Sophomore Year / Age 15...
"Good afternoon, Mr. Williams," Mrs. Cotler, the Greenville High principal, announces.
Scott gives the woman a respectful nod as his son sits beside him nervously. Hayden doesn't meet the principal's eyes as he looks at his lap.
On any other occasion, Hayden would usually be annoying the crap out of the principal with annoying jokes and witty comments, but in the presence of his dad, he doesn't want to disappoint him.
"What brings me here?" Scott smiles.
"I just wanted to bring us together so we could talk about Hayden," she informs. "I have a couple of concerns."
Scott looks at Hayden when he notices that, for once, his son is eerily quiet. He reaches over and gently rubs his shoulder as he waits for the principal to continue.
"He's failing almost every single one of his classes besides football," Mrs. Cotler says. "He has multiple detentions on his record and many teachers have complained about him. He's acting out more and more and I don't know what else to do besides confide in you. I mean, is there something I should know about going on at home?"
Scott shakes his head. He then scrunches his eyebrows up and stares at his son once again. Hayden always says what's on his mind, so it's weird to him that his son has been withholding certain things when he always has stories to share.
Hayden crosses his arms and slouches in his chair.
Nobody gets it.
Hayden feels so goddamn lonely. He has the greatest friends in the world, yet they can't carry him on their backs at every moment. His dad is irreplaceable, yet he is feeling the strain of them being so far apart for so many days in the year. No matter what girl Hayden obsesses over, dates, and kisses, they never last because they can never like Hayden for who he truly is.
He can't focus in school because he always wants to be the person that everyone's eyes are drawn toward, and not because he's stupid, but because he is genuinely an interesting person. Nobody takes him seriously. Most people only tolerate him because friends with popular football captain Leo Gaines.
His facade to make people laugh isn't working as well as he expected because he is only responded to with scowls and glares. He does every little thing to branch out and meet new people, yet nobody gives him the time of day because they think he's a waste of oxygen.
Since when is the class clown beat down the worst?
"Is there anything that I should know?" Mrs. Cotler offers. "How can we adapt our teachings to make it beneficial to him? Don't get me wrong; I'm sure he's a wonderful kid, but that doesn't translate to what we are seeing here."
"Hayden?" Scott addresses softly. "Anything to say?"
Hayden looks away in shame.
Scott sighs before looking back at the dispirited woman.
"I think it would be best if we talk about it at home," Scott smiles. "Maybe then we can set up another conference and discuss it again."
Mrs. Cotler nods, "Okay, sounds like a good idea. Have a great rest of your day."
"Will do."
Scott and Hayden exit the office and walk through the now-empty school hallways. Neither says a single word until they get into the car and start driving home.
Scott sighs, "Hayden, what's going on? You usually tell me everything?"
"It's hard to do that when you aren't here half of the time," Hayden grumbles, looking outside of the window.
"That's not fair," Scott answers. "I always ask you to tell me anything that's on your mind and you know that I would cut any of my trips short if you asked me to. Son, you know how much I love you, right?"
Hayden's mind is falling to pieces. He has always been grateful for everything his dad has done, but he can help but want a normal life with two parents because then at least one would always be in his corner.
Hayden hates to admit it, but he is afraid of loneliness after the constant years of bullying.
He doesn't respond.
"Listen, I'm doing the best I can. You can be mad at me for not being around as much as I need to be, but you can't just flunk out of school," Scott continues. "Your future is in your own hands and I'm not going to force you to be successful because you need to find that motivation yourself. All you have to do is pass. It's not that hard."
"That's easy for you to say," Hayden huffs.
"Hayden, you need to grow up. That's just reality." Scott doesn't say the comment with ill intent, but Hayden takes it in a negative light as that's all people have ever told him since starting high school.
"Grow up?! You act like I haven't been raising myself!" Hayden exclaims.
Scott is stunned by his outburst. He and his son have never fought before, but maybe it's because he is never around enough for them to actually clash heads.
Has he secretly been a horrible father this whole time?
"Hayden," Scott soothes, putting his hand on Hayden's knee.
He instantly shoves away the touch and says, "Stop, Dad. I'm done talking."
When the pair finally arrive home after their conflicting car ride, Hayden instantly strides to his room. And just like every other moody teen his age, he slams the door shut.
Scott immediately moves into the kitchen to start making dinner. He's hoping that with a little time to get their heads on straight they can have a good conversation at dinner like they always do.
After about an hour, Scott heads deeper into the house with two plates of protein, vegetables, and rice. He knocks on Hayden's door, but when his son doesn't answer, he walks in anyway.
Hayden is sitting at his desk with his earbuds in. He has been staring at the same piece of homework for the last thirty minutes, disappointed that he doesn't know any of the subject because he is too busy trying to make people laugh in class.
A gentle tug on his shirt alerts Hayden of his Dad's presence. He sighs and pauses his music before looking up at his dad whose face is covered in apology.
"Do you want to eat in here?" Scott gives him a good-natured smile.
Hayden gives a half-hearted shrug.
Scott sets the dinner plate on Hayden's desk while he sits on the ground and starts eating at his feet.
"I'm sorry," Scott says after a few minutes when it's clear that Hayden isn't going to speak first.
Hayden just nods.
"Would it be easier if I hired a caretaker or something?" Scott offers.
"Dad, I'm fifteen," Hayden sighs.
"I know, but I'm just...trying to find a way that we can compromise," Scott reasons.
"It wouldn't matter who you try to find because they aren't going to be my dad," Hayden mumbles. "Have you even attended a football game this year?"
Scott's expression drops. He instantly puts his food on the ground before pulling his son up from his chair to wrap him in a hug. Despite how much of an affectionate person he is, Hayden's arms stay slack at his side because he knows that nothing is going to change no matter what consoling words his dad wants to say.
"I'm sorry," Scott admits again, although there isn't much he can promise. "And I love you so much."
Hayden finally melts into the embrace, closing his eyes as he rests his head on his father's chest.
"What can I do to make it better?" Scott offers. "Do you need a tutor? Do you want me to FaceTime you every day that I'm away so we can talk? I just...I don't know what else to do."
"I don't know, Dad," Hayden admits.
"Can weâ"
Scott is cut off by his phone ringing. He ignores it until Hayden quietly says, "You can answer it."
Scott pulls away from their embrace and immediately feels his heart drop when he realizes that it's his boss. He steps into the hallway before answering.
"Hello?" Scott says politely.
"Hey, do you think you could be in Denver by tomorrow morning? We are having serious problems at the new opening."
Scott glances into his son's room and looks up at the ceiling in defeat.
"Yeah," Scott answers. "Yeah, I'll be there."
"Thanks. I'll get back to you with further details."
Scott hangs up the phone and enters Hayden's room again. Hayden stares at him curiously, but within a matter of seconds, he can read the guilty expression on his face.
"Haydenâ"
"Just go," Hayden snaps, turning his back to his dad and slipping his headphones on.
"I'll be back soon; I promise," Scott says desperately. "I love you."
"Yeah, whatever," Hayden scoffs, turning his music up to full volume.
Scott hates that he has to trudge out of Hayden's room, but he doesn't have a choice. He has to catch a plane by the end of the night.
Meanwhile, Hayden has a heavy heart all throughout the night.
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Hayden thinks he's in love. At least that's how Hayden's mind thinks every time his dad is away for so long. He just wants someone to bring home; someone that will hang out with him for a few hours.
Vincent has been coming around Hayden's house less and less for the sake of his parents, but that doesn't mean they aren't closer than ever. Still, Hayden misses the times when he would just sit and ramble on for hours and Vincent would be the only person to actually listen.
Nonetheless, Hayden can't rely on Vincent. That's how his girl-crazy mind began. What better way to fill the void than with a super hot girlfriend?
Hayden finally sees his girlfriend of two weeks across the hallway. He perks up and walks toward her with no care in the world for the dirty looks he is getting from her friends.
"Hey, Beth," he says suavely, trying a little too hard to be impressive. When you're in a relationship, the greatest standard that should be shared is being yourself, but Hayden doesn't quite get that yet.
Beth's friends keep walking while she tucks her hair behind her ear and looks up at her supposed boyfriend.
"What's up?" she says sweetly, glancing at the people around him as if she's embarrassed by him. Hayden is too naive to even notice.
"I'm having the football team over at my house tonight so I was wondering if you wanted to get lunch off campus instead of hanging out later," Hayden chirps. "As an added plus, you get to have a heaping plate of hotness to yourself...and I'm not talking about the food." Hayden winks.
Beth smiles awkwardly before saying, "Are you paying?"
"Yeah, sure," Hayden shrugs carelessly, popping his collar. "I got plenty of cash for you, girl."
She laughs nervously before grabbing Hayden's hand and swiftly leaving the school. As they start their walk to the nearest fast-food restaurant, Hayden feels the need to fill the silence.
"Sooooo...when am I gonna meet your friends?" Hayden grins, buzzing with energy as he walks alongside someone he is going to profess his love to soon.
Beth repeatedly clicks away on her phone, barely even glancing at Hayden.
She gives a delayed response: "Oh...I don't knowwww. I just...don't really like it when my friends are close to my, ahem, boyfriend. I'm scared they are all going to fall for you."
"Reasonable worry," Hayden laughs, even though he knows that isn't the case. The only way to tell someone you aren't insecure is to ooze mock confidence.
"Uhuh, sure."
Once the two make it to the fast food chain, Hayden pays for the meals...just like he has done the past seven times. They quickly eat inside, but not many words are exchanged between the two. Hayden discretely takes pictures of the love of his life while she, again, texts on her phone with a mixture of emotionsâone including notable disgust.
When they walk out of the establishment, Beth is suddenly all over him.
She tugs him to the back side of the building. She happily pushes him against the wall and attacks him with lust. Hayden doesn't object when her lips are on his because a majority of the time, it greatly clears his mind.
He doesn't have to think about how much of a disappointment he is to his father, even though his father has never once thought that about him. He doesn't have to think about how his lonely void is an endless abyss because few people can stand to be around him.
Beth and Hayden's tongues sloppily tangle as fire drives them instead of inexperience. Their hands aren't shy as they crawl anywhere they possibly can, displaying their need to catch up to societal expectations of sexually active teens.
After a few minutes, Hayden pulls away so he can quickly whisper "I think I love you" in her ear.
Beth grins brightly, "Oh, thank you."
She locks their lips again before Hayden has any chance to think.
Hayden may be stupid, but he's not that stupid.
Even as his lips are ferociously moving against hers, he knows that she didn't say it back.
When their impromptu make-out session is over, they are walking back toward the school. However, Hayden notices the skip in Beth's step which usually indicates something is on her mind.
"What's up?" Hayden questions.
"Um...I've just been wondering something."
"Something like what?"
She shyly says, "Do you know if Sawyer is seeing anyone?"
Hayden stops dead in his tracks to look at her.
She then continues, "Like, does he have a girlfriend?"
"I mean, I know the man is attractive, but are you being serious?" Hayden says in disbelief.
"What?" she asks innocently. "I was wondering if you could set me up."
And just like that, Hayden's fear of abandonment is reignited because it seems as though nobody will ever truly like him for him.
Hayden storms away from the girl who doesn't even bother chasing after him. He knows exactly where he is headed after enduring what he guesses is his first actual heartbreak.
By the time he makes it to the courtyard, he easily spots Leo, Sawyer, and Vincent. While Leo and Sawyer are seated on the concrete and immersed in deep conversation, Vincent is sitting on a bench beside them with a book in his hands.
He waltzes over to the spot beside Vincent, planting himself on the cool iron as he cuddles up to his best friend. Just as Vincent is about to playfully shove him away, the crew notices that he has nothing to sayâno witty joke, inappropriate comment, or silly greeting.
Hayden's head drops to Vincent's shoulder and he gives Leo and Sawyer small nods to let him know that he is okay. Vincent, noticing his friend's unusual sorrow, pulls the book in front of both of their faces.
Hayden may not be a bookworm like his best friend, but he appreciates the gesture from someone who isn't great at consolation. Vincent gets him like no other.
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Hayden is feeling under the weather at his own get-together.
His house is full of chatter from the football team. The entire place smells like pizza and he's sure that the team is going to leave the place a mess, but he doesn't even care. So many things have happened in the past two days that he is so utterly exhausted; he can't put up his facade.
Vincent, on the other hand, isn't in a people-pleasing mood. After yet another fight with his parents where he had to repeatedly say that team dinner was mandatory, only then did they let him come over to Hayden's house.
As usual, he is immersed in a book, minding his own business on the couch. However, when Lucas Reed, a junior football player, jokingly sits next to him on the couch and curiously snatches his book out of his hand, Vincent is instantly annoyed.
"You really couldn't find any other time to be nerdy?" he teases. "What even is this?"
Vincent rolls his eyes and grabs it back. Vincent gets off the couch, not wanting to be anywhere near the boy who has taken a sudden liking to bullying Leo.
Lucas gets up to follow him with a playful laugh, but Vincent isn't having any of it. He shoves Lucas back on the couch and spits, "Leave me alone, fuckface."
Only now does Lucas realize that Vincent wasn't kidding. Vincent definitely is a force to be reckoned with so Lucas shrugs it off and looks for someone else to bother that thankfully isn't Leo.
Just when Vincent thinks he has found a new spot to get comfortable next to a talkative Sawyer, someone screams a suggestion and everyone cheers in approval.
"Who wants to play never have I ever?!"
Hayden lights up at the notion of a party game. Meanwhile, Vincent begrudgingly follows everyone to the center of the room where they form a circle.
"Who wants to start it?" an upperclassman asks.
"Oh, me!" Hayden exclaims. "Me, me, me, me! Pick me!"
"Why did you even ask?" Sawyer mutters playfully.
Everyone looks at Hayden expectantly.
"Come on now, put those hands up," Hayden scoffs. "I want to watch everyone lose to me."
"Yeah, yeah," another football player muses.
"Okay, okay," Hayden says excitedly with his ten fingers up in the air. "So...never have I ever got so drunk that I texted my ex from eighth grade thinking she was Lady Gaga, wondering if she could buy me a new car with a little puppy included."
Everyone wordlessly stares at him.
"Um, what?" Felix says.
Hayden shrugs.
"Why does that sound like something he actually did?" Mason ponders.
"Guilty," Hayden chimes with a little laugh as he puts a finger down.
"Um, that's not how this game worâ"
"Looks like I'm winning," Hayden beams. "Who's next? Vinny, tell me something good."
"Um..." Vincent thinks for a second. "Never have I ever kissed anyone."
The question is shocking to the rest of the football team. They know that Vincent mostly keeps to himself, but they would've never imagined that someone of his reputation and looks wouldn't have any history of girlfriends.
Everyone else but Jordan puts a finger down, who gets nudged in the side by Lucas's elbow.
"Oh, silly Vinny," Hayden chuckles. "I'd be honored to give you your first."
Vincent begins to protest, "Uh, no, I'mâ"
Hayden doesn't care about Vincent's objection as he throws his arms around his neck and plants a wet smooch on his friend's cheek.
Some of the football team hollers while others recoil with disgust.
Hayden couldn't care about the select few homophobes, though. He tosses Vincent a smug wink and says, "You're welcome."
Vincent just chuckles with a playful shake of his head before lightly shoving Hayden off of him.
Hayden looks at the circle of football players with kissy lips and laughs, "Who's next?"
When Hayden starts advancing toward the rest of the team, they all disperse and scramble away from the humorous boy with no shame.
The situation concerning Hayden's lips is easily broken up when Lucas turns his attention to Rowan.
"How many times have you kissed your girl?" Lucas smirks. "I'm sure you are doing much more than kissing by this point."
Rowan is taken aback by the statement. He thinks before responding with, "I like to treat my girlfriend with something known as respect, and I know what things should be kept private. I don't kiss and tell."
That silences the room in a matter of seconds.
Nobody really dares to stand up to the crude Lucas Reed, but Rowan is a genuinely good person. He has always been Leo, Sawyer, Vincent, and Hayden's biggest upperclassmen mentor. Day by day, they love seeing Rowan take none of Lucas's bullshit, and the confidence is starting to rub off on Leo.
"I think you just got burned, Reed," Vincent smirks haughtily.
"Yeah? Whatever," he scoffs. "That's just an excuse to be lame."
"Anyways, moving on," another upperclassman says. "Never have I ever gone streaking."
Hayden happily puts a finger down, oozing self-satisfaction.
"What has this idiot not done?" Felix says playfully.
"Nothing," Hayden laughs gleefully, like a wealthy queen.
"Fine," Mason grins. "Never have I ever been sane."
Hayden instantly puts a finger down, but Vincent lifts it right back up for him.
Hayden looks at him with betrayal and Vincent smiles innocently.
"Never have I ever had nine girlfriends," Leo smirks.
Hayden happily puts another finger down before realizing that statement was definitely targeting him.
"Oh, screw you, Lee Bee!"
"How the fuck have you had nine girlfriends?" Mason says in outrage.
Hayden opens his mouth but Vincent cuts him off.
"Easy," Vincent shrugs. "He's a manwhore."
Hayden gasps like he has been shot in the chest.
"Am not!"
"Is 'player' better?" Vincent teases.
"I'll have you all know that I have never cheated on anyone," Hayden huffs, putting a finger back up for each point he makes. "I have never talked to multiple girls at the same time. I have never been anything less than a gentleman. You guys are all jealous because I love with my whole heart and I'm desirable as fuck." He crosses his arms to make his point.
"Yeah, but you've definitely had two different girlfriends in one week," Vincent retorts.
"Vinny!" Hayden screams. "Who's side are you on?!"
"Kidding, kidding," Vincent chuckles before saying, "Never have I ever shown up to someone's house with only underwear on for their parents to open the door."
"Vincent Arden Russell!"
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It is now almost past midnight and most of the team is still at Hayden's house. Hayden is in no rush to kick everyone out, though. He loves the company, and when everyone leaves, he will sadly be painted in isolation once again.
While everyone is wordlessly watching a movie, Hayden quietly slips outside. The moon hangs over his head as he sits on his porch steps, deeply thinking to himself.
Vincent notices his missing friend and immediately walks to the back door. He makes eye contact with Sawyer and Leo, who wonder if they should come too but Vincent shakes his head as if saying I got it. He sneaks outside
Hayden doesn't know of Vincent's presence until he sits beside him, handing him a can of soda. He nods with gratitude before looking into the distance once again.
"Why were you so down earlier?" Vincent starts.
"A combination of things," Hayden sighs.
"Like?"
That's something that Hayden loves about Vincent. Vincent is always straight to the point. Vincent says what's on his mind, but doesn't come off as rash like Hayden does because he is normally quite calculated.
If Hayden didn't want to talk about it, Vincent wouldn't force him to, but he opens the conversation up for further discussion, and that's what Hayden appreciates the most.
"Stuff with my dad," Hayden answers. "...And me and Beth ended things."
"Hm." Vincent hums. "You've never been torn up over a girl before, though. What's changed?"
"I told her I loved her and this whole time she just wanted to use me to get to Sawyer."
"Hayden?"
"Yeah?"
"It's been like two weeks," Vincent chuckles. "How could you love her after, like, three dates?"
Hayden scrunches his eyebrows up in thought. "You got me there, Vinny. Hm...what does love actually feel like now that I think about it?"
Vincent lets out a loud laugh. "You're asking the wrong person."
Hayden shrugs, "I don't know why it hurt me so badly. I mean, I know Sawyer is a fine man...and Leo's pretty handsome...and you're kind of hot too, but why am I always the last choice? Do you...never mind."
"What?" Vincent urges gently.
"Do you ever wish you were someone else?" Hayden says quietly, almost shamefully.
"Nah," Vincent says shortly.
When Hayden doesn't reply, Vincent carefully looks at his friend, who looks like he wants to fold in on himself.
"Hayden."
"F-Forget I said anything," Hayden flusters, trying to stand up.
Vincent grabs his wrist. "Sit your ass down."
Hayden easily follows his instructions but doesn't make eye contact with him.
Vincent then softly says, "Why would you want to be someone else?"
"Vinny, I really don't want to talk about it anymore," Hayden whispers.
"That's fair," Vincent shrugs. "Can I say what's on my mind, though?"
"Since when do you ask?" Hayden deadpans.
Vincent rolls his eyes before saying, "I hardly ever know where your head is at. I think you have a tiny dash of mental insanity in you, god knows where your lips have been, and you have a fuck-ton of stupid momentsâ"
"Hey."
"âbut I would definitely never change any of that," Vincent finishes.
"Huh?"
"You drive me fucking crazy sometimes because you have way too much energy and never think about a single thing that comes out of your mouth, but that's what makes you, you. I don't really understand why you try so hard to be noticed or get attention or whatever, but I'm not going to judge you. Hayden, I know that most of the time it looks like I want to punch you in the face, but you really are my best friend. You are funny as hell, even when you aren't forcing this persona that you've made up. If I were to guessâand you can correct me if I'm wrongâbut I think you are still scared that you are going to face the same judgment you did in middle school. If I could, I would give you the confidence to be yourself so that I can get you to see yourself the way I see you."
Hayden needed to hear thatâhe really did. All this time, all these years, he has always looked up to Vincent as someone he has wanted to be. He doesn't need to be someone else; he just needs to learn how to unapologetically be himself, and if his one person accepts him for who he is, then that means the world.
So many things have tried to separate the two in their four-year friendshipâstrict parents, rising popularity, societal pressuresâbut none of that matters, nor will it matter in the future because the two friends may just be the greatest complements.
"Wow," Hayden says in disbelief. "I think if you were a girl, that might've just made me swoon."
"Shut up," Vincent laughs, standing up. He holds his hand out.
Hayden sees his opportunity and immediately takes it. He accepts Vincent's help but uses it as a momentary distraction so he can lash forward and wrap Vincent in a hug.
"Ew, get the fuck off me," Vincent grimaces, trying to get Hayden off of him.
Hayden, however, is using his iron death grip to keep embracing his grouchy friend.
"Hayden, I'm being serious."
"But I love you, Vinny!" Hayden exclaims.
"And I don't," Vincent scoffs. "Let go...now."
"Nope."
Vincent curses under his breath before trudging toward the door, dragging a big doofus along.
"Someone get this idiot off me," Vincent announces once he makes it to the living room.
"If anyone touches me, I will steal your girl," Hayden grins, hugging Vincent tighter.
"Hayden, I swear to fucâ"
"Shush, Vinny. You are interrupting the movie," Hayden reprimands, slapping his chest.
Vincent grumpily takes the open spot on the couch. Not a single person looks at the pair weirdly because honestly, this is quite normal; Hayden being overly affectionate to the affection-hating Vincent.
Nevertheless, just like all things concerning Hayden Williams, Vincent eventually gives in.
Although he doesn't want Hayden to see it, a tiny smile graces his face as he relaxes on the couch. Vincent knows he'd sacrifice anything for this dumbass boy who invaded his life (and personal space), even if that means creating further tension with his parents.
Hayden also has a little smile on his face as his arms are sweetly hugging Vincent. Hayden doesn't know why, but he feels such a strong connection to his best friendâthe same person who has accepted him with open arms and bailed him out of so many situations.
Hayden notices his heart beating a little faster, but his mind doesn't know why quite yet.
Little does he know that there is much self-discovery to be made in the following years.
Author's Note~~~~
No, Lucas isn't coming back:)