Faith

As she stands in front of your building, memories flood her mind. She remembers the rush of that night, the excitement and the thrill of sneaking away from the restaurant to your apartment. She shakes the thoughts away, trying to focus on the present moment. She takes a deep breath and enters the building, her heart pounding in her chest as she approaches your door. As she stands in front of it, she can hear the faint sound of music coming from inside. It's a familiar song, one that she remembers hearing from your music playlist. She hesitates for a moment, gathering her thoughts and her courage before finally knocking on the door. She hears the volume lowering, probably as you're trying to hear who's there but you don't open the door. She knocks again, this time a little harder. "(y/n)?" She calls out, her voice tentative and hopeful. "What?!" She hears from behind the door before you open the door in surprise, your eyes widening a bit. Your hair is wet and a bit wild, you're wearing a tank top and shorts. For a few moments, she simply stares at you, taking in the sight of you after so many days apart. The emotions and memories flood her mind, and she feels a mix of relief and nervousness.

You take a second to realize she's here then you grab her arm to pull her in your apartment and close the door. "Are you crazy?! Why would you come here after all the rumors and things happening right now? Who's even aware?!" You groan protectively somehow. She stumbles into your apartment as you pull her in, the door closing behind her with a resounding thud. "I had to see you..." She whispers, her voice tinged with urgency and desperation. "No one knows I'm here. I didn't tell anyone I was coming." "What? We've been here before Kamalaaa!" You whine with a little pout then take a second to look at her up and down taking in her presence. "You know I told you to come because I was CERTAIN you'd let it go!" She bites her lip as you eye her up and down, feeling vulnerable and exposed under your gaze. She runs a hand through her hair, a little flustered at her own impulsiveness. "I know, I know..." She says softly. "But I couldn't let it go. I had to see you, had to talk to you." You sigh and look at her. "Sit down, I'll get you something to drink." You offer, knowing her favorite already. She nods and takes a seat on the couch and her gaze can't help but linger on you as you walk away, her eyes tracing the subtle curves and lines of your body. Despite the situation, a hint of desire flickered within her.

You come back, handing her the glass and sitting cross-legged on the couch. Looking at her face and features for a sec. "So..." She takes the glass from you, her fingers brushing against yours for a brief moment. She takes a small sip, her eyes locked with yours. "I know you're probably angry with me, but I just... I needed to talk to you." You nod. "I'm listening..." She takes a deep breath, trying to find the words to say. She fidgets with the glass in her hands, her eyes darting around the room before settling back on you. "I... I never wanted to hurt you, (y/n). You have to believe that. I never meant to end things the way I did, and I've been feeling guilty about it ever since." She says, her voice trembling slightly. "As you should, I mean you got me out of your life out of nowhere... you can understand how difficult it is for me." Her heart lurches at your words, her eyes filled with regret and guilt. " I know... I was selfish and I never considered your feelings. I was so caught up in my own responsibilities and duties that I didn't think about how it would affect you." She takes a shaky breath, wiping away a tear that threatens to fall. "I'm so sorry, (y/n). I'm sorry for the pain I caused you."

"I appreciate it but I can't forgive you for now, I've been broken for days now." You say as you look down and grab your fingers to distract yourself. "One day you promised me we'd find a solution and the next..." You sigh. Her heart clenches at the sight of you, looking so vulnerable and sad and knowing she's the cause of it. She wants to reach out and comfort you, to hold you in her arms and tell you everything will be okay. "I know it's no excuse, but I was scared. I was scared of facing backlash, of people finding out about us and judging us. I was afraid of losing everything I've worked so hard for." "I get it but then why would you even start something with me knowing it couldn't possibly end well? I felt played with..." Her eyes well up with tears as you voice your pain, her heart breaking at the thought that she made you feel that way. "I didn't mean to play with your feelings, I swear... it was never my intention to hurt you. I just... I just couldn't resist you." She looks at you, her eyes pleading. "You have to understand, I've never felt like this with anyone else. You were unlike anyone I'd ever met before. I was drawn to you like a moth to a flame and I couldn't help myself."

"Do you still feel it..?" You can't help but ask as you look up at her. She holds your gaze, her eyes unflinching and full of sincerity. "Yes. Of course I do." She swallows hard, her voice trembling a little. "I can't deny it... the feelings I have for you, they're stronger than anything I've ever experienced." "Then why would you-" You cut yourself, wanting to ask why she stopped things between you but you know the answer already. She bows her head, her voice soft and shaky. "I was a coward. I chose the easy way out instead of facing the challenges together. I thought that ending things would make it less complicated, that it would be less painful." She looks back up at you, her eyes brimmed with tears. "But I was wrong. I made a mistake, (y/n). A terrible mistake." You notice her eyes and sigh. "Be honest with me, are you staying with Doug because it's easy and you're used to it? Because starting something with me it's... too scary?" Her heart clenches at your question, knowing that there's truth to it. She bites her lip, conflicted and unsure of what to say. "I... I thought it would be easier to stay with Doug, yes. But it's not that it's easy, it's familiarity."

She takes a deep breath, her eyes full of emotion. "But being with you... it's terrifying yes, but it's also exhilarating. I've never felt so alive as when I'm with you." You look at her, conflicted. you don't know what to do or say. Her only presence makes you want to hug and kiss her but you shouldn't. She shouldn't even be here. She can see the conflict in your eyes, the hesitation and the yearning. She feels the same way, the pull towards you growing stronger with every passing moment. She clenches her fists, her nails digging into her palm as she tries to maintain some semblance of control. "You know we should just... cut things off." You say but look at her, just wanting to pounce on her. She closes her eyes, her body trembling with tension. "You're right, we should... we should-" Her words are cut off as she catches a glimpse of your body, the curves she knows so well, and her desire surges up from deep within her. You have a low little gasp as you notice how she's watching you, you know this gaze, you know this desire and you shift a bit on the couch. "Kam..."

Her eyes rake over you hungrily, her desire becoming more and more overwhelming. "(y/n)..." she whispers, her voice heavy with lust. "I... I need you." You want it too of course, but it'd be too easy after what she did to you. "Oh now you need me hm?" Her heart clenches at your words, the accusation in them cutting through her. "I...I've always needed you. I was just too stupid to realize it." She moves closer to you, her hand reaching out but stopping just short of touching you. "I know I messed up. I know I hurt you deeply, but please..." Her voice is hushed, filled with emotion and desperation. "Please give me a chance to make it right. Please...I need to touch you." You look at her for a second and want to make her struggle a bit, it's only worth it. "Beg me." She stares at you in disbelief for a moment before the request fully registers. A mix of shock and desire flash in her eyes and she swallows hard at your commanding tone. "I...I...what?" She stutters, her voice barely above a whisper. "You... you want me to beg?" She can't believe she's even considering it, but the fire of desire and need has her completely in its grasp. "Yea, if you want me so bad then prove it, it's only right to have doubts after you dismissed me like that."

A shiver runs down her spine, the thought of begging so foreign and yet so erotic. She takes a breath, her mind racing with thoughts and desires. Then, with a look of determination in her eyes, she shifts closer to you. "Please... please let me touch you. I need to feel you, your skin, your body. I need to feel your breath. Please (y/n), I'm begging you." The words come out of her in a hoarse whisper, her voice trembling with need. You have a faint smile and grab her hands, leading them to your thighs, allowing her to caress you. "Then what Kam? We'll be at the same point you know..." Her hands are trembling as she feels the smoothness of your skin beneath her fingertips. It's been so long since she's touched you like this, her body practically quivering with desire and anticipation. She looks up at you, her eyes pleading and her voice low. "Then let us get to that point, please let me make it up to you. Let me show you I can be what you need." You think for a second then speak again. "If you take me now, you also promise to find a solution for us and NEVER" You squeeze her shoulder tightly. "never treat me like a toy you're bored with ever again." She nods, her heart in her throat as she looks at you intently.

The pressure of your gaze and the squeeze on her shoulder makes her swallow hard, knowing that this is a crucial moment. "I promise. I promise I will never treat you like a toy again. I will never discard you so easily. I will find a solution and I will do everything in my power to be with you, no matter the consequences. Please (y/n)... let me prove it to you..." You smile and softly press your lips on hers. "Then make me believe you,  words without actions are worthless..."

Forgive but never forget yall 🫦

-Djedje <3