22: The Power of Listening

HARPER

As I approached my house, I gave a nod to Miguel, who was still playing bodyguard to Sierra. We were in the process of secretly relocating his family here. This would free him from the obligation of doing something terrible for the sake of his sister and nephew.

He had confessed that he didn’t want to be part of the Red Coven anymore and was more than willing to leave it behind.

Walking into the house, I felt okay until she uttered that word: IF. Once again, she made a statement that hinted at her uncertainty about being here, and my wolf side was not happy about it.

I had been keeping him from touching her, hadn’t really touched her since feeding a few days ago. The need for her was overwhelming, and maintaining this distance was becoming unbearable.

It hit me hard, and when I looked at her, I could see she was looking worse today without feeding. No, this was not acceptable. I didn’t care what the reason was.

I was not going to stand here, denied intimacy with my mate, and then watch her starve herself for whatever reason. I’d rather she feed from a man than starve. There were shadows under her eyes and she was very pale.

How many days could she go? I always wanted to offer to her, but I knew I wouldn’t keep my hands to myself and that was what she seemed to want—no touching.

“I am not starving myself for ill reasons,” she said, looking upset.

Good, I was upset too, at least it seemed like she cared. I also needed a moment to calm down. I prided myself on being level-headed.

However, suppressing my wolf and doing what came naturally to it was causing me problems.

“Good, then like I said, join me if you want after. Go feed and decide if here is really where you want to be or if you still want to keep this space with me then I would like it to be actual space. I really just can’t, I’m tired of always being practical and calm!” I nearly shouted that and then just walked around her to the door.

I needed to leave right now before I lost my cool.

“Harper, wait!” Sierra called sharply.

I just went out the door and looked at Miguel. He looked at me and then to the door. I was already at my car; there was a second in the drive now for her and him to use.

“Make sure she feeds. Got it?” I demanded.

“Yes, sir, but maybe…”

Whatever Miguel was going to say was cut off by me shutting the door and starting the car.

I didn’t speed out of the driveway. I just backed out and did not look at the porch. I just went to where the festivities were. I was the one who needed space now.

SIERRA

I quickly followed Harper, flinging the door open. He didn’t understand why I was doing what I was doing. Shit, I really did screw that up a bit, but he could have listened for a second.

Damn it, why didn’t I just speak up a little sooner? I came out and down the front step, but Harper drove away, and I clenched my fists.

Claws dug into my hands, drawing blood, little ribbons of it floating about my hands then dropping to the ground.

“Lady Sierra,” Miguel started.

“Shut up!” I nearly screamed at him, turning around with red eyes.

I gasped and calmed myself. He looked shocked; I never spoke like that.

“I’m sorry, Miguel. I’m just upset. I hate them. I hate them so much for what they’ve done to me,” I said, punching the siding and putting a dent in it.

I feared trying to love someone. I feared giving them a statement of commitment because of rejection. Oh god, what if he went there and some she-wolf offered him what I couldn’t?

I started to pace, and my breathing was starting to elevate. No, he wouldn’t do that. This was just a little space to think. What if though?

I started biting at my thumbnail so hard I was drawing blood and really pacing the sidewalk. I didn’t know how to deal with this. I didn’t know how to deal with caring for someone.

What if I just broke this and didn’t even know? No, I didn’t. This was just a simple fight, right? Lovers had fights like this; it was normal.

Harper wouldn’t just go off and find someone to comfort him or use like Kaven did.

“Damn it! I should have said what I wanted,” I said more to myself.

Miguel stepped down. “Lady Sierra, you do need to feed. You are close to starving; I can see that,” Miguel said.

I stopped and my red eyes glared at him. I even stepped toward him. A mental push came out of me, and I also pushed at his mind.

He stepped back and looked down. I did have power. I was of an old line. I was the heir, and those who pledged loyalty I could manipulate if I wanted to.

“Do not tell me what to do, Miguel. I do not want to be that woman anymore. I will feed when I am ready to feed,” I said, reading his mind.

“Yes, my lady,” he answered.

I took a breath.

“Sorry,” I said, calming myself again.

He just nodded. My lust was pushing at me, and once I fed, I knew it would begin. However, I was suppressing it this way because I wanted to bond with Harper.

If I took a suppressant, then the chances of bonding dropped. It was much easier and provided a stronger bond if it happened during lust and feeding. That was why I hadn’t, not because I was afraid.

~Damn it, Sierra.~ I said internally and then stopped my pacing. I looked at Miguel.

“Miguel, I need you to go and get me some bagged blood. That’s all I want and nothing more, all right?” I said to him.

He just nodded and went to leave. I went back in the house. I would take that, and it would take the edge off, but it would not be a true feeding.

Just enough. I might not understand about wolves completely, but Harper didn’t understand about vampires. So this was important to do. Especially if I wanted a guarantee at bonding, which I did.

Harper wanted me to make my decision. Then I would.