vincent deadpans, "Did you forget your shoes again?"
"Um...yeah," Hayden sighs, and Vincent just laughs at the disappointment he can hear in his voice. "But that didn't answer my question."
Vincent quirks an eyebrow before feeling around in the darkness to find the light switch. When the lights flash back on, Vincent's eyes widen in horror.
"Hayden, what the actual fuck did you do?" Vincent gasps.
"What are you talking about?" Hayden mutters in confusion.
Vincent easily walks back toward him and spins him around to reveal the spectacle. Hayden gasps too.
Almost the entire floor is covered in white foam that reeks of detergent. The washing machine that currently houses Hayden's laundry is spinning so harshly that it's rattling the entire unit. Suds are rapidly spilling out from the cracks of the washer door, and it looks like the machine is seconds away from combusting.
"Ah, shit," Hayden comments. "Now I gotta explain to my dad why there are two laundry room charges on my bill."
"I mean...if they don't know you didn't do it, how are they going to charge you?" Vincent explains innocently.
The two make eye contact with matching smirks. They waste no time before trying to sprint out of the door, however, it doesn't quite go as planned.
The shoeless Hayden barely even makes one stride before he slips on the detergent-covered tile. He reaches out to grab anything to catch his fall and unfortunately catches the neckline of Vincent's shirt. Vincent starts unexpectedly hurtling toward the floor alongside his boyfriend.
Vincent heavily lands on top of Hayden, causing the latter to laugh in shock and pain. Vincent immediately rolls off his boyfriend, not even caring about the liquid and foam covering the ground that soaks his shirt.
"Shit, you okay?" Vincent smiles, trying to stifle a laugh.
"You think I'd be used to it by now considering I played football for so long, but I honestly think you broke my rib," Hayden groans.
Vincent's face turns smug as he scoops up a pile of the bubbles and gives Hayden a smack on the side of his head, causing the soap to disperse everywhere. A flurry of white now coats Hayden's head and hair.
"That's what your dumbass gets for causing this whole mess," Vincent chuckles before standing up and carefully tiptoeing toward the door.
Noticing his boyfriend trying to leave, Hayden hastily gets up but only ends up faceplanting about a foot away from his boyfriend's feet.
"You need help," Vincent snorts. "Lots of professional help."
Hayden just grumbles and clutches his side. Vincent, rolling his eyes at Hayden's dramatics, leans down to actually help out his boyfriend before they can get in serious trouble. He effortlessly picks Hayden up bridal style before heading out of the room.
Hayden giggles and flutters his feet in Vincent's arms. "I can get used to this."
"Don't make me drop your ass."
Hayden huffs but snuggles into Vincent's arms as he tosses every person they pass a cheeky eyebrow raise because none of them have Vincent Russell quite like he does. He really is so lucky.
"Vinny?"
"Hm?"
"Can I help you make dinner tonight?"
Vincent looks down at his other half with a fond smile.
"Sure thing."