Chapter 12: Two truths, one lie

Chapter 12

"I noticed you don't talk about Timmy's mother." I commented when he'd taken his last sip of orange juice and he shrugged.

"Aint nothing to talk about."

I watched him twirl the ice around and around in his glass. "What was she like?"

Another shrug. "I don't know...loud I guess."

"Were you two close?"

"No I hardly even knew her."

I continued to watch him, taking in the bruises on his neck, the slight crease of his brow and his small frown as he twirled the melting ice. It was clear he wasn't interested in talking about her, but then he was never really interested in talking about anything, so I kept the questions going.

"You two had a kid together, there must be something you can tell me."

"Why does it matter?" he was glaring at me now, his mouth turned down into a frown and I looked him dead in the eyes.

"Is it a crime that I just want to learn more about you?"

He shrugged before setting the glass on the counter. "You should know, you're the cop."

I smiled despite myself and reached over to pull on a strand of his hair. This time when he looked at me, it was with that same shy smile I'd long ago grown accustomed to.

"At one point, she lived on the street." He began softly and I watched him as he knotted his hands together on the counter, his gaze having already gone back to his glass. "I helped her get away from this asshole once and we were friends for a while."

"So you were close." I surmised and once again he shrugged.

"She was cool and tough and loud." He continued "But she was my friend."

"Did you love her?"

He glanced up at me then with a small frown. "You wanna know how come I had a kid with her if I like men right?"

"No, not at all...I'm just—"

"We got drunk... I hardly remember that night. She wasn't really excited about having a kid though. When Timmy was born she..." he trailed off. "Now she's dead and I don't like to think about her."

"I'm sorry for your loss."

Another shrug.

"What will you tell Timmy?"

"What do you mean?" his brows were creased in confusion as he watched me and when he reached over to fidget with the glass again, I took it up and placed it into the sink.

"He'll ask about her when he's older. What will you tell him?"

"The truth." Was all he said and when I handed him the bag of ice he set it against his neck once more.

He looked depressed now I thought and I felt a twinge of regret for bringing her up, but he never talked unless I hammered it out of him.

"That's good... he should know."

He nodded and while I watched him I asked the question I probably shouldn't broach...especially not so soon. "And what will you tell him when he asks why he has two fathers?"

He looked up at me, the shock clear on his face and his brows furrowed. "Who says he's gonna have two fathers?"

This time it was my turn to shrug and when I did, his eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Well it's no secret you're gay...one day if you do decide to get into a permanent relationship with someone, it'll be a guy right?"

Slowly, his brows smoothed and soon he was nodding slowly. All suspicion and surprise was wiped clean from his face and in its place lay uncertainty. "I guess."

"How would you explain it to him?"

He returned the ice bag to the bowl and rotated his neck, wincing a little when I reached over to touch the bruise.

"I'd tell him I'm gay and that it's okay to have two dads because shit like that just doesn't matter. How you feel is what matters..." he trailed off, then lifted his eyes to mine and I could see the well of emotion in them as he looked at me. "Right?" he questioned, for once looking for my approval and I nodded.

"Exactly."

"What would you tell him... I mean if you had a kid...what would you say?"

I smiled. "I wouldn't have to say anything...I think you'd have it covered."

This time he became so flushed that even his ears turned red and when he propped his elbows on the counter and dropped his face into his hands I couldn't help but laugh.

"Relax Jace."

"You can't say stuff like that." he mumbled and I pulled on one of his curls.

"Why not?"

"Because...you just can't" he argued and this time when I chuckled, he moved his hands away from his face and looked over at me with a small frown.

"I won't beat around the bush...you know that." I said just as Timmy came running into the room.

"Hey slow down babe, what's wrong?" I questioned when he came to a stop by Jason's legs and pulled at his father's pants.

"What's wrong?" Jason asked him and Timmy turned and pointed in the direction he'd just come.

"A pider haf bunny daddy." He complained and when Jason made a move to get up I waved him back down.

"Keep icing your thumb." I told him and Tommy grabbed hold of my fingers when I meant to walk past him and into the family room.

"Where's the spider?"

"Haf bunny." He said miserably.

"You wanna tell me that in a full sentence?" I asked him and he shook his head.

"No." and pointed in to direction of the TV where Bunny lay on his back with a daddy long legs perched on his ear.

"This one won't hurt you though Timmy. He's harmless see?" I bent to enclose the arachnid in my palm and as soon as I showed it to him, he pulled away from me and stepped back.

"Don't do that. You'll make him think all spiders are safe and he'll go get himself bit." Jason announced from the door way.

I glanced down at the thing, walking across my palm, then at Timmy. "You're right." I submitted, before moving across the room to open a window to throw the spider out.

When I tried to hand bunny to Timmy; without touching it, he inspected the stuffed toy carefully, before finally reaching over and taking it from me. Afterwards it was as though we weren't even there. He ran to the couch with bunny wrapped in his arms and climbed up. When he turned his attention to the TV, not another sound came from his lips.

"Shouldn't you be taking care of the mess you made of yourself." I questioned Jason and he none too politely gave me the finger before he turned away and reentered the kitchen.

"I think I can manage now. I'm gonna get back to work." He told me as he went.

"You can do it tomorrow, the patio isn't going anywhere."

He shrugged. "But still, I wanna get it done. The day's just wasting and—"

"It can wait." I told him. "Sit, I'd like to talk to you for once."

He watched me as I went to retake my seat around the counter, then with a sigh, he sat. "We talk all the time."

I pushed the bowl back to him and he dipped his hand in. "You mean all the times when I talk and you just grunt in answer? Yeah I don't think so."

He shrugged. "I'm not good at talking."

"Practice makes perfect."

"Hmmm." He issued.

"Why don't you like talking? Why are you so against it?"

He raised his injured thumb out of the melting ice and inspected it. "I always say the wrong things."

"Nobody's judging you Jason. You can say whatever you want."

"Uhuh."

He was stubborn...sometimes to the point where I wanted to reach out an shake him and other times, like now when I just wanted to kiss his pouting lips.

"Alright, let's play a game."

He glanced up at me then, clearly intrigued. "It's called two truths, one lie."

"Okay." This time he abandoned all pretense of interest in the bowl and gave me his undivided attention.

"Essentially, we'll each tell two truths about ourselves and one lie and the other person will have to guess which one's the lie."

"And then what?"

"Then nothing...if you can guess the lie, you've won the round."

"Okay." He smiled. "You first."

"Alright... One: when I was twelve, I was banned from the local zoo because I let some monkeys out of their cages." He grinned at that one. "Two: I wrote a book that I never published." I continued. "Three: My favorite color is red."

He grinned. "This is easy...The lie is number one."

I laughed. "Nope...That actually happened and my dad almost killed me for it. The lie is number three. I don't have a favorite color."

"Wow, that's...you were a wild kid huh?"

"At the time I thought the monkeys looked miserable. I wanted them to be happy and the zoo keepers were negligent anyway...that particular cage wasn't chained."

"So you wrote a book. What kind?"

I shook my head. Only Jason would hear that I'd freed monkeys from a zoo and be more interested in the story of the book I wrote.

"Mystery." I told him. "I wrote it back in college. I still have it so you can read it if you want, but I can't guarantee it's any good."

"I bet it is. I definitely want to read it."

His excitement was contagious. "Then I'll give it to you later...I think it's your turn."

He nodded. "I can't even think of anything." He said and when I raised a brow, he rolled his eyes. "Okay okay... One: I went on a plane once." He began and paused for a moment to think of the next one. By the time I guessed he'd come up with it, he was as red as a tomato. "Two: I liked kissing you last night." He said shyly and it made my day. "And three: I'm really sorry about the hickey."

I could only imagine how ridiculous I looked sitting there with a grin on my face. "The lie is number one." I said with certainty and he nodded.

"We'll sort out your and Timmy's passports and I'll take you to the Caribbean this summer." I promised and I ignored his shaking head. "I think it's my turn."

"One: I liked kissing you too and I'd like to do it again." He bit his lip. "I'm sorry about the way I reacted last night. I had no right." I continued. "And three... I don't think I'm falling in love with you and your son."

He had looked away from me and was shaking his head. "I don't know which one's the lie."

"You do."

"No...I... it could be anyone of them."

"Then I'll tell you." I said seriously, then remained silent until he had no choice but to look at me. "I really did enjoy kissing you and yes I do want to do it again and again." I said. "Look at me Jason." I told him when he glanced away again and when he did, I continued. "I really am sorry about how I reacted and I—"

"Okay." He held up his hands. "I get it...I know which one's the lie, you don't have to say it."

I took hold of his good hand and he looked down at them. "I'll tell you anyway...just so we're clear." I said. "I lied when I said I don't think I'm in love. The truth is, I haven't known either of you very long, but you and Timmy mean everything to me. I can't help it and whether or not you want to hear it, it's the truth. I love you...both of you."

When I'd gotten out of bed this morning I didn't think those words would have come out of my mouth, but now that I'd said them, the more certain I was of what I was feeling. My mom was right. It didn't matter how long you'd known a person, or how well you got along; a feeling was a feeling and if you felt it then it must be real.

I watched him continue to stare at our joined hands. I couldn't read his expression, but when I squeezed his to get his attention, he finally looked up at me and I was surprised at how miserable he looked.

"You shouldn't say stuff like that to me."

I didn't understand. "I shouldn't tell you that I care about you? That I care about Timmy?" I questioned and he only shook his head...his obvious misery throwing me for a loop. "Why not?"

He shrugged.

"No Jason, really...why not? If it's because you don't feel the same way, it's okay, it doesn't matter. Trust me, I know I'm moving too fast, but I can wait for as long as I have to."

"You'll make me get comfortable. You'll make us get happy and then one day you'll change your mind." He accused, this time with a frown and I wondered if the surprise was evident in my expression.

"It doesn't work that way Jace...when you're in love—"

"Don't be stupid Michael, you aint in love, you only think you are, but you're not."

It surprised me just how pissed his words made me. "Don't tell me what I feel."

He pulled his hand from mine and stood. "I'm going to go work on the patio." He said simply.

"Would you just forget about the damn patio?" when I realized I'd raised my voice I sought to moderate my tone. "I just told you something I've never said to anyone in my life and your response is that you need to work?"

"Because you don't know what you're saying."

I gritted my teeth, glaring at him as he glared at me. "You don't know what I'm feeling."

"That's your problem Michael... you think you know everything, but you really don't. You don't understand—"

"Fine, I don't love you!"

He winced, "I know." he said softly and I felt like hitting something.

"Why can you believe the lie and not the truth? Why is this so hard for you?"

When he shook his head and moved away from the counter, with every intention to go through the back door I blocked his path.

"Because it'll hurt when you change your mind!" he shouted and I did the only thing I could; I grabbed him, pulled him towards me and kissed him.

There was no gentleness as there had been the night before. Instead it was rough and demanding and for a moment he struggled to free himself, but just as quickly he went limp in my arms and his hands twisted in my shirt as he held on tight, and he was giving as good as he got.

"Daddy?"

He shoved me away from him when we heard Timmy's small voice and when I glanced toward the doorway, there he stood, Bunny, under one arm and the remote control in another.

Jason, ran a hand through his hair and took a breath. "Yeah babe?" he questioned breathlessly.

"Timmy haf Ice-cweam."

It was just too bad I didn't have the mindset to congratulate him on his progress.

"No, you already had ice-cream today. You want a snack instead?"

Timmy shook his head.

"Then go watch TV okay? I'll come play with you later."

"No daddy, ice-cweam." He demanded.

"And I said no. So stop asking." His voice was firm and when he realized it, he tried a softer tone. "You can get ice-cream later okay?"

And it seemed to appease Timmy, who nodded, but continued to watch us.

When Jason turned and made to walk past me again, I grabbed hold of his arm.

"We're not done talking." I said quietly and when he pulled I let him go.

"You can say it a million times and I still won't believe you."

His words cut, I'd give him that. "Then I won't say it again...but spend the night with me and I'll show you."

His eyes met mine and he blushed despite the fact that he was upset.

"That aint the same thing."

"No it isn't...but I want you too." I said, too low for little Timmy to hear.

He looked at Timmy, then looked at me and shook his head.

"Just a few minutes ago, you told me you like kissing me."

"Yeah, but that was before." he hissed.

"Before what? Before I told you how I felt?"

"Before you told me how you think you feel."

I took a breath. There seemed to be no point in arguing with him. "Well the invitation is still open, you know where to find my room." I said simply, before releasing him.

"Doesn't matter... I aint coming."

.................................................

Late that night I lay in bed, my gaze fixed on the ceiling, when my door creaked open and there he stood. Looking uncertain and out of place, his face flushed in the soft lamp light and his bottom lip trapped between his teeth as he waited for an invitation.

I lay there, an arm folded behind my head and the covers loose at my waist. When he caught my eyes his blush deepened and when I beckoned him in, he stepped hesitantly into the room, closing the door softly behind him.

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-DoUbLe.A

-unedited.