Chapter Seven

"And then he just left?" Her friend, Sam, asked.

All Mia could do was pull her knees up to her chin and nod.

She wallowed on Sunday, thrown herself into work throughout the week, but now that the weekend was here again, the one where they had meant to go back together and surprise everyone, her friends wouldn't allow her to remain locked away in her apartment without explanation.

Zoey knew. Adam had to go into the guest room to collect his things, and Zoey watched the entire process from the bed. Once he left the apartment, she'd come in to hold Mia and to apologize for pushing something between them. But it wasn't her fault, and it wasn't Mia's. Maybe it wasn't even Adam's.

Maybe things played out exactly how they needed to. She'd finally gotten the kiss she'd dreamed of for ten years, and he'd severed the strings to her heart so she could move on from something she could never have. The pain was excruciating, but someday Mia would find her way out of it. She'd find a way of living her life without Adam or the hope of him returning to her.

"So, what are you going to do about Thanksgiving? Isn't he going to be there?"

Mia had planned the holidays out. She'd let her parents think she'd be going, then call and pretend to be sick the day before. For Christmas, she'd tell them she had to work the day after Christmas. She likely wouldn't be able to get out of the Christmas Eve party, her parents biggest party of the year, but there would be enough people where she could easily remain hidden in the crowds and could just book a bus ticket back for late that night. Then it wouldn't appear as if Mia were avoiding Adam.

"Not going."

"So what," Sam began, "you're just going to avoid going home because he's there? How long are you going to do that? Aren't they going to wonder what the hell's going on? Why, now that Adam's home, you're suddenly always busy?"

They probably would wonder about that eventually, but that wasn't her problem. It's not like the truth would ruin everything. She kissed Adam and then he told her it couldn't happen again and decided it was best he kept his distance from her. It was all damn simple. Painful how he'd gone about saying it, but simple none the less.

But she knew it couldn't last forever. Fate or circumstance would bring them together eventually and when it did, she knew how things would go down. He'd make small talk with her, talk about the weather and family, maybe a job he was commissioned for. She'd reply with as few words as possible, excuse herself to go do something else, going their separate ways once again. He'd keep her at a distance and she would feel that distance- mind, body, and soul.

Then they'd do it all over again.

Soon that distance Adam wanted would become too familiar and take over for the rest of their lives.

They say that when someone you love dies; it isn't so much the loss that's the hard part, but learning how to live every day in a world that doesn't have that person in it. Adam wasn't dead, but it felt like he was. And she would have to learn how to live her life without having him in it. She did it once, to an extent, and she would do so again. But that meant she had to put distance between them, which meant distance from her family.

"Well?" Sam pushed.

Mia licked her lips and ran her fingers through her dark, greasy hair. "I'm just making shit up as I go, okay? I don't have all the answers to this. All I know is that it hurts like a bitch and that will get so much worse if I have to see him. When it hurts less, we'll figure it out. Until then, I'm not going home."

As Mia spoke those words, she knew it wasn't enough. Every time she saw him, feeling that emotional distance between him would open up every wound that time closed. The last time she'd lost Adam, he was a world away. This time, he was close. And that closeness was what would continue opening those wounds.

***********

"You want a reference?" Mia's boss, Richard, asked. "To look for a new job?"

She'd been working at the museum for the last three years and she loved it. But minus her job and her friends, there was nothing else she loved about this city. This wasn't an easy decision for Mia to make, but nothing was set in stone yet. "If I stay in Chicago, there is nowhere I'd rather work, Rich. Right now I'm just feeling things out, seeing what other options are out there."

Richard clasped his hands and rested them on the desk. He was about the age of her father and a handsome man. He was also kind. They'd become closer after learning they grew up in the same city and he'd always looked out for her like a second father. He'd even invited her to his family's for Thanksgiving, knowing she wasn't going home this year.

Mia moved her stare away from the desk in front of her and looked at the photos that adorned the wall. He truly was a great boss. Most of the photos were of him and his employees, along with one of him and her, and a few awards sprinkled in. Richard ran the museum like a professional, but treated most of them as family.

"So it's Chicago you're looking to leave, not the museum."

Mia shook her head. She'd thought about doing this last year, but knowing Adam would be coming home, Mia wanted to remain close for when he did. Now that he was home, she wanted the same distance he did. Even more so. "I love being here. I just don't love being in this city."

He looked at her a good long time; the age showing in his face compared to when they'd first met. "I'll have it ready for you by the end of the week." He raised himself from his chair and held out his hand. "It's been a pleasure working with you, Mia. I mean that."

Mia took his hand in hers and shook it. "Nothing's official yet, sir."

"Something tells me it is." The look on Richard's face, so full of melancholy and forced understanding, seemed almost final.

While nothing was official, Mia felt like she was turning the page to a final chapter.