IF ANYTHING, Antonâs game only got stronger after our relationship became public knowledge. Ollie Strömberg and Caleb Sorensen might be known as the first out players, but Anton and I will forever be known as the first couple in the NHL. And if we take out the game tonight, we will also be the first couple to win the Stanley Cup.
As we hang out in the visitor locker room before we need to get ready, I canât help thinking the odds are stacked against us. Weâre fighting it out with Vegas, in Vegas, in the longest seven-game series of my life. Three of the games, Vegas won easily. The other three were hard-fought, two of which were won in overtime. Vegas has sailed through the playoffs, while weâve had to fight tooth and nail just to be here.
After our great regular season, the playoffs have almost killed us. Every single game, we pulled the win out of our asses. Somehow. Making it this far has been nothing short of a miracle.
I know better than to go into this with a defeated attitude, but itâs hard to tune out.
The voice inside my head trying to psych me up reminds me that Vegas mightâve had it . We could use that to our advantage if weâre smart.
Some of the guys are stretching in the weight room, and others are sitting near their cubbies, trying to get in the zone. Thatâs where I am too, but my phone buzzes in my pocket.
Normally, I wouldnât piss off the team by taking it, but when I see who the video call is from, I know they wonât mind.
I hit the Answer button and yell out to everyone. âHey, guys, say hello to Westly.â
Thereâre rounds of shouting from all angles of the locker room along with a few âWe miss you.â
I face the phone back toward me. âAww, they love you.â
âNo,â Diedrich yells. âItâs that Ezra is more tolerable when West is around.â
âWhat about me?â Anton asks.
âIf anything, Ezra has been a bad influence on you,â Diedrich says.
I take that as a compliment. âThatâs true. Antonâs not so uptight anymore. Not since heâs been getting theââ
Antonâs hand slaps over my mouth. Then he leans in so West can see him. âHey, West. One day, you really need to teach me how to shut this guy up.â
âYou know one way,â I mumble.
He releases me. âHuh?â
âNothing.â
âI thought so.â His big palm pats my leg. âIâm gonna go stretch.â
âGood luck tonight,â West calls out to him.
âIs that why youâre calling? To wish my boyfriend good luck? What about me?â
West winces. âIs it still way too weird hearing you say . I donât like it. Itâs â
âThat sounds mildly homophobic of you, Westly Ann Dalton.â
âAnn is not my middle name. Alsoââ He gives me the finger. âItâs not because youâre two guys. Itâs because youâre . Last summer, you couldnât even say relationship without calling it a .â
âWell, I did say you and Jasper were so cute it made me want a relationship thingy. So I went out and got one.â
West shakes his head and mutters, âSo unnatural.â
âLove you too, brother.â
A low growl comes through the phone.
âAh. Jasperâs there, Iâm guessing?â I yell, âI mean in a platonic way, dude! You might find Westlyâs boyish good looks attractive, but I need my men to be rugged, manly men who donât faint at the sight of blood.â
âOkay, on that note, Iâm going to go,â West says. âI just called to wish you good luck and to apologize for not being able to be there.â
âIt sucks youâll miss out on this yearâs queer collective meetup. Youâre going to miss Antonâs initiation.â
âI know. I wish I could be there, butââ
âYou have a billion kids. I get it.â
Westâs gaze flicks off-screen, and when his bright green eyes meet mine again, they hold something like regret, but I know for a fact Westly doesnât regret retiring to be with his family.
âThis was our dream,â West says solemnly. âI might not have made it, but you will. Drown out everything around you, and do what you do best.â
The need to lighten the mood hits like it always does. âI donât think I can have sex on the ice. That wonât win us the game. I should focus on what I do second best.â
âI canât even with you â¦â
âSure you can because Iâm me, and youâre you.â
West smiles. âGo win this thing.â
âNo pressure.â
âHey, youâve gotten further than any other year youâve played. Even if Tripp doesnât let a single puck past him tonight and you walk away empty-handed, youâve played in a Stanley Cup final. Youâve worked hard for this.â
I have. This is what Iâve been working for since my dad put me in my first pair of skates before I could even walk properly. He called me last week, but I didnât answer it because nothingâs changed. Even after swearing at him, the only times he has made contact were to tell me what Iâve done wrong on the ice. Iâve let his calls go to voicemail ever since.
His latest was to tell me heâll be here tonight. It almost makes me want to throw the game because I know, without fail, if we win tonight, heâll want his photo op.
Iâll do it for him to keep family drama out of the press, but thatâs all the time I have for him.
He might have been in the NHL for five years, but he wasnât able to make a big name for himself. Still, whenever I succeed, heâll ride those coattails as much as he can. Heâs the reason Iâm so good at what I do. Heâs the reason I am where I am today if you ask him.
If anything, the pressure he used to put on me as a child couldâve crippled any desire I had to play in the NHL. Itâs lucky I love the game more than I hate him.
Both of my parents love to brag about their NHL-playing son, but neither of them wants to be an active part of my life. I have no delusion that winning tonight will change any of that.
And where I used to despise it, in the last couple of months I have realized that Iâm worth more than that. People always make a big deal about not turning your back on family. You respect your elders, and cutting people out of your life is wrong, but putting up with toxic relationships because you share DNA with someone is way too stressful, and I donât know why people do it. I canât believe I did it for so long.
Iâm worthy of healthy relationships. It possible to love me.
Just ask Anton and his family.
Antonâs parents are nothing like mine. They drove up to North Carolina when we played there. They seemed so loving and caring even if they had reservations about Anton and me being out. And when they said, âWe donât want either of you to be hurt,â I almost damn near cried because no one has ever cared about me before.
Maybe Westly has, but not ⦠not like that. In one meeting, I felt closer to Antonâs parents than I ever have my own.
Anton comes back from stretching as Coach walks in to give us his pep talk before telling us to suit up.
My leg bounces while Coach tells us to go out there and play the game of our lives.
Anton places his hand on my thigh and squeezes, trying to reassure me and calm my nerves. âWeâve got this,â he says quietly so he doesnât interrupt Coach.
I really hope so.
Itâs just another game.
One more win. Thatâs all we need.
Itâs not the end of the world if we walk away empty-handed.
Only, no matter how many times I tell myself that, my stupid inner voice reminds me that this isnât just one more game.
Itâs the fucking Stanley Cup.
Heading into the third period, the score is two apiece. Vegas scored early in the first, and we followed it up with a goal of our own. Then when we scored in the second, they turned around and evened it up. Itâs like neither team is willing to let the other get away with holding a lead.
Now we need to seal the deal.
I was really hoping Anton would get his sixth hat trick for this season and put him on a very short list of guys who have done that, but at this rate, heâll have to be happy with the amazing five he did get. There are still only thirty or so players on that list.
Time ticks down, and neither team manages to put one past the goalies. Both Tripp and Griffith are having a tight game.
I swear every time weâve gotten remotely close, Tripp gets bigger and takes up the whole net.
In between plays, I skate past him. âCome on, man, you guys won three years ago. Give us something. Please.â
Tripp laughs. âYou know Iâm immune to your begging, dude. Try harder.â
And try harder, we do. We manage to spend a chunk of time in our zone, taking shots on goal and getting shut down every time.
I may love Tripp Mitchell to death off the ice, but holy shit, I want to break one of his legs. Or his arms. Either one. I want him to not be so damn good. Just long enough for one of the Bâs guys to score.
Then, with only a couple of minutes left on the clock, Dex intercepts a pass between Diedrich and Larsen.
Dex comes flying at Kosik and me, but Kosik and I have played defense together for a long time now. We make sure to keep his path blocked while getting ready to break off if Dex passes to one of his wingers.
He doesnât.
He tries to split us, but Kosik and I hold strong.
Dex gets so close, I can see his smirk, and thatâs when I know things are about to go downhill.
He looks like heâs about to take his shot. Griffith throws himself on the ice, while Kosik and I create a wall the puck canât get through. But instead of shooting, Dex passes to Walker.
Thereâs a practically empty net, and Walker is in prime position to score.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
This is it.
This is the end.
Thereâs no way Kosik can get in position to block the bullet Walker is about to unleash.
Then, as if in slow motion, Walker pulls back for a killer slapshot, but on the follow-through, Anton gets in the puckâs way. It bounces off his pads, and then itâs an all-out scramble to take possession.
Diedrich gets to it first but is shoved from behind. Then thereâs a mess of bodies, and I lose sight of the puck, but as soon as it gets loose, Iâm on top of it. So is Vegas though.
I crash into Selby but come out victorious when the puck hits my blade.
Anton has already detangled himself from the others, and I quickly pass to him.
And then heâs on the breakaway of his career. Anton shoots before the Vegas guys gain on him.
Tripp raises his glove as he does the splits, trying to protect as much of the net as he can, but itâs no match for Antonâs shot.
When the lamp lights up, I almost fucking cry. If I really wanted to make a scene, Iâd kiss the hell out of my boyfriend right here on the ice.
But I wonât. Because Anton might be out now, but heâs still private. Instead, I practically crush him in a hug.
The team celebrates until Anton reminds us itâs not over yet.
âDonât let these guys tie up the score again. I for one am sick of overtime.â
Whatâs even worse is Coach calls Kosik and me off, so all I can do is sit back and watch.
I swear the clock has never moved slower, and for the full one and a half minutes, I hold my breath.
Anton looks cool under pressure out there. Heâs confident. But I canât help that my superstitious side is in overdrive. I canât celebrate yet.
We havenât won yet.
Why the fuck is one second so slow let alone ninety of them.
When the final buzzer sounds, a weight lifts off my chest. While everyone else jumps over the railing to celebrate, Iâm slow to respond.
I shake it off and storm the ice, looking for the one teammate I want most. And when our eyes lock, Anton flies toward me like a bull on skates. We almost topple over when we slam into each other, but somehow, we manage to stay upright. Then Anton does something heâs never done before.
He kisses me in front of twenty thousand people and a shit ton of cameras.
What do you do when your lifelong dream comes true?
You create new dreams.