THEREâSÂ a morning press conference the day of the next game, the first since the trade, so up there on the podium are Moreau and Hayes next to Coach Stephenson and our GM.
Iâve snuck in the back, behind all the media, because I canât help myself. That and we have our morning skate right after this.
Anton looks too damn good in his suit, his black hair parted and styled in that perfect way he has it after games. His smiles are easy, and his answers are short. Heâs the walking definition of perfect PR.
Unlike me. Exhibit A: Iâm attending this press conference in jeans and my Bâs jacket. Big no-no, but the plan is to go unnoticed. That lasts all of two minutes until someone asks about the rift between Hayes and me.
Then suddenly cameras are pointed in my direction and toward the front.
Anton smiles again, still unflustered, and says into the mic, âEzra Palaszczuk and I have only ever come to blows on the ice.â
Hey, Iâd offer to blow him off the ice, but heâs adamant about pretending he doesnât want me.
âWeâre actually great friends,â he continues.
I bet that was difficult for him to get out without wanting to hurl.
âNow that weâre on the same team, thereâs no reason to be fighting over plays. You might not know it to look at Ezra, but he has a big heart and has even volunteered to help me with my latest charity campaign at the local animal shelter, Boston Paws. Weâre having a volunteer day this weekend, and heâll be there with me.â
Iâm going to be where with who now?
His dark eyes lock on me, along with every camera in the damn room, and suddenly his smile isnât so easy. Itâs downright evil.
I wave it off, acting like a good sport.
Heâs going to pay for that.
As soon as the press conference is over, I approach him in the locker room. His jacket and tie have been discarded, his suit shirt is unbuttoned, but thatâs as far as heâs gotten.
The other guys are only starting to arrive, so itâs still practically empty when I shove past Anton and send him flying into his cubby.
Anton rights himself and advances on me, only stopping barely a foot away.
I pump my eyebrows. âYou know, if you wanted to spend more time with me, all you had to do was ask. No need to steamroll me into going on a date with you.â
Moreau steps behind his old Philly teammate, but Anton holds him back.
âI got this,â Anton says.
Then his dark and broody stare is back on me. âIf you think spending any time outside the rink with you was by choice, youâre more egotistical than I ever thought.â
âThatâs your problem. Always underestimating me.â
Anton licks his lips. âI canât wait to see you on Sunday at the shelter. Rumor has it you have this weird fear of cats.â
My eyes widen.
âGuess what I signed you up for?â he continues. âCleaning out all the little kitty cages. Youâre welcome.â
I turn to the few guys who are here. âWhich one of you ratted me out?â
I might have an irrational about catsânot fear. Which everyone knows about after a stray black cat was found outside the arena one day. Larsen had brought it in to find a box for it, and we lost the next game. And the one after that.
âIf we lose the game against Philly on Monday, we know who to blame.â I glare at Anton. âWill you be able to remember whose side youâre on?â
âWorry about your own game.â Anton turns his back to me and finishes getting undressed.
I stand here and watch because while heâs still and always will be an asshole, his body is divine.
He does have a point though, because later that night when we play against New Jersey, I take more penalties, more hits, and let way too many shots on goal happen.
Itâs a shutout, and we leave the ice with our heads low.
âShouldâve gone with the dirty socks,â Larsen says as we head down the chute.
âShouldâve never traded and messed with our team dynamics.â
Anton, whoâs in front of me, takes his glove off and throws me the finger. âI was nowhere near the worst out there tonight.â
âOh, did I miss where you scored?â
âAt least I didnât spend more time in the sin bin than on the ice.â
âCut the crap,â Coach says behind me. âThe media is watching.â
A few reporters are hanging around outside the locker room waiting for sound bites and after-game interviews. Anton and I close our mouths like good little boys, but I bet Coach is already having regrets about the trade.
My alarm goes off at dark oâclock so I can get my ass to the fucking animal shelter to do this charity shit because fucking Anton Hayes is a fucking fuck fuck asshole fuck.
If it wasnât obvious before, itâs crystal clear now. I am not a morning person.
Mornings should be illegal. Unless Iâm climbing into bed instead of out of it.
I throw on the nearest pair of jeans I find crumpled on the floor and pull a Bâs shirt out of my closet.
Anton couldnât pick a shelter close by, could he? Nope. I have to schlep all the way out to Gloucester. I bet he did that on purpose.
I grab coffee on the way but am ready for another one when I pull into the parking lot. Hell, Iâm ready for a vat of it. Or an IV drip. Caffeine, get in my veins.
Anton stands by the door, arms folded, scowl on his beautiful face. No, not beautiful. Damn it. âYouâre late.â
âYouâre an asshole,â I bite back.
âOriginal.â He opens the door.
âIâm not caffeinated enough for originality.â
âLetâs get to work. We need all the cages clean before people turn up to look at adoption.â
âDonât worry. Iâm sure we can find someone whoâd want to take you home. Maybe. Actually, no, itâs a tall order.â
He lowers his voice, letting out a sexy but teasing rasp. âThatâs not what you said a few months ago.â
âIâm a temporary stop. Iâm no oneâs forever home.â
Antonâs dark brows furrow at me, but itâs the truth. Iâm not the settling down type. I have nothing against the sanctity of marriage or monogamyâmaybe one day the urge to settle will pull me down the aisleâbut I canât see it happening. The idea of long-term makes me itchy. Iâve never had that need to claim someone as the person who belongs to me.
Iâm not convinced the need exists. It certainly didnât for my parents.
We get to a set of doors, and Anton grabs a pair of rain boots and shoves them into my hands. âPut these on.â
âWhy couldnât we have turned up when the cameras and people were here so it looks like we did it?â I grumble as I switch out my shoes.
âThatâs probably the most Ezra-like thing Iâve ever heard you say.â He pushes cleaning supplies at me next.
âHey, Iâm not against charity, but the schedule is so grueling during the season, I want to take advantage of every chance I get to sleep in.â
âOf course you do.â
We enter the cat area, which is a depressing room if I ever saw one.
All the cats are in individual cages, not like others Iâve seen where theyâre housed in a big area together outside with play equipment. Thereâs one climbing tree in the corner, and I canât help getting a prison vibe from it all. Each of them gets one hour of rec time outside their cell.
I would feel sorry for them, but cats are evil bastards. Who knows? Maybe theyâre all doing time for murder and eating their ownersâ faces.
âYou can put the supplies down here.â He points to a table.
âYes, sir,â I mutter.
âYou really are cranky in the mornings. I was warned about that by a few of your teammates. Apparently, you go through roommates on the road faster than you do hookups. Now thatâs impressive.â
âThank you.â
âNot a compliment.â He heads for the corner of the room, and I follow him.
I want to point out my teammates are now his teammates too, but I donât. âMaybe I wouldnât be complaining so much if youâd volunteered for me to visit an old peopleâs home or a cancer ward. I can cheer up a whole room by walking into it. But animals?â Just as I say this, we walk past a cage, and a cat hisses at me. âCats donât like me. Where are the dogs?â
Anton opens one of the cages and picks up a black kitten. He lifts it in front of his face and does a ridiculous voice. âPwease, Ezwa. Loooove me! Iâm a cute innocent kitten, but everyone hates me because of stupid superstition that black cats are bad wuck.â
âBlack cats bad luck.â
âHooold me.â Without missing a beat, he practically shoves the poor thing in my arms.
It scrambles to get away, and I almost drop it, but then I hold it close to me, andâ
âOuch. It bit me.â
âMaybe if you werenât trying to smother it, it would play nice. You know, they say animals have a great sense of reading people. They know when they meet a shitty person and show it.â
âI think thatâs dogs. Cats hate everyone.â
Anton grunts. âFine, Iâll hold the cat. You do the cleaning.â He takes the evil thing back, and the tiny fluff ball immediately settles in his big arms and starts purring.
âMaybe dogs can sense good humans and cats can sense people who are dead inside. Just like them.â
âHurry up and get to work.â
I sigh and start the job of emptying out the cage, which is already sparse apart from one toy, one blanket, and the litter tray.
Anton takes the kitten over to the climbing tree and watches as it explores. He has a slight smile on his face and almost looks peaceful.
âHow do you know your way around here already?â I ask. âYou were traded a few days ago.â
âI was on time. Plus, I grew up here. Used to volunteer here during school.â
âWhat? No way. How did I not know you were from Boston?â
âIs it because I donât say things like âIâm wicked smahtâ?â
âHey, Iâve never said wicked in my life, but I still have that Boston edge in my accent.â
He cocks his head. âMaybe you didnât know because youâre only interested in yourself.â
âOh, right. That. But also, how did we not cross paths before going pro?â
Anton snorts. âBecause you had your head so far up your ass you never noticed me before?â
âWait ⦠we were in the same league?â
âWe only had one season where we played against each other because Iâm younger than you, but yeah. Itâs hard not to remember the guy who thought he was above it all, even back then.
who didnât have to work at anything. Natural-born talent, all the newest equipment money could buyââ
âYouâre forgetting all the pressure Dad put on me to make it all the way.â
Anton shrugs. âI saw a cocky kid who had it all. I ⦠I was quiet back then, still figuring myself out, and I had to fight tooth and nail to become the best at hockey. I didnât really hit my stride until freshman year of college. By then, you were already drafted and in the AHL.â
I try to think back to when I was a teenager, and fuck, I barely remember my teammates let alone anyone I played against. âSo, what Iâm hearing is, youâve had a crush on me since high school.â
Anton lets a laugh slip out. âCan you get back to cleaning, please?â
âSure. But just know, when we lose every single game from here on out, itâs because you made me hold a black cat.â
âIâll take all the blame.â
âGood.â
By the time weâve cleaned out all the cages and moved on to the dogs who have much bigger and better living quarters, Iâm exhausted.
But then an adorable old golden retriever mix tackles me when I open his cage, and it gives me a burst of energy. âAt least likes that Iâm here.â
âMm, an affection-starved, homeless dog. I donât think his standards are high.â
âFrom memory, heâs not the only one in this space who has slobbered all over me.â
âYeah, well, my standards that night took a massive dive too.â While his words are still as cutthroat as ever, I canât help noticing the conviction is missing. His tone is lighter, and when I look up from where Iâm playing with the dog, not only is he smiling, but heâs smiling at I get the impression heâs trying to remind himself how much he hates me.
We get the rest of the cages clean with the help of other volunteers who arrive not long after we start on the dog area. Then for the actual PR part of the day.
Adopt an animal, meet a hockey player.
This is the kind of PR I like. Not because it makes me look good, but meeting fans, especially young kids who look up to me, is not only an ego stroke, but it feels like Iâm actually doing something good. I like giving people hope in a world that has so much wrong with it.
And when a teen boy comes up to me, his eyes cast down, head held low, I can predict what heâs about to say before he says it. Heâs not the first confused-looking kid to come out to me.
His brown hair falls in his eyes. He has to be around fifteen, but heâs muscular for a teen. If it werenât for the acne and braces, Iâd assume he was older from his physique.
He glances around and steps closer, speaking low. âUmm, I wanted to say thank you for, umm, you know ⦠ummââ
âWhatâs your name?â
âTai.â
I hold my hand out to shake his. âYou can call me Ez.â
His face lights up. âReally?â
âOf course. Itâs nice to meet you, Tai.â
âUh, well, yeah, umm, thank you. Again.â
âIâm guessing you donât mean for volunteering here.â
He wears a small smile. âNo. I mean â¦â The next part comes out in a rush. âFor-coming-out-and-playing-hockey.â
âIâm not doing anything heroic. Iâm just being myself. Everyone should be allowed to be themselves.â
He finally meets my eyes. âThatâs heroic to me.â
Beside me, I sense Anton listening in.
âI hope one day youâre as supported as I feel in the league.â Okay, so not everything is perfect in that sense, but I feel a hell of a lot safer than I ever could have imagined at Taiâs age.
âC-can I get a selfie?â Tai asks.
âOf course.â
The whole time, Anton keeps watching us, and when Tai walks away, I lean in closer.
âCareful. With how hard youâre staring, someone might think you have a thing for me.â
Anton shakes his head. âJust when I think you might actually be a decent human being underneath all your shit, you come out with â¦
.â
âHey, I can be a decent human being and be full of shit at the same time, thank you very much. Itâs called multitasking.â
âIf you say so.â
I will never, ever, ever admit it, but today has actually been fun.
Minus the cats.