ITâSÂ a relief when Coach calls Ezra away and I can unload my things into my cubby in peace. Iâm unsettled, maybe even resentful, but I know this is part of my job, and I need to suck it up.
Clearly being a good player means nothing when it comes to a trade. Besides, the person I should be feeling bad for is Wagner. Heâs only got a year or two left to play, and now heâs having to uproot his whole family because of this deal.
All I left behind was an apartment that I loved.
To be back in Boston.
I have so many mixed feelings about the trade. The first one is feeling disposable. The second is being back here, knowing my childhood home has been sold to another family, and my parents are states away. The food bank I used to volunteer at is gone, and I havenât kept track of which friends from high school are still around and which have moved on.
Iâm alone.
Which isnât something Iâve felt before, even when I moved away to college, then got drafted to my first team.
These guys are Ezraâs, and fitting into that dynamic will take time.
Diedrich offered for Moreau and me to stay with him until we get settled, but I chose to go with the hotel option. Diedrich has a gaggle of children, and his family will have enough issues with one hockey player, let alone two. This will be Moreauâs first time living out of home since he was lucky enough to be drafted to his home team in Philly. That guy is going to have a lot of adjusting to do.
Kosik joins me at my cubby. âAnton Hayes.â His smile is huge. âYou would have been my last guess.â
âYou and me both.â
âHow are you and Palaszczuk going to handle this?â I swear the locker room goes silent while they wait for my reply. I take it weâre not avoiding the elephant in the room, then.
âThere are twenty other people on this team. Iâm not going to hold bad egg against you.â I throw them a wink.
There are some chuckles.
âYou donât need to worry about me though. Iâm a professional.â Figure we should get a few things out while I have their attention. âIâm also gay for those of you who donât know, but I assume that wonât be an issue.â
They hurry to reassure me itâs totally fine.
âTeam rule though,â Diedrich adds. âNone of us talks about our sex lives, okay? You do you, but we donât need to hear about it. And you donât need to hear about what we get up to.â
âDeal.â Thatâs more than okay with me. âWhy do I get the feeling Palaszczuk was the reason for that rule?â
Diedrich rubs his neck. âMight have been, yeah.â
Ezra enters the room at just the right moment and cuts in. âBecause I showed you animals how awkward sex talk is when youâre not into the things being talked about.â
âYep, that.â Diedrich slaps my back. âBetter suit up. I grabbed you some practice gear, and I have a feeling with you two joining, today is going to be an intense practice.â
Of course it will. Coming into a new team always presents issues, but a team with Ezra?
I meant what I said. Iâm professional, and Iâm not going to let this be weird. Weâll work together on the ice, and Iâll ignore him off it. There twenty other people on this team I can give time and attention to. Some of them Iâm already friends with.
So why, when weâre getting changed, does my gaze immediately travel across to Ezra. To his bare ass. And all I can think of is when he bent over for me.
Even though Ezra and I have never gotten along, I didnât regret sleeping with him. Until now.
If Iâd known we would end up here, I would have shown better control. At the time, I thought Iâd see him for a few games, maybe All-Stars if we had a good season, and then that would be it.
This rivalry-turned-besties story the press is running with is ridiculous, and itâs only going to get worse now weâre on the same team.
Our bromance is going to be put under a microscope, which will put me front and center of tabloid dramaâthe exact thing I donât want.
. What a joke.
This narrative is easier to sell with us playing together though, and I wouldnât have put it past the Bâs PR to start that rumor in preparation for exactly this. I should have seen the trade coming days before I was told.
Nerves over being around Ezra add to the small seed of rejection from my old team, and the need to prove myself is all a bit too much. Iâm known for being cocky. Itâs a defense mechanism I developed from years of being a mediocre player. Fake it until you make it was my mantra in high school, and by the time I hit college, that confidence came naturally on the ice. But Iâm struggling to bring any of that attitude out today.
Just as Diedrich predicted, the coaches keep us on the ice for far longer than usual. I get next to no downtime as Coach Stephenson tries to get the new first line working together. Iâve graduated from second line to first with the trade, so I need to prove that I belong here. Not only with the team but as one of the guys who get the most ice time.
Itâs so different to Philly where we knew each otherâs plays and tells inside and out. It was instinctual. Here, Iâm working a lot harder to read the ice.
I grit my teeth after sending the puck sailing toward where Larsen should be but isnât, and I try to hold back from letting my frustration show. These are usual teething issues that we unfortunately only have today and tomorrow to fix before our game against Jersey. This practice isnât going well, and when I slip and glance over at Ezra, his expression confirms as much.
He doesnât say anything, but the spark in his eyes is enough.
.
Nope. This is me. Still refusing to let him get to me.
Coach dismisses everyone except Larsen, Diedrich, and me. He makes us run drills for another half an hour before heâs satisfied, and by the time I get to the gym, nearly everyone has finished their cooldown.
I grab a bike and try to ignore the mild stiffness in my thighs from prolonged time on the ice. Even though things are familiarâthe rink, the gym, a teamâitâs completely foreign at the same time. Change is something all NHL players have to get good at, but itâs always been a weakness of mine. I love the thrill of the lifestyle, but I work better with consistency, in my own environment. Itâs why I completely dominate at home games and have to work harder while weâre away.
I need to find that consistency again, and considering I grew up here, that shouldnât be a huge issue. All I have to do is set up a routine, and Iâll settle.
In Philly, sometimes after practice, Iâd sneak away to a shelter to volunteer. It would center me, make me feel like Iâm contributing to the world, but Iâd do a lot of the behind-the-scenes tasks because I donât actually want anyone to know that Iâm doing it. As soon as the media catch on to things like that, it cheapens the experience, and my parents always raised me to give to those less fortunate than myself. It was one of their conditions of paying for all my hockey shit. Theyâd see players like Ezra, who was born a prince of hockey because of his dad, so he had all the top-of-the-range equipment thrown at him. Me, I had to work for it. My parents could afford it, but their number one priority was teaching me humility.
The charity thing stuck with me because it reminds me of how privileged I am, so I continue to give back because itâs important to do something good for other people other than throwing money at the problemâthough I do that too. I may not act like it on the ice, but I can acknowledge the world doesnât revolve around me.
Unlike other people in my vicinity who think the sun shines out their ass.
Iâm so lost in my thoughts that I donât notice Larsen and Diedrich leave and another person enter the room until I catch sight of him in the mirror.
Ezra is leaning up against a wall not far from me, arms crossed as he watches me work out like he has all the time in the world. His hair is still damp from his shower, and heâs trimmed that ugly beard of his so that itâs actually sexy. Or maybe since sticking my dick in him, I find any small thing about him sexy.
I slow down my pedaling on the bike and come to a stop. âYes?â
âCoach sent me to see if you were done yet. He wants to run through game tape of New Jersey.â
âAnd he sent you. Total coincidence, Iâm sure.â
âCoincidence. Right. Fifty bucks says the coaches throw us together at all opportunities to force us to get along.â
âSo youâre saying I need to get used to your ugly mug?â I grab my towel and run it over my face and neck. âLet me shower, and Iâll be out.â
âSure.â
Iâm halfway into the showers when I realize Ezra is still following me. âWhat are you doing?â
âThought Iâd come check you out like you were doing to me in the locker room earlier.â
Apparently, Iâm not as subtle as I thought. âThere you go being conceited again.â
âThatâs how youâre going to play it? Would it really kill you to play nice with me?â
âIâm like ninety percent sure that would be detrimental to my health, yes.â
âHmm, only ninety. Iâll get it out of you one day, then.â
I give Ezra a chance to leave, but he settles against the tile. Fine. Itâs not like we arenât going to be showering together weekly in the future, so why not start now? I strip off and hit the showers, keeping my focus locked in front of me and not on whether heâs checking me out.
Besides, thereâs only so much attention I can give him when itâs taking all my restraint to keep my dick from getting hard.
âAnyway, we should probably try to at least get along. For the team.â
âSure.â
âThat was easy.â
I turn on the tap and step under the warm water. âWhat did you expect me to say?â
âI thought for sure thereâd be pushback or a smart-assed comment or . Iâm beginning to worry the articles were right. Is this the start of a bromance?â
I cringe at the thought but cover it by lathering up with soap. âIt depends. Are you still a douche with a big mouth who likes attention and fucks anyone whoâll have you?â
âYes.â
âThen my feelings havenât changed.â I duck back under the water to rinse off. When I shake the water from my hair, Ezraâs still there.
âAre still an uptight asshole who expects people to live by your standards and not their own? You donât need to reply, by the way. I already know the answer.â
I growl and turn off the shower before getting a towel and wrapping it around my waist. Being naked and close to Ezra is too much temptation.
When I advance on him, I swear thereâs interest in his icy-blue eyes, but I am one hundred percent not going to acknowledge it. That will only encourage him.
âIâm not here for your games, Palaszczuk. We have a job to do. You stay on your side of the ice, and Iâll stay on mine. I got so close to winning the Cup last year, and Iâm not going to let you stand in the way of me getting it this season.â
âYou think going to stand in the way? Iâm hungry to win that Cup, and with you on the team, everything weâve worked hard on in preseason will go down the drain.â
âOr with my help, you might make it to the championship game this year. But if thatâs how you want to play it, how about you donât worry about me, and I wonât worry about you.â
âScore for us the way you did for Philly and weâll be fine.â
I let my gaze drop to run over his tight T-shirt. It really is a crime how hot he is. âWe both know I can score. On and off the ice.â
And as Iâm about to stalk off with the final word, Ezra hooks a finger into the front of my towel, gives it a tug, and watches as it drops to the ground. My half-hard cock is left on full display.
âIâll stay out of your way, Hayes.â Ezra backs up for the door. âRemind your dick that you want distance next time youâre eye-fucking me.â
I scowl at his retreating back as I scoop up the towel and quickly dry off.
Sure, Ezra and I will get along.
The day he gets a personality transplant.