: Chapter 24
The Risk (Briar U)
Itâs Tuesday morning and a skinny blonde is giving me the stink eye.
My friend Audrey is supposed to be meeting me at the Coffee Hut, but sheâs five minutes late. Maybe the skinny blonde at the counter is pissed that Iâm taking up a two-person table for myself? But thatâs bullshit. Sheâs alone, too. Why should she get the two-person table? This is America. First-come first-served, girlfriend.
Still, I send an SOS to Audrey, because the coffee shop is packed, and I canât nurse the same cup of coffee for much longer without the barista coming by to tell me they need the table.
ME: Where are you? Peeps are trying to steal our table.
AUDREY: Still waiting to talk to the prof.
Ugh, really? Sheâs still at the lecture hall? The journalism building is a ten-minute walk from the Coffee Hut. Her next message confirms my fears.
AUDREY: Iâll be at least 15. Do you mind waiting or should we meet this afternoon?
ME: I wonât have time this afternoon ð Class starts at 1, ends around 5. We can do dinner maybe?
AUDREY: Canât ð
Grrr. Despite sharing a major, Audrey and I havenât hung out in a while. We donât interact much during classes, since most of the time weâre assigned a story on the spot and then ordered to go forth and write it. Iâve barely seen my friend Elisa this month, either. I guess itâs that time of year. Final papers and exams, the hockey season at its peak, and before we know it, itâll be May and the semester will be over.
ME: OK, Iâll wait. I miss your face.
AUDREY: Aw love you, boo. See you soon.
âBrenna Jensen?â
I lift my head to see the stink-eye girl from the counter. Sheâs two feet away now, and her expression hasnât gotten any brighter. It matches the overcast sky beyond the window.
âWhoâs asking?â I ask warily.
âIâm Hazel. Hazel Simonson.â
I give her a blank look. âOkay. Do we know each other?â
A groove digs into her forehead, but Iâm not quite sure what that signifies. âJake never mentioned me?â
My hand tightens around my coffee cup. âYou know Jake?â
âYes. Very well, actually.â
I attempt to keep my expression neutral. Swear to God, if this girl tries telling me that heâs her boyfriendâ¦
No. Iâd call bullshit if she did. I donât think Jake is a dishonest person. He said he doesnât do girlfriends, and I donât believe heâs got a side piece stashed somewhere.
âCan I join you?â Hazel says coolly.
âIâm actually meeting somebodyââ
She sits down, anyway. âIâll keep you company until they get here.â Hazel clasps her hands on the tabletop. âThereâs a couple things we need to discuss.â
I lean back in the chair, keeping my body language relaxed. Hers is confrontational, and I always meet aggression with indifference. Itâs a tactic that tends to ruffle the aggressorâs feathers. âLook. Hazel. No offense, but I donât know you. Youâre claiming to know Jake, but he hasnât once brought up your name to me.â
Her light-brown eyes flash briefly.
âSo forgive me if I donât trust the strange girl who sits down without invitation and glares at me like I strangled her cat.â I cross my legs, loosely resting a hand on my right knee.
âI do know Jake,â Hazel says curtly. âWe grew up in Gloucester together. Went to school together. I know his parents⦠Lily and Rory?â she prompts.
I canât challenge her on that. Jake never mentioned his parentsâ first names to me.
âWe all had breakfast together on Saturday. At their place.â A trace of smugness creeps into her expression. âJake and I took the train up.â
An unwelcome feeling pulls at my stomach.
âI know him better than anyone,â she finishes. And itâs no longer a traceâsheâs smug as fuck.
âIs that so?â I drawl.
âYes. I know he has a good head on his shoulders, and I also know heâs way smarter than he looks. He doesnât usually get played like this.â
The lioness act is starting to grate. âHeâs getting played?â
âDonât play dumb.â She laces her fingers together in a tight grip. âI know exactly who you are. I cyber-stalked you after he told me you were dating.â
I manage to swallow my surprise before it reaches my eyes. Jake told this chick that we were dating?
Hazel smirks. âLike I said, Jake and I are old friends. We donât keep secrets from each other.â
That sensation in my gut intensifies. It starts churning in a hot eddy ofâ¦I think it might be jealousy. But thereâs a hefty dose of anger in there, too, because who the hell is this girl?
I meet her haughty eyes. âThatâs great that you two are so tight. Although if thatâs truly the case, then you would know that he and I arenât seeing each other anymore.â
Saying it out loud triggers a wave of regret. I wonât deny that I miss him. It hasnât even been a full week since I asked him to leave my house, but it feels like forever. Heâs constantly been on my mind, which has been made worse by his daily texts. The one he sent yesterday about being around if I change my mindâ¦I almost caved and called him.
At the last second, I regained my senses. Reminded myself why itâs better that itâs over. I donât want a boyfriend, and especially not one whoâs moving to another country in a few short months. And fine, maybe a part of me is still embarrassed by what happened in my bedroom. I could barely meet Jakeâs eyes afterward. He got a front-row seat to my father lecturing me in the hallway as if I was a disobedient child.
It was so humiliating.
âYes, I do know that,â Hazel says, interrupting my thoughts. âHe told me that you ended it. And say what you will about Jake, but heâs not a cynical personââ
âWhat does cynicism have to do with this?â I interject.
âEverything. Because I am a cynical person, and I know what youâre up to.â
âOkay.â Iâm beginning to grow tired of this entire exchange.
âCoach Jensenâs daughter hooks up with the Harvard hockey captain during the playoffs. She puts him under her spell, gets under his skin, and drops him right before the biggest game of the season. And now heâs so upset he can barely focus on hockeyâthe only thing thatâs ever mattered to him, by the wayâbecause this girl ghosted him.â
A new emotion joins the cocktail brewing in my gut. Guilt. âHeâs upset?â
âYeah. Congratulations. You got what you wanted.â
âThatâs not what I wanted at all.â
âRight. Iâm sure.â She scrapes her chair back but doesnât stand yet. âStay away from him. Jake and I watch out for each other, we have since we were kids, and Iâm not going to let some puck bunny sabotage his season or distract him from his goals.â
âYouâre not going to let me, huh? Iâm sorry to break it to you, but, to quote my cousin Leighâs four-year-old daughterâyouâre not the boss of me.â I chuckle. âAnd Iâm the farthest thing from a puck bunny.â
âRight,â she drawls again.
âOh, and FYI, Iâm not sabotaging a damn thing, but thatâs the last thing Iâm saying on this subject. Iâm not going to explain myself to you or discuss my relationship with Jake, because itâs none of your business.â
She stiffly gets to her feet. âWhatever. You ended it. Keep it that way and we wonât have a problem.â
I smile, all teeth and no warmth. âAre you done?â
âFor now. Enjoy the rest of your day.â She marches to the door, and I watch as Jakeâs (alleged) best friend in the whole wide world saunters out of the Coffee Hut.
On one hand, I do appreciate it when claws come out in defense of someone you care about. But I donât appreciate the accusation that Iâm sabotaging Jakeâs season, or that being with him was some nefarious scheme on my part.
I didnât intend on hooking up with him. Ed Mulder and his stupid obsession with Edmonton was the only reason Jake and I went out. And things turned physical because thatâs what happens when two people have chemistry. Chemistry is hard to find and even harder to fight.
Ha. Iâd like to see Hazel try to resist Jake. If he fixed that seductive green-eyed gaze on her andâ
Something occurs to me. Was this encounter more than just a friend defending her friend? Does she have a thing for him?
On further thought, I realize that wouldnât surprise me in the least.
When my phone rings, I half expect it to be Jake, and my pulse speeds up. When the words HockeyNet flash on the screen, my heart beats even faster. Finally.
I take a breath, trying to steady my nerves. âHello?â
âMay I speak to Brenna Jensen, please?â inquires a brisk female voice.
âSpeaking.â
âBrenna, hi. This is Rochelle from Ed Mulderâs office. Mr. Mulder was hoping youâd be able to come in tomorrow to discuss the internship position.â
âOh. Um.â I quickly run through tomorrowâs schedule. My first class isnât until one oâclock again. Itâll be close, but I could make it. âYes, but only if itâs first thing in the morning. I have a seminar at one.â
âIâm afraid heâs all booked up in the morning.â I hear typing on the other line. âHow about later afternoon? Does five thirty work for you?â
âI can make it work,â I say instantly, because Iâm not about to be difficult.
âPerfect. Weâll see you tomorrow.â
She disconnects.
Excitement flutters inside me. In the back of my mind, a little voice cautions me not to get ahead of myself. This doesnât mean I got the job.
Butâ¦how am I not supposed to be hopeful? He wouldnât make me drive all the way to Boston just to turn me down.
Nobody is that big of an asshole, right?
âWe decided to go with somebody else.â
Oh. Apparently Ed Mulder is that big of an asshole.
From my perch on his visitorâs chair, I swallow my resentment and muster up a calm tone. âFor all three slots?â There were three internships up for grabs.
âYes. Weâve got some good guys coming in. Donât get me wrong, your academics are on par, but two of them are athletes, and all three simply brought something unique to the table.â
Penises.
They brought penises to the table.
There is no doubt in my mind of that. But I force myself to remain courteous. âI see. All right. Well, thank you for your consideration.â Thank you for making me drive all the fucking way here.
He could have easily sent an email like a regular old jackass, but noooo, he had to prove that heâs a supreme jackass.
I start to get up, but Mulder chuckles and holds up a hand. âWait. Thatâs not the only reason I asked you to come in.â
My butt sinks back on the chair. Despite myself, a teeny flicker of hope tickles my throat. Maybe heâs offering me a different position. Maybe a paid one, orâ
âI wanted to invite you and Jake to the Bruins game this Sunday.â He beams at me, as if expecting me to clap my hands together in glee. âThe network has a private box at TD Garden. Oh, my brother and sister-in-law will be there, too. Lindsay and Karen really enjoyed meeting you the other night. You ladies can catch up while us boys enjoy the game.â
Is murder illegal in Massachusetts?
Itâs illegal in all fifty states, I remind myself.
Maybe I could get a good lawyer who could spin it as self-defense? Summerâs dad is a defense attorney. Iâm sure heâd be able to keep me off Death Row.
The fury bubbling inside me is so close to spilling over. This asshole made me drive all the way to Boston so he could reject my internship application and invite me to talk about knitting and interior design with his wife and sister-in-law while he and my fake boyfriend get to watch my favorite hockey team.
Itâs probably a good thing I donât own a gun.
âI appreciate the invitation. Iâll have to ask Jake,â I say tightly, hoping the sheer rage isnât showing on my face. âIâll let you know.â
âPerfect. Hope you guys can make it. My wife canât stop gushing about what a great couple you two make.â He winks. âDonât worry, itâs still our little secret.â
I fake a smile. âThank you.â
âLet me walk you out.â
âNo bother!â My cheery expression is in grave danger of collapsing. âI know the way out. Enjoy the rest of your day, Mr. Mulder.â
âEd.â
âEd.â
The fake smile disappears the moment I exit the office. My movements are stiff as I grab my coat from the row of hooks near the door. âIt was nice meeting you,â I tell Rochelle.
âYes. Best of luck to you,â she says sympathetically.
I step out into the corridor, but I donât leave the building right away. I want to walk by the studio one last time, give it one last longing look. When I reach the cavernous space, thereâs a news show in progress. I creep in, keeping a discreet distance, and watch as two analysts recap last nightâs Ottawa Senators game and the game-winning goal by Brody Lacroix. One of them says, âGeoff spoke to Brody after the game. Hereâs what the rookie had to say.â
From the corner of my eye, I catch a flurry of activity in the control booth. The director signals to someone, and a video of the interview suddenly comes on the screen between the two hosts. Geoff Magnoliaâs annoying face appears. Heâs the one who does most of the locker room interviews after games, and players view him as âone of the bros.â
Most of the time, Magnolia is too busy exchanging wisecracks with the players to ask about the actual game. With this Senatorsâ game, however, heâs attempting to be a real journalist while chatting with star player Brody Lacroix. They discuss Lacroixâs success in the third period, as well as his overall success during the season so far. At three different times, Magnolia says that Lacroixâs parents must be very proud of their son, and all three times, Lacroix gives an uncomfortable half-smile before finally mumbling some lame answer and turning away.
I shake my head. âMoron,â I mutter at the same time that a low female voice growls, âIdiot.â
I spin around to find Georgia Barnes, my idol, standing a few feet away. She eyes me, looking intrigued.
âAnd itâs time for a commercial,â one of the hosts tells the audience. âAfter the break, weâll catch up with Herbie Handler down in Nashville and hear his predictions for tonightâs Predators matchup against the Flyers.â
âAnd weâre out,â a cameraman barks.
As if a switch has been flipped, the set comes to life. Bodies rush by, the chatter of voices echoing in the studio. âSomeone fix that light!â one of the hosts complains. âItâs burning my goddamn retinas.â
A lowly assistant sprints over to deal with the lights. Georgia Barnes glances at me again, then walks off the set.
I hesitate for a beat. Then I hurry after her, awkwardly calling out her name.
She stops in the brightly lit corridor, turning to face me. Sheâs wearing a black pinstripe skirt, a white silk top, and black flats. Despite the elegant attire, I know that she has a fiery streak in her.
âIâm sorry to bother you,â I tell her. âBut I wanted to let you know what a huge fan I am. I think youâre one of the sharpest, most intelligent journalists in the country.â
Georgia responds with a warm smile. âThank you. I appreciate that.â Her shrewd gaze sweeps over me. âDo you work here?â
I shake my head. âIn fact, I was just informed that I didnât get the internship I applied for.â
âI see.â She nods ruefully. âItâs a competitive program, from what I hear.â A dry note enters her voice. âAlthough you should probably be preparedâthis entire industry is competitive. Even more so for women.â
âSo I hear.â
She studies my face again. âWhy did you call Geoff Magnolia a moron?â
A rush of heat suffuses my cheeks, and I hope to hell Iâm not blushing. âUh, right. Yes. Iâm sorry I said thatââ
âDonât be sorry. But tell me why you did.â
I offer an awkward shrug. âBecause of the questions he was asking. Someone needs to tell that man to perform at least a modicum of research before his interviews. He asked about Lacroixâs parents three times.â
âSo what?â Georgia says. Her tone is light, but I sense sheâs testing me.
âSo the kidâs mom died of cancer less than a month ago, and he looked like he was about to burst into tears. Magnolia shouldâve known about that.â
âYes. He should have. But as weâve established, Geoff Magnolia is a moron.â She lowers her voice conspiratorially. âIâll tell you a secretâwhatâs your name?â
âBrenna.â
âIâll tell you a secret, Brenna. Magnolia is the rule, not the exception. If you ever find yourself working here someday, be prepared to deal with morons on a daily basis. Or worse, sexist blowhards who will spend every minute of every day telling you that you donât belong here because you have a vagina.â
I smile halfheartedly. âI think I experienced that today.â
Her features soften. âSorry to hear that. All I can say is, donât let one rejection, one door-slam, stop you from trying again. Continue applying to networks, cable stations, anywhere thatâs hiring.â She winks. âNot everybody wants to keep us out, and a change is coming. Albeit slowly, but I promise you itâs coming.â
I feel a bit awestruck as Georgia squeezes my arm before sauntering off. I have faith that sheâs right, that a change is coming. But I wish it would hurry up. It took decades for female reporters to be allowed to interview athletes in the locker room. It required a Sports Illustrated reporter to file a lawsuit before a court finally ruled that banning female journalists from locker room interviews violated the 14th Amendment.
And yet changing laws does nothing to change social attitudes. ESPN has made strides by hiring more female columnists, analysts. But it pisses me off that women in sports continue to face hostility and sexist behaviors when theyâre simply trying to do their jobs, just like their male counterparts.
âBrenna, hey!â Mischa, the stage manager I met last week, bumps into me near the elevator bank. âYouâre back.â
âIâm back,â I say wryly.
âGood news, I assume?â
âSadly, no. Mr. Mulder asked me to come so he could tell me to my face that I didnât get the job.â
âOh. Iâm sorry. That sucks.â He shakes his head, visibly disappointed. âI wouldâve enjoyed having you around.â
âYeah, well, Iâm sure the new interns will be great.â
âMaybe. But I have a feeling Mulder is missing out by letting you go.â
âFeel free to tell him that.â When the elevator doors slide open, I reach out to touch his arm. âIt was nice to meet you, Mischa.â
âNice meeting you too, Brenna.â
My smile fades once Iâm alone in the elevator. Tears prick my eyes, but I order myself not to cry. Iâm not allowed to cry. It was just an internship. Iâm sure I can find a local TV or radio station to gopher at this summer, and in the fall I can reapply at HockeyNet, or maybe Iâll find an even better work placement. This isnât the end of the world.
But dammit, I really, really wanted this internship.
My fingers tremble as I pull my phone out of my purse. I should order a car to take me to the train station. Instead, I think about Jakeâs text from yesterday, the one urging me to call him.
I bite my lip.
Calling him is probably a terrible idea.
But I do it, anyway.
âWow, youâre talking to me again,â Jake says when we meet up twenty minutes later. âWhat did I do to deserve this honor?â
My spirits are so low I canât even conjure up a sarcastic remark. âI didnât get the internship,â I say flatly. âMulder chose three guys with penises instead of me.â
âAs opposed to guys without penises?â He smiles, but his humor doesnât linger. âIâm sorry, Hottie. That sucks.â He reaches out as if to touch me, but then thinks better of it and drops his arm to his side.
Weâre on the front steps of the Bright-Landry Hockey Center, which feels like absolute blasphemy. Luckily, none of his teammates are around. When I called him, he admitted that practice ended hours ago and heâd stayed behind to watch game tape on his own. Thatâs dedication. And while I admire it, that also means I have to meet him here instead of his condo. The condo would have been highly preferable.
To add insult to injury, the sky decides to mimic my mood, taking this exact moment as opportunity to dump a mountain of rain on us. Itâs been cloudy and chilly all day, but suddenly the sky is black and itâs pouring buckets, soaking our hair in seconds.
âCome inside,â Jake urges, grabbing my hand.
We rush into the building, where I cringe at the sight of the championship pennants and all the framed crimson jerseys. âWhat if someone sees us?â I hiss as I shove my damp hair away from my forehead.
âThen they see us. Who cares? Weâre just talking, right?â
âI feel exposed. Weâre too out in the open,â I grumble.
He rolls his eyes. âFine. Letâs go to the media room. Itâs private and Iâm the only one in there.â
I follow him down the hall, my gaze eating up his long stride. Itâs been less than a week since I last saw him, and somehow I forgot how tall he is, how attractive. He didnât hug or kiss me hello. I didnât hug or kiss him hello, either. Now I kinda wish I had.
In a state-of-the-art media room that rivals the one we have at Briar, I unzip my leather jacket and drape it over the back of a nearby chair. Then I plop into one of the plush chairs and stick out my chin glumly. âI really wanted that internship.â
âI know you did.â Jake settles in the chair next to mine, stretching those impossibly long legs out in front him. âBut maybe itâs a blessing in disguise. Even if he hadnât been your direct supervisor, you still wouldâve had to interact with Mulder. And that guy is the worst.â
âTrue.â I suddenly notice the image on the big screen. Itâs Hunter Davenportâs lean body crouching during a faceoff. âSpying, are we?â I crack.
âItâs not spying, itâs due diligence. And donât tell me your boys arenât doing the exact same thing right now.â
âWell, I didnât come here to reveal Briar secrets, so donât ask me anything about my boys.â
He glances over, his chiseled face serious. âThen why are you here?â
âWhat do you mean?â
âI mean, your cousin lives in the city. And I assume you have other friends here, too.â
âSo?â
âSo why was I the first person you called after you got the bad news?â
I flick my gaze to his. âYou donât know that youâre the first person I called. Maybe nobody else picked up.â
âDid you call anybody else?â Jake asks politely.
âNo,â I admit, which forces me to look inward, because why did I call him? We went on a couple of dates, talked on the phone a few times, fooled around a time or two. There is no reason why Jake should have been my go-to comfort person today. I have a good support systemâSummer, Audrey, Elisa, to name a few. Why didnât I reach out to any of them?
âWhy me?â he pushes.
I let out a frazzled breath. âI donât know.â
âYes, you do.â He chuckles softly. âYou like me.â
âI donât like you.â
âYes, you do. Thatâs why you kicked me out last week.â
âNo, I kicked you out because my father was standing outside the door while we were sixty-nine-ing.â
Jake makes a growly sound. âYou just had to bring that up.â
âWhat, my father?â
âNo, what we were doing.â His eyes gleam seductively. âNow Iâm hard.â
âI feel like youâre always hard,â I grumble back.
âCome here and test that theory.â He pats his lap, while enticingly waggling his eyebrows.
I canât stop a laugh. âWhat theory? You already admitted to being hard.â
He crosses his ankles together, staring down at his Converse sneakers for a few seconds. âOkay. So youâre saying you threw me out because your father almost caught us.â
âYup.â
Thatâs not entirely true. I kicked him out because I refused to show him any more vulnerability. In the span of an hour or two, I allowed him to see how badly I wanted him, how wildly he turned me on. I allowed him to overhear a mortifying exchange with my father, in which I was admonished like a child and accused of being a train wreck.
I donât want anybody else, let alone a guy, to ever view me the way my father does.
I feel Jakeâs gaze on me. âWhat?â I mutter.
âI donât believe what youâre saying.â His tone roughens. âWhat are you so afraid will happen if we keep seeing each other?â
âIâm not afraid. I simply donât see the point when it canât go anywhere.â
âDo you only spend time with guys you think itâll go somewhere with?â
âNo.â
He looks thoughtful. âCâmere.â
Before I can blink, heâs tugging me off my chair. I wind up in his lap, and the bulge in his jeans is impossible to miss or ignore. I sigh in resignation, adjusting my position so that Iâm straddling him. His quickly growing erection is pressed directly against my core, and it feels so good I canât help but rock against it.
Jake makes a husky sound. He slides one big hand to the base of my spine, while the other moves upward to tangle in my hair.
Against my better judgment, I lower my head. My tongue prods the seam of his lips, and he parts them to grant me access. I whimper when my tongue touches his. He tastes like mint gum and his lips are so soft and warm. I lock my hands around his neck, losing myself in the heat of him.
âKissing you makes me so hard,â he murmurs.
âYou were hard before I kissed you.â
âYeah, because I was thinking about kissing you.â
I laugh, and it comes out a bit breathless. âYouâreââ A crash of thunder drowns out my voice. The overhead lights flicker for a second.
Jakeâs dark eyebrows fly up. âShit, that was nuts.â
I stroke the wispy hairs at his nape. âAw, Jakey. Are you scared?â
âTerrified,â he whispers.
Our lips meet at the same time the lights flicker again. This time they go out.
Darkness engulfs us. But instead of jumping up in a panic, we kiss harder. Jakeâs hands travel beneath my black sweater. He pulls the thin material up to reveal my bra, but he doesnât unclasp it, just pushes it down to reveal my boobs. Wet heat surrounds my nipple. He draws it deep in his mouth, and I shiver uncontrollably.
He squeezes my breasts while continuing to lave my nipple, licking and suckling until it grows impossibly harder in his mouth. I moan, louder than I should considering our surroundings.
Jake responds by capturing my other nipple and teasing it senseless. Then he gives an upward thrust, rubbing our lower bodies together. God. This guy. Iâm so hot for him, itâs insane.
The room is still dark, but just when Iâm starting to get used to it, the fluorescent lights flash back on.
Jake lifts his head, his gaze burning as he gets a nice eyeful of my chest. âSo fucking beautiful.â
Groaning, he cups both my breasts before burying his face between them.
And thatâs when Coach Pedersen walks into the room.