'seek and you will find'
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Aesthetics
'Insane Lane'
I should have stayed in bed
"Open the damn door," Maaz wasn't giving up banging. Ayat looked at him with half close eyes. Partially annoyed, deranged and cold, shrunk in a corner, seeing him struggle for about 15 minutes straight, but no reply from outside. Maaz picked up an iron rod and tried to break open the door. He threw it aside when nothing helped them out the steel door.
"Shahzain if i come out, you are going to be a dead man!"
"Old habits die harder. You think threats can work right?" Ayat commented. Maaz looked at her obnoxious expression, like she was careless of what was happening.
"In my world they sure do, actually when death seems so near, they are the only thing that works and can't you see they locked us here!" Maaz stated. Ayat got up to face him completely aware of his temper, she came just till his shoulder but with a lifted chin and his head down they came almost eye level. He did it on purpose. She was trying to annoy him but he knew just what to do to stop it. He stepped closer, his scent already forming crazy patterns in her mind. His aura was intoxicating. His shallow breaths tickled her neck. She stepped back in daze trying to find a way out.
"I can see we are locked. I am not thick headed," Ayat formed words with so much struggle that one couldn't count.
When she took one step back. He took two towards her, and in the shallow light of his torch nothing seemed real, it all seemed like a dream to her. Like she'd wake up and he'd disappear, in that moment she felt the urge to hold onto him. Maybe it was just regret speaking. But...he destroyed her engagement. He killed someone. He manipulated her, and left her alone. That is how strong this man's dirty façade took him. All that love was only manipulation and all pre planned, like he knew everything he did from the very start. From the start till the end. All the memories ate her up like acid coming through her and all the regret overtaken by sudden anger and frustration. Her eyes reflected just how much she hated him for ruining her life and playing with her feelings but a part of her.
Whilst, he couldn't recover from the fact that she was actually in front of him, in all her glory. He wondered a lot of things. Like how was she doing? Did she really hate him? Was he that scary that it led her to hate him? But then only conclusion seemed right. All the love he gave to her this ungrateful girl never deserved it. She never trusted him. Never understood his heart that had the capability to melt like a candle with a dancing flame. She could never understand the passion he had for her, or how pious he wanted it to remain. She never understood. No one did. And for that only one thing seemed correct. Revenge. But a part of him.
Her throat closed up as he neared her and trapped her between the wall. He firmly surrounded her with both his arms on either side of her and staring into her eyes not blinking for a minute second. He stared her down with his devilish eyes and closed her up, like he had finally cornered his prey.
"Maaz, this is wrong," She stuttered trying to absorb herself in the stoned wall until her spine ached from the pain she was pushing herself with.
"Everything," He whispered near her ear, her chest started to rise and fall rapidly "Is fair in love and war," He completed.
"No," She managed to say. Her mind becoming hazy with the intoxicating closeness and all those butterflies and the surge of anger he was making her feel so many things all at once. "There is no love,"
"I know. I clearly know that you hate me, I am glad the feelings are mutual,"
He looked like a dead man's last wish. A sinner's wildest dream. The most beautiful sin. The top buttons of his dress shirt were undone, his hair messily rested on his forehead and his beard thick and dark lightly brushing over her cheek. She closed her eyes, sudden pain taking her over.
The feelings are mutual.
Why did it hurt so much when he said it?
"Stay away," She mentioned trying to push him
"Shhh," She looked behind suddenly feeling fear. "You are under my mercy now, Ayat,"
He internally smirked seeing the sudden panic in the girls eyes.
"I am telling you. Just stay away," She muttered. Tears as big as a crocodiles coming out her eyes. She didn't know what she didn't like him hating her or making her feel unsafe.
"I warned you didn't I?"
"STOP,"
He held but her hands and twisted them on top of her head.
"I am just giving you what you called me for,"
Her lips pursed. "Have you gone crazy? Why would I call you?"
"Because,"
He turned the only source of light off. "Maaz,"
She called in sudden panic, completely aware of their intimate position.
He gave a wet and lingering kiss on her teary eyes. With the initiation her body went jelly again, he trailed those lips down her jaw line, giving her foreign sensations. This is what he meant, like she called him. Like she was the one drawn by lust. She felt used and disgusted. this wasn't the Maaz she met years ago and developed feelings for and felt heartbroken on his departure. He wasn't insensitive. He had a heart and she saw it, his softness no matter what the world said, but fear overtook her, and even though she wanted to help him with all her heart. She couldn't. She couldn't because she was afraid. And there isn't a more subtle poison than fear.
"Mujhay apse ghin aa rahi ha, Maaz," (I feel disgusted from you, Maaz)She managed to say. Maaz opened his eyes. Emotionless and cold.
"Telling your friends to do the drama of you getting kidnapped and then locking us here, name it Ayat Mirza Hassan, you are getting it right here, right now,"
"What kind of language is this?"
"So you didn't set us up here?"
"What has happened to you?"
His eyes twitched like her pained words will cause a change of heart and make him act a little more human. But he hadn't learnt the things a basic mundane does. He knew she wasn't the cause of all this. She was as clueless. He just wanted to punish her for all the pain she had inflicted on him. He wanted to hurt her.
"Tumhare saath jo ho rha ha saahi ho rha ha," (You deserve whatever you are going through) Maaz said. "Tumhe kia laga apne ye ansoo dekha ka mujhay pata lo gi, ghalat fehmi ha tumhari, sochna bhi mat ke ma tum par rehm karoon," (Do you think you can melt me with these sick tears, it is a huge mistake don't you ever even think I'd have mercy, particularly on you)
A bit of confidence built in her. Maaz wouldn't hurt her. "Mazay ki baat tou yeh hai keh ap kuch ker he nahi sakte, sirf dhamkiyan dene sa kuch nahi hota," (It's quite interesting how you are promising to do all these things, but you know better, you should do more than just blackmail)
"Dhamki lag rhi ha?!"( You think it's only a blackmail!) He shouted clutching her wrist tightly and twisting it on her back a clear reply to her intended taunt. "Tumhara bhi qatal kerke kutton ko dal doon ga," (I'll kill you and feed you to dogs)
Tears trailed down her cheek in pain. "Maaz,"
"Ye tou kuch nahi ha abhi tou tumse bohat sare hisab chukte karne ha Ayat Mirza Hassan," A painful stream travelled through her arm. (This is nothing. There is a lot you'll have to pay for)
"Hisab ki baat ho he rhi ha tou batao ke kia tumne apne ap ko phansi dali us qatal ke liya? Oh yad aya tumne tou qatal kia he nahi na, wo tou us bande ne khud ko he mar diya, how convincing," (If it's really about payment, then did you hang yourself for that murder? Oh now I remember you didn't kill that man, he shot the bullet in his own throat, because it is so convincing isn't it?)
Maaz had forgotten how recklessly she tended to talk sometimes. There was no stop when Ayat Mirza Hassan started roasting people. She knew he didn't murder, but right now it was more about who'd hurt the other more than about facing facts.
"I don't owe you a fucking explanation. Bhonkta hua kutta samajhti ho na mujhay, tou meray batane sa bhi tumhe yakeen nahi aney wala," (You think of me as a barking dog, so even if I tell you the truth you aren't going to believe it)
"Mujhay tou shak he tha keh tumhara wo dost tumhe jitna bhi cover karle, bhage tum apne qatal ki waja sa he the, us waqt tou bhag gaye the tou ab q aye ho, akhir apko kia farq parta tha ka ma jiyun ya marun?" (I had doubts that no matter how much your friend covers you, you ran away because you were guilty, and why come now? And why do you care whether I live or die?)
Maaz had had enough as his voice echoed through the attic in its darkness. "Bas kardo!" (Enough!)
"Bas kardo, Bhaga nahi tha, chala gaya tha q k tum mujhay nahi chahti thi," (Enough. I didn't ran away, I left because you didn't want me there) He spoke. "And if I had left earlier maybe my father would have had some last minutes with me, but I chose you over him,"
"Don't you dare blame me for anyone's death. I am sorry about your loss but I didn't call you to help me, after all I was in danger because of you,"
"It was because of your stupidity, and I came because I loved you,"
I loved you.
As in past tense. Her heart sunk listening to it. He didn't love her anymore and somehow it didn't feel pleasant.
"Acha pyar tha jo 3 minute na rha," (Wonderful love it was, which couldn't last 3 minutes)
"Pyar chahiya?" (So you want love?) Maaz taunted. "Pyar chahiya? Q k baqi sab chor gaye, tou ab mai yad agaya? Mujhay pata nahi tha k tum itni matlabi aur ghatya ho sakti ho," (So now you want love? Why? Because everyone else left you so now you want me? I didn't know you were so selfish and low)
"Han chor diya un sab ne, aur innocent banke ye kehne me apna time waste mat karna ka unme sa aik engagement tumhari waja sa nahi tuti," (Yes they left me, but don't mind acting all innocent and saying you weren't the cause of end to one of my engagements)
"Now blame the global warming on me as well, you know what? do the hell you want, but remember one thing Ayat Mirza Hassan, Maaz wouldn't love you ever,"
"It's not my thing to beg for love, and who wants love from a beast like you?"
"Mohabbat mile na mile par aik cheez lazmi hogi," (It doesn't matters if you get the love or not, but I am going to make sure one thing)
He planted his lips near her ears and whispered. "You are going to severely burn in the holocaust of my abhorrence,"
She pushed him onto the ground, he stumbled but didn't mind falling down. He remained put smiling like a maniac. He found the nearest chair and crashed it on the ground. She squirmed in response when he hit the door again. She should have stayed in bed .
"Darwaza kholo!" (Open the door!)
...
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