25: I Want This

SIERRA

I woke up, squinting against the sunlight that was peeking through a small gap in the curtains. It was bright, but the light didn’t reach the bed, so it wasn’t too bothersome. It was probably mid-afternoon, and now that I was awake, I felt a pang of hunger.

The scent of Harper filled the room, making me want to reach out and pull him closer. I took a deep breath, trying to calm the hunger and the rising lust. My skin was tingling, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to ignore it for much longer.

I lay there, more on my stomach than my side, Harper’s arm draped over me. His hand was hooked around my rib cage, just below the hem of my shirt, almost touching my breast. I craved his touch, the way his fingers would move over my skin, claiming me as his own.

My thoughts were spiraling, and my hormones were in overdrive. I closed my eyes for a moment as Harper shifted against me. His arm tightened around me, and he moved his head closer, burying it in my hair.

He made a soft sound, one that sounded content. “Are you awake?” His voice was muffled by the pillow and my hair.

“Yes,” I replied, feeling his fingers flex against my side, his thumb brushing against my breast. The rush of desire threatened to overwhelm me again.

I turned my head to face him, our faces just inches apart. My heart pounded as I met his hazel gaze. He frowned slightly.

“Your eyes are a deeper red than I’ve seen before. Is something wrong?” he asked, concern evident in his voice.

I reached up to touch his face. He was quick to notice even the smallest changes. “I’m on the edge of lust. It changes the color of my eyes,” I explained.

He studied me for a moment, taking in my words. “Do you need something? I don’t know much about vampire lust. I know about wolf heat and mating. You don’t have to hold back, Sierra. I don’t want you to feel like you have to. I won’t force you or expect you to…”

I silenced him with a finger to his lips. He was so gentle, so understanding. The world saw him as they saw Axel, ruthless and unforgiving. They didn’t know him like I did.

“I want to experience my lust. I want to share it with you, someone who means so much to me. I was holding back because I wanted to get to know you better, not let my hormones control everything. I’m sorry if it seemed like I was pushing you away. Lust is similar to heat, and I’ve never enjoyed it before. I’ve always suppressed it,” I confessed.

“Why would you starve yourself to suppress it? There are ways to manage it. I would have helped you,” he said, a hint of frustration in his voice.

“I know you would have, but that’s not what I wanted. I wanted to do this my way. If a vampiress takes a suppressant, our ability to bond weakens. Vampires can bond outside of lust, but the strongest bonds are formed during lust with a partner. I want that kind of bond with you, but I also wanted to get to know you, to understand your thoughts and your way of life. I never thought I’d find my other half. I just wanted to be careful. If I take the suppressant, my lust might not return for a long time,” I explained.

He studied me again, his fingers tracing patterns on my side, making me shiver.

“I know that wolves mate with a bite, like us, but they also form a mental connection. Your mark on me hasn’t faded. I know your bite was that of a mate. We haven’t been together long enough to make decisions about children or sharing minds. I didn’t know how to ask,” I admitted.

His gaze dropped to my shoulder and neck, and I felt a flush of heat. He looked back at me.

“I want all of those things, Sierra. I’ve wanted them for a long time, but I never found anyone I wanted to share them with. My wolf wants all or nothing. Lycans are like that. We struggle to settle like werewolves. Our animal half needs its true mate. That’s why our race struggles sometimes. But I have no doubts about us. It won’t be easy, but we can make it work if we try,” he said.

I leaned forward and kissed him, overwhelmed by his understanding and acceptance.

“You’re more than I could have ever hoped for, Harper,” I told him.

He smiled at me. “I’m going to remember those words. Just in case,” he said, making me smile in return.

Then I looked down, suddenly serious.

“I need to feed. I didn’t last night because it will trigger my lust fully,” I confessed. The blood would give my body the energy it needed, especially now, when I could get pregnant. Without it, my body wasn’t ready to fully give in to the lust.

“Do you want to bond with me, Harper? Even if I’m broken inside?” I asked, looking up at him.

He lifted my chin, forcing me to meet his gaze. “I do, Sierra. I want to mate with you, to form that bond and mark you as mine. I’m not perfect either. I have my own demons. It took me a long time to overcome them. You’ll see them if we do this, just like I’ll see yours. But I’m not afraid to show you,” he said.

“Then will you let me taste you?” I asked, my red eyes searching his hazel ones.

His gaze dropped to my lips. “I said I would provide what you needed. I haven’t changed my mind,” he said.

I leaned forward to kiss him again, then moved to pull at the sheet. He watched me, propping himself up on his elbows. I knew he wasn’t wearing anything, and I was glad he had come home and undressed. I was only wearing his shirt, and I swung a leg over him.

I climbed onto his lap, leaning in to press my lips against his once more. My hand slipped between us, wrapping around him. I held him lightly, my thumb tracing over his tip, and he hardened instantly under my touch.

A deep, masculine groan escaped his lips and into my mouth. His hand found its way to my hair, gripping it tightly, pulling me closer for a more passionate kiss. As I pulled away, our breaths were heavy and ragged.

“I love that you’re touching me, but I thought you were hungry,” he managed to say, his jaw tightening momentarily as I tightened my grip on him.

His eyes were ablaze, and I could feel my excitement building. I wanted this. I wanted him. I wanted to surrender myself to him, to let him pleasure me like he had before. I was beginning to feel more liberated, more needy, more playful. I wanted to tease him.

I dipped my head, letting my tongue trace a path up his throat. He was propped up on one elbow, and I was leaning over him slightly. His hand tightened in my hair as my lips brushed against his ear.

I moved over him, still holding him in my hand.

“I thought you wanted to be inside me the next time I fed. That I should just ride you while I do,” I murmured, guiding him into me.

I heard him stifle a curse as I slowly sank down onto him, my teeth sinking into the side of his neck. I wanted him. All of him. And he better be ready to give it to me.

I began to move my hips slowly, feeding from his throat.

He was as vibrant and powerful as ever, and after the first taste, my lust was ignited. All I could think about was his taste, the feeling of him inside me, the desire to not only taste his blood but to feel his release inside me as well.

The thought spurred me on, making me move my hips faster, riding him harder, seeking the release I so desperately craved with him.