Fifty Shades of Grey: Chapter 15
Fifty Shades of Grey (Fifty Shades, Book 1)
âHi.â I feel unbearably shy when I open the door. Christian is standing on the porch in his jeans and leather jacket.
âHi,â he says, and his face lights up with his radiant smile. I take a moment to admire the pretty. Oh my, heâs hot in leather.
âCome in.â
âIf I may,â he says amused. He holds up a bottle of champagne as he walks in. âI thought weâd celebrate your graduation. Nothing beats a good Bollinger.â
âInteresting choice of words,â I comment dryly.
He grins.
âOh, I like your ready wit, Anastasia.â
âWe only have teacups. Weâve packed all the glasses.â
âTeacups? Sounds good to me.â
I head into the kitchen. Nervous, butterflies flooding my stomach, itâs like having a panther or mountain lion all unpredictable and predatory in my living room.
âDo you want saucers as well?â
âTeacups will be fine, Anastasia,â Christian calls distractedly from the living room.
When I return, heâs staring at the brown parcel of books. I place the cups on the table.
âThatâs for you,â I murmur anxiously.
Crap⦠this is probably going to be a fight.
âHmm, I figured as much. Very apt quote.â His long index finger absently traces the writing. âI thought I was DâUrberville, not Angel. You decided on the debasement.â He gives me a brief wolfish smile. âTrust you to find something that resonates so appropriately.â
âItâs also a plea,â I whisper. Why am I so nervous? My mouth is dry.
âA plea? For me to go easy on you?â
I nod.
âI bought these for you,â he says quietly his gaze impassive. âIâll go easier on you if you accept them.â
I swallow convulsively.
âChristian, I canât accept them, theyâre just too much.â
âYou see, this is what I was talking about, you defying me. I want you to have them, and thatâs the end of the discussion. Itâs very simple. You donât have to think about this.
As a submissive you would just be grateful for them. You just accept what I buy you because it pleases me for you to do so.â
âI wasnât a submissive when you bought them for me,â I whisper.
âNo⦠but youâve agreed, Anastasia.â His eyes turn wary.
I sigh. I am not going to win this, so over to plan B.
âSo they are mine to do with as I wish?â
He eyes me suspiciously, but concedes.
âYes.â
âIn that case, Iâd like to give them to a charity, one working in Darfur since that seems to be close to your heart. They can auction them.â
âIf thatâs what you want to do.â His mouth sets into a hard line. Heâs disappointed.
I flush.
âIâll think about it,â I murmur, I donât want to disappoint him, and his words come back to me. I want you to want to please me.
âDonât think, Anastasia. Not about this.â His tone is quiet and serious.
How can I not think? You can pretend to be a car, like his other possessions, my subconscious makes an unwelcome vitriolic return. I ignore her. Oh, canât we rewind? The atmosphere between us is now tense. I donât know what to do. I stare down at my fingers.
How do I retrieve this situation?
He puts the champagne bottle on the table and stands in front of me. Putting his hand under my chin, he tilts my head up. He gazes down at me, his expression grave.
âI will buy you lots of things, Anastasia. Get used to it. I can afford it. Iâm a very wealthy man.â He leans down and plants a swift, chaste kiss on my lips. âPlease.â He releases me.
âHoâ my subconscious mouths at me.
âIt makes me feel cheap,â I murmur.
Christian runs his hand through his hair, exasperated.
âIt shouldnât. Youâre over-thinking it, Anastasia. Donât place some vague moral judgment on yourself based on what others might think. Donât waste your energy. Itâs only because you have reservations about our arrangement, thatâs perfectly natural. You donât know what youâre getting yourself into.â
I frown, trying to process his words.
âHey, stop this,â he commands softly, cupping my chin again and pulling at it gently so I release my lower lip from my teeth. âThere is nothing about you that is cheap, Anastasia.
I wonât have you thinking that. I just bought you some old books that I thought might mean something to you, thatâs all. Have some champagne.â His eyes warm and soften, and I smile tentatively back up at him. âThatâs better,â he murmurs. He picks up the champagne, takes off the foil top and cage, twists the bottle rather than the cork, and opens it with a small pop and a practiced flourish that doesnât spill a drop. He half fills the cups.
âItâs pink,â I murmur, surprised.
âBollinger Grande Année Rosé 1999, an excellent vintage,â he says with relish.
âIn teacups.â
He grins.
âIn teacups. Congratulations on your degree, Anastasia.â We clink cups, and he takes a drink, but I canât help thinking this is really about my capitulation.
âThank you,â I murmur and take a sip. Of course itâs delicious. âShall we go through the soft limits?â
He smiles, and I blush.
âAlways so eager.â Christian takes my hand and leads me to the couch where he sits and tugs me down beside him.
âYouâre stepfatherâs a very taciturn man.â
Oh⦠not soft limits then. I just want to get this out of the way; the anxiety is gnawing at me.
âYou managed to have him eating out of your hand.â I pout.
Christian laughs softly.
âOnly because I know how to fish.â
âHow do you know he liked fishing?â
âYou told me. When we went for coffee.â
âOh⦠did I?â I take another sip. Wow he has a memory for detail. Hmm⦠this champagne really is very good. âDid you try the wine at the reception?â
Christian makes a face.
âYes. It was foul.â
âI thought of you when I tasted it. How did you get to be so knowledgeable about wine?â
âIâm not knowledgeable, Anastasia, I just know what I like.â His gray eyes shine, almost silver, and it makes me flush. âSome more?â he asks, referring to the champagne.
âPlease.â
Christian rises gracefully and collects the bottle. He fills my cup. Is he getting me tipsy? I eye him suspiciously.
âThis place looks pretty bare, are you ready for the move?â
âMore or less.â
âAre you working tomorrow?â
âYes, my last day at Claytonâsâ
âIâd help you move, but I promised to meet my sister at the airport.â
Oh⦠this is news.
âMia arrives from Paris very early Saturday morning. Iâm heading back to Seattle tomorrow, but I hear Elliot is giving you two a hand.â
âYes, Kate is very excited about that.â
Christian frowns.
âYes, Kate and Elliot, who would have thought?â he murmurs, and for some reason, he doesnât look pleased.
âSo what are you doing about work in Seattle?â
When are we going to talk about the limits? Whatâs his game?
âI have a couple of interviews for intern places.â
âYou were going tell me this when?â He arches a brow.
âErr⦠Iâm telling you now.â
He narrows his eyes.
âWhere?â
For some reason, possibly because he might use his influence, I donât want to tell him.
âA couple of publishing houses.â
âIs that what you want to do, something in publishing?â
I nod warily.
âWell?â He looks at me patiently wanting more information.
âWell what?â
âDonât be obtuse, Anastasia, which publishing houses?â he scolds.
âJust small ones,â I murmur.
âWhy donât you want me to know?â
âUndue influence.â
He frowns.
âOh, now youâre being obtuse.â
He laughs.
âObtuse? Me? God, youâre challenging. Drink up, letâs talk about these limits.â He fishes out another copy of my email and the list. Does he wander about with these lists in his pockets? I think thereâs one in his jacket that I have. Shit, Iâd better not forget that. I drain my cup.
He glances quickly at me.
âMore?â
âPlease.â
He smiles that oh-so-smug-private smile of his, holds the champagne bottle up, and pauses.
âHave you eaten anything?â
Oh no⦠not this old chestnut.
âYes. I had a three course meal with Ray.â I roll my eyes at him. The champagne is making me bold.
He leans forward and holds my chin, staring intently into my eyes.
âNext time you roll your eyes at me, I will take you across my knee.â
What?!
âOh,â I breathe, and I can see the excitement in his eyes.
âOh,â he responds, mirroring my tone. âSo it begins, Anastasia.â
My heart slams against my chest, and the butterflies escape from my stomach into my constricting throat. Why is that hot?
He fills my cup, and I drink practically all of it. Chastened, I stare up at him.
âGot your attention now, havenât I?â
I nod.
âAnswer me.â
âYes⦠youâve got my attention.â
âGood,â he smiles a knowing smile. âSo sexual acts. Weâve done most of this.â
I move closer to him on the couch and glance down at the list.
To be discussed and agreed between both parties:
Which of the following sexual acts are acceptable to the Submissive?
⢠Masturbation ⢠Fellatio ⢠Cunnilingus ⢠Vaginal intercourse ⢠Vaginal fisting ⢠Anal intercourse ⢠Anal fisting âNo fisting, you say. Anything else you object to?â he asks softly.
I swallow.
âAnal intercourse doesnât exactly float my boat.â
âIâll agree to the fisting, but Iâd really like to claim your ass, Anastasia. But weâll wait for that. Besides, itâs not something we can dive into,â he smirks at me. âYour ass will need training.â
âTraining?â I whisper.
âOh yes. Itâll need careful preparation. Anal intercourse can be very pleasurable, trust me. But if we try it and you donât like it, we donât have to do it again.â He grins down at me. I blink up at him. He thinks Iâll enjoy it? How does he know itâs pleasurable?
âHave you done that?â I whisper.
âYes.â
Holy crap. I gasp.
âWith a man?â
âNo. Iâve never had sex with a man. Not my scene.â
âMrs. Robinson?â
âYes.â
Holy shit⦠how? I frown. He moves on down the list.
âOkay⦠swallowing semen. Well, you get an A in that.â
I flush, and my inner goddess smacks her lips together glowing with pride.
âSo.â He looks down at me grinning. âSwallowing semen okay?â
I nod, not able to look him in the eye, and drain my cup again.
âMore?â he asks.
âMore.â And Iâm suddenly reminded of our conversation earlier today as he refills my cup. Is he referring to that or just the champagne? Is this whole champagne thing more?
âSex toys?â he asks.
I shrug, glancing down the list.
Is the use of sex toys acceptable to the Submissive?
⢠Vibrators ⢠Dildos ⢠Butt Plugs ⢠Other âButt plug? Does it do what it says on the tin?â I scrunch my nose up in distaste.
âYes,â he smiles. âAnd I refer to anal intercourse above. Training.â
âOh⦠whatâs in other?â
âBeads, eggs⦠that sort of stuff.â
âEggs?â Iâm alarmed.
âNot real eggs,â he laughs loudly, shaking his head.
I purse my lips at him.
âIâm glad you find me funny.â I canât keep my injured feelings out of my voice.
He stops laughing.
âI apologize. Miss Steele, Iâm sorry,â he says, trying to look contrite, but his eyes are still dancing with humor. âAny problem with toys?â
âNo,â I snap.
âAnastasia,â he cajoles. âI am sorry. Believe me. I donât mean to laugh. Iâve never had this conversation in so much detail. Youâre just so inexperienced. Iâm sorry.â His eyes are big and gray and sincere.
I thaw a little and take another sip of champagne.
âRight â bondage,â he says, returning to the list. I examine the list, and my inner goddess bounces up and down like a small child waiting for ice cream.
Is Bondage acceptable to the Submissive?
⢠Hands in front ⢠Hands behind back ⢠Ankles ⢠Knees ⢠Elbows ⢠Wrists to ankles ⢠Spreader bars ⢠Tied to furniture ⢠Blindfolding ⢠Gagging ⢠Bondage with Rope ⢠Bondage with Tape ⢠Bondage with leather cuffs ⢠Suspension ⢠Bondage with handcuffs/metal restraints âWeâve talked about suspension. And itâs fine if you want to set that up as a hard limit. It takes a great deal of time, and I only have you for short periods of time anyway.
Anything else?â
âDonât laugh at me, but whatâs a spreader bar?â
âI promise not to laugh. Iâve apologized twice.â He glares at me. âDonât make me do it again,â he warns. And I think I visibly shrink⦠oh, heâs so bossy. âA spreader is a bar with cuffs for ankles and/or wrists. Theyâre fun.â
âOkay⦠Well gagging me. Iâd be worried I wouldnât be able to breatheâ
âIâd be worried if you couldnât breathe. I donât want to suffocate you.â
âAnd how will I use safe words if Iâm gagged?â
He pauses.
âFirst of all, I hope you never have to use them. But if youâre gagged, weâll use hand signals,â he says simply.
I blink up at him. But if Iâm trussed up, howâs that going to work? My brain is beginning to fogâ¦Â hmm alcohol.
âIâm nervous about the gagging.â
âOkay. Iâll take note.â
I stare up at him, realization dawning.
âDo you like tying your submissives up so they canât touch you?â
He gazes at me, his eyes widening.
âThatâs one of the reasons,â he says quietly.
âIs that why youâve tied my hands?â
âYes.â
âYou donât like talking about that,â I murmur.
âNo, I donât. Would you like another drink? Itâs making you brave, and I need to know how you feel about pain.â
Holy crap⦠this is the tricky part. He refills my teacup, and I sip.
âSo, whatâs your general attitude to receiving pain?â Christian looks expectantly at me.
âYouâre biting your lip,â he says darkly.
I stop immediately, but I donât know what to say. I flush and stare down at my hands.
âWere you physically punished as a child?â
âNo.â
âSo you have no sphere of reference at all?â
âNo.â
âItâs not as bad as you think. Your imagination is your worst enemy in this,â he whispers.
âDo you have to do it?â
âYes.â
âWhy?â
âGoes with the territory, Anastasia. Itâs what I do. I can see youâre nervous. Letâs go through methods.â
He shows me the list. My subconscious runs, screaming, and hides behind the couch.
⢠Spanking ⢠Paddling ⢠Whipping ⢠Caning ⢠Biting ⢠Nipple clamps ⢠Genital clamps ⢠Ice ⢠Hot wax ⢠Other types/methods of pain âWell, you said no to genital clamps. Thatâs fine. Itâs caning that hurts the most.â
I blanch.
âWe can work up to that.â
âOr not do it at all,â I whisper.
âThis is part of the deal, baby, but weâll work up to all of this. Anastasia, I wonât push you too far.â
âThis punishment thing, it worries me the most.â My voice is very small.
âWell, Iâm glad youâve told me. Weâll keep caning off the list for now. And as you get more comfortable with this stuff, weâll increase intensity. Weâll take it slow.â
I swallow, and he leans forward and kisses me on my lips.
âThere, that wasnât so bad was it?â
I shrug, my heart in mouth again.
âLook, I want to talk about one more thing, then Iâm taking you to bed.â
âBed?â I blink rapidly, and my blood pounds round my body, warming places I didnât know existed until very recently.
âCome on, Anastasia, talking through all this, I want to fuck you into next week, right now. It must be having some effect on you too.â
I squirm. My inner goddess is panting.
âSee? Beside, thereâs something I want to try.â
âSomething painful?â
âNo â stop seeing pain everywhere. Itâs mainly pleasure. Have I hurt you yet?â
I flush.
âNo.â
âWell then. Look, earlier today you were talking about wanting more,â he halts, uncertain all of a sudden.
Oh my⦠whereâs this going?
He clasps my hand.
âOutside of the time youâre my sub, perhaps we could try. I donât know if it will work.
I donât know about separating everything. It may not work. But Iâm willing to try. Maybe one night a week. I donât know.â
Holy cow⦠my mouth drops open, my subconscious is in shock, Christian Grey is up for more! Heâs willing to try! My subconscious peeks out from behind the couch, still registering shock on her harpy face.
âI have one condition.â He looks warily at my stunned expression.
âWhat?â I breathe. Anything. Iâll give you anything.
âYou graciously accept my graduation present to you.â
âOh.â And deep down I know what it is. Dread spawns in my belly.
Heâs staring down at me, gauging my reaction.
âCome,â he murmurs and rises, dragging me up. Taking his jacket off, he drapes it over my shoulders and heads for the door.
Parked outside is a red hatchback car, a two-door compact Audi.
âItâs for you. Happy graduation,â he murmurs, pulling me into his arms and kissing my hair.
Heâs bought me a damned car, brand new by the looks of it. Jeez⦠Iâve had enough trouble with the books. I stare at it blankly, trying desperately to determine how I feel about this. I am appalled on one level, grateful on another, shocked that heâs actually done it, but the overriding emotion is anger. Yes, Iâm angry, especially after everything I told him about the books⦠but then heâd already bought this. Taking my hand, he leads me down the path toward this new acquisition.
âAnastasia, that Beetle of yours is old and frankly dangerous. I would never forgive myself if something happened to you when itâs so easy for me to make it right,â he trails off. His eyes are on me, but at the moment I cannot bring myself to look at him. I stand silently staring at its awesome bright red newness.
âI mentioned it to your stepfather. He was all for it,â he murmurs.
Turning, I glare at him, my mouth open in horror.
âYou mentioned this to Ray. How could you?â I can barely spit the words out. How dare he? Poor Ray. I feel sick, mortified for my dad.
âItâs a gift, Anastasia. Canât you just say thank you?â
âBut you know itâs too much.â
âNot to me it isnât, not for my peace of mind.â
I frown at him, at a loss what to say. He just doesnât get it! Heâs had money all his life.
Okay, not all his life â not as a small child â and my world-view shifts. The thought is very sobering, and I soften towards the car, feeling guilty about my fit of pique. His intentions are good, misguided, but not from a bad place.
âIâm happy for you to loan this to me, like the laptop.â
He sighs heavily.
âOkay. On loan. Indefinitely.â He looks warily at me.
âNo, not indefinitely, but for now. Thank you.â
He frowns. I reach up and kiss him briefly on his cheek.
âThank you for the car, sir.â I say as sweetly as I can manage.
He grabs me suddenly and yanks me up against him, one hand at my back holding me to him and the other fisting in my hair.
âYou are one challenging woman, Ana Steele.â He kisses me passionately, forcing my lips apart with his tongue, taking no prisoners.
My blood heats immediately, and Iâm returning his kiss with my own passion. I want him badly â in spite of the car, the books, the soft limits⦠the caning⦠I want him.
âItâs taking all my self-control not to fuck you on the hood of this car right now, just to show you that you are mine, and if I want to buy you a fucking car, Iâll buy you a fucking car,â he growls. âNow letâs get you inside and naked.â He plants a swift rough kiss on me.
Boy, heâs angry. He grabs my hand and leads me back into the apartment and straight into my bedroom⦠no passing go. My subconscious is behind the sofa again, head hidden under her hands. He switches on the sidelight and halts, staring at me.
âPlease donât be angry with me,â I whisper.
His gaze is impassive; his gray eyes cold shards of smoky glass.
âIâm sorry about the car and the books,â I trail off. He remains silent and brooding.
âYou scare me when youâre angry,â I breathe, staring at him.
He closes his eyes and shakes his head. When he opens them, his expression has softened fractionally. He takes a deep breath and swallows.
âTurn round,â he whispers. âI want to get you out of that dress.â
Another mercurial mood swing, itâs so hard to keep up. Obediently, I turn and my heart is thumping, desire instantly replacing unease, coursing through my blood and settling dark and yearning low, low in my belly. He scoops my hair off my back so it hangs down my right side, curling at my breast. He places his index finger at the nape of my neck and achingly slowly drags it down my spine. His well-manicured fingernail gently grazes down my back.
âI like this dress,â he murmurs. âI like to see your flawless skin.â
His finger reaches the back of my halter dress midway down my spine, and hooking his finger beneath the top, he pulls me closer so that I step back against him. I feel him flush against my body. Leaning down, he inhales my hair.
âYou smell so good, Anastasia. So sweet.â His nose skims past my ear down my neck, and he trails soft, feather light kisses along my shoulder.
My breathing changes, becoming shallow, rushed, full of expectation. His fingers are at my zipper. Achingly slow, once more he eases it down while his lips move, licking and kissing and sucking their way across to my other shoulder. He is so tantalizingly good at this. My body resonates, and I start to squirm languidly beneath his touch.
âYou. Are. Going. To. Have. To. Learn. To. Keep. Still,â he whispers, kissing me around my nape between each word.
He tugs at the fastening at the halter neck, and the dress drops and pools at my feet.
âNo bra, Miss Steele. I like that.â
His hands reach round and cup my breasts, and my nipples pucker at his touch.
âLift your arms and put them around my head,â he murmurs against my neck.
I obey immediately, and my breasts rise and push into his hands, my nipples hardening further. My fingers weave into his hair, and very gently I tug his soft, sexy hair. I roll my head to one side to give him easier access to my neck.
âMmm⦠â he murmurs into that space behind my ear, as he starts to extend my nipples with his long fingers, mirroring my hands in his hair.
I groan as the sensation registers sharp and clear in my groin.
âShall I make you come this way?â he whispers.
I arch my back to force my breasts into his expert hands.
âYou like this, donât you, Miss Steele?â
âMmm⦠â
âTell me.â He continues the slow sensuous torture, pulling gently.
âYes.â
âYes, what.â
âYes⦠Sir.â
âGood girl.â He pinches me hard, and my body writhes convulsively against his front.
I gasp at the exquisite, acute, pleasure/pain. I feel him against me. I moan and my hands clench in his hair pulling harder.
âI donât think youâre ready to come yet,â he whispers, stilling his hands, and he gently bites my earlobe and tugs at it. âBesides, you have displeased me.â
Oh⦠no, what will this mean? My brain registers through the fog of needy desire as I groan.
âSo perhaps I wonât let you come after all.â He returns the attention of his fingers to my nipples, pulling, twisting, kneading. I grind my behind against him⦠moving side to side.
I feel his grin against my neck as his hands move down to my hips. His fingers hook into my panties at the back, stretching them, and he pushes his thumbs through the material, shredding them and tossing them in front of me so I can see ⦠holy shit. His hands move down to my sex⦠and from behind, he slowly inserts his finger.
âOh, yes. My sweet girl is all ready,â he breathes as he whirls me round so Iâm facing him. His breathing has quickened. He puts his finger in his mouth. âYou taste so fine, Miss Steele.â He sighs. âUndress me,â he commands quietly, staring down at me, eyes hooded.
All Iâm wearing is my shoes, well, Kateâs high-heeled pumps. Iâm taken aback. Iâve never undressed a man.
âYou can do it,â he cajoles softly.
Oh my. I blink rapidly. Where to start? I reach for his t-shirt, and he grabs my hands and shakes his head, smiling slyly at me.
âOh no.â He shakes his head, grinning. âNot the t-shirt, you may need to touch me for what I have planned.â His eyes are alive with excitement.
Oh⦠this is news⦠I can touch with clothes. He takes one of my hands and places it against his erection.
âThis is the effect you have on me, Miss Steele.â
I gasp and flex my fingers around his girth, and he grins.
âI want to be inside you. Take my jeans off. Youâre in charge.â
Holy fuck⦠me in charge. My mouth drops open.
âWhat are you going to do with me?â he teases.
Oh the possibilities⦠my inner goddess roars, and from somewhere born of frustration, need, and sheer Steele bravery, I push him on to the bed. He laughs as he falls, and I gaze down at him feeling victorious. My inner goddess is going to explode. I yank off his shoes, quickly, clumsily, and his socks. Heâs staring up at me, his eyes luminous with amusement and desire. He looks⦠gloriousâ¦Â mine. I crawl up the bed and sit astride him to undo his jeans, sliding my fingers under the waistband, feeling the hair in his oh so happy trail. He closes his eyes and flexes his hips.
âYouâll have to learn to keep still,â I scold, and I tug at the hair under his waistband.
His breath hitches, and he grins at me.
âYes, Miss Steele,â he murmurs, eyes burning bright. âIn my pocket, condom,â he breathes.
I search in his pocket slowly, watching his face as I feel around. His mouth is open. I fish out both foil packets that I find and lay them on the bed by his hips. Two! My over-eager fingers reach for the button of his waistband and undo it, fumbling a little. I am beyond excited.
âSo eager, Miss Steele,â he murmurs, his voice laced with humor. I tug down the zipper, and now Iâm faced with the problem of removing his pantsâ¦Â hmm. I shuffle down and pull. They hardly move. I frown. How can this be so difficult?
âI canât keep still if youâre going to bite that lip,â he warns, then arches his pelvis up off the bed so Iâm able to tug down his trousers and his boxers at the same time, whoaâ¦
freeing him. He kicks his clothes to the floor.
Holy Moses, heâs all mine to play with, and suddenly itâs Christmas.
âNow what are you going to do?â he breathes, all trace of humor gone. I reach up and touch him, watching his expression as I do. His mouth shapes like a letter O as he takes a sharp breath. His skin is so smooth and soft⦠and hard⦠hmm, what a delicious combination. I lean forward, my hair falling around me, and heâs in my mouth. I suck, hard. He closes his eyes, his hips jerking beneath me.
âJeez, Ana, steady,â he groans.
I feel so powerful, itâs such a heady feeling, teasing and testing him with my mouth and tongue. He tenses underneath me as I run my mouth up and down him, pushing him to the back of my throat, my lips tight⦠again and again.
âStop, Ana, stop. I donât want to come.â
I sit up, blinking at him, and Iâm panting like him, but confused. I thought I was in charge? My inner goddess looks like someone snatched her ice cream.
âYouâre innocence and enthusiasm is very disarming,â he gasps. âYou, on top⦠thatâs what we need to do.â
Oh.
âHere, put this on.â He hands me a foil packet.
Holy Crap. How? I rip the packet open, and the rubbery condom is all tacky in my fingers.
âPinch the top and then roll it down. You donât want any air in the end of that sucker,â
he pants.
And very slowly, concentrating hard, I do as Iâm told.
âChrist, youâre killing me here, Anastasia,â he groans.
I admire my handiwork and him. He really is a fine specimen of a man, looking at him is very, very arousing.
âNow. I want to be buried inside you,â he murmurs. I stare down at him, daunted, and he sits up suddenly, so weâre nose to nose.
âLike this,â he breathes, and he snakes one hand round my hips, lifting me slightly, and with the other he positions himself beneath me, and very slowly, eases me on to him.
I groan as he stretches me open, filling me, my mouth hanging open in surprise at the sweet, sublime, agonizing, over-full feeling. Oh⦠please.
âThatâs right, baby, feel me, all of me,â he growls and briefly closes his eyes.
And heâs inside me, sheathed to the hilt, and he holds me in place, for seconds⦠minutes⦠I have no idea,, staring intently into my eyes.
âItâs deep this way,â he murmurs. He flexes and swivels his hips in the same motion, and I groan⦠oh my â the sensation radiates throughout my belly⦠everywhere. Fuck!
âAgain,â I whisper. He grins a lazy grin and obliges.
Moaning, I throw my head back, my hair tumbling down my back, and very slowly, he sinks back down on to the bed.
âYou move, Anastasia, up and down, how you want. Take my hands,â he breathes, his voice hoarse and low and oh so sexy.
I clasp his hands, holding on for life. Gently I push off him and back down, oh my. His eyes are burning with wild anticipation. His breathing is ragged, matching mine, and he lifts his pelvis as I come down, bouncing me back up. We pick up the rhythm⦠up, down, up, down⦠over and over⦠and it feels so⦠good. Between my panting breaths, the deep down, brimming fullness⦠the vehement sensation pulsing through me thatâs building quickly, I watch him, our eyes locked⦠and I see wonder there, wonder at me.
I am fucking him. I am in charge. Heâs mine, and Iâm his. The thought pushes me, weighted with concrete, over the edge, and I climax around him⦠shouting incoherently.
He grabs my hips, and closing his eyes, tipping his head back, his jaw strained, he comes quietly. I collapse on to his chest, overwhelmed, somewhere between fantasy and reality, a place where there are no hard or soft limits.